An old story reprised.

Note All characters are entirely ficticious and my excuse of any family or party epithet have inadvertently been used


My Lady 's extraction, the butler Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the drawing room windows. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a nurseryman snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary summertime day.

Mr Harrison my lord 's parentage broker and adviser arrived just after luncheon, he asked no demanded to see my peeress with the furthest urgency.

'' But sir, my lady is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most probable with one Lieutenant Carruthers her latest dalliance.

I went to search her, I went upstairs to her elbow room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo good, do n't end. ``

'' There 's individual knocking, '' a man 's voice hissed.

'' Mr William Henry Harrison wishes an audience my lady, '' I explained through the fold door.

'' Then have him wear a curious wig and look at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny Reb, '' my ma'am whispered, `` Look its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a moment ! ''

Amazingly quickly my lady appeared at the door, a imagination of prosperous Robert F. Curl and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lipstick.

'' My dame, '' I explained, `` Your lip joystick ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so goddam impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the damage with a napkin.

'' in effect chap, mums the word ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his notecase from his whitened cricket pant he tucked a ten Tanzanian shilling annotation in my top air pocket, `` See myself out, back way. '' and he slipped away, the very prototype of a lounge lizard, or should that be lounge snake.

I left him to his deceit and misrepresentation, no uncertainty the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to give up half an hr for cuckolding but perhaps his tremendous ego would not allow him to appear less than a superman at the fold but he was certainly most slimy of my lady 's affections.

My lady swept downstairs, `` Mr. Harrison, what a pleasant surprisal ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not Lady Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we speak privately ? ``

'' The study is available my peeress, '' I suggested.

'' He means bugger off Holdford ! '' my lady hissed.

'' Alford my lady, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my noblewoman. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my stool, Mrs Bridge the James Cook stood at the sink, `` Trouble Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, heavy breasted, round shouldered and old before her time, `` None of our clientele Mrs bridge circuit, '' I said using the courtesy title of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a virgin, with little candidate of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my lady shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the sketch and toss the door wide. My lady was aghast, but stood curtilage from Rex Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My ma'am is distraught ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no rap. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' Lord Saltcoats has been declared bankrupt, '' President Benjamin Harrison explained, `` Receivers have been appointed, my lord has seven calendar day to vacate these premises, meanwhile all bank story are frozen. ``

'' What do you stand for ? '' I demanded.

'' Household report, all that sort of thing, '' he explained, `` It 's the stock market, and reinsurance, in high spirits finance, you would n't understand. ``

I should induce hit him for his vilification, but how was he to recognise my true character ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the framework of the nation house.

'' There will be some residual surely, the Greater London residence ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liability vastly exceed the assets. ``

'' Then why let this bechance ! '' I queried.

'' None of your business organisation, '' he said, `` But I had no idea, none at all, I merely deal his lordship 's investment portfolio, of course we made grueling losings, but no more than anyone else, less than many, it 's not my shift he started meddling in indemnity, none at all ! ``

'' What does it mean, where will we go ! '' my madam demanded.

The telephone rang, in an automatic reflex response I went to the entrance residence to answer it.

'' Rainsford home, master Saltcoats residence, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' someone demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' right face its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's London chauffeur, I got some bad news program. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' flavour tell Mrs Bridges that Almighty Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone ruin. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at Victoria around ten o'clock this morning and they said to go home when I got back, I reckon he legged it to French Republic on the chassis de working girl, '' he meant the Golden Arrow gearing, `` What do you mean ruin ? '' he demanded, `` Oh tinker's dam, I ai n't got no Thomas More pennies tell Mrs Bridges, '' he said after the telephony pinged and suddenly it went bushed Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only seemly affair, '' Rex Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The caravan ferry to France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the entire shit ! '' my lady cried.

'' Indeed my noblewoman, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally private use of his lordship 's telephone was grounds for instant dismission but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the nothingness I booked a call to my camber in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` sept Silver, '' in their safety deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my ma'am protested when she saw me at the telephone when I should have shown Mr Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How dare you ! '' she said, `` call for your things you are dismissed forthwith ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can dismiss you with nothing ! '' she said, `` No defrayment, no acknowledgment, no theatrical role ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! guide your things and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay Lieutenant Carruthers and a few more I might cite ! '' I suggested.

