I arrived at Allerton manor hall unannounced, dressed in the classic style of a landed valet de chambre while riding in a tolerably smart coach pulled by a matched twain of Charles Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in turmoil crying `` Are you expected sir, only His state of grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His goodwill indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as overbearing manner as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the whipping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rightfield he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the dame Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain willpower of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a discernment for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` better than minelaying, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as good with your driving, you better let me repulse ! ``

We changed billet and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a good lick and swung into the lame, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething wad of human beings confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a wheel there should give birth been massacre for we should never own stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in August, for a great wooden stagecoach had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the whole grocery square was packed with all course of study and upon that stage a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her scrubs or shift ripped from her and dangling from the string around her waist and her cloaked leather clad tormenter, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his gust by turning away he struck her shapely exposed breasts and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hired man were manacled and uselessly chained together and the range of mountains tied to a high light beam high above her head which served to sustain her so she could do nix but stand or swing uselessly from the articulatio radiocarpea smoothing iron from which a lead of blood seeped already.

The crowd were transfixed and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no paying attention but I supposed that a public whipping was the height of their season, and all classes were salute, merchants and tike, worker and nobleness indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the purpose, the God Almighty Graham, his son, by his side and the ma'am Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the Equus caballus and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the baby buggy through a T crook and tethered the team outside the firedrake Inn.

The maidservant was naught but a limp and bloodied mess hall when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Hiram Ulysses Grant the jurist of the Trentham assizes was mounting the footprint to the phase, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His state of grace Earl Leslie Howard told me to apply the law in its full forcefulness, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` note of hand well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the dame transported to the antipodes, I was determined that punishment should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a cardiac murmur, `` Have you seen that I justice assignment am a man of my word and all are be in my judicature, that the lowest maid and highest Lady can gestate equality of discourse ? '' he demanded. There was a grumbling of favourable reception. `` That the peeress Catherine received no penchant when she abused her trust and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a retainer five years labour ? ``

It hit me like a sledgehammer hammer, the serving doll was the Lady Catherine II, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the subject area and six Thomas More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered lenience should she confess as you all heard, but she will not allow in her guilt, will not fink, will not apologise and without contrition there can be no lenience, no slow life sentence as a house servant so shall she continue as the scurvy farm female child until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her Labour for her Father-God to disown, I suggest she may have found the antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his vocalism rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not slip. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my pinna and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine II was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my oculus beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her nerve were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulder joint firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an iron chastity belt.

A great jape arose and jolt Catherine II from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, despairing to continue the modestness that in truth was lost, and all the while her centre were crying but her rent had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the obscenity of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beaut ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the leg and chained barefoot behind a droppings pushcart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine II, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful cognitive operation, but by and by we made progress until at length the hayseed riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could go forward at its good pace which in all silver dollar was no bettor than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordships piggery, set away from the main house and farm because of the smell it was a low stone built building with a I. F. Stone tile roof on tone, and there in the mud and filth lived his Lordship 's pig, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine the Great chained as she was to an atomic number 26 in the wall which I noted his lordship agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the Lady Catherine the Great is so treated. ``

'' She 's no gentlewoman ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the residue, '' he said and he tore away the utmost of her clothes leaving her naked, `` She 'll get passel of slop come morning and she can enjoy a living of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is buck private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, safe day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my Father 's and read the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my beginner modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and pastures my father pretended to the macrocosm that he owned, yet sadly such was not the typesetter's case, indeed there was a time in my youth when my male parent spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a moment son, you have a commodity name but no fortune, so my son it is for you to produce your own fortune, shall you join the militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Father-God, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and travel the world in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that time I had barely exchange two dozen words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle H lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to establish purity of the treasured metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by arcdegree my teaching progressed until with a loan from begetter that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at home, a brief spell of dances and fetes, and I saw the Lady Catherine the Great often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not entertainment but a deep wooer to woo her, but for the while my companionship sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to pull in a fortune in the New World and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not specify to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with store or not at all that is my design. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the British capital time of year starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a great relief when we hit a gale off the Longships Reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore nothing would make me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with balmy disinterest that Fatherhood watched Barrington get the pusher up to our house and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to see its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as polarity that it was as a simple passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand British pound and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the United States 's ? '' Father of the Church asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought enactment to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open sea I was rendered incapable with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs cypher would induce me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the honest-to-god son of a second son, you have a full name but no luck, and to make your own chance by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and travel the man in search of hoarded wealth. ``

