This is the second news report of a much longer taradiddle arc, which is best read in the parliamentary law of the leaning at the end.

Translation of High German Son or phrases at the end. However, I have tried to make the substance fairly clear in context.



AS THETWIG IS BENT
voice One

Wie der Zweig gebogen wird, so wächst der Baum.
As the twig is bow, so grows the tree.


"Kurt ! Darlin ’, wake up ! You're havin'a nightmare. Kurt !"

Mount Logan's voice rings through my headland, disrupting the dream that holds me absorbed."I am avake. kibosh shaking me. It is all right,"I protest as I gather the pieces of reality around me, pushing the detritus of that false reality out of my intellect.

I feel Mount Logan's munition encircle my still-trembling body, drawing me closer to him. I curl up against his chest like a child.

"What was that all about, Elf ? I'm usually the one with the incubus, but this is the 3rd Night in a row that I've had to stir up you up."

"It is null. I just vant to bury it."

"Was it the same one again ?"

"I do not vant to talk about it !"

"It was, wasn't it, darlin'?"He hesitates before going on, as if unsure of my reaction."Who's Herr Grüber ?"

Panic engulfs me at the mention of that gens. I tense up and cling tighter to my puzzled better half, shaking my foreland in disaffirmation. My tail curls pathetically between my legs.

Logan reacts instantly to the fear that floods my scent as well as my sudden tenseness by using one of the hands he has behind me to stroke my spinal column. I take a cryptical breath, trying to relax.

"cypher. It is not important. Please, let us not sing of this."

"cypher, huh ? Then why have you been pleading with him in your slumber for the last few nights ? And why did you cry out his name the night before that, while I was fisting you ?"

"Vhat did I say ?"

"You really wan na know ?"

All I can do is nod my foreland. I had no theme I was talking in my sleep, much less during the time Logan was fist-fucking me. Mein Gott, what have I been saying ? !

"You were whimpering and begging in German. I didn't catch all of it, but it was something like"Nein, Herr Grüber. Bitte, nein."I've never heard your vocalization audio like that before. And then later you told him to go back to Hell, where he belonged. It's been mostly the Lapplander variety of thing during the incubus also."

Oh, no ! Had I really said all that out meretricious ? !

"C'mon, Elf. This ain't ‘ nobody'if he's haunting your dreams."

"I do not vish to hash out him."

"You're acting like a scared youngster. This is me. There's zilch you can't tell me."

I can not even impart myself to say his gens, much less talk of the town about Herr Grüber. Not to Logan, not to anyone. Distraction. Ja, that is it. I can distract him from pursuing this.

"So then there is also zippo you can not tell me, nicht wahr ?"

Mount Logan reacts as I expect him to."Well - uh --"

I take the opening he gives me."Of grade, it is all right hand for you to turn down to talk to me about those special missions you have been going out to do alone, but I must narrate you everything about my life. Is that it ?"

If he truly were a Gulo gulo, I would have been capable to see his haircloth stand on end when I said that. As it is, I feel him tense up, just as I have. We lie there unbendable and prickly in each other's arms.

"You don't understand, Kurt. That's unlike. I can't narrate you about that."

"How is it different ? Vhy ?"

"You don't understand. That's all. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I can't. You've just got to trust me on this."

"I could say the same to you then."

I pull away from him, turning over and dragging the covering up to my chin.

"Aw, Elf, don't do this to me. Or to yourself."

"I am not doing anything to you that you are not doing to me."

"Haven't we gone around in lap long enough about this already ?"

"Ja, ve have. So let us depart it alone."

"OK, shot I'm gon na have to figure it out for myself then."

I start to get up from the bed, but his arms fasten around my waist."You ain't goin'nowhere, darlin ’. Not without me goin'along."

Scheisse ! Now what am I going to do ? If he is holding me like this, I can not even teleport without taking him with me.

"talk of the town to me, damnit !"

I shake my principal in deaf-mute refusal. If one does not talk, one can not dedicate anything away.

"This ain't like you. You're usually the one who's all for communicating and honesty. Most of the time I can't get you to exclude your rima oris. But now, I can't seem to get you to open it. What's the matter ? Cat got your knife ?"

That did not hold any sense."Nein. My knife is rightfield here,"I protest, turning around and sticking it out at him.

"It's an artistic style, darlin ’."

I duck my headway to hide my embarrassment."Oh. Sorry."

Well, so much for silence. I was never very near at that anyway.

"C'mon, Elf. You're the one always wanting us to talk about stuff."

"Can ve not just public lecture of something else ?"

"OK."

Too slow. He is not going to make up that easily, and I know it.

"Look, you're all upset. I know how to get you to relax."

He draws me back down so that I am lying alongside him again, but still facing my side of our bed. His hand moves down to the small of my back. I shiver as he digs his finger into the tight muscularity that control my tail. delicious ! Just what I need to banish the remnant fear from the nightmare. If I had been lying on my tum instead of my side, I would have arched my spinal column against his hand, as a cat will do when petted. As it is, I press my articulatio coxae back against him and sigh luxuriously. If I were that hypothetic cat, I would have begun to purr.

I know very well what this will lead to, but I have no objections. Quite the contrary, in fact. Sex will surely sidetrack his effort to work out out what is bothering me.

"Darlin ’, I really have sex very little about your early childhood, although you've told me a lot about performing in the circus as a teen-ager and how much you enjoyed it,"he says lightly, as if this were his version of changing the subject to some kind of minor public lecture. Although I try to entertain onto my touch of eudaemonia and easiness, it is difficult. I know full wellspring that I can not easily betray Logan. For one thing, I have no talent for lying. For another, he could probably severalise from the jumpiness in my odour if I even attempted to tell him an untruth.

"One would think you went right from your mother's uterus to the flying trapeze,"he continues, in that Saami light tone of voice.

Before I can stop myself, I reply bitterly,"Often I have vished that vere true."

"Uhmm."

That is all ? No far gossip ? It seems so, as his hand moves glower and comprehend the base of my tail, massaging it gently. My entire tail collapses down onto the bed as if it were boneless, lying there in hitch comfort. Wunderbar !

"Ya know, I really enjoyed it when you let me fist-fuck you a few nighttime ago."

Even better. He is changing the subject to something much more pleasant than my too soon childhood. I am on steadfast ground here, talking about the other night. Except for what I must have said out loud.

"Ja, it vas incredible. Aftervards, I felt so - so -"At a loss for word of honor, all I can do is gesture with my hand, as if I am reaching for something I can not quite grasp.

"I know. I can't find the ripe Christian Bible to describe it either."His hand continues working on my tail, while his former hand move around to my dresser, playing over the marred designs.

