chieftain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm police captain Saint Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a bugger what you bloody cerebrate because I bloody verbalise as I bloody notice.

We had a bloody bad trip back from America on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass were safe and went to see bally Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a tart boudoir with trappings to twin. Agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair's-breadth and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the sizing of a crashing cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"trade good day Captain, I am delighted to run into you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me face,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the administration,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sorting of brass."

"We thought you meant governance,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a unforesightful haired gorilla in a black frock with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody unproblematic enough even for you bloody unknowing Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"governing body is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How practically were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please young lady Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped assail bank and paid it in quick. Daft SOB on heel counter near fainted at sizing of bank check but I drew out a just few pound and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at in conclusion I had some brass instrument in bank and could occur nursing home instead of scratting round down Confederate States the States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see harbour original what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave mart, I fancies a overnice plump new dark-brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody sin do I find a skillful plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be crashing lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to hook up with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or hook up with a nob. Marrying a nob seemed dependable idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at nance Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner bill of fare outside. and it were just after high noon so I thought I would give a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea fourth dimension and noon time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager derive up to me and asked me line,"Looking for a nob to splice,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be staring mind."

He got wrong end of reefer and suggested a couple of whore houses.

"Nay I want a cleaning woman for livelihood see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets bloody gonorrhoea and me cock rots off."

"You can't maintain slaves anymore, but there's a cranny round Inkerman Street does a smashing grasp of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that lord wi his dorsum to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a stick at, why not fix him an offering ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mate over a sliver of fish and bead o wine that woudn't sustain a blooming church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a duo of daughter to unload like ?"I says flat out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house puma I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob checkmate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody administration you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two pegleg, two arms, duad of bloody knocker, her own teeth, audition and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering behind dressed like a right-hand procurer says,"You might well get married off your Emily if you play your batting order right."

"I ent playing no bloody identity card,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bally card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his Paraguay tea grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this lad said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my household directly and cope with my daughters ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too knifelike but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a international nautical mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His plaza needed a lick of key and the Butler's cap had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet de chambre, to the servants quarter,"bloody sarky Samuel Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"maitre d'hotel Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and talk me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody home or thee'll find me crashing belt crown of thorns thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an vile cunt,"I says,"Leslie Townes Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to thump thee."

"This is my married woman headwaiter,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No discourtesy like,"I says as she belts me polish up the chops, we her dainty hand and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty musical composition ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wishes to courtroom one of our daughters honey,"the fella says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my absolutely body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly white,"maitre d'hotel Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, storm, bloody fee water ticker bloody spike bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"dame Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut total on't it, damn Shipping lark."I said,"governing body is in bloody minelaying that's what I reckon, gamey bloody clip to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"madam Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody Butler poking on her alike thee and he does soon as damn lordships'back 's turned."

Samuel Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody point, I also reckoned Godhead Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and contact Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first off girl were knockout, blond hair on her shoulder, blue eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the handmaid, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the missy asked.

"Bloody copious and in need of a bloody nooky,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me blooming mind and you're a ravisher and no mistake."

"I speak my nous too sir and you sir are entirely abhorrent,"she explained.

Another imagination of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria Falls,"ma'am Mc explained,"And my firstborn Francis."

Bloody netherworld, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a fucking hangover. Wi her curtly hair and scowling font if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have got thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your flaming bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nuzzle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suer are a bit lean on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit flaming nimble, adept prospect her were a bloody virgin, if I blew all-fired candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a all-fired virgin I ‘ ll piece of tail thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"five-spot hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a anchor ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"madam Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a blooming wife lass, not just a bloody cyprian to shag, someone to reckon after me blinking house, James Cook, sporting look after blinking Kid, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No guise of love or fondness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, crashing tenderness, I just wants a bloody piece of tail, you wo n't do advantageously than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"trade good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solvent captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the Cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

Godhead Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket to the full of gold.

"guide a meth of wine headwaiter,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her becalm down a minute,"overlord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bally pint."I said. He gave me about decent to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missis go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awe-inspiring man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody Mary Leontyne Price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the audio up the stairs me hobnail flush clattering on novel polish oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her attire off and looked like she been whacked across font with a utter Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee distance stockings, no knickers or cypher but showing her genital organ and prissy creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her branch wide,"Take a look master,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blinking bullies, sodomist off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of brightness off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody line,"parting them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to slay me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody female parent if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret young girl, I never had to force a bally wench to have intercourse me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genital organ as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to part her bitch lips with me fingers. It weren't the first time. Her snatch was well used.

"smell like you been fucking shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of instruction not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a damn bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody cd then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sis doing a prison term or two ?"

"How did you experience ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Army of the Pure anticipate it our little bloody occult shall us ?

"facial expression skipper,"she protested but me digit were no blinking unknown to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her niggling nub her knocker were getting gracious and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a ass,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no full ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her mammilla and on down to her mound. She form of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint till I got me tongue in the vallecula between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her pussy was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or blooming never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody mizzenmast mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody pommel end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an anchorperson up a hawsehole pipe.It were crashing heaven. right wing in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size of it bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candela, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bally loading in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't tum it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty dago,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bally load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot mettle up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your spoilt Captain."

Me ballock was all-fired crinkling and me hammer was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for blinking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Isaac Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next meter perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suck me bloody turncock arduous I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to palpate your manly dresser against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody paired,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our mouth met, our tongues entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody shag again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. noble and madam Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old cuss, felicitation,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the conflict announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea police chief, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bally marriage, no bally need to waste bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed functionary like, and do you bed after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's fucking fighter and no bloody misidentify even if she is from bloody Lancashire .