'' No, assault ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the door and pushed her inside pausing only to bolt the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at to the lowest degree let me undo the come-on, this cost an absolute portion. ``
'' Of form, '' I said, `` Allow me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her clothes, `` Be heedful, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded breasts bulged over her red stays, her red breeches enclosed by the gallus straps, and she stood up and laid the dress carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's good, '' she said and she screamed, `` ravishment, '' again respective times.

'' Ot would seem the US cavalry is otherwise engaged my noblewoman, '' I observed as I removed my highly polished calamitous shoes to reveal well worn pitch-black air-sleeve with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Does Lieutenant Carruthers remove his shirt and under shirt madam ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your clientele, '' she declared, `` Rape ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my jacket and shirt front, slipped the cardboard collar off and removed my undershirt.

'' near lord, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my flies and removed trousers and underpants in a ace motion.

'' God, you are pleased to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my manhood as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her brace away from her stockings and pushed her knickers down before kicking them off her feet.

'' Rape, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't hurt me will you, and there are some johnny 's in the fertilization table.

'' They spoil the second my Lady, '' I explained, `` I shall mount you as the in force Almighty intended. ``

It was nearly a calendar week since my last night off, spent with two buxom whore in the town a wearisome ten long miles away by bicycle, and my need was majuscule, and her protests were short but tokens.

'' Do n't hurt me, '' she asked again as I gripped her waist as I planted my knees firmly between hers and blindly aimed my manhood at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining manhood between her unseen slit lips and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the tactile property of her moist cunt gripping me.

'' I do n't know, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` Better ? '' I asked.

'' lots ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's better, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` Fuck me, you 're going to prison for this so enjoy yourself ! ``

I started to retrieve of her as a working girl, a beautiful gilded haired richly class whore, and then I remembered the smeared lipstick and I determined to try her sass as well and I dipped my lips to fondle hers.

Her tongue emerged instantly, running around my tooth, my mind exploded and so did my cock jolt and pumping and flooding her section, and as our mouths parted she was gasping and mussitation, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're bankrupt '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, rape or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My lady. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't face wrecking, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing police lieutenant ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me experience estimable, '' she said, `` But then to be honest, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a nice common cold mobile phone or me ? ``

'' What a choice, may I have a moment to think my lady ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearing to conserve, '' she insisted and she went to dress again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a katzenjammer of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My Almighty. '' Binks the oral sex gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his Lordship 's insolvent, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs Bridges asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to put up behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no intention of leaving so soon yet there was petty dot in remaining, `` We need to talk, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you drive ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll take the bankroll, '' she insisted, `` The shooting bracken ! ``

We left that same evening, her luggage stowed in every spare space it that huge crudely overbodied travesty of a lavishness car so broad that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you indicate ? '' she replied.

'' wellspring I doubt cooking or cleansing is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, lady of pleasure, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' Separate beds ? '' she asked, `` I 'll call you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for study ! '' I joked.

I could n't trust her, I never really intended for her to become a fancy woman but could not put on the line telling her the truth, maybe I should have, but I didn't.

You see three twelvemonth before my forefather had made organisation for me to work in the United state of America, to learn about the American system of rules of banking which seemed so greatly superior to ours, and while there the great clangoring of 1929 erupted through the all economic system.
I was working at a sensitive sizing city bank as a kind of helper manager, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to chance all at once.

Ordinary people, even tribe waited in a air right down the street and you did n't need to be a genius to work out we had not even a tenth of the money those people thought they had in their news report to pay them. We started paying out in the aurora and by noon the vault was empty, except that is an innocuous cardboard box of big economic value nib which somehow found their way in my locker, for secure keeping you understand.

Ted cristal top dog teller and Jim McFadden the managing director came down the bank hall all glum faced, `` Shut the doors Jim, '' McFadden said to the guard, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a near rioting, I slipped out the indorse way with my box and in all the discombobulation I swapped my XX seven Buick for the janitor 's wheel and pelage and I rode off down the street on that bicycle with about a half million one dollar bill in that cardboard box balanced on the mark bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north west towards New York City on the eventide train.

So what do you do when you have half a million dollars of mortal else 's hard cash ? Why get a job of course.

Except the universe and his pal was looking for a job, so I bought some furniture, put my box in a sideboard, had it crated and arranged shipment to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed habitation 2nd class.
I had my crate put in reposition and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the nation, changed my gens to Alford and forged some character reference and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some country air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my extension were forged, she thought she could sack me any time and that would keep me in line and halt me telling her husband about her lovers.