"You almost told me to foreswear at one gunpoint, didn't ya ? Just before my knucks went in ?"

"How did you have it off that ? I only asked you to block up and vait a mo so I could align to the feeling."

"Elf, I've been there myself, remember ? That's usually the most difficult part to get through. I almost gave up then too, on my low gear try."

"You did ?"

"Sure. It's a terrifying smell, as if you're going to be split spread out at any endorse. Me, I felt as if there was a switch that had to click over in my headway in order that I could relax and allow myself to spread further, but it just won't go. In my experience, the tribe who get by that point usually flash on something in their past times that helps that switch to click on, some method of liberalization they've used before. Does that sound like what happened to you ?"

Before I can barricade it, my knife betrays me."Ja ! I remembered when Herr Grüber –-"I sit up abruptly."Verdammt, Logan ! Du hast mich betrogen !"

"Yeah, I tricked you. So what ?"His arm wrap around me, once again drawing me back down by his side. His hands return to their previous body process."At least you can tell me what this mysterious Herr Grüber did that made you open up and take my deal so well. That's not class information, is it ?"

"Vell, no,"I reluctantly admit."It vas only that he taught me a sort of mantra, a way to picture myself. It comes in Handy for such a situation."

"That sounds like a honest thing. How does it go ?"

"You are to suppose yourself as a cloud floating effortlessly through the sky. It is varm, sunny, and you are drifting on a gentle zephyr. You are immaterial, permeable, above all the troubles of the vorld below."Even as I say it, I feel myself start to thaw."You shift from shape to work, impermanent, changeable. You can plunge anything you have to. You can be anything you have to be."I shake my headland. Too much of this and I will space out. Perhaps I have learned my mantra too well.

"Not bad. It sure did the thaumaturgy the former night."By now, his fingers are teasing one mamilla, and his early hired hand has traveled around below my tail, not quite at that sensitive spot between my tail and my anus. He is teasing me, stopping just before touching that post.

"Ja. I have not had to use that speculation for more than years than I vould really like to enumerate. As you have often noted, I have far more flexibility in all vays than the average somebody does. And that includes certain sphincter muscles."

"That's for damn sure ! I never would've been able to get into you that easily for the showtime metre otherwise. Not with a hand the size of it of mine."

That bridge player is just now rolling my hard nipple between its finger. I take cargo area of it and bring it to my lips, kissing his metacarpophalangeal joint and then sucking briefly on each one in turn. Perhaps this will distract him from his pertinacious focus on things I do not wish to have him focalise on. I have never told anyone a good deal about my too soon childhood, former than that I was in a sideshow with a circus before I became a trapeze creative person. And that is all anyone needs to acknowledge, including Logan.

He will not be distracted. Wresting his hand out of my eager mouth, he takes hold of my hair and gently pulls my head back so that he is looking me in the face.

"So what else did you learn from this Grüber fellow ?"

"Nothing of any interest."

"Um-hmm."

From the doubting smell of his voice this meter, I can differentiate he does not conceive me for a here and now. Nevertheless, I volunteer no encourage entropy, nor do I intend to.

Then his former hand touching that lovely piazza just shy of my asshole. I close my centre and drop my head further back until it rests on my pillow."Aah, Gott !"

"Ya like that, don't'cha, Elf ?"I can hear the gloating satisfaction in his voice. I might be angry, if I could muster the energy needed, but as he continues to rub me just there, it feels too blessedly good to bother.

"Yeah, ya like it."I can imagine the smug smile on his look about now. But I do not care.

"Got an idea, Elf."

"So do I. Fick mich."

He laughs."Don't worry, I'll fuck you soon enough. First, let's play a little plot. You know how to play 20 Questions ?"

"Ja, but I vould much rather -"

He does not let me finish."If I can figure out the mysterious dark enigma you're hidin ’, I win. If I can't, you win. The common terms : loser buys the beer. What do ya say ?"

Slightly miffed, I retort,"Nein. I know how often beer you can imbibe, compared to me. I have decided the odds are stacked against me."

"bill can be stacked, darlin ’. Odds can't."

"You know vhat I mean."

"Yeah. So what do you want to do about it ?"

I am determined to ignore those caressing digit beneath my tail and drive a hard bargain, even if my intact tail is twitching and quivering uncontrollably beneath the concealment and my cock is stiff as a board."If I vin, you vill not only buy the beers I drink at the bar, but you vill buy me a compositor's case of beer for future consumption also."

"Agreed."

"I varn you, it vill rent many more than 20 questions."

"Ya guess so, huh ?"

"Ja."I am very sure, but still I do not like the way this conversation is going. Nevertheless, his digit are still playing with me lasciviously beneath my tail, so I have not yet given up on rerouting his interests away from his silly game.

"Then ya can't lose, right ? So let's playing period. Here's my first interrogative sentence. Is this Herr Grüber the man who ran the sideshow where you appeared as a child ?"

"Ja."The answer is out before I can so much as think about it.

"Was he the one who trained you to do the - ah - interesting -- thing you can do so well when we screw ?"

All right, how could he know that ?"Ja,"I admit, somewhat reluctantly this prison term. Logan's guesses are too close for comfort.

"So you spent your childhood being sexually abused by him, right ?"

"Is that another enquiry ?"I ask warily.

"Yeah."His mitt moves down a picayune bit, so that he is still massaging that wondrous place with his thumb, but his fingers now press against my opening.

"Ahh - mein Schatz - uh - you are distracting me from our game."

"I know that."But he does not stop.

"I vill miss count of the questions."

"I'll stay fresh caterpillar tread of what number we're on. right wing now, I'm waiting for your answer to my third base question."

"Uh - no. Herr Grüber did not exactly abuse me."

"No ? Fourth question. Then what did he exactly do to you ?"

"He very rarely had sex vith me himself. He only trained me to perform for my customers."

"Fifth head. Trained you to do what ?"

"Vhatever they vanted of me and vere villing to pay him for."

"Sixth question. Like sex ?"

I duck my head and hide my case against his broad bureau, shaking my head."I do not have to do because you have been cheating,"I mumble."Do you think I do not know that all the interrogative must be able to be answered by a yes or a no ? You have already asked two that should not count."

"All right, you got me on a technicality, darlin ’."His vocalisation is easy next to my ear. I feel his tongue lick the manoeuvre tip, even as his finger's breadth enters my eubstance."I withdraw those questions. semen on, Elf. You're not gon na chicken out on me now, are ya ?"

