When I used to travel on business concern I would occasionally place an ad in the Craigs List Men-for-Women section. It was mostly a way to stamp out fourth dimension while was alone in a hotel room. I 'd write something fun, like `` baby Oil, Wine & Hot Tub - What Could Be honest ? '' The body of the post would be well written, in complete sentences, with right punctuation. If you ever looked at CL itemization, these basic qualities made the ad rack out from the normal `` HMU 2 F $ # @ '' type fare.

As an older white guy ( just over 50 when I posted this particular ad ), it 's not comparable my in-box got flooded. The reception were mostly from Russian swindler, woman of the street, and drug freak. Depending on how blase I was, I 'd turn the tabular array on the scammers, be gracious to the floozie, and point the junkie toward topical anaesthetic treatment centers.

Occasionally, I 'd get a hit from a very, genuine human being. Most emails were rib offering bump jobs. Once in a sorry moon, a woman would respond.

One day, I received a confidently written reply that did n't get the English-as-second-language cue that revealed a foreign scammer. The billet simply answered my query about `` what could be better. '' The woman whom I would come to experience as Madison wrote, `` umber would be better. '' Opinionated I thought. I like substantial women. In plus to the subject pipeline common mood, she wrote only these tidings, `` Are you single ? ''

Opinionated, curt and moral.

My response did n't lie, but I agreed with her assessment, then offered gloomy umber along with a body rub. She responded, `` Well, I am adamant, so I do n't recall you can change my nous, although you may be able to seduce my mind. Strong, masculine hands on my soft, middling dead body is so enticing and intoxicating. I could use a soundbox rub ... I have been working really hard on my dissertation and am quite fatigued. I wish I could come. : ( I am just very serious about respecting other cleaning lady and their human relationship, even if I do n't have intercourse them. ``

The additional detail in her short letter revealed a deepening curiosity. Expecting nothing more than than e-mails - which I knew would end if I offended her or she simply lost interestingness - I pressed on just for fun. Plus, because I live my employment living at a keyboard creating chronicle for a living, it was a welcomed distraction from my even life-time, and offered hope for the ceaseless hollow I felt in my spunk about longing to be with a cleaning woman who wanted to be with me ( the reason I did n't just charter a shout young lady ).

Soon we exchanged photos. I knew she was in college ( the dissertation tipped me off ), so when she saw the tangible 50-something me, I figured it 'd be over. It wasn't.

She wrote, `` I really feel accommodate to say that if you are really trying to get me to fit then you will not succeed. I just do n't want you to knock off your time. I really do think it is wrong to be with someone who is married or in a relationship, and I am very scrupulous about that.

'' But I do really wish your photos though. You look smarting and good-looking in the best way possible. You are definitely a adept bit sr. than me but very much my character physically speaking with your hair's-breadth and pelt. You 're lovely. I love it. : ) Very sexy. And seeing your strong hands makes me want you to give me a thigh massage.

'' As for me, I am 22. I am writing my undergraduate, senior thesis on The Plague by Albert Albert Camus. I am single. I love oral communication, especially Latin and Ancient Greek. I spent a month in Italy end summer ; I love to travel. I enjoy baking dough. I love the symphony and the opera. And I love to eat. : )

'' What do you recollect of my pic ? ``

Oh my. What did I cogitate ? I was looking at a college girl who was flirting with me ! My feelings raced from disbelief to being flattered, excited, enchanted and seriously aroused.

Madison exuded the girl-next-door flavor with medium brown hair that hung past her shoulders. Even though the photo was not at all revealing, she had beautiful womanly curves. reckon a classic Rubenesque model minus 20 Sudanese pound and you 're picturing Madison. Her froth eyes and welcoming smile were simply, well, just pretty. Melt-me cute. And pure.

Of course of action, she was not completely saturated. Like me, like everyone who pursues what they need but ca n't find through formula channels, President Madison was n't totally innocent. Like me, she had started down a shadowy path of her own. Fortunately, somehow we 'd met.

My business plans put me in the Southern city near her college in the dead of winter. Our e-mails took on an importunity because the opportunity to contact was ours to miss. I suggested deep brown. Her response revealed a hungriness. `` Of course, I am rummy about what it would be like to be with you. I ca n't say that I was n't fantasizing a little in my cockcrow class about your hands on my thighs. Honestly, I wish I could go with you to dinner tonight, but I do n't have a way to get there. It has been about a yr since I have been with a man who knew something about build up and prolong passion. It is something I love and something that takes me to ecstasy, and something about which many men know practically goose egg. I would be intimate a buildup of vividness tonight.

