Back in the 18th century a humble Sir Frederick Handley Page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this heterosexual person. You say Prince Charming wants a gold dildo, 10 centimeter in girth and 40 centimeters in distance and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jewelry maker and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"Well we're right out of stock at present squire,"the jeweller admitted,"We got ivory and glass, tan even, but atomic number 79 with diamonds, well sorry squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have got you killed if you will not add one,"Buttoni suggested.

"Fair enough, how does Th sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a mould squire, can't just rain cats and dogs molten gold down some poor Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, health and safety device see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweler and not the settlement idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, last year I come one-third in the village idiot contest, but I'm training hard for next year."

The jeweler knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a ground example. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's enjoy bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent grass as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the dame loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your schoolmaster to fare so I can produce a moulding ?"the jeweler asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good ice one for twenty five Dutch florin,"the jeweler offered,"The slipper we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The glass slipper."

"Why so tatty ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second hired man, was the wife's mothers, twat like a pail, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the castle. He liked his job as Thomas Nelson Page but he was not too keen on masses thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a talent for saying the untimely thing and when the prison term came either he couldn't get it up or he got too worked up and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a cyprian was generally considered to be a bad relocation for the royal stag home PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this time ? Invade Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, off a firedrake ?"

"A clod !"Buttoni cried,"grip a musket ball !"

"baseball, tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a saltation, a big dance, a masked ball, ask over all the eligible skirt,"Buttoni suggested.

"female parent tried that,"Charming call back,"I spent the evening concealing in the loo !"

"But this fourth dimension we say you met your on-key love and she left a making love token and you have to find oneself her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of souvenir ?"Charming asked.

"Her glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"feel !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a large nursing bottle of schnaps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the freak,"Wow, can you envisage those fuck up pampered simpering frigid bitches female parent attempt to palm me off with with that monster inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to line up his pants as his dick swelled at the thinking of it."And struggling to get the monster inside their sloshed garden pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hirsute ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"Methedrine Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can forget about having a ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked Ball !"

"And you'll marry the missy it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"highschool five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my true love at the masked ball and she lost her Glass carpet slipper,"Charming explained to his female parent and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money father not capital letter account,"Charming lied.

"majuscule, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a little ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the local liberal ads intelligence sail and opened a minuscule shop on Munchen street with a waiting orbit and a cell with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a bucolic's duster, though the thigh length opprobrious leather boots with gold warp sort of gave the game away.

"Hello, I think I might be the girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's formation stated boldly.

"Indeed, issue forth through. I am Buttoni valet de chambre to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my dear ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody sophisticate !"Helga cried,"I thought you imply a brake shoe !"and she slapped him round the facial expression and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should feature slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong tacking ?"

Just then a beautiful young girl stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the skidder on ? '' she asked,"Only momma sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did enquire where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my safe friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the female child admitted.

"Your estimable friend ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at shoal, and a bed on frigid nights."the fille explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maiden Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unfirm on his infantry, a lineage vessel in his os frontale pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the girl asked.

"He has just cum in his pants,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't thing I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a dullard disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't fancy men, he doesn't illusion women, sounds arrant !"the girl explained,"And with a dainty big dildo to play with even better."

"Well then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you guess of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's huge !"

Her oculus were encompassing with rapacity as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo often nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth !"

She looked turn,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at to the lowest degree lock the doorway first."

And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her voluminous skirt and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to watch ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the female child tried to get a fingerbreadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something utilitarian then, can you give suck my bosom ?"she asked as she undid the drubbing on her bodice to let on her telling boobies.

Buttoni bent to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the girl and began to breastfeed her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo serious !"she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three finger's breadth,"she said,"Keep on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four fingers slipped inside her, then the unit of her midget bridge player as she fisted herself.

The missy gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a bigger deal than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her bitch but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to take her clenched fist the dildo was much too broad to go more than 3 centimetre inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you feature any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would avail ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."service yourself."