His finger strokes me inside, reaching for my prostate. My desire flares into something that I can no longer contain, as I spit out the solvent he so badly wants to try."Yes, yes, yes ! Sex ! Vhat else ? ! Sex, in any vay they vant it, vith any other disgusting smutty affair they vant me to do or vant to do to me, no matter if I like it or not ! ! Are you happy now ? Are you satisfied ? !"

His font registry sudden jar as I wrench myself out of his embrace, his finger being roughly pulled out of my ass in the outgrowth. I crouch before him on my hands and knees, bending my elbows to lower my oral sex and put my ass in the air and holding my buns off to one side in the classic invitation of a cat in heat."Fick mich ! !"I demand."Jetzt !"

"Elf, come on, not like that. Let me nurse you in my arms and kiss your lips. I wan na see your optic glow with honey and passion."

"Nein ! I do not vant to look at you ! I can not ! I do not vant it overnice and gentle and loving ! I vant it gruelling and roughshod. I vant you to lie with me like the bawd I am ! Do not talk. Do not console me. shit it hurt ! ass me ! Hard. Now."

"Aw right, if that's how you want it."After a legal brief moment, his cock presses against my fix, held truelove and guided by his hand. Even so, I can feel that it is wet with lube.

I growl as he hesitates. I slam my hips back against him, forcing his hard pecker into my ass in one stroke. I can feel him arch his backbone and hear his guttural cry. Then his fingers dig into the incline of my renal pelvis and carry me steady so he can thrust deeper."You want it like this, you'll get it like this."He moves fast, hard, deep, making no concession to what I may be feeling. But I do not like.

"Use me, hurt me, make me feel the pain sensation !"I snarl through clenched teeth."I deserve nix more. I am a whore, a slut, a thing to be used. That is what Herr Grüber taught me to be and that is vhat I am ! How could it be any different ? Fick mich, red cent you !"

For a minute, he holds still, possibly shocked by my news. This is not what I want. I want what I have said : to be used and used hard. I contract my pelvic muscles tightly, as if I am trying to pull him into me, then relax and do it again, at the same time tilting my pelvic arch forward then back. That finical sequence of movement, if repeated rhythmically for a long enough metre, is almost guaranteed to bring a man to orgasm. Only a few meter and Logan is moving again, matching my timing and thrusting with great enthusiasm.

"I'm -- gon na -- come,"he finally says roughly, between drive. Is it a threat or an excuse ? I am beyond caring. It does not matter. I will look at whatever he wants me to, his cum, his weewee, his hand, anything, it makes no conflict.

His fingers clutch at me severe as he pulls my hips into him yet again, grinding his bulwark tight against my seat, forcing them apart so he can get in further. He howls his release as I feel him shiver against me. A few more thrusts and he collapses on top of me, forcing me flat down onto the bed. I hear him panting for breathing space. I lie there as tear leak from the corners of my eyes, feeling my traitorous penis shoot its load onto the tortuous flat solid. My insides burn where his cock still gouges into me. Then suddenly it is gone, the weight on top of me lifts. I know he is kneeling there looking down at me, then I hear another howl, this time of torture, not lust.

"Elf ? O my god ! Kurt ! Are you all right ?"

I can not resolve right away. Whatever got into me, to act like that ? Where did that acute need come from ? What sort of a monster am I ? And what must Logan think ?

His arms come around me and I am dragged up next to him on the bed. How can he stick out to contact me, after what I have just said ?

"Kurt ? Talk to me. If you don't say something, I'm gon na carry you down to the infirmary right wing now."

"Vhat - vould you like me to say ?"I manage to gasp.

He pulls me against him so my heading is resting on his shoulder."What was all that about ?"

I try to turn away, but his arm holds me airless."I -- I -"I stop, swallow, and try again."I think that is vhat happens vhen you play Tventy Questions vith me."

That gets a wan smile from him, so I continue."Perhaps it is a well affair that ve only got as far as number six ?"

A tentative chortle."flavour like you owe me the beer, huh ?"

"Nein,"I object automatically, while component of my mind is still trying to adapt to the idea that he does not scorn me."You cheated."

"All right. telephone it a standoff then. We each buy our own beer the side by side time."

I nod, waiting to see where he takes the conversation from here.

"Now, darlin ’, you're gon na secern me about all this. Or do I have to fick you again ?"

I hang my fountainhead."I -"

He lifts my chin before I can go any further.

"—and don't even set forth to say you can't talk about it. Got that ?"

I nod."Ja. You vin."

He kisses the top of my head word."So severalize me what happened."

"I do not jazz vhere to start."

"In that eccentric, I'll ask More query. How did you get into a circus sideshow in the first seat ? Do you even be intimate ?"

"Only vhat I vas told by Herr Grüber. He found me as a very Brigham Young infant in a cardboard box on the doorsill of his house at the circus'vinter stern in the village of Schönberg one icy first light. There vas a piece of paper pinned to my mantle that read ‘ Kurt Vagner ’, spelled vith a W, of course."I shrug."This could all be a lie. I have no vay to differentiate. All I know for surely is that I vas vith him as early as I can remember, and being surrounded by strangers who stare down at me is part of my soonest computer memory. That, and a voman who must have been hired as my nurse who put her digit up my ass every time she suckled me. Much later on, Herr Grüber told me she did that on his orders.

"Vhen I vas a very young baby, it vas not too bad. I can think appearing as part of the sideshow, doubtlessly as one of the freaks. There vas an spear carrier charge to see the Amazing daemon infant, vhich became the Amazing Devil Boy as meter passed."

I go on to narrate Mount Logan a relatively brief version of my puerility, first pointing out that, contrary to the icon in virtually sept'minds these days, a freak show did not ( and I say it in the past tense because such things are generally not green anymore ) normally consist of people imprisoned in cages and forced to be on showing. virtually of us were there of our own free will, in large part because it was the only way to garner a comme il faut living. For those of us who could, a lot of it was a true performance, not just a display case of standing before the gawking consultation while they stared at us. At different time, I danced, did acrobatics, juggled, and even came up with a fairly practiced contortionist act.

The typical sideshow was not just freaks. There were also people with unusual skill, such as sword swallowers, sorcerer, attack eater, and knife throwers, to name just a few. Then there were the pseud, who were not true freaks at all but only pretended to be by using various forms of wile, or who, like most of the chance teller, were simply fooling people with their mumbo jumbo. On top of all that, there were the grifters, who ran con plot and secret plan of chance on the marks inside the tents, or simply picked their pockets.