'' If I went even to dinner with you, I think that I would want you to produce at to the lowest degree a niggling erotic love to me, but since I wo n't let that happen since you are attached, it would just be torture for me. I ca n't stop wishing you were single ! But I just ca n't go against my conscience. I want buss on my neck and ear. I dislike this inner struggle. : ( ``

Driven by the deepest need to meet my heart, I rationalized the situation in a bank bill back to her, `` To put things into perspective, you 'll likely do spoiled thing in your life story than see me. At least if you see me, there 's a terrific upside. Some things are worth it. The realness of how I could make you finger : Worth it. The memories of what we 've shared. Worth it. The risky venture. Worth it. ``

I did not tell her that for me, the rendezvous would renew my military posture to remain in my outwardly perfective marriage that was otherwise killing me ... slowly sucking the passion and vim from my mortal due to my wife 's emotional and forcible disinterest. Being with Madison took on spear carrier urgency as I realized she could be so deeply important to me at a level she could n't possibly understand.

James Madison resisted and resisted until she did n't. Dozens of e-mails tracked the moral battle. Either of us could have walked away. Neither did.

We 'd agreed to satisfy at a vino bar for dinner. I got there a bit early and ordered a Riesling. Then a second. I 'd positioned myself in the very back of the eating house, faced so I could see the threshold. Madison arrived. She was prettier than her pic, and I had n't realized how tall she was, at least 5'8 ''. She did n't see me, so I stood up and walked to recognize her. We paused for a moment, eye to eye, my hands in front man of me to gently welcome her by taking her 's and leading her to our table. It was going to be a nice evening.

Still to this bit I ca n't recall the apparel she was wearing, except that had a modestly deep neckline with a lace up feature article. I did my ripe to keep my heart on hers, but her ample breasts made for the most beautiful cleavage.

We talked for a piece, noshed on some peachy food, drank a slight ( more ) wine, and then James Madison announced she needed to go. It was n't late, but I knew she was working on her thesis, and I did n't need to impinge on her studies.

Being that it was truly freezing out ( below 32° ), I asked if she 'd creative thinker driving me back to my hotel. She agreed. As we walked to her car, she sheepishly admitted she 'd forgotten where she parked. Then she realized she did n't have Johnny Cash to pay the parking fee. I found this so charming and innocent.

Perhaps as a life metaphor regarding demand, as we were walking, she shivered. I put my arm around her and turned up the collar on her wool coat. She 'd never known you could do that ! I guess when Georgia is your home base, what comes naturally to those who grew up in the stock-still Mid-West would n't be indorsement nature. Then she slipped on some ice. I instinctively caught her. That moment it was President Madison who melted a slight. I kept her warm and dependable that walk.

The dinner and walk surprisingly revealed, that despite our age conflict, we clicked. Our personalities and deep-seated need meshed in a way I still do n't interpret. This young woman with whom I was walking was so vernal, pretty, voguish and vivacious that I did n't desire her to go. I told her I 'd like some desert. She coyly asked, `` What are you hungry for ? '' Chocolate was the only seize verbal answer, although my heart said otherwise. I casually noted, as if by coincidence, that I had benighted cocoa in my way. As we pulled into my hotel, she was the one to suggest that she 'd care to derive up.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Never in a million years.

As for what happened succeeding, Madison 's journal entry puts it in her Good Book. She sent the words below in an email. This is what she wrote in her diary. The action at law picks up after she gets into her friend 's borrowed car and drives away from the university :

'' honey Journal, I decided to go and cope with him. The tenseness within myself was too great for me to bear, so I had to go. I think our e-mail exchanges made confluence that much more exciting. I did not put much care into my underthings when getting ready as I had no idea of what was to total. But I put on my royal blue silk dress. It is one of my best-loved frock. It is a soft, ok 100 % silk dress and it makes men want to put their implements of war around me. It is delightfully and teasingly low cut although it shows but a glimpse of cleavage. It is a very classy dress. It ties above the knocker ; I like to fancy that when men see it they just want to untie it and commence kissing me. I curled my hair and put on clean makeup as well as my rose oil perfume. In my very humble but very accurate vox populi, I looked lovely.

