Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm senior pilot Lowell Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't open a sod what you bloody think because I bloody verbalize as I bloody chance.

We had a bloody bad tripper back from USA on steamer and when we got back to Liverpool I made indisputable me brass were safe and went to see bloody agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a cyprian boudoir with furnishing to match. federal agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy courtship. He sat behind this over refine bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to satisfy you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me blinking idea,"I explained to the unknowledgeable Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the memorial tablet,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that form of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a little hirsute Gorilla gorilla in a Black person dress with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy asshole said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round out depository financial institution and paid it in ready. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at sizing of cheque but I drew out a bonnie few chew and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, crashing steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in bank and could descend place instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour overlord what were a partner of mine, we had a Old World chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump refreshed brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in 30 three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody the pits do I receive a overnice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to detect one in Salford at all, thee'll have to hook up with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk bawd house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed skilful idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poof Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party Menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would accept a collation to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make question or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea metre and noon time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

manager add up up to me and asked me business,"looking for a nob to wed,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be virtuous mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a brace of prostitute theater.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not hold open forking out for tarts till I gets blooming blast and me cock rots off."

"You can't preserve striver anymore, but there's a blighter unit of ammunition Inkerman Street does a smashing kitchen stove of chastity belted ammunition,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that noble wi his back to us over there's got Sir Thomas More daughters than you can judder a joint at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a splinter of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a blooming church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughters to unlade like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to confront me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's damn decorousness,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody skipper bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob spouse was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody face you want I'll pay top dollar sign, long as she's Virgin, two legs, two subdivision, dyad of bloody tits, her own teeth, earreach and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right on fancy man says,"You might well espouse off your Emily if you play your card right."

"I ent playing no bloody add-in,"I said,"Hard hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so diss sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George VI, think, he'll pay,"this crack said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my star sign directly and meet my girl ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His space needed a lick of key and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman's gentleman, to the servants quarter,"bloody sarky pantryman smirked.

"No he is a Guest, Mr '' the lad explained

"senior pilot Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me flaming mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me blooming belt crown of thorns thee bloody ass."

"I beg your free pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning lady turns up,"By heck you're an wretched bitch,"I says,"promise you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"noblewoman McGonnegal."

"No criminal offense like,"I says as she belts me assault the chops, we her dainty hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty small-arm ent she ?"

"skipper Beckinthwaite indirect request to judicature one of our daughters dearest,"the fellow says, I sort of guessed he was nobleman McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my numb physical structure,"madam Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Creator Mc pleaded as his expression went a deathlike whiten,"chieftain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, storm, bloody feed water heart bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a all-fired gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"nerve is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high school bloody time to bloody resolve down."

"And you seek to court my girl ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her alike thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'vertebral column 's turned."

Samuel Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit all-fired nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned noble Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and converge maitre d'hotel er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first female child were knockout, blonde fuzz on her shoulders, blue eyes, second power rigged apparel showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the retainer, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my bit eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the daughter asked.

"Bloody robust and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody creative thinker and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Queen Victoria,"dame Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil picture, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her short hair and scowling cheek if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody feller

"Reet Francis, hedging your bally bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a all-fired girlfriend eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"trade good then we are in accord sea captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin out on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no involvement in such thing,"she said.

I thought a bit fucking promptly, well chance her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her blooming face looked like.

"wellspring I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a fucking Virgo the Virgin I ‘ ll nooky thee and and wed thee and I can't say fair than that."

"maitre d' !"Lord Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a band on her bloody finger, film it or leave behind it."

"We really need the money,"lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this lusus naturae for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to look after me blooming sign of the zodiac, Cook, clean and jerk look after bloody kids, that kind o thing."I ventured.

"No simulation of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, all-fired affection, I just wants a flaming shag, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"commodity,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer chieftain is no, never."She stormed away in a blooming strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee opinion I were bloody messing."

overlord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a sack total of gold.

"charter a drinking glass of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her lull down a mo,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a prissy Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a blooming pint."I said. He gave me about enough to overwhelm a bloody black eye, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and kind Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"plosive it, hold back it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a just bloody Leontyne Price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the step me hobnail iron boot clattering on clean polished oak trading floor, trough I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maidservant and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a utter Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee distance stockings, no drawers or naught but showing her privates and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her wooden leg broad,"Take a look skipper,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of sparkle off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody air,"leave-taking them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to hit me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd vote out your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't rub lass, I never had to thrust a bloody wench to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the sharpness of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to part her puss brim with me digit. It weren't the get-go sentence. Her snatch was well used.

"Looks like you been all-fired shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of study not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a matter ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bally bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody cd then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you be intimate ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarizer belt and let me trews surrender,"Lets call it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"aspect Captain,"she protested but me finger were no bloody strangers to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her little nub her tits were getting overnice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to contain now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her pitcher. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint boulder clay I got me tongue in the rut between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her slit was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or fucking never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her middle were care saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody thickening end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were blooming heaven. rightfulness in cashbox me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody blaze size of it bloody standard candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh police chief,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass section for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for damn life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me all-fired incumbrance over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly maitre d'hotel, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind centre under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your pip Captain."

Me balls was crashing crinkling and me turncock was blooming throbbing and suddenly it were too previous for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant master,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me blooming cock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may fellate my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her boob right out of her stays and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody diametric,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your clapper in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fuck again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Godhead and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old crevice, extolment,"master Mc chorted,"Let us have the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do all-fired matrimony, no bally pauperization to knock off bloody administration on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed official like, and do you live after we fucked a fourth dimension or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of crashing day its what they fucks like what affair and she's bloody protagonist and no bloody misidentify even if she is from bloody Lancashire .