Chapter 1 :

The summer I turned twelve years old, affair started to change. I was always `` more developed '' than early girls my age, and had a sensation of maturity not often seen in pre-pubescents. I only began to detect how older Male looked at me when my uncle drooled over his beer as I exited the kitty with my brothers. His sneer caught me off guard, made me awkward and sick to my stomach. life sentence continued, day to day, but I felt him getting nearer and nearer as time wore on. He partied at the house every weekend with my dad, he began to stay over nights, and then demanded I bring him a towel into the rain shower. These low instance began to roll up doubtfulness in my mind. Eventually the tension between us culminated when my parents left us with him for the weekend. When night came, and the house was tranquilize, he made a beeline to my room, I could try his drunk shuffle outside my door and I knew what was coming. The number 1 ravishment was the most painful, I cried the sleep of the Nox and into the morning. He took me over and over again in that 1st time of day. His decoration pressed hard against my sassing. His belt buckle left welts that did n't fade for days and the contusion on my inner thighs kept me from my horse back riding. The succeeding weeks until school began were my worst. I told no one and suffered through the encounters with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving nothing behind, none of my person, no entirely part of my body unaffected. I think this is the point in my living where I became hardened against the man and it 's expectation. The dark relationship with my uncle continued until I was xvi, when I began to fight back. I would fight, the beatings would get uncollectible. But when I fought back, I became turn on. My slit started to dribble then minute I slid away from him and made him pull me back to him. I kicked him and made my own back arch from the excitement. When he slapped my boldness in punishment and called me a little slut, my nipple hardened. I bit his finger extremely hard and he punched my humble back as he continued to thrust into my unwilling vagina. The moment his fist impacted with my back I came with victory. My number 1 climax was raving mad and filled with unconstraint of a tortured person released.He twisted my head around and with flavour of utter disgust, hurled me onto my bed and left the elbow room. I lay there, spilling my meat onto the bed with my body shaking and desperately wanting to start out again, to palpate the annoyance and that pleasure simultaneously. I believe my uncle noticed the change in me, and when he realized he was in fact pleasing me instead of hurting me, he stopped. For him, the erotic feeling stemmed from taking and not giving. My nature had been corrupted and by railing against him, I found my own pleasure. Many will deem this story pale beyond the most twine angle, but I am determined that I am not insane, just `` dirty '' or `` tainted '' by the creation 's banner. It was a relief when his rapes ended, but he left a black chump on me that will never pass. I have an insatiate desire for men ten to twenty twelvemonth my aged, and fighting against the man fucking me roughly and harshly is the best height I can reach. I want aught more, at this stage in my life than to be degraded as used as my dominant partner plea. The outside of me is very dominant. I am a soph in college, an award student, a published poet. I am five foundation eleven in tall and a formidable human body to men my age. The sexual me is a submissive kitten that has to be taught repeatedly what she can and can not do. I thrive on pleasing my rife and outlast on the sexual system of rewards and punishments. At xvi, I was just beginning to comprehend my intimate power. When I first liberated myself from my abusive uncle, I thought I was actually sexually dominant. It would be over five eld later that I learned I was, in fact, a submissive. Up until that moment I had convinced myself I let those men do as they pleased. A dear friend taught me that I needed those men to do as they pleased, in order for myself to reach utter satisfaction, heaven, and truthful intimate pleasure. I began as a rape grammatical case, a victim, a girl. Though I consider myself still developing in my sexual endeavors, I have learned much, and I hope to percentage all my sexual exploit, in wet, sweaty, dirty, gritty point. I want to spread the knowledge that you are not alone in your submissive ( to the extreme lifestyle ). You are, in fact, most likely in a majority. All right women want to be taken, dismantled, examined, and used for ultimate pleasance, they just are n't willing to take on it. I loved not being in mission, being perfectly lain to waste and I adored listening to the men as they finished with me and told me no woman had let them do what I had let them do. I have fulfilled fantasies, I have dreamed dreams and then lived those dreams. If you are in the bus that I am going to hell in, perhaps you will quell tuned to hear of how my effort so began and how I came to be writing this story, at the request of my most recent and most satisfying dominant .