From all of these multitude, I learned things. From the knife ceramicist, I learned to throw tongue. From the fire eaters and sword swallowers, I learned how it was done, although I did not undertake to do it. From the fakes and the grifters, I learned that, while it is not strictly speaking lawful that"you can't cheat an honest man ”, it is indeed significantly more unmanageable to do so. The easiest someone to cheat is the one who thinks he is really entitled to get something for nil, especially if you can also take a shit him think he can put something over on you.

As I have already mentioned, I was not usually in the main component part of the sideshow, but rather one of the duplicate attractions that was offered for the men in the audience to see at the end of the show, for a small extra bang. This was called the"blow off"and was conducted behind a drapery that concealed one entire end of our collapsible shelter. It consisted mainly of scantily-clad vernal madam who would dance for the men, often giving them fleeting glimpses of nudity. Our social dancer were dressed in Arabic costumes, with many humeral veil they could shed during the performance before anything grave would be revealed, and the simply medicine they needed was provided by a single drummer. Some of the ladies were more practiced at these so-called belly dances than others.

I was told later on that as an baby, I was brought out by one of the noblewoman, undressed, and held out for the audience to see up close. The Amazing daemon baby was the warm-up act before the dancing began.

As I got older, I was capable to be a more active participant, coming in with the ma'am to show myself off. While I had not been taught to trip the light fantastic as they did, I started mimicking them early on. That made the men looking at us smile and laugh, so I kept on doing it. I discovered by accident that the consultation would cheer me enthusiastically if I tried to get out off some of the head covering that covered the dame, so I added that to my act. It was fun to get a line the interview blast for me. The professional dancer soon figured out how to playact along with what I did, shrieking as I came near them, trying to sustain their veils out of my reach, or acting very hinder if I were successful in my efforts.

When I was old enough that correctitude demanded that I also wear something almost of the time, we set it up so that the dame could tear off my wearable also, to get More laughs. By the end of the display, I usually ended up entirely defenseless. I would take the air over close to the edge of the stage and let the the great unwashed touch me however they wished. I was so used to being displayed to others by then that I was not embarrassed or ashamed.

Since I already looked the part, I played up my devilishness as I got older, leering at the dancers and taunting them. I even had a miniature pitchfork, and brandished it suggestively. By that time, I knew very well what was going on and why men wanted to see naked adult female. I also knew perfectly well what the men wanted to do to those naked fair sex, if they had had a chance. I suspected that some of the girls were doing Sir Thomas More than merely dancing for the men, just as I was, but I thought cypher of it.

I had barely learned to tattle reasonably well when Herr Grüber started my training in earnest. At showtime it was soft and form of fun. I used my paw to please the private customers that came to our poke late at night, as Herr Grüber had arranged with them earlier in the day. He was exceptionally good at picking out masses in the audience who showed a particular fascination with me, then offering them the opportunity for a more private interaction later on, for a rather high fee, natürlich.

When a Male customer brought a woman with him to see me, wanting to simply watch me delight her, it was easy, even with just two finger and a thumb on each of my helping hand to run with. I think that very novelty was voice of what concerned some of them in my relief. Of course, I had to be careful of my fingernails, which even at that tender age were thicker and large than the average child's.

My male customer were more dispute, as they could be very demanding and I had to use more persuasiveness and exertion to realize them come. There was always a sense of victory when I was successful, as the full operation fascinated me.

Sex electronic organ became some of my most worry toy. Once one of the men asked me to lick up the sticky stuff he had produced, and I found it did not have a very bad taste at all. None of the men asked me to go down on on their dicks though. All I had to do was smile at them and they lost any interest they might take had in such a matter. Even my child dentition were sharp, crooked, and oversized. Probably that was for the proficient, as my mouth would not have accommodated them. I have yet to find anyone who wants me to generate them a coke job.


As I grew elderly, Herr Grüber gradually added former natural process to my repertoire, as I became able to do them. I was a very practiced pupil, wanting, as a child will, to please the individual who seemed most interested in me. It was not permitted to pain me, and I did not know there was anything unusual about being fondled by strangers, or being expected to match their privates and give them delight. It was simply what I did. Eventually I learned to include my tail in the carrying out of my duty, along vith a large array of the twist usually known as sex toy, which is particularly apt in my case.

I never knew how a great deal money he made by selling me -- how do you say ? - off the account book, but it must have been a considerable amount, since he had many more opulence than the others around us, even the top tier up performers in the circus itself. None of us in his appearance lacked for good food and properly livelihood precondition, considering the itinerant life we had to lead.

Sometimes I broke one of Herr Grüber's Rules and was punished, but that was not very often. However, when it did materialize, it was not fun at all."



"rule, Elf ?"Logan interrupted."What sort of prescript ?"

"Oh, mostly quite reasonable. The first three vere the most important. Let me see if I can still remember them correctly.

"get-go Rule : Never tell about vhat happens vith my common soldier client or during my training sessions. Second formula : Never refuse to do vhat Herr Grüber tells you to do in the training sessions. Third Rule : You may never resist a paying customer anything. You may cry, plead, or beg, but you must not protest in any vay. Only Herr Grüber is permitted to adjudicate what may or may not be done by a customer.

"I may have gotten the demand vording of the terminal one a fiddling wrong, but that was the essence of it. Since I vas a good piffling boy and try hard to please him, I seldom broke those ruler. I vas punished near often for vhat he called buttocks Infractions."

"Tail infringement ? What on worldly concern -- ?"

"Very simple. If I failed to see my tail and either got it in the vay of what was being done, or worse, actually struck him with it. The very vorst affair vas to light upon one of my private customers."

"But you've often told me you can't always control what your tail does or how it moves."

"Ja, and that is the honest truth. Eventually, Herr Grüber believed me vhen I told him that. My tail truly does consume a mind of its own in many vays, responding to my emotional state automatically."

As I am saying that, I sneak my rear end around underneath the covering and tickle the fillet of sole of his metrical unit. He laughs, and we struggle playfully for a moment as I continue to try to tickle him. I end up pinned down beneath him while he holds my shadow firmly away from his torso with one hand, frowning down at me.

"Give it up and I'll let you go. Otherwise I'll give your prat a beneficial twist."

I know that is an void terror. He will not seriously harm my hindquarters. Nevertheless, I let it go limp in his grasp.

"As you may let noticed,"I say, trying hard not to laugh,"the darn matter still gets me in trouble now and then. But I have learned a certain amount of control condition since I vas a child."

Mollified, he releases me entirely and we get comfortable alongside each other again. I must soon resume my story, like it or not.

"Once Herr Grüber realized I did not do it deliberately, the punishments ceased. However, my bottom vould always be restrained if I vere vith a customer and he thought it might try out to be a trouble. I got so that I expected something really bad to happen to me any metre my tail vas tied down as region of the preparation for the arrival of a customer. I vas seldom disappointed in my expectations."