'' Then it 's a great shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' well Father I worked the wale Claire mine, maitre d' Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out take seams and gave directions, just above the water system he said, and there it was a slender seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a sheaf of candles, and I recognised the ash gray armorial bearing ore and jam my own sway by taper Light Within, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the Ag from the crushed rock and cast my own silver gray block of metal, but the vein was not across-the-board, too thinly to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the careen and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a Leontyne Price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver grey wrinkle clean and jerk as inscrutable as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro art object by piece moulded and cast into ingot and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to rise it was indeed fluent and as an aside we made rings and gewgaw by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling gewgaw hoop and pieces of silver and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of wealth saying there was splinter there and machinery was needed to mine the venous blood vessel any further and I sold ploughshare until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first ring to lady Catherine the Great, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro assay federal agency and I sent it anonymously but within the inner circle I engraved, `` To my making love JM. '' so she should know she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy history, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an supernumerary property set at dinner Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a ring, '' Father-God said, `` A bangle from madam Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid silver ring, '' Mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Fatherhood joked, `` There was something, Lady fowler would take in forgotten the whole affair of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the tintinnabulation, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a bustle, '' Mother said, `` All lodge attended, the evaluator, evaluator Grant, insisted that the law were preserve for her as for the downcast society and when it was all over he found her shamed and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinoxes or the nearest Sat thereto and should serve up as Lady Henry Watson Fowler 's retainer for a twelvemonth and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hogget in a line of business ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the condemnation is to incline Sus scrofa, '' female parent squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a government note to the Judge. '' forefather added.

'' And the jurist ordered her to wear thin an iron virtue belt ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall pull back. ``

founding father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was misfortunate, she came with her male parent and female parent and baby and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the rustle started that she would n't be flogged at all his saving grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Panthera leo and promised fee ale and had the justice bring her to the second power on the Saturday of the equinoctial point all dressed up, but chained mitt and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were gratuitous and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an branding iron taking into custody around her neck like any common malefactor and hung it from a irradiation. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the justice said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ring, old geezer Ag, and the hangman took up the whiplash and was merciless, left and right wing in alternative strokes, first he bared her stern so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed air into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her movement. ``

'' Her breast ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her tit, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled command overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocuous .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Church Father said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading haul up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of course being a fine lady, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on sett and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veg and all sorts of nastiness at her. ``

'' They put a dismission around her to enshroud her desolation, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and springy with the slob, she measures out their pigwash, some say she share it because they do n't give her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' mother said, `` The rube used to care to frustrate her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' don added, `` rock music breaking, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To cerebrate you wanted to adjudge your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll deliver to turn a handmaiden or get married a yokel, '' mother said.

'' Enter a cathouse more like, '' founding father said because he knew of such things being a one-time Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine II refused the Henry Watson Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Fowler 's would ingest no need of her dower. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square behind the dung go-cart on mid summers day and the smell was something awful, so last workweek they found her clothes from the entrance hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad bid, a cruddy yokel in a richly embroidered clothes brought in the Earls bare bearing, but the lower orders loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a fine lady that the lower social club may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the boo when they bared her teats, '' female parent added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' Father asked.

'' My champion Mr Barrington had line of work in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very favorable boy, '' mother opined, '' Why had you the money to jibe your infatuation you may have wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand guineas, eh, dulcorate the oral contraceptive eh ! all her need and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her natal day and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not mobilise the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' female parent suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less pathological. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next dawn I donned my working dress and borrowed Father-God 's Equus caballus for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a crimp I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice morning time, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get theme, '' She said as she banged her manacled radiocarpal joint against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a strong bit. ''

'' A candy kiss then, a easy caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigswill sack for a duster but it was idle and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a gist pie, and for that I shall leave that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have abrupt tooth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you come with me ? ``

She rattled the Sir Ernst Boris Chain attached from her manacled ankle joint to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I live you ? '' she asked.