'' I drove to the metropolis, and I felt a little unquiet as I walked to establishment. It turned out to be the perfect topographic point for our rendezvous. I like to imagine how we looked that evening, all dressed up and entire of desire. I walked in, and I did not see anyone. I thought he would be sitting next to the threshold watching for me. I felt a small pang of discouragement as I looked about and did not see him. But after a few sec, he stood up and I caught sight of him. He was sitting in the back ; I walked to him, and the moment I saw him I knew it was going to be a pin-up, amorous even. the great unwashed most often look more attractive in video than in real number life. But it was the opponent with him. He was so handsome. He was definitely quite a bit former than I was, but the age remainder did not finger too pronounced. I felt that we were on the same wavelength. I wonder what were his persuasion when he first saw me. He wears glasses. I love glasses on a man. He was wearing a sweater that looked to be very soft and a silk tie. He has very good taste and seemed young at heart. When I approached him, he welcomed me with an embrace and kissed me on the impertinence. My heart began to waver and to melt a little. It was so romantic and made me experience so womanly. I wish I could bear played that scene again and again. I loved him kissing me on the cheek upon meeting me. He is such a romantic, gentlemanly man. He helped me out of my coat and pulled out my chair for me to sit down. He is absolutely my type physically and intellectually. I loved his voice and his flair of dress. I loved his penchant in food.

'' He sat down, and we conversed a trivial before the waitress came over. I ordered a Pinor Noir ; he already had his wine-colored. I was storm that he preferred clean wine. With his romantic, sensual personality, I would have thought that he would prefer a dark, sultry red. One affair that I found irresistibly attractive about him was his vocabulary. Most men ( indeed most modern multitude ) have a very define vocabulary, because people do n't learn much and stead sentinel garish tv. I have a fairly talkative vocabulary because I study Romance and Greek and because I read a lot. But I love that he used words like `` glaring '' and `` bucolic. '' I thought it was very sexy.

'' We had a most pleasant conversation. We talked about traveling. I talked about my schoolhouse and work, and he told me about his oeuvre. The tension between us was tangible. I loved it. I caught him looking at my breasts twice, and it made my heart beat a little faster. But he did not look at them in a crass way but rather in an look up to way. I wondered what he was thinking when he looked. Was he wondering how easygoing but business firm they would sense under his touch ? Was he wanting to snog them softly ? Was he wondering what my nipple looked like ?

'' The ambiance of the restaurant was perfect. I have only been capable to drink legally for a little over a year, so I still feel the knickknack of meeting someone for a glass of wine-coloured. It was pleasantly dim inside and the music was perfect. Norah Jones and hotdog Sinatra were playing as well as early such artist. I just get it on the tautness between man and womanhood. I knew that both of us were good of desire but I love the tension before the desire is played out. I knew that he was pursuing me, and I loved it. I loved how quixotic he was. He had a fantastic smile too ; it was very contagious. Oh and his hands. His mitt were incredibly sexy. I do n't know why, but I could not stop looking at them. They were so sexy. They looked so strong. I kept trying to keep myself from imagining them massaging my breasts and kneading my second joint. Them sliding up my inner second joint and spreading my pegleg apart. Imagining his fingerbreadth sliding into the dark wetness of my prime ... His workforce were intoxicating. It did n't help when he got up to use the public toilet and as he walked behind me he put his powerful hand on my upper right arm. My heart fluttered, and I reveled in the sweet spirit of desire and rousing that was blossoming inside me. I knew he was trying me to see what would happen, and I soaked up every second of it. I kept thinking about that simple hint. When he came back, he pulled his hot seat closer to mine, and I felt the effect of that between my legs. Our faces got quite close at times. I ca n't say that I did n't imagine his lips on the brim of my efflorescence and his mouth enclosing my teat inside it.

'' He said, `` How does it feel to stimulate someone sitting so close to you who wants to make have sex to you ? '' I said something to the result that it happens not infrequently. He said he was not surprise. He stopped a little a one stop and said something quietly. I asked him to repeat himself, and he said, `` You 're just so pretty. '' I felt a little bashful at such open admiration, but I also felt so attractive under his gaze. Another time, after I caught him casting a furtive glimpse at my breast, he said it again. `` You 're just so pretty. '' I loved that unscathed dinner. It felt so sensual and romanticistic. He kept looking at me with such depth in his eyes. He would gaze at me for quite a hanker fourth dimension, and I would experience a little shy.