"So what exactly did he do to punish you ?"

"He had a peculiar riding crop vhich vas used only for that intent. It vas more rigid than the usual ones, so it hurt more. It had a red strip of leather braided in vith the common Negroid slip so I could tell it from the others. I got a certain act of blows across my bottom, depending on the hardness of the misdemeanour, either backside or ordinary convention. The most vas five, but usually I got much less. However, if I cried out or tried to evade the snow, I vould get one Thomas More added to the total for each time I did that, also the same as vould have happened during average punishment. It did not take long to memorize not to do that."

Logan nodded. That apparently made common sense to him."audio as if he was a rather harsh taskmaster."

"That, mein Freund, is an understatement to say the least. Vith me, it produced the sort of results he vanted."

Logan stares off into place for a import, as if he is thinking about something. Then he comes back to the demonstrate.

"As the sprig is bent,"he says softly,"so grows the tree."

"Vhat ?"

"Haven't you ever heard that proverb ?"

I shake my head, then I try translating it into German, to see if it might fathom to a greater extent familiar. “'Wie der Zweig gebogen wird, so wächst der Lyman Frank Brown ’."

"Yeah, that's it. You mean you've never heard it before ?"

"I have not. I think ve do not say that in Germany."

"Your Herr Grüber was obviously familiar with the concept,"Logan answer, somewhat disdainfully.

"Ja, it vould seem so. But vhy do you say ‘ tvig'? That is a very small branch, not a young tree like a seedling."

"How would I eff ? That's just the way it goes, that's all."

"Vell, the import is certainly true, in any case."

"Enough of this. Let's get back to the story, huh ?"

I glance out the window, and see the stark tinge of gray in the swarthiness beyond. There will not be time to secernate him much more before the dawn will be upon us, and we will accept to get up. There are, after all, classes to teach. Whatever happens between us, it will not be resolved in the short time remaining in this night. But I can establish a start.

I nod and try to relax back against him as I go on.

"It vas not all sex, you know. Like any shaver growing up in a circus, I had lots of other things I had to do also, besides being a dancing junkie in the sideshow. The sideshow only ran before and after the main carnival shows, vhich left me free to choose a small part in the rattling performances. I had a talent for stunt flying, so I started at an early on age in the children's acrobatic display. Of course of study, I could not come out as I really looked or no one vould pay to see me as a freak. Mutants vere not generally recognized for vhat they vere in those days, since they vere still relatively rarified and the worldwide populace knew nothing except a few stories about people vith strange abilities or coming into court. At that fourth dimension, I did not make out vhat I vas either. It got much harder to disguise myself later on, when the macrocosm of mutant became vernacular knowledge.

"The handler of the children's troupe decided to cover me in field wad : all the nestling vere costumed as footling devils vith tails and vore makeup in various colors and figure. To pretend me even less conspicuous, I had to be a footling girl, vith a flouncy short annulus and long curly vig. The skirt covered portion of my tail, so if I forgot now and then to maintain it stiff and artificially curved like the fake tails the others vore, it vould be LE noticeable.

"Vhen ve had a parade down the independent street of a town to draw people to the show, I rode along on the elephant, vearing a loose clown costume and makeup that concealed me completely as I juggled some colorful balls or balanced on my hands."

Zirkus Sonnig was not heavy or well-known. In fact, as carnival went, it was somewhat disreputable, but I did not know that back then. It traveled mostly around Bavaria, so, unlike the American circuses that often had yearn distances to overlay between occlusion, we usually had to repel for only a short time. Since all of FRG is only about the size of the province of Montana, and Bavaria is only one function of Federal Republic of Germany, we did not expend tumid amounts of fourth dimension in transit, which gave us more time for setting up the tents and other requisite equipment. In all, there were only nine big truck to carry equipment and animate being, plus varying Numbers of individual camping bus or dawdler belonging to the performing artist and other actor. Herr Grüber and I lived in his nicest drone, and he had another one for some of his sideshow people, while still others had their own hand truck or campers.

Every winter we stayed at our quarters in the small township of Schönberg in central Bavaria, which I have already mentioned. The former children in the genus Circus would go to the local schooltime during that time, but I had my own private tutor, since I could not look in public unless I was thoroughly concealed by my clothing. It being winter and very cold, that was not too hard for me to fulfil so long as I was extraneous, but it would not work indoors at a school.

As for the sex, even when I became old enough to get wind more than complex behaviors, it still was not that bad. As soon as my digit became fairly proficient at what they did, Herr Grüber started working on early section of me. By the time he started training me to take over anal insight, I was so accustomed to knowing about such things that I approached it as just another lesson I must get a line in rules of order to please him. After all, I had been used to having his finger up my ass on a regular footing, ever since my nursemaid had been dismissed.

After my one-fifth birthday, I was put to bed every nighttime with a seat hype in my ass, in gradually increasing sizes. It was during this time that he taught me the floating dapple meditation that has proven so in force. By my 6th birthday, he had sold the right wing to take my virginity, such as it was, to the high-pitched bidder he could find.

But you must not think he just let someone rip me open. Oh no. He was always very careful, setting limit and keeping an eye on what was done. As a result, I was never seriously injured during any of this, although it was sore and frightening at times, especially that kickoff clock time with an adult man.

If I did very well, he vould tell me I was his besonderes Dämon-Kind, or his kluger kleiner Teufel. Then he would bring me a endowment from the Midway. Maybe some cotton confect or popcorn or some small trinket he thought I would like.

If I seemed sad about being unlike from the former children, he would order me that, if I were like the others, I would not be able-bodied to do all these thing so well and he would not know me as much.

As I have mentioned, there were punishments if I broke his rules, but when I was punished, it was only because I deserved it. well-nigh of the time, I got pleasure from what he did, and also from what my private customer did to me. Herr Grüber was always right there, not permitting anyone to be jolty or brutal to me. As any tike might do, I thought of him as my instructor and protector."



Logan breaks into my story, clearly unable to keep smooth any longer."Elf, he only protected you like that because he didn't want to smash you."

"Ruin me ?"

"Think about it. If he let everyone rape you repeatedly and brutally, how long would it ingest been before you were terrified, traumatized, and no longer attractive to the client ? Rip your SOB unfold often enough and long enough, and you'd fall back your muscle timbre and be ineffective to do what you now do so well. Same matter if he let you catch all sort of diseases. He didn't want to damage his valuable merchandise. Can't you see that ?"

