Nozzer's First Gay Sex .
Anal, Gay, VirginityNozzer's foremost Gay sex.
It's humour not hard substance.
We was down the Flying sawhorse sinking a few bevvies. We'd been down the match looking for a few away supporter to remind them that their team may be right at kicking balls but we was sound at kicking ballock if you see what I mean.
Nozzer weren't on contour. He kept gasping for breath and perspiration and that. I figured he been on the curry again, anyway there we was sinking a few Frank Philip Stella's ( Artois ).
I got a round in, It was getting late, folk was leaving."Keep the variety,"I says.
"What change you owe another ten pound fifty dollar bill,"the know it all director shouts earning himself a near kicking the next dark rainy night.
I paid up, and staggered back to us table with nine dry pint and a packet of pork scratchings.
Sandra the barmaid came over to flash her tits, she made out she was collecting empties but you could see the crimson in her belly button down her segmentation, could make seen her vajazzle as well if she hadn't put on a bit of weightiness recently.
"What you do'in'after lads ?"she says,"Only we thought about a ignition lock in if you're up for it ?"
"Don't know,"I says,"Washing me hair maybe, and there's summat good on telly."
"What's that then Chalky ?"rocket Ron asks.
"There's got to be summat dear with sixty bloody groove,"I says reasonably.
Nozzer looked at his pint. It was odd he usually just sank them."What's up Noz ?"Gasser asks.
"Got a bad gut,"he says.
"Needs a bit of how's yer Father of the Church to tease apart it up."Mikey suggested.
"penury summat,"Nozzer agreed.
Now poor old Nozzer couldn't contain his beer. Ten pint was his lot and even then he wobbled all over the route when he rode his motorbike.
"That's how queers started,"I said,"Some poor shit couldn't shit so his mate buggered him to loose it up."
"You offering Chalk ?"Nozzer said.
"No way, but I reckon one of that lot would oblige."I says pointing to the lounge bar where several sharply dressed blokes was sat round. I knew one of them, tool"Nigel"Mansell
"I'll try anything Chalk,"Nozzer said through a haze of booze exhaust fumes,"Anything."
I went into the lounge, They was all there, gay as nookie, all sharp suits and that. One had a frock on. Lovely subtlety of garden pink, pity he hadn't had a shaving for a week.
I sidled up to, Nigel."Here my match fancies you,"I says all friendly like like I was chatting up some girl.
"Oh really,"he says,"And who are you, Vice pope Eric or the Prince of Whales ?"
"Nah straight up Nige,"I says,"He gets a bit release tongued when he's pissed, said he dreams about your big manly cock up his arse."
"My what ?"he says.
"well it used to be think ?"I said,"When you used to get a hard on in the showers ?"
"Oh,"he said,"Well what did you expect all those slippy well inflect masculine consistency just ripe for rogering."
"Anyway old Nozzer fancies batting for your side or at to the lowest degree having a trial,"I says.
He stared me right field in the eye,"And what may I ask, Mr deoxyephedrine, is in it for you ?"
"I'll photographic film it on me sound, trade it to Pornhub as Nozzer get's his Virgo the Virgin ass busted,"I offers.
"I want 50 %"says Nige,"When we has the lock in."
"forty / 60"I says.
"No, I'm happy with one-half,"he says. Sarky sod.
I wanders back to me nates and William Tell Nozzer,"Turns out Nige fondness you so its all set up for lock in."
"Taa Chalky, I owes you one."he says.
Lock in started around Eleven, Sandra locks and bolted the threshold, hung her knickers on the room access thickening and started selling durex at ten quid a throw before she sat on the billiard board, legs spread all-embracing and started wanking with a nursing bottle of Newcastle Robert Brown. Newcastle Brown I ask you ! No class that bint, she had empty Champagne bottles and Stella, even Coke but no she had to use Newcastle-upon-Tyne Brown. Still it contrasted nicely with her bright pink pussy lips.
Thing was she had no takers ‘ cause everyone was watching Nozzer and Nige. Half the fellow had their phones out and the former lot, them what batted for the early position, had their stopcock out wanking.
Nozzer had his trousers down as he bent over the Billiard table, don't know why he bothered as you could see his ass hole down his bum cleavage when he bent over, but there he was 46"shank Levis and M & S Wye fronts round his ankle joint while Nige hauled his cock out and slipped on a Durex, it were quite a nice refinement of immature if I remember mighty. He had a right field fuckup. Mine would give turned inside out and done a runner if I had even thought of bumming Nozzer but Nozzer certainly turned Nige on.
somebody splashed some lubricating substance over Nige's cock, I say lube, it might have been gear case oil or washing up liquidness for all I know.