'' But my thoughts were not just sexual to be sure. I loved the Romance of it. I loved how healthy and well-traveled he was. And he paid for the repast which is very attractive. I had the urge to put my hand on the tabular array and let him hold it and stroke it, but I resisted the urge. He definitely was very attractive to me intellectually. He seemed to hold knowledge in a wide-cut change of areas. I just felt drawn to him like a attractor. I tried not to usher it of trend. I wanted him to follow up on, not me. He looked at me in a very attracted and look up to mode. I am certain that I blushed a picayune at least. Oh his script. I kept thinking about him slipping his arm around my waist. And about his manpower going dangerously low.

'' When we stood up, he helped me into my coat and after it was on, he put his hands on my waist and again I felt a warm, familiar curling sentiency between my legs. We walked out ; I even love even the way he walks with so often confidence. We got out and it was so cold. But I love it being frigidity because it is so romanticist. it makes one want to nuzzle up. And it gave me a everlasting excuse for me to put my arm in his. I was delighted to be so ending to him. He was certainly laughing at me a footling because I could n't remember where I parked, and I had never heard of putting your arrest up to keep your neck warm. But I did n't mind it because I knew that he knew I was intelligent. I loved it when he stopped to put my neckband up because his aphrodisiacal custody were on me a little.

'' I very much enjoyed the frigid walk back. We walked to the little natural spring waterfall. I took his mitt and stepped over to the steps nearer the fountain. His hired hand are very impregnable. I imagine them pinning my munition over my head and kissing me. Holding me down and making me yield to pleasure. I wanted a kiss near the fount but it was much too soon. I loved snuggling up to him on the walk. His arm around me or holding my hand.

'' And then he said he had burnt umber in the way, and I made the black trace of going to eat drinking chocolate in the room. I drove to the hotel, and he was very gentlemanly, opening all the doorway. It made me feel very womanly. We got in the room and I flopped onto the bed. Later I discovered that such a careless move made him want to piss love to me. ``

An aside here : The honest-to-god one gets, if they bother to observe how untried citizenry move, they 're much More bouncy than adults. Imagine a group of school day girls talking excitedly in a school hallway, and you 'll get the estimate. So Maddison walks into the elbow room and on her way toward the window, she bounces on the bed. It was so cunning and inadvertently sexy that I muttered to myself, `` I 'm a dead man. I ca n't believe this is happening. ''

Madison 's journal entry continued, `` Under the guise of going to look at the Charlotte eyeshot, I walked over to the window, and he came up behind me. Just his closeness made my core vanquish very fast. He stood behind me and ran his fingertips on my speed arms. My upper arms are a very erogenous component of my body, perhaps because they are so close to my breasts. I loved it. I was becoming so stimulate. He started massaging my backbone. His strong helping hand massaging my back made my stifle fallible, and so I went over to the bed.

'' What happened next is a scrumptious blur in my head, but many things stand out distinctly in my mind. He leaned a little on the prevalent side which I loved. He was certainly romancing me, making erotic love to me. His handwriting were intoxicating. I loved him kissing my neck and my arms. I ca n't remember what order things happened in, but I will recollect all that I can. My will was wavering very much. When I first sat down, he started rubbing my second joint. I loved it. Watching his script rub my thigh was foolhardy indeed. He was arousing me so much. He took off his sweater at one point and started unbuttoning his shirt, but I took over and finished unbuttoning it. I liked his chest. I liked running my hand over it and sliding my script on his lower stomach and a little under his pants. Finally, he took off his gasp. And there was his cock in all its inclemency. So sexual. I took it in my hands. I touched it and played with his Lucille Ball. I really liked his balls ; it was very pleasurable to me to give him such pleasure.

'' One of my favorite portion was when he started kissing my bosom. My dress and bra were still on. But I loved it when he untied the tie on my apparel. And opened me up. Exposing my cleaving to his visual sense and touch. I am pretty sure that I cried out loudly when his mouth and script came in striking with my breasts. I pushed him away, but he kept on kissing and touching. Finally, I took off my bra and unzipped my dress. He pulled my dress over and exposed my breast. I felt myself going unwarranted knowing that he was gazing upon it. He kissed it, and he made me drunk. The feel of his tongue on my bosom, his fingertips. I loved watching it all ; I can never receive enough of it. I am a very visual someone. I love watching everything he does to me. The sight is inebriating. I took off my dress, and I love what he did. He stopped what he was doing for a arcsecond, and he looked me in the eye and said, `` You are beautiful. '' And then he returned to my breast. It felt like he could n't restrain his hired hand off my nipples. He was driving me to ecstasy. He would wet his fingers on his glossa and child's play with my breasts in a fashion that would push me wild. He would rip my tit. And I loved that he was rough with them. I love it that he was not restraining himself. I remember very vividly once when he was licking my right chest. I could see his tongue running around my tit and licking my nipple. It was so sexy. I wanted that tongue on my flower.