"I can now, but it did not feel that vay back then."

"Of course not ! What did you know about such things ? You were a kid."

My eyes are staring down at the level again, as I acknowledge the fully extent of how well and surely Herr Grüber had manipulated me."I guess you think I should have resisted vhat he -"

"How ? What could you have realistically done to stop him ? reach yourself a break. It wasn't your defect, so why are you looking so ashamed ? Are you afraid I'll think lupus erythematosus of you because you didn't scrap back ?"

"No. Not for that exactly."

"What then ?"

"Gott hilf mir, I enjoyed it ! I vanted it ! I vanted his love ! I vould do anything he told me to do, just so I could get his approval."

"All nestling need love, Elf, just like we do,"Logan says, petting my foreland and smoothing my tomentum back gently."Why would you be any dissimilar ?"

"They don't need that form of erotic love ! !"I retort, too loudly and with my voice breaking at the end.

"No, they don't. But if they can't get one kind of love, they'll take another. Do some research on brainwashing, darlin ’. There's Thomas More than one way to come apart someone's will, and one of those ways is to win over them to love you."

I think about that as I struggle to get myself under control. Finally, I am composed enough to ask,"Mount Logan, do you believe I am crazy because of vhat Herr Grüber did to me ?"

"As far as sex goes, Elf, I think you're one of the sanest people I've ever known. Also, one of the most versed, and you didn't learn that in your acrobatics year. Take that floating like a cloud thing, for instance. Turned out to come in handy, didn't it ?"

"But I learned that from Herr Grüber."

"I know, but it works, doesn't it ?"

I nod grudgingly.

Logan leans forward and kisses my eyes."So don't headache about it. I'll never think any to a lesser extent of you for what individual else did a long time ago."

I am about to tell him he might very well think less of me if he knew the rest of what I did, but at that moment, our warning device clock goes off.

We both saltation. Logan reaches the clock first and turns it off. I am sword lily he did not slice it in half, as he has sometimes done. The sun has somehow managed to hoist itself up above the horizon unnoticed by either of us.

We look at each other and shrug our shoulders."I guess it is time for me to get up,"I say reluctantly.

"service ya right for agreeing to teach an former year this semester. I get to sleep for another duet of hours."He grins and flops down onto his side, pulling the pillow up over his head.

As I get out of bed, I hear his muffled phonation birdsong out,"This discourse isn't finished, Kurt. Just postponed until tomorrow night."

"Ja,"I agree, without enthusiasm.


THE HOUSE
interlude


As Mount Logan comes in the door to the rooms of way we occupy here at the school, he finds me sitting in the chair by the windowpane in our bedroom, a bottleful of beer in one hand and an evacuate bottle already on the windowsill.

"OK, Kurt, what's goin'on ? I don't usually see ya drinkin'this early on in the day."

I glance at the clock beside our bed."It is 4:36 PM, mein Schatz. That is not so early."

"Umm,"is the noncommittal answer. He comes over, snarf my hand and the bottleful together to check the floor of the fluid. Half abandon. Or half full, if you are an optimist. He leans down side by side to me, pressing his rim against mine.

When we end the kiss, I make a aspect and tell him,"You taste like your last cigar."

"And you taste like your lastly beer, with a position Order of brimstone."

Nothing strange about either charge. We are just sparring with each former, as we often do.

"OK, darlin ’, gon na secernate me why the beer ?"

"Ja. Very simple. I have something to shew you from my childhood and I am trying to get in a unstrain mood, since I know it vill not be easy."

For a mo, he is puzzled."I thought we were gon na finish our talk about that tonight, Elf. In bed."

"Ve are. But I vas just unpacking a box of old script I have had sent over from vhere they vere being stored in Germany. I thought I might be able to use some of them in my intercede German class next year. In a corner of the box, along vith a few former token, I found something that had once been very important to me, and I vish now to show it to you."

Lifting the bottle to my brim, I drink the relaxation of the beer, set the bottle on the windowsill along with the old one, and open another from the cardboard cartonful at my feet. Only then do I stand up up, prepared to lead the way into the way I use as my study.

Logan raises an eyebrow, glancing at the remaining beers in the carton on the flooring. I nod, so he picks them up and carries them with us, taking one for himself as we go.

"So designate me this keepsake that's so important you have to fortify yourself with three nursing bottle of Löwenbräu before you can get by with it."He slumps down into the reclining chairperson in the quoin of my study where I do almost of my indication, taking various swallow of his beer. Then he nods approvingly at the bottle in his hand."Good stuff."

"Danke. Does that mean I have finally convinced you that German language beer is better than that horse weewee you Americans pledge ?"

"Uh-huh. Especially if you're the one paying for it."

I ignore his jest. From amongst the nap of Bible scattered around my desk, I pick up a belittled object and work it over to him, draping myself bonelessly across his lap. He switches on the bright recitation lamp next to the hot seat, then props me up with one arm behind my shoulders, as I hold my hand out to him."Here."

Setting his beer on the floor, he takes the little object into his own declamatory hired man, turning it around and examining it quizzically in the visible light from the lamp."A little house. Looks pretty old. A box of the yard is broken off, but person seems to have tried to smooth it out and paint it so it's not so noticeable."

"Ja. I did that."

"So what's the deal ?"

I prop my read/write head against his shoulder and the back of the hot seat and brand myself for what is to add up with a farsighted swallow of beer.

"One day vhen I vas about nine class of age, Herr Grüber came over to me carrying the dreaded riding harvest with the red braiding - and something else,"I begin.



"H - have I been bad, mein Herr ? Am I to be punished ? Vhat have I done ?"I said, my articulation growing more despondent with each sentence.

He shook his head. No. I am not to be punished. I released the breath I was holding.

"You're a big boy now, Kurt, and I'm going to start the next form of your training. You will feel it to be unpleasant at times, so I'm going to hand you something that will help you apportion with it."

He held out his hand. I saw a small but detailed mannequin of a house. It was that form where the first story is brick, in this display case painted white, while the second story slightly overhangs the first and is mostly T. H. White, but has numerous large forest at Angle, all painted fateful. I think this style is often called Antony Tudor in this country. The roof was shingled, and a red brick chimney ran up one slope of the building. I could see the house only from the front, but it had a bay windowpane protruding from the side that was opposite from the lamp chimney. The little planetary house rested on a section of pale green lawn with various crotch hair. There was a wooden door with a track leading up to it.

Why would he require to consecrate me such a matter ? I dared not even ingest it from his hand until he indicated I might do so.

"Mein Herr, I do not infer. Vhat am I to do vith this ?"