But now I had half a million dollar to spend, without being noticed.

We found a nice little apartment, it was over a betting workshop in the Harrow Road, the estate agent had hundreds of empty properties, we could ask our pick.

She had preservation, we pawned some of her jewellery, we painted the apartment, bought seam piece of furniture, I had my poppycock from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a real number team.

Then when we were all ready to spread out I told her my plan, `` take care, '' I said one eve after a particularly foresightful and gruelling seance in bed.

'' I know, Mister flopsy is tired, he needs a kiss, '' she said as she bent to kiss my relent penis.

'' My madam, you do n't want to log Z's with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollar mark to launder, you just say an eccentric American paid you in one dollar bill. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the workplace, we were going to get a maid, start small, build up, two or three gentlemen a night to lead off with. ``

'' We can just use it as a blanket, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't require ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously think you satisfy me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr Floppy always needing a sucking to kick start him, for heavens sake ! ``

'' You want to be a whore ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a gentleman in XL minutes and a handmaid in ten. ``

'' At the Saame time ? '' I queried, `` One up the back handing over ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the sums, even with a few twenty-four hour period a calendar month when we need a stand in we will reach a killing ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your turn, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need More. ``

We heard nothing of Lord Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The gentlewoman 's Boudoir '' one evening in September 1932.

The name was stencilled on the door beside the betting shop an inside the door we had a booth where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the bottom of the stair and then I would recognise the man, take their hats and mitt and stand in attending in case they needed assist with bandaging and always maintain discretion and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid morning till after midnight while a succession of men used her, `` Good day sir may I take your hat ? '' I would ask and get a contemptuous glare in return as baseball mitt were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached arrangement for the betting shop to be our waiting room, every day there was my gentlewoman, answering to any name under the sun, play acting the sweet heart, legs astride, bitch glistening. nipple distended, bathed in sweat like as not and then dragging some half raw gentleman minus trouser and underpants but like as not retaining socks and drogue suspender to her as she grasped his rampant extremity to aim it within her or fellate it to life or culmination.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, metre after meter, week after workweek, month after month until every apothecaries' ounce of compassion I had for her was ground to nada by the friction of crotch upon crotch.

I rented a house for us in Middlesborough terrace so we could get away from her work, but she was always too fag so I had the former chamber converted to another work room, bare floors and a elementary mattress.

They paid spear carrier for the mere mattress, the more soiled it got the unspoiled they liked it because it stopped being gentlemen and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to eff a ok lady on a begrime mattress.

'' Maybe you would prefer standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a bit of foolhardy sarcasm.

'' And how lots extra would that be ? '' the crack asked quite seriously.

'' Double, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll experience that ! '' he agreed.

She used the courtyard, the ginnel was too public and she wore a duet of cogs and a servants smock, sometimes we had three men waiting while a fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the madam, if she remembered to stay fresh her mouth shut, when not clamped around a customer 's member that is, she was very well, except it made too much body of work for me keeping an eye on two woman of the street, taking money and everything.

One Nox a Irishman asked me to love him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an idea, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an advertising in the window and got ten inquiries in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked nothing better than wearing a chick with nothing under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie accentuate betrayed him and he relished the idea of ramming his substance up gentleman's gentleman 's backsides while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely up to so I left him to it, and gradually did to a lesser extent and less time at the Boudoir and he became more or less the director while I planned my side by side move.

I went to London and became delayed with my affaire and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` Gentlemen want variety show sir, I got some new young lady in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the whole reason ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a whore, sir. I never thought she was your special tart. ``

I went out to essay her, I asked around until I heard of someone sustenance in a hut by the railway and earning a crust from plate bed and the like.

I had to find her and bought a derby hat and gaberdine coat like a railway system official and marched down to the rail yards.

There was no foretoken of her, but then a lucky apoplexy, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' person asked a driver as his duty period ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the lady, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the long space men lodged before returning home, and there I found her naked but for a coat open at the front sitting on an engine man 's locker listening to the tales of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the house, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to charge more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to comfort, '' she said, `` They make me finger wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde hair seemed to be silvering, her peel once like alabaster now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll stay fresh an account for your money, you know where to get hold me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in Monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each other after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scotsman had her in his coal dusted arms and his blacken hands ran through her fuzz and his black lips brushed her deep red lips and it was more than I could abide to see.

I hid my tears and left her even as she gasped in approval as her scots lover took her to heaven once more .