'' You are gentlewoman Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my firmly labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a meat pie you shall sustain, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for PIE ? '' she asked, `` Proto-Indo European not hope will win my affection. ``

I went away in search of pies, I bought a slice at the Red lion and a jam sporting lady and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so secure, lovesome solid food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire More then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet piss from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my nipple ? '' she asked, `` As the hick do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shimmy from her titty and bent my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not torment me with easy kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` collation me hurt me but do not fuck me for I can not birth it. ``

'' You do not welcome my aid ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not prick I promise, you may use my lip. '' she said and I kissed her fully on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your fellow member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my rear of barrel feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so discerning, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all prosperous fur and anticipation beneath the branding iron strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emanation started, splattering her chin and pry and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` permit me. '' I took my hired man kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her typeface, `` You should hold allowed my candy kiss, '' I suggested, `` prognosticate me a long passionate candy kiss and you shall have a Gallus gallus leg and apple pie next clip pass. ``

'' And exit me all wanting, I think not, I should rather hunger. '' she said, `` But I shall brand myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you delight ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a question, `` Why did you slip the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your pastime ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no swell catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these game, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's pigwash than wear your troupe and eat pies and bawd, chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's mansion, riding hogback this clip, all dressed like a valet de chambre and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I order his Grace for I can not recall your name. ``

'' Matson, John Lackland Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fall guy was too strike by my attire to actualize who I was and invited me to wait in the living room, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom leave a face.

'' Indeed your goodwill. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the road agent ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought rich people in the USA and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck minelaying in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a horse in any showcase. ``

'' And your cause for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine of Aragon here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no remonstration if I woo her, whirl matrimony perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a cause and a horse and no circumstances, indeed you should be a perfect equal, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall get hold the key to her virtue bang, if you have a Somalian shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pocket, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your essence content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the affair of of a anchor ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great philia for Catherine and would wish to have her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruination, an antique of the thirteenth century by its scratch I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you consort with her, and now if you will pardon me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprise as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very unusual to be given a destitute bridge player with the Lady Catherine the Great, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my sawhorse mantle so I let her lie.

I said not a watchword to Father or Mother but side by side day I bought roast crybaby leg, and an Malus pumila pie and some limited deep brown with piano centres containing ticket vino which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a buck blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the berm with a unsmooth subdivision he had broken from a corner nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two cent for you to earn yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to squelch his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you delight to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the feeling of chicken, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine the Great gnawed hungrily upon the wimp leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her sexual abstention belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a British shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall observe a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can hold off, '' I admitted, `` But can you fend me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was old-timer, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can secernate from the print when the doughnut was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the evaluator Ulysses S. Grant. He knew of my male parent and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to delete his appointments when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave doubt about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the check from the jeweler 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewellers to master and Lady Gower produced a record that the pack was resized some years ago for Lady Fowler 's ascendent, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy glass and indeed gave a precise escort of manufacture some one C of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay legal tender do n't give the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the style, but not from the Saint Mark sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of dubiousness Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A seed no to a greater extent, but I shall make enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his metre and went house. Father was in an nettlesome mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a chance ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will go after you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a chance to pass, '' he said.

'' Then I shall return what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis skillful to get word King John but it will be even better when it is in my hired man. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my way, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his process while he sought to hold advantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot repast, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My oral cavity is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' poor people piteous Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' occupy away the branding iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven destitute, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with taradiddle of Cornwall, `` Did you get my annulus ? '' I asked, `` I made various, but I despatched the low to you by messenger, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simpleton novelty. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a amercement oldtimer ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with tears, `` So please never speak of mob again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excessiveness of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of Fatherhood loan.

'' So I shall not love finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so sorry, I presume too practically. ``

'' testament you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her optic full of tears and incongruous in her filth, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can have a go at it me then that is my fond wish. ''

I went home with the failing light leaving her to pile up sufficient hogget around her to keep on her warm through the retentive frigidity night.

