`` What floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding gamey above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The lounge floor, '' a woman with a plummy stress insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' Well it 's not good enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the reference, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a obscure promise, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall require you at seven this even, that should feed you time for exhibitor and a cheese burger. ``

'' That 's rush hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving capital of the United Kingdom darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't induce much alternative really, so I thew my putz in the old transit at knocking off metre and headed round mums for a bite to eat and a shower before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car green but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old fashioned township house with a few steps up to the look door and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bathe stone faced to first level point then furnish, a red brick body structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're ahead of time, '' she said censoriously as she opened the social movement door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' wellspring improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to allow me into the hallway. She looked late thirties acted like ninety, snotty bitch.

The kitchen doorway opened, `` Mistress, '' a young woman 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the cleaning lady insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a amah turnout about four sizes too small, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her belly button which must have been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your orb back in, they 're on stalks ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up and smack the coffee, '' she insisted, `` Really the little mindedness of the typical British worker never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business brothel keeper. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't crowd it. '' she said as she locked the outside doorway behind me, `` But we are not here to discuss my sexual druthers, nor yours for that issue. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed clapper and furrow stripped pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` Leaks, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against piddle leaks, '' I explained, `` But the periodic spillage should be all right. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had unspoilt see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the store room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not H2O, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the cheating drain, nothing to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me evidence. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` point our Edgar Guest the problem. ``

'' Mistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man fancy woman ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a min, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My brain boggled, she had done her dear but her tits still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the derriere span of in of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please Mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid child, '' she insisted.

I had no mind what was about to bump when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No blamed wonder it leaks and stink, have n't you ever get word of lavatories, Seth Thomas Crapper, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your small minded populace have you no knowledge of water system sportsman ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, water skiing, but not pissing on the animation room floor. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life story quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some blank,

'' seminal fluid Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't disgrace a wide grown rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you stand for hare ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a Nice rigid forearm to the transitory hardness of the male person member, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob smack if I 'm dependable. ``

'' She 's very, lamb to me, so I keep her on a brusk rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like cock, '' the schoolmistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your hard-on untested man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of course I got a laborious on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' Ninety seven percent of the adult universe, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a nonage fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would favour the old Norman Mattoon Thomas throne urinal to the keep room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my rima oris, in my whisker, in her haircloth, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a thought, '' I admitted.

'' The freedom to go when the climate takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to continue chamber passel under the bed when my grand dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't serve, does n't the thought of your urine arcing through the air to soak my dress, my brassiere, my breasts, does that not rouse you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your sass are silent yet your rooster speaks mass, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like cocks, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` poor people girl she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a short leash, from her revealing vesture to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all intents and intention, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walks in the park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop easy lay. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the lavatory, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hired man down my jeans, my rooster was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` Please ! ``

'' feel, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic activity not readily err for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' aspect, '' I said, `` You need pelage and coat of varnish, yacht varnish or something seriously rainproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should feature explained what you had in head when you had the place done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract, strictly William Henry Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a technicality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the LE makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the problem ? '' she said.

'' No it needs right sealing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coating, '' I said, `` twenty four time of day to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for textile, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's lip, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, speed center division bitch, who would n't need to pee-pee in her aspect ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining cock trench in her sweet pink pussy.

'' I do n't cognise, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for long time have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like pecker do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you fingers and my dally fancy woman, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft stain for it but as I mentioned a fixed forearm beats a compromising dick on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole room bare, no furniture, it will be about a week after the last coat before you can adventure using it again, twelve minute before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the basement, tile the floor like a shower, tile the walls a bit too, not white but maybe slating grey or something, then you can play there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary measuring and for those awing wet dark, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to gain a job we really need to demand out the existing, stick in a membrane. ``

'' How much ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball park, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two days, then you 'll demand a plumber to do the shower caput or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday week if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colouring material Wise it should be well-heeled enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` netmail me the final examination mention and I am sure we have a raft. Can I get you a glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bulge in my dungaree.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' trade good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` sayonara Pippa, nice to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the presence door, `` The storekeeper 's entrance is down the steps to the right field, '' she explained, `` bye-bye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' secure night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the transportation with a big grinning on my boldness, I just turned a complaint into two twenty-four hours paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to get a line about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a bloody pervert !

To be continued