For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a better version of myself. A hero to mortal, but every time I see danger or difficulty, I end up ... freezing. I guess the hero life history is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I daybook ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing poppycock at you like this, I 'm lamentable. My name is Leon, Leon Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a highschool starter. I love biz, comics, dancing, chocolate and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into sketch Italian sandwich at all ... but I just do it it. The stories, the Super family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So endearing ! Not many hoi polloi like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entry tonight is not for me to talk about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't remember when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and told me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even think I felt anything actually ... I got benumb and just ... kept on living. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents have intercourse me so much and that I do n't cognize anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything blackball towards them ... anyway, I go to school, I have a best acquaintance and lots of Quaker that take care of me because they say I 'm endearing. I guess that 's poise actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One affair about me that I find ... well, Wyrd is ... well ... I do n't even know why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't feel confortable in relationships.

I love how my friends like me and worry about me, I love my parents, but the mere view of having someone actually bed me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriend before, sooo let 's talking about that.

My first girl 's name was Eva. She was sweet, she was beautiful ... had these amber eyes and inkiness hairsbreadth ... She would always stick around me, said she 's protect me and my smile, and I said I 'd do the same for her ... turns out ... other mass feeling the Same as you can make lots of trouble. The fact that my friends all like me just as much made her feel ... unappreciated ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My second girl was called Lola, and she was awesome. Tough girl, yearn black hair and blue eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really baffling ... faithful to a real life heroine I could get together. One day, we were coming out of the movies when we were jumped by this guy with a knife ready to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And repent it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of paper, dunno if it was shock absorber or care but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm thankful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a dyad. standardised tastes, music and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reasonableness right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 days ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face slaps and I 'm prepare to mouth about the adjacent person ... the one I let loose all the meter. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were pocket-size. We always had fun together ... he is so polite and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't worry, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the same course of study, we like the Saame material and he 's really endure ... braw guy I 've ever known. He is my one lawful hero, and I ca n't assist but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my core skips a beat. I get unquiet, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to feel this way and have no idea what to do with this feeling ...

Ian is my comfortably Friend, always was. I feel ... Weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this time he got here, my parents were out and we played game all day, danced around like a bunch of Kid, sang together and even had pizza for dinner. It was one of the happiest mean solar day of my life. So chill, so good ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the same to him. He was the reason I even changed my mode !

I used to cause a mussy inglorious hairsbreadth, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your whisker ? blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his digit on my haircloth on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe lour it on the side a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never take care as cool off as Ian though. His hair is spiky John Brown, his eyes are the most beautiful nicety of green ... different dark glasses. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... understand it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolest thing ever !

Which brings me to the ... reason I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a heartbeat ... more like ... I want to be so a great deal close to him, not seeing him suffering ... and my champion seem to notice that I 'm unquiet when he is not around. They poke fun, good natured of course, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the only one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the Sami way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going weirdo ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll invite him over tomorrow ... try to babble about it ... I 'll be rest home alone, cracking chance. What could go wrong ?