sea captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bally Yorkshire and I do n't chip in a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody verbalise as I bloody find oneself.

We had a flaming bad trip back from U.S. on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made for certain me brass were safe and went to see flaming Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a lady of pleasure boudoir with furnishings to match. Agent were a slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a flaming cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day police chief, I am delighted to touch you at finale,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, piece of eight, that variety of brass."

"We thought you think governance,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a little hairy gorilla in a black attire with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"brass instrument, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy asshole said rooking me,"The cheque please girl Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped labialise banking concern and paid it in nimble. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at size of it of cheque but I drew out a bonnie few cud and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody day voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some cheek in coin bank and could derive home instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven master what were a teammate of mine, we had a Old World chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave grocery, I fancies a courteous plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a overnice plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be fucking golden to witness one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk cocotte house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poove Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu outside. and it were just after midday so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make school principal or bum o card so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and twelve noon clip was tiffin. Anyroad I had a feed.

manager fall up to me and asked me concern,"looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be virginal mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of whore theatre.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a reasonable bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for tarts boulder clay I gets bloody clap and me cock decomposition off."

"You can't keep hard worker anymore, but there's a fissure daily round Inkerman Street does a smashing kitchen stove of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his backrest to us over there's got more daughter than you can stir a stick at, why not make him an whirl ?"

I looked, some poncy old old codger talking to his match over a sliver of fish and drop o wine-coloured that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's ready to hand,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughter to offload like ?"I says unbent out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no menage Felis concolor I'm bloody police chief bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me blooming mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"feel if its bloody boldness you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgin, two peg, two arms, yoke of bloody mammilla, own tooth, listening and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his married person, a simpering can dressed like a good ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your lineup right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his better half grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my sign directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too not bad but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a slug of key and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servant after part,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the chap explained

"chieftain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me bloody judgement. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me flaming belt crossbreed thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning lady turns up,"By heck you're an despicable bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife master,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me labialize the chops, we her dainty hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty objet d'art ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughters high-priced,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Jehovah McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his nerve went a deadly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"tempest, tempest, bloody feed in water pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a damn gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody excavation that's what I reckon, eminent bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to courtyard my daughter ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no cruddy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'book binding 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit all-fired nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into living-room."young lady,"she says,"Come and meet captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first lady friend were knockout, blonde tomentum on her shoulder, amobarbital sodium eyes, foursquare rigged dress showcasing her pap, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody robust and in pauperization of a blinking screw,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody thinker and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my thinker too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another imaginativeness of beauteousness followed into the room,"Victoria,"dame Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody perdition, her were no oil house painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her unretentive hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a damn fellow

"Reet Francis, hedging your blooming stake were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"madam Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a blooming fellow or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord chieftain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an mollymawk nest in your face fungus ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no stake in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit blinking straightaway, unspoiled chance her were a bloody Virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her all-fired face looked like.

"well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a damn virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say sightly than that."

"maitre d'hotel !"Lord Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this demon for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a bloody whore to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, cook, clean look after all-fired Thomas Kid, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No guise of love or warmheartedness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody warmheartedness, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a damn gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solution master is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece of music ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought process I were bloody messing."

Jehovah Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a sac broad of gold.

"convey a field glass of wine master,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a import,"Almighty Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a crashing pint."I said. He gave me about sufficiency to drown a bloody computer mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a din,"Get off me !"I heard the girl objection,"Stop it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that dire man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody damage, what's damage wi her."

I stood up and went where the little girl went, following the audio up the stairs me hobnail bang clattering on new round oak base, money box I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two sleeping room maids and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her clothes off and looked like she been whacked across fount with a absolutely Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee distance stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her branch wide,"Take a looking Captain,"madam Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blinking bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But police captain,"Lady Mc replied but the spark of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody air,"leave of absence them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the room access shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to hale a bloody wench to fuck me in me crashing life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her bridge player away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't swither, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her second joint and then I started to part her twat lips with me finger's breadth. It weren't the first time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been flaming shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of line not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"wellspring your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody standard candle then has tha ? Like I caught me flaming sister doing a clock time or two ?"

"How did you screw ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarist belt and let me trews fall,"Lets call it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no bloody strangers to a dame's twat and wi me thumb on her little nub her nipple were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing big

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't require me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But master,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no right ramming me shaft at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She kind of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint till I got me lingua in the groove between her sass down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her twat was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or blooming never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody engage me ?"I asked me knob straining like a fucking mizen mast in me hand.

Her eye were like dish antenna, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody thickening end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody Hades size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek organization for the bloody nookie. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't breadbasket it say now and I'll shoot me blooming cargo over thee belly and say no to a greater extent about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"50 guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me all-fired lode over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrict yourself and I believe you have a form heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to charge a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me ball was bloody crinkling and me cock was blooming throbbing and suddenly it were too late for crashing pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant headwaiter,"she chuckled,"Next sentence perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a uncivilised boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bally tool gruelling I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may take in my pap if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her titmouse right out of her stays and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our spit entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your knife in their gob, so me rooster reared and before I knew it we was flaming shag again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. overlord and ma'am Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, praise,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us have the employment announced in Lancashire eventide post.

"bugger that I'm a crashing sea sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody haven and I can do all-fired marriage, no bloody need to waste blooming brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started smiling at me and her feel quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the visible light behind her. But at end of bally day its what they fucks like what matters and she's fucking champion and no fault, even if she do amount from blooming Lancashire .