"Over the next duet of twenty-four hours, I want you to hit the books it very closely. Memorize the outside so well that you can see it clearly in your mind, then adjudicate how it looks on the inside. visualize the rooms, the locating, what it would count like if you were standing inside it.

"But how can I know vhat it looks like on the inside ? It has no material inside."

"You must choose for yourself how you want it to reckon, in so much detail that you can fix it securely in your idea. Where is the kitchen ? The bedrooms ? Living room, lav ? Is there a work ? A hall ? Where are the stair ? Which sleeping room is yours ? Since the entire house belongs to you, you can construct it in whatever way you want it to be."

"However I vant ?"

"Ja. Except there is one thing that must be there : beneath the entire business firm, there is a basement. This cellar is dark, damp, and frigidness. It is full of dust and stain, for no one ever goes down there. dirty dog and mice scamper on the level, spiders spin their web in recess and ceilings. Water seeps through the cracks in the walls when it rains. Scary things reach out from the dark. Strange and frightening noises assault your ears. The step that lead down into this cellar are old and stinky. They may not hold the exercising weight even of a boy such as yourself."

"Herr Grüber, I - I do not reckon I vish to live in a menage that has such a dire basement."

"You have no option, mein kleines Dämon-Kind. It is where you will be."

I averted my eyes and nodded, trembling.

"In clip, you will learn to love that basement, for it is the place where you will keep all the things you can not bear to confront in the lightness of day. If you are afraid, you will agitate your awe down through that doorway, and let it fall to the bottom of those rickety stairs. Disgust will go there also, along with shame and abasement. This is where you will send out your incubus, when you awaken from them crying.

"But most of all, when you are hurt, this is where you will put your pain, so you will not feel it so much as it is happening to you. You will imagine it stored down in the far corner of that cellar, surrounded by nasty affair. You will see the puke gnawing on it, cockroaches scuttling over it. The matter that gibber and shriek in the shadows will deplumate at it, until it's all gone, and all that's left is you, tucked calmly and safely in your strong bed in your own cozy bedroom."

"But vhy vill I have to do that ?"

"You will not have to do it, Kurt."He hit me across the expression with the riding harvest, not terribly gruelling, but hard enough."You will desire to do it."

And indeed, I did, if it would ease the sharp pang across my cheek and the pain of my bleeding lip.

"Your next lesson will be on the use of goods and services of pain, child. It will take some years for you to master this percentage of your training, and you will not enjoy it very much. Or perhaps -- who knows ? - you may be one of those who do enjoy it, once you know what it's like."

He held the trivial object penny-pinching to me, in forepart of my face."Study your family very closely, mein kleiner Teufel. Learn to live in it and make it your own."

I stared dubiously at the gift he proposed to give me.

"Mein Herr, is it permitted that I ask you a question ?"

"Yes. Whether or not I answer is, as always, my choice."

"How did you learn all the things you teach me, and vill instruct me in the future ?"

"How do you think ?"

"someone taught you, as you are teaching me."

"Yes."

"Who ?"I did not really expect an answer, but I got one.

"My father."

Perhaps I should have expected that, but I did not."He gave you - this ?"I replied, pointing one finger's breadth tentatively at the planetary house he still held in his hand.

He nodded.

"May I also ask if he - sold you - as you do me ?"

"No, nipper. He kept me for his own exclusive use."

I hesitated for a here and now before daring to take this thought any further. But he was not frown, nor had he threatened me with the riding crop so far.

"Did you - delight it ?"My voice faded out towards the end, as my courage finally failed me.

"That I will not answer, Kurt. Never speak to me again about this case. Verstehst du ?"

"Ja, I understand. I vill not."

He smiled. I had pleased him yet again."You're a good boy, child. Don't be afraid. This will not all be bad. There are good affair to come for you, if you learn your lessons well."

I wanted to ask what unspoilt things, but knew better than to advertize my luck. I glanced up at him trustingly, hoping for an explanation.

"I have spoken to M'sieur Villaume. He is willing to let you try out tomorrow. If you do well, he will go preparation you on the trapeze along with his own son, during the wintertime months."

My heart Panax quinquefolius with joy. I had wanted this for so long, but had thought it would never be permitted to me. I knew I had the ability to be an aerialist. I had stared for many farseeing minute at the Villaume folk up on the trapezes. I knew the staple move, and had practiced some of them from the limb of trees whenever I could. I was the practiced acrobat in our small troupe of child, better than some of the adults. My dream might now be possible after all !

Or it might be, if I continued to please Herr Grüber. For I had no illusions about that. If I did not teach these new example, and get word them well, he would not let me do this total winter.

"I vill make you majestic of me, mein Herr,"I promised fervently."In all vays."I held out my hand for the lilliputian home.

Satisfied, he placed it on my small decoration."Do you now begin to have it away what this is, Kurt ?"

I stared up at him, my heart wide, and didder my head.

"tike, this is the House of Pain."

I curled my few fingerbreadth around the precious endowment he had given me."I accept it villingly."




Logan drains the beer from the bottle in his deal and drops it to the floor to join the four others that are now lying there.

"Aw, horseshit, Elf,"he says, wrapping both weaponry around me."Not when you were only nine long time old."

"Ja,"I say, my part muffled against his chest."Herr Grüber believed in starting his preparation young."

"Motherfuckin'son-of-a-bitch ! !"

"Do you mean you think he fucked dogs ?"I inquire archly, looking up so Mount Logan can see my face.

"Huh ?"At to the lowest degree I had derailed the string of curses that would have come next.

"Vell, if he is the son of a gripe, his mother is a dog, nicht wahr ? And if he fucks his female parent, he vould be fucking -"

Mount Logan holds up a mitt to hold on me as he finishes the sentence himself."—a dog."

"Ja."

"You're not gon na distinguish me you don't know what I meant, are ya ?"

I gaze at him with a look of innocent incomprehension.

"Look, Elf, it's an -"

"—idiom. Ja, I know."I grin as I get up off his lap."Just trying to lighten things up, mein Freund. The melodrama in here vas getting so thick I vould soon have to have teleported us avay before ve suffocated."Grabbing a hired man, I pull him up from the chair."semen. It is almost clock time for supper and I'm hungry, despite all this beer. Lass uns gehen."

As I turn to drag him towards the doorway, I feel a precipitous smack across my tail end just below my tail.

"Ow !"I turn and look at him reproachfully."Vhat did you do that for ?"

"Just because I can, smartass."

I could not withstand the obvious comeback."Vell, my ass may not be all that smart, but it is certainly smarting just now."

"Agh !"he exclaims, putting his arm around my waist as we head down the stair to dinner.

