As I visited with my cousin, a man as perverted as myself, he asked me,"What's the uncanny affair you ever had your dick stuck in ?"
Immediately, I remembered the incest with my sisters ; jacking off with a variety of things wrapped around my cock ; a twosome of goats, which fit my cock about the same as my pixilated cunt sister-in-law ; and…. The cantaloupe.

Leo already knew about the incest with Mae and Jody ... he was the one who started it all. We took play with Mae many times, but I don't she ever let Leo get into her panties. I got there… but that 's not what this narration is about.

As we grew up, Leo and I often compared the size of our growing putz, and would bear a airstream to see who could cum first when we 'd beat our centre. We'd try out jacking our gat with paradiddle of toilet newspaper ; with the composition board pith pulled out. credit card grip with lotion in them, then wrapped by a washcloth worked corking. There's no telling how many of our dads'condoms we slipped on to jack off ; and we always compared the results… but that 's not what this storey is about.

I did n't fuck the goats until after I was married, and tried it just for the underworld of it. I'd catch an opportunity when the Saint Bride would be gone shopping or to one of the kid's home and head for the goat shed. It did n't contract long to train Pearl and Polly to endure and eat from the feed bucketful while I used their lowly pussies for my pleasure. I don't keep my sexual experiences a occult from Leo, so he knows about the she-goat, too… but that 's not what this story is about.

Leo knows I 'm still pounding my sister-in-law 's snatch every prospect I get. She 's had all three of her kids by C-section ; so her pelvic arch has never been forced by delivering a child. Plus, she can run her wild slit muscles like virtually men have never experienced. She 14years younger than me and her married man is a shitty son-of-a-bitch. I really think she's in love life with me and would leave his no-good ass in a secondment, if I was free and available… but that 's not what this story is about, so ... ....

I began by telling Leo about my buddy, Paul….
We started the first score together and graduate side by slope. We both had senior brothers, so we weren't too surprised when we discovered how smashing it felt to jack off, and we did that ( position by side ) for eld. Who really knows ; if St. Paul was still animated, we may still be doing it together.
Alice Paul's dick was slimmer than mine and had a rebuff, upward curve. Mine was fatter, but about the same duration.

Somewhere along the dividing line, after Leo had explained the birds and bees to Mae and me, Paul and I made her trivial cunt the object of our pleasure. Eventually, big sis joined in, too.

During high schooling, both of us snagged girl that didn't hesitate to fuck ; quite often we would satisfy both tail end in Saul's old Ford with nude bodies, but they wouldn't work a swap with their goods. My Sharon was great, but I always wanted to treat Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie's pussy, too.

My car was too minuscule for the four of us, but Sharon learned how to fold up her skinny, trivial coffin nail and give me a wonderful blow job, when it was just the two of us.

Saul's mom moved to another townsfolk when we were in our senior year. His older brother, Jerry, had already worn out sentence in the Army and had his own apartment, so Paul moved in with him to fetch up his senior year. He remained there after graduation, until he and Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie got married.
Anyway, moving in with Hun had another definite advantage…It didn't take long to convince the young woman that a bed worked unspoiled than a car seat.

So it happened that our gals got summer jobs as advocate at a church inner circle about forty naut mi away from house. They were able to come home on weekends, but Krauthead and his girlfriend had the apartment, so Paul and I were banished on Saturday and William Ashley Sunday. Those seats in the old Ford Madox Ford got a good workout on Saturday nights and Sun afternoons.

Now, I'm not gon na say that we were entirely celibate while the girl were gone, but sometimes, good pussy with a trustworthy mouth was toilsome to find.
One evening during the week, Paul made a comment,"I'm so Goddamn horny I could fuck a watermelon."
I laughed, but got to thinking… all we had done for the last several months was fuck some real number pussycat,"You're one looney mother fucker, Paul. But let's go for a ride."

I knew of a magnanimous, commercial garden just outside of township. I stopped my VW mallet just long enough for us to parachute out and grab three cantaloupe vine, each. Paul wanted to make out why we were stealing the melons and I told him,"We got ta piece of tail something tonight."

We only took the two ripest ones ino the apartment. It would still be three or four time of day before Boche would get off work, so I took a knife and barely cut through the outer rind. When the 3inch circle came off, I plunged the knife into the essence and twisted it around, making a hole about a half column inch across. It was easily reamed out with my thumb, to the size of it hole my unvoiced tool would fit through.

Paul laughed as he watched, but when I pushed ol'Fat Boy through, and down into the warm seed pit, he started working on the former cantaloupe. Before long, both of us were acting like those two unproblematic school boys who used to enshroud behind the dumpster ; and see who could shoot our wad the highest.

It was sloppy and made a mess, but I finally emptied my encumbrance inside. Paul got so tickled that he couldn't dump his sperm cell in his melon vine, so he pulled his slimy rod out and finished by hand.
We were cleaning up the kitchen floor and about to moisten our cock and musket ball, when Paul burst with laughter,"I'm gon na peel this fuck cantaloupe, cut it up in chunks, and put it in the fridge. Kraut's been a son-of-a-bitch lately and he's gon na love eating what I just fucked."

well, we cleaned both of the fruits, put them in to cool, and left.
Sure enough, after we had our transonic burgers and fries, we went back to the apartment to obtain Jerry & his cocksucker buddy, Jacques Charles, watching TV and eating chilled cantaloupe.
We quickly said,"Hi,"and excused ourselves back outside… God it was funny.

To this day, anytime St. Paul and I get together, we have a big chortle about fucking Cucumis melo cantalupensis and feeding them to his brother.
He'll kill us if he ever finds out .