'' I wanted him to pin me down so I wove his finger in mine and made him pin my branch above my head. My flower was soaking. He sat on me and played with my teat. I loved it. And I loved seeing his cock so close to my facial expression. I think I sucked on his digit a little, then he slide his rooster in my waiting mouth, and I loved it. This is all a fuzz because it was so gratifying. I wanted him to f @ # $ my sass. It was amazing. I loved him being above me and putting his tool in my mouth.

'' I loved touching him to make him cum. It was so sexual ! I loved seeing his face while I was pleasuring him. The height of joy was when he first touched me. I made him wait quite for a while and construct up to it. He kept touching my thigh, my inner thigh, and my ass and getting so close to my heyday. I kept moving his hired hand and pushing him away. I love resisting a man 's onward motion and making him try for it and overcome me. It is so arousing to me. I think I was getting very vocal. ``

Another aside here : capital of Wisconsin moaned so loudly that I was afraid a guest in an next elbow room would hollo security measure. I whispered in her ear to quiesce down, and was surprised at the beautiful agony she expended keeping her moans suppressed. Her love was so obvious and earnest. Pure Adam in action. goose egg faked or put on.

The diary then chronicled, `` He kept getting so close to touching me and I kept moving his hand. Finally he pulled me on top of him. My wooden leg were spread apart on either position of him. He put his hands on my ass and pulled my ass wide apart. I was squirming I 'm sure. He got really close and then finally plunged a finger into my heyday. I felt like screaming. So lots pleasure ! And I ca n't even begin to say how much I loved him touching my ass. Some men do n't relish that, and I am so sword lily that he does. He ran his finger's breadth around my ass almost like he was rimming me but with his finger instead of his lingua. Then he laid me down with my back on the bed and started playing more with my efflorescence. He groaned and said how beneficial I felt. I felt his finger wandering around my brim. I wish he could have looked at my flower in the lamp light. It is so sexy. I wonder if he liked my sassing, although I am not sure if he got much of a secure look at them. My plump, juicy flower backtalk are my favorite erotic feature on myself. I wish I had not been on my period. I wanted him to suck on my lips so badly. Finally he sat up and allude me to ne plus ultra. He put a finger's breadth ( or maybe two ? I 'm not sure as shooting. ) in my blossom and he put a finger in my ass, deep in my ass. He pushed me to the edge of ecstasy. My front-runner thing of all is being fingered in the ass and blossom at the Saami time. I love it. I did n't desire it to end, although he was being a small too pugnacious since I had n't been touched for several calendar month. One of the most pleasurable moment was when I slowly pulled his digit out of my ass. That felt incredible. Feeling it slowly slide out of my ass. I wish I had been on my bridge player and stifle for him to finger my ass. But it felt amazing as it was. I think I came, although the orgasm was n't very vivid. I wish I had not started my point, so I could have relaxed and enjoyed it completely.

'' I just loved the way he was sexually. A little prevalent. The perfect amount. Admiring and quixotic and not crass at all. Sexy and so intimate. Oh and I wished I could have brought him to orgasm orally. I deep throated him a picayune and loved it. I wonder if he liked it much. He was n't very song, so I could n't separate which things he especially liked. I wanted to lick his egg, but I did n't. Perhaps I should have.

'' We held and cuddled afterwards. I loved it. And I loved that he kissed so many parts of my body : my tum, arms, neck. I wanted him to kiss, lick, and puff on my right ear more. The unhurt night was delicious. The way he looked at me made me feel so feminine. If I had known this was going to happen I would take worn pretty underwear and shaved my legs and trimmed my hair. I hope he liked my flower. I felt rummy from pleasure.

'' But I want so much more. I want to deep throat him more. I want him to smack me. I want the build up to postulate even longer. I want him to hold me more. If I see him again, it is not going to be any easier for him. I want to resist just as a great deal and make him try for me. He has to surmount me to get to my breasts and flower. I just be intimate the interplay of the masculine and the feminine, and he is so just at evoking the intuitive feeling of contrast between man and cleaning lady. That is what love affair is. I want his strong hands to lie me down on the bed and slowly spread my legs apart and then tease me. Run his fingertips around the outline of my underwear. Breathe strong breathing time on my flower through my underclothes. Pull my underwear to the side and gaze upon my prime. suggestion around my bloom with his fingertip but pick out so long to tinge it to drive me wild from desire. I want prolong teasing.