The girl looked at Charming's long pinko pole. A small drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The girl smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, stretch your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, look I'll appearance you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his stopcock until he finally found her cunt.

His dick slipped easily into her velvety kidnapping. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the girlfriend complained,"Shoot your load and let your Thomas Nelson Page have a go !"

"Be quieten I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to delight it,"the girl complained,"Another ten minute of arc then all right ?"

Charming was not too for certain he could nurse on for ten minutes. The muckle of Bavaria swept through his judgement. He was an Eagle soaring above the roof tops. He was in paradise with the angels. He was swimming in the Rhine. He was cumming. A splendiferous torrent of cum burst from his putz and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of course of action it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my sexual morality to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of witnesses, I'm home free."

"What ? you wanted me to sleep together you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your stab please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the miss asked.

"Why to enlarge your snatch if you can't rent the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no matter what position she tried it in she could not drive it More than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no honest. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The girl quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweller body of work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One looking glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the estimate ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of twat to elongate ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to issue forth back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the young woman out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could need turns to take aim my place !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you rule these mass ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for tiffin mark up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few pints of schnaps for Prussian courageousness and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the mountain and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a unadulterated royal stag consistency safeguard for only a months pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal government activity fee for every girlfriend who tried the dildo and set up a cashbox on the store counter and a list of the scale of charges, including try twice get a tertiary try free !

Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the back way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the inflammation of watching young madam trying to squeeze a 400 millimeter dildo up their cunts pales after a while and within the month well-nigh of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as daughter after girl ruined their chastity trying to jazz a hunk of glass.

sweet hairless pinko cunts, big hairy slit, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy grow over Bush, some with nick from shaving. Shy youth little girl, raddled old beldame, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.

Finally the waiting line dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money.

The mogul was delighted, the queen exasperated and so life returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tuesday Thursday and Sabbatum and poking the cook most mornings.

The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a commotion at the castle gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring unveiling to an irate Whitney Young woman."Let me in !"a daughter screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the logic gate."That's him !"the girl howled.

"You're the young woman from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's speckless conception, of course it is !"she snapped.

"Fair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had respectable sports meeting mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the young woman to his mother's sitting room,"Ah female parent I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the female monarch asked.

"No idea,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my friends send for me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's laborious to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queer asked.

"well lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the child comes out there is little question the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the queen regnant asked.

"Its this big round,"the girl said as she described the size with her custody,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slut !"the queen regnant asked.

"She is disrespectful, headstrong, care adult female so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's ideal fairy material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and unbelievable to dog footmen do you ?"the fairy enquired.

"Well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah cinder, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a young woman and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ Fuck'in the palace dearest,"the queen explained,"We say ‘ Make dear'much less messy don't you think ? So, cinder, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the fille insisted,"I just want child support."

"wellspring I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and famish you until you're not pregnant any more. ``

"Oh well in that guinea pig,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to turn over it some severe thought."

"Actually it's my night for the house of ill repute, how about we get a return away knockwurst and stay in and see the retainer fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes dear excellent melodic theme !"the pansy agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The queen looked askance at the girl,"We will get the select away and watch the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a time ?"

"Men or girls ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, sawhorse, blackguard, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"good god girl half the missy in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny business,"the girl agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the girl insisted.

"Not fucking honey, making beloved, it sounds so very much nicer,"the queen regnant insisted.

"You liked it final time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a little girl,"she explained.

"Very exacting my Charming, a bath every Friday and clean and jerk underpants every workweek,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this famous dildo, it does sound rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

fountainhead the female child wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some angel to put up 1000 guilders for the 1st unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to take in. The jeweller never did get paid and the belittled dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married cinder's friend Charlotte after he had a bathtub, doused himself in Eau de Cologne and basically jumped her one dark. The queen had a replica glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his metre talking to his plant in the garden and meddling in politics like big businessman do.

And therein lies the moral of this narrative, if you want to rend, have a bath and wear unobjectionable underpants