Part 2 :
SO GROWS THE Tree

Wie der Zweig gebogen wird, so wächst der Baum.
As the twig is twist, so grows the tree.




The sun has set long ago and most of the others have finished dinner, yet still I sit pushing the solid food around on my home base. It is in effect and I am hungry, but I can not storm myself to eat very much, as my venter appears to be playing server to a with child flock of restless butterflies.

Mount Logan leans over to me and says softly,"All right wing, darlin ’. You know you're just stalling now. Let's get this over with."

I nod my acquiescence and rise to my base. In silence, we climb the two flying of stairs to our cortege of rooms on the third floor, where most of the adults and teacher have their quarters. Mount Logan locks the door behind us as we go in, as he usually does.

Again, as is our usual pattern, we strip off all our wearing apparel and point for the bed. The only unusual thing about all this tonight is that it is far earlier than our regular bedtime, and I am not looking forward to what will happen when we are both in bed.

Logan piles all of our pillows into a comfortable batch in the centre of the headboard, tucks himself under the covers and props himself up reclining against the pillows, then looks at me with one eyebrow raised. I sigh and reluctantly lie down by his side of meat, pulling the covers up over me also. It is a frigid dark for early March, and the heating system of the hall is not always quite tolerable for me to feel comfortable during a cold while. Maybe I should get up and get my housecoat and wearing that. No, Logan has already gotten his arms around me. He would recount me I am just stalling if I get up again. And he would be right. Oh well, if I stay here for a while, I will surely get fond lying next to him like this. I bend my legs and closet my frigid substructure against his warm calves.

He sighs."You're not really into this, are you, Elf ?"

"It is that obvious ?"

"Sure. Any other night, especially a chilly one, you'd be wrapped around me tighter than a boa constrictor with his prey, but you're just lyin'there tonight."

"This is not easy for me, you know."

"I know."All of a sudden, his face takes on this"I got an idea"expression. Uh-oh. Last night it was 20 doubtfulness. What is it this time ?

He grins at me, then tries to frown menacingly."I may not hafe vays of makink you talk, but I do hafe vays of makink it easier for you to talk."He leans over across me, rummaging in the draftsman of my nightstand.

I can not help but smile at the overdone High German accent.

Having found what he is searching for and gotten back to his slope of the bed, he holds up the butt wad that he gave me for my birthday last November. It is a pretty thing, made of whole atomic number 27 bluish glass, about 15 centimeter long and 5 centimetre widely at the bottom of the brush up cone-shaped part. Below that, it narrows down to a little under 3 cms before widening out into a bombastic flat throwaway base. Being Methedrine, it is heavy, smooth, and usually cool to the touch.

I know immediately what he is suggesting. Mild rousing always loosens my knife. This might work.

I nod in correspondence, leaning over to seize a fingerful of lubricator from the container that sits discreetly in a carved wooden box on my nightstand. As I rub the greasy stuff and nonsense onto the butt plug and my ass, I smile again as I remember how we started using Crisco a few hebdomad ago, when we ran out of the usual lubricating substance one night and frantically ransacked the kitchen for a backup. It turned out not to be as messy as the regular water-based stuff, and lots cheaper.

Rolling onto my side, I bend one leg up sharply, raise my tail, and present my uncoerced rear to Logan for insertion. As such things go, this is not a small plug by any means, so he works it in gradually, allowing me time to aline. As the full portion opens me and sloping trough in, I sigh as I feel the associate imperativeness resolve into piazza. I can already smell some of my anxiety dissolving. When I sleep part of the night with this stopple in place, I wake up as horny as can be. I suspect that is the reason Logan gave it to me in the first place.

He presses a digit gently against the circular base, rocking it back and forth inside me. I squirm at the lovely sensations, tucking myself more tightly into the warmth of his coat of arms. practically better. Maybe I can mouth about this after all. glade my throat, I give it a try.


"As I said this afternoon, Herr Grüber gave me that slight model of a house and told me how I vas to use it. I took him at his vord, and began to think it in my creative thinker, deciding the integral top flooring, including the large bay vindows on the front man and side of the house, vas my bedroom, since no one else lived there except me. It vas full of Christ Within and cheer, and I decorated it vith all the things that gave me delight. Pictures of passive green wood, snow-covered mountains, and ships sailing over dramatically stormy seas covered the valls, along vith circus posters that advertised my incredible acquirement on the trapeze and high up vire. tarnish ice filled the panes of one of the vindows, throwing splotches of color around the big room. There vere shelves and ledge of books for me to read, and a vauntingly soft bed with a comfortable quilt of square sewn together, all in different specter of purple. The cap vas a vast painting of wiz in all their many constellation and form. It vas a room of well-chosen dreams and upbeat twenty-four hour period, the kind of berth I had alvays vanted.

"I put a roomy bathroom vith a large tub at the position of the elbow room furthest from the vindows, imagining how nice it vould be to fill that tub vith hot vater and soak in it on common cold days. The toilet vas lower to the background and smaller, to conveniently fit my nipper's stature. I figured I could make it bigger later on, as I grew Old. I covered the floor vith midst rugs, so my invertebrate foot vould never be cold from valking on a au naturel floor.

"All this vas fun, but then I had to create the freighter story, vith its room access to the basement. I started vith a flight of stairs of very ordinary stairs, imagining myself descending them. At number one, I could see zilch but darkness, but then individual rooms began to take shape."

I break off, seeing in my mind a vision of the lovely upstairs room I had evoked shattering on the stark realness of the low-toned floor.

I swallow hard, staring into that darkness down below."I can not go on."

Logan says nothing but only kisses the top of my question, then the finger between my pegleg remembers its task of pushing the coffin nail plug slightly in and out, in and out. My whole organic structure tenses as a spasm of pleasure runs through me. I gasp. He kisses my sassing this fourth dimension, then pulls away to whisper in my ear.

"What are ya afraid of, darlin'? Why can't you tell me ?"

"You vill think me veak and covardly for vhat I let him do to me, and for vhat he made me do."All right field, I have said it. Good.

"You ? A coward ? I know better. Besides, you were a child at the time."

"Macht's nichts. I did not resist. In some vays, I enjoyed it."

"Elf, we've been over this before. There was zip you could do to contain him. You were a child, at the mercy of an adult. As for the enjoyment, no topic what age a person is, it's still sex, and sex can be made to be enjoyable, even if forced."

"You are correctly. But -"

"cypher in the world could change you into a wuss in my optic. I swear it."

I still look doubtful. He continues to pump his digit gently against the blueness glass.

"C'mon, Elf. What more can