'' The first prison term he saw my breast, I felt so womanly. I want to know what he was thinking at each division. I want to know what he thought when his turncock was in my throat. He told me what he thought of my knocker : that Grecians must have used a simulation like me in sculpting their statues. He is so romantic and so masculine. I love it. I want to bed if he really saw my ass. It is so sexy and full-of-the-moon and rhythm. I want to get laid how much he wanted to osculate me at dinner. I want to make love what he thought when he first laid eyes on me. I want to know what he thought when he caught a glimpse of my segmentation. I want to know what he thought of my soft peel. I want to know all his opinion about everything in the even. I want to roll in the hay every dimension of his desire for me. I want him to see the fullness of my ass and hips, to admire me more in all my alluring femininity.

'' There is so much more. I feel like I am just scratching the surface. I ca n't avail but wonder if he has many experiences like this in his business locomotion. Maybe I am but one of many lovers he encounters often in his change of location. Ah well. One can never be intimate. He is good-looking, classy, and amatory, so I would not be surprised if many women fell for him and want him.

'' Oh well. I want him, and had him, tonight. ``

And Madison did have me that Nox ... and in my memory, many More Night after that.

While it might look strange, we never had social intercourse. She was saving herself for her hubby, whomever that lucky man would plow out to be. And honestly, I did n't miss it for a minute. It was the most businesslike and erotic encounter I 've ever had. It just proves that it 's not what you do, but whom you do it with, that affair most.

Madison and I would see each other two more than fourth dimension before she graduated and began traveling abroad. The next times were more intense and physical, involving piles of oral sex, deep throating, 69ing, and anal retentive experiment. After one particularly exhausting rhythm of culmination, she snuggled against me and fell asleep with her head on my dresser. While I was n't catching her from a eluding on the ice, I was providing a soft and condom landing for this curious and aphrodisiac young woman.

During the terminal two encounters, she liked me being the polite aggressor, and there would be no question as to whether she orgasmed. I always knew when I 'd succeeded because she 'd literally see quakes through her toned quadruplet that would flitter and spasm for second afterwards. I 'd utilise the one-in-ass-two-in-the-pussy technique multiple times, and often while sucking her respectable labia. And that ass ; oh my gosh. A perfect puckered knock penny-sized dickhead that begged to be rimmed, licked and penetrated. Every parting of Madison was just so hoot fetching.

A part of me fell in beloved with this Loretta Young fair sex, but my dedication to my family prevented me from acting on any of the fantasies I created, including paying for Madison 's post-graduate work in my home city so I could see her more often.

As it became exonerate that we would not belike see each other again, our e-mails became more infrequent. Every so often I 'd get a missive like, `` I want your tongue so badly. Your clapper is unbelievable. Magical. I want you to make my thighs tremble. I want to be really f # @ % ed in the ass too. Make me scream ! '' My all-time favorite was, `` You have no melodic theme how barbarian I am feeling ! I want you to transport my soundbox right now ! I would lick your ass for an hr right now if we were together. I think the more prevalent you are, the more run I would be to require to lick ass ... hold me down, put your cock down my throat, maybe even tie me up a bit. I want you dreadfully ! ``

President Madison ended up settling permanently in Eastern Europe. She teaches there now. As often as I fantasized about seeing her again and trying to imagine a future with her, there was none that I could make a reality. We both needed to move on. We had no future that I could create genuine. I let go.

It 's been a few yr since I received an e-mail from Madison. Perhaps thinking about her own need for redemption, that last e-mail was sent on Easter.

The notation included one of the tolerant things anyone has ever written to me. She knew that I struggled with why she was attracted to me. I kept asking myself, `` Why me ? '' My cerebration were that perhaps I was some kind of loving paternal design ? Rather forcefully, she corrected me, `` I was not attracted to because you were honest-to-goodness. I was attracted to you, and you happened to be sometime. That 's all. ``

As I read that, the hole in my nerve shrank a trivial, and my need to run to the shadows lessened for a sentence.

Sometime my mind admiration if we 'll ever cross route again. Will the desires that first drove us into the tincture ever bring us back together, even years from now ? To this day, whenever I make a connectedness through the Atlanta airport - Madison 's home town - I catch myself mentation of her.

Author 's note : I welcome notes from women about this tale, either publicly or via the notation option. Chicago440 on the three-lettered chat system that begins and ends with the `` k '' sound and has an eye in the middle .