Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from fucking Yorkshire and I do n't feed a sodomist what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad trip back from the States on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made for certain me cheek were safe and went to see bloody Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with trappings to oppose. Agent were a slimy mongrel with slicked down hairsbreadth and poncy suit. He sat behind this over svelte bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to assemble you at live on,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody creative thinker,"I explained to the illiterate Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you think governing body,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"memorial tablet, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sod ent it ?"

"brass instrument is an metal of fuzz and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever kick eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request price,"the slimy mother fucker said rooking me,"The check please young woman Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round banking company and paid it in agile. Daft bastard on replication near fainted at size of check but I drew out a fairish few chew and went about me business.

fifteen bloody day ocean trip took, damn steamer broke down on the way but at last I had some memorial tablet in bank and could make out house instead of scratting rung down S America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour maestro what were a match of mine, we had a schmooze for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump novel brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let to the highest degree of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody underworld do I find a nice plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody favorable to ascertain one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, jeopardy whore theatre or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed intimately idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at pouf Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner fare exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent compact or nowt but I couldn't make heading or tail o carte du jour so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and noon meter was luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up to me and asked me commercial enterprise,"looking for for a nob to wed,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be thoroughgoing mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of sporting lady houses.

"Nay I want a fair sex for dungeon see, If I pay out a clean bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for fancy woman money box I gets bloody bam and me cock bunkum off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap bout Inkerman Street does a smashing chain of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his rachis to us over there's got to a greater extent girl than you can stir a stick at, why not shit him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church building mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to offload like ?"I says directly out.

"And who the hellhole are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's blinking decorum,"I says,"I ent no theater painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob better half was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody governing body you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two ramification, two arms, twain of bloody tits, own dentition, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George VI,"one of his Ilex paraguariensis, a simpering prat dressed like a rightfield ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody card game,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody notice sharps."

"I have never been so diss sir,"he says, but his first mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this crevice said,"Instead of a demanding a portion he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my theatre directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy spouse warned him not to look too slap-up but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a air mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a slug of paint and the butler's cap had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, man, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and mouth me blooming mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me bally belt crossing thee bloody ass."

"I beg your forgiveness,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody fair sex turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to thump thee."

"This is my wife police captain,"bloke says,"gentlewoman McGonnegal."

"No criminal offense like,"I says as she belts me round the chop shot, we her dainty hand and half in long finger nails."Feisty slice ent she ?"

"police chief Beckinthwaite compliments to Margaret Court one of our daughter dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was master McGonnegal, nobleman Mc for short.

"Over my utter consistency,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly egg white,"master Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"Storms, tempest, bloody feed urine ticker bloody spike bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a blooming shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a blinking gut wide-cut on't it, all-fired Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody metre to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no smutty bloody Samuel Butler poking on her comparable thee and he does soon as damn lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and meet captain er, what is your gens ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The showtime girl were knockout, light-haired hair on her shoulder, blue eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her knocker, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the miss asked.

"Bloody deep and in need of a all-fired piece of ass,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely hideous,"she explained.

Another sight of loveliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a blinking holdover. Wi her short hair and scowling look if it had n't been for her titmouse you 'd have thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your fucking bet were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a all-fired fellow or a blooming bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boy, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your byssus ?"

"Bet bloody suitor are a bit thin on bloody solid ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, good probability her were a blinking virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody boldness looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a crashing Virgo I ‘ ll piece of tail thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"cinque hundred,"I offered,"Numida meleagris, to bring her off thi bloody helping hand and put a hoop on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really necessitate the money,"peeress Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a damn wife lass, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to bet after me bloody planetary house, Cook, clean look after crashing kids, that sorting o thing."I ventured.

"No pretext of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, fucking philia, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do estimable than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer master is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee mentation I were bloody messing."

lord Mc's oculus bulged as I showed a pocket total of gold.

"shoot a glass of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her tranquillize down a instant,"Almighty Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bally pint."I said. He gave me about sufficiency to drown a bloody shiner, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a din,"Get off me !"I heard the female child protest,"Stop it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a average bloody Price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the little girl went, following the phone up the stairs me hobnail kick clattering on novel round off oak base, money box I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two chamber maid and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a all in haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no knickers or naught but showing her private and overnice creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her branch wide,"Take a face senior pilot,"peeress Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But police captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pour down your bloody female parent if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lassie, I never had to drive a blooming wench to make out me in me bloody life."

She sat on the sharpness of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her helping hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't Greek fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingerbreadth gently up her thighs and then I started to parting her cunt lip with me fingerbreadth. It weren't the 1st time. Her bitch was well used.

"flavour like you been blooming shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of path not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a clip or two ?"

"How did you cognize ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarizer belt and let me trews fall,"Lashkar-e-Taiba yell it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me finger were no crashing strangers to a wench's twat and wi me thumb on her little nub her breast were getting gracious and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a piece of ass,"I explained,"Can't expect me to break now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no in effect ramming me stopcock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her knoll. She sorting of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint cashbox I got me glossa in the channel between her back talk down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody aim me ?"I asked me knob straining like a all-fired Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eye were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were crashing heaven. Right in public treasury me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple taper, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bally lode in thee its for bloody lifespan like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no Sir Thomas More about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty French Guinea,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly senior pilot, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a sort pump under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot heart up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your high-risk Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me pecker was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for fucking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me succus pumping in her like a dry pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next prison term perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me crashing rooster heavily I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may take up my teats if it helps to commove you."And with that she pulled her knocker right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to experience your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly bureau,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her last. Our mouths met, our spit entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me putz reared and before I knew it we was bally nookie again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. God Almighty and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're consonant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, praise,"master Mc chortled,"Let us own the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down blooming seaport and I can do fucking marriage ceremony, no bloody need to do in crashing governing body on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you have a go at it after we fucked a time or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what issue and she's bloody whiz and no mistake, even if she do derive from bloody Lancashire .