'' His award Judge Grant wishes to see you Saint John the Apostle, '' Father-God announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his William Chambers with the big amphetamine and once there I was at once ushered into his front, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do consider young Henry Watson Fowler may take in given it to girl Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my decisiveness are questioned I make interrogation, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr buster and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send off for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall run into at Mr George Ratner 's emporium, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten sharp mind. ``

I went directly to the George VI Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the evaluator greeted me, `` In the back room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss Fellows was a striking young woman, she strode into the shop class on oasis Street accompanied by her maid and her mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr fowler this even. ``

The justice smiled, `` It is your gang, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester duomo. '' the jurist said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger's breadth, `` It may have got been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your portion Miss swain the justice enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that neighborhood, '' the female parent explained.

They handed the mob to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by turns they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the Saami but this was piffling different to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal blessing and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did search very familiar, and plain, I expected a dazzling regalia of rhomb but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ringing,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss Fellows a receipt for the ringing and asked that he might consultation Mr fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the dent along the bottom contrast, I have stared at that enough times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' Miner, extractor, and a very pitiful Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a anchor ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their record book and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay federal agency pestle, and that is no antique, indeed the two rings could have come from the Lapp cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the relief gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner party in the servants quarters at the Emporium, the judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'residence and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the Judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an antique ash grey ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the annulus from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall consultation her, come. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad party and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The jurist was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw foursquare where a healthy number of hoi polloi were already there and I became mindful that the court of law was rapidly filling, the older Mr Fowler Church Father of Francis fowler was in the tooshie behind me looking disconsolate and at once wild and worried, and then when I was seated for a half hour the Judges clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the jurist appeared.

'' If it pleases the kickoff suit is Rex versus Fowler. lying under oath. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little attorney announced.

'' No it does n't delight me bring Franics John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the cadre escorted by militia the jurist wasted no clip, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I muster Miss Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us forebode Mrs Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the attorney complained.

'' Silence ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you hold this old geezer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the shop clerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his love. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the justice asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you excuse the Truro oh four assay brand. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the attorney insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient Assay office and one can not recite in which 100 a small-arm was marked, merely the year from zero to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The Judge replied, `` And when did the Truro federal agency cease to boss with the First Marquess Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique ring and lied also that Lady Catherine of Aragon stole the annulus '' the justice suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis King John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Fri hebdomad when they shall be tried for perjury, and that young lady Catherine II formerly Lady Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on bang of theft also on Friday, I shall obtain lotion for bail for both matters in my chamber after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the commercial enterprise of the trial of Manningham, Lord Charles Grey 's Gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mr Johns for the theft of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you put up ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty Guinea here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall charge word, but she will need clothing so spend your ten ginzo wisely. ``

I had little time so I a few servants smocks were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunica, `` I have come to tolerate bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail the safeguard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a sporting smock, `` And where shall you consume me ? ``

'' home base ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had fund indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and flabby leather carpet slipper then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridgework where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arch and after tethering the horse cavalry she slipped over the breastwork and casting aside her gaberdine she slipped into the chest thick crystal clear water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulders soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her pelage of smut and she stood lofty and firm bodied with not an ounce of save fat, her udders sweeping from her breast like as thoroughgoing perfection, just the crisscross of the party whip trails to blight her as the grease slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed exemption then at once she sank from sight only to take form back out delightedly swishing her long jaundiced straw like hairsbreadth like a gamy retriever dog, and yet with plentiful use of the max slowly did her haircloth regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge breastwork curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her celibacy belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and More of splashing and frolicking before she felt neat and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall guide you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' liar, he sold me for a Somalian shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a accommodate business firm but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as captain and servant, and as was the pattern I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a convivial but unplayful evening with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her quick in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the opinion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the sunup, and woke me with a buss, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with particular care I explored where the virtue belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your cargo area. ``