Then it was down to commercial enterprise, the tip of Nige's glistening, straining green covered fellow member eased into Nozzer's puckered virgin asshole.
Nige beamed with the pleasure of the compressed orifice slowly easing open from the steadfast pressure level of his rampant member, he pressed relaxed and pressed again, he gripped Nozzer firmly around the waist for Thomas More purchase and grunted with the crusade. Beads of elbow grease broke out on his brow and dripped down onto Nozzers back.
Nozzer's cock hung down like a wither turnip. The turncock in his ass felt good, he just wanted it further in.
Nige pulled back for another go, this fourth dimension he slid in a lot comfortable, he was enjoying himself, all the way out so the tip almost slipped out, then all the way right back in.
"Oh,"Nige gasped, He worried he was about to cum too quick.
"Orrggg,"Nozzer moaned as he worried he was about to chuck up ten dry pint of Stella and a poulet Vindaloo.
Then it happened, Nige poking in but something was pushing back. His feet began to slide. His cock was sliding out instead of in.
"What the ?"he asked rhetorically. It was the poppycock of nightmares. Hs prick was being unceremoniously shoved out of Nozzer's arse by the dreaded shit python.
"For fucks sake !"Nige squealed as he recoiled, tripped over his pants and landed on his back.
The python stuck its brown school principal out of Nozzer's ass and kept coming, just a solid shaft of shit oozing from his tight puckered ass hole.
"Wow man that's hit the spot, '' Nozzer says, as the genuine giant shit Python slithered from his ass and curled up stinking on the floor like a big Brown snake coiled up quick to strike."That's what I needed man, that's ace. ``
poor people old Nige was in melt down."Savior !"he said,"Oh my god !"
Sandra took pity on him she expertly peeled off his safety using an interior out bag like picking up dog shit.
"Oh misfortunate Nige,"she says. She helped him to support up and kissed him on the dome,"seminal fluid to Mummy."
Nige was crying, he was totally freaked out. Sandra held him, then in a flash of stirring, she popped her left tit out for Nige to suck on.
"Never judgement Mummy loves you,"she said as Nige tucked into her tit.
"Mummy has a exceptional front bottom so you can fuck her without getting shit under your foreskin,"Sandra husked.
Nozzer was looking for bog curlicue. Sandra was ordering no one in fussy to cleanse the shit up, and Nige was getting an erecting again.
"Want to put your big thingy in Mummy's nice front keister ?"Sandra asked in a stupid voice.
Nige was just confused as Sandra slipped a clean durex on Nige's cock. She eased around and bent over the bound of the snooker table and reaching between her legs she guided the tip of Nige 's rapidly swelling dick towards her pussy. Nige eased into the unfamiliar warm up slippery cavern. It seemed odd that there was so trivial resistor, but it felt quite pleasant when Sandra started milking his cock with well practised cunt muscles.
Nige had barely started when he started to sprout his load.
Nozzer was ecstatic."Man that was the adept diddly-shit ever !"He declared loudly to anyone who would listen,"I reckon I might turn gay me self if its that good,"he added drunkenly.
"You really are unadulterated,"Algenon exclaimed.
"You ent supposed to stag,"Tommy hunt club says reasonably.
"Right,"says Nozzer,"So why did Chalky say to do it ?"
"Taking the pee-pee mate,"Tommy explained.
"You bastards,"says Nige as he pulls out of Sandra with his condom wax of spunk and his face absolutely white-hot,"Oh my god that was so awful."
"What fucking me ?"Sandra asked.
"No him shitting at me, I need therapy !"he replied.
"You need a girlfriend mate,"Sandra said,"That's twenty five quid pro quo by the way."
"Ghogof week,"I says,"Give her one get one free."
Sandra scowled,"No need to take the piss."
Not the most sensitive of answers anyway it set Nige off again. I was going to remind her that a tenner was the usual charge.
Sandra held Nige tenderly and next bloody matter he was riding her bareback with her sat on the snooker board and her feet on his berm. Really going for it and all.
Nige's mates were staring in disbelief, they couldn't get their heads around it. Nige fucking a hoot. I forgot to flick it, couldn't have flogged the footage where he didn't rubber up any road, so we all had a few more bevvies and went home. Except Nige and Sandra that is, seems they stopped up all night talking about manner and women's stuff.
So that was it. Nige needed therapy, every time he saw an ass trap he imagined a shit python emerging and it put him right off. Then again Sandra mad a nice few plug out of Nige and every gay bloke in Lancashire was warned what happened when Nige fucked Nozzer.
See. I was right, a bit of anal retentive cured his stultification .