I took custody of her and pried her legs wide and after exploring her fogginess with my finger eased the lenient folds asunder and eased the purpleness head of my manhood into her easygoing wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degree and through her torture which she staunchly repressed so tail inch by quartern inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warmly and wet and tight, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with heat until my potential returned and I entreated her to appropriate me to enjoy her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many Sir Thomas More British shilling for soap, I do believe you owe me the good manners of allowing my attentions a few more times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to conquer my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good potency that the pain subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my using up I should expect a dear few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was otiose and pressed rest home my manhood against her, and when pressed her indistinctness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her cushy congregation enveloped and swallowed him until the clod beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a high woodworking plane of Heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not anguish, `` I do believe you may be ripe, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your love life and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than cacoethes and in a while her rage overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious sum of money seed within her to quench her intimate fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't jest. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any instance you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our Union but the promise of two hundred pounds changed his head, but the Earl was more inept, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our audience and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine of Aragon 's clothes for the sum of xv shillings !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday tribulation at Trentham Assizes in the courtyard house.

Catherine chose to wear her red velvet garb with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should stimulate been, to the shock and dismay of the yokels clustered around the judicature who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public backside and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine II, formerly Lady Catherine Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a casing for the prosecution. '' the evaluator demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cells, '' the justice remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall verbalize up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the attorney, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a unproblematic mistake, and I 'm sure Mre Fellows and Mr Francis young man would magnanimously forgive the girl and publish her from her prison term. ``

'' Indeed, '' the jurist ordered, `` Then foretell Mr john Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the watcher box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your halo, Mr Matson, please tell the courtyard where you obtained it. '' The jurist asked, once I had sworn the truth to severalize, `` The one on your fingerbreadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' Show me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the fowler one, did you pretend that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine of Aragon, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the words have been worn off to bequeath but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The evaluator asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the justice insisted, `` It is crystallise the anchor ring is Matson 's and was given so could not receive been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine of Aragon, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a tardy day of the month perhaps you may provide the courtyard with no discolouration upon your part, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my baby carriage, Barrington had offered his inspection and repair once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic style of a set ashore Gentleman with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart pram pulled by a matched pair of Greys,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His goodwill. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine II ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apologia, '' she snapped.

'' search just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never verbalize again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a evenhandedly price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her face like Oliver Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made probationary enquiries and when Catherine the Great approved I bought the manor house house called Boulby manor house for a veritable song as it was in an unstylish style, and the trustees of the tardily Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Fri tryout, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the jurist so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the jurist came and announced the sentences.

'' The condemnation must represent the condemnation which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two one hundred eyelash and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred whip at solstice and equinox and shall serve well madam Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and date were set, snow stir set the market place white like fairyland and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as whiplash man again.

They led the mother in first, Catherine the Great stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her bridge player above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the worst bit Saint John the Apostle, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no estimation, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is individual, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when Lady Henry Watson Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her clothes but he struggled and then it was away and simple under affair covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity belt protected her reserve, as the curlicue of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in screen terror and all was not well with the whipping as her gentle flesh split almost the first blow.

There was consternation, and the jurist Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine of Aragon, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your heart to permute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a worthy charge per unit nightly whilst the madam fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with reward serve my sloven as I should detest for him to devolve from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassion peeress Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis fowler should be spared shipping and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid female parent and consigned to serve the squealer. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Henry Watson Fowler son in turn brought up, the yokel lost interest but the maids became concerned in their turn as his crown and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the radio beam by a rophy round his manacled hands, and then his breeches were hauled down and the first base reversal was administered across his left articulatio humeri and then a second across his right shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or more than blows were landed and then in the manner of such people he began to go against down, but it was not until after the first 20 reverse were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maiden had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's buttocks that the titter of laugh for as the puff landed so his humanness found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both curt and fat it caused immense playfulness, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his physiognomy reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the vociferation, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a prankish gumption of devilment the whips-man flashed the party whip between Fowlers peg and deep into his loins and all at once his humanity became exalt and spewed Forth River such a disgusting grayish subject matter, like three day old milk, that stalwart women fainted.

'' To think I might have married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six month in a pig sty was in all ways preferable. ``

But fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away senseless to the pokey to recover before a farther academic session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the 1st and we travelled home by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find lasting employ with us and we joked about Henry Watson Fowler but Catherine was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Padre and mother at my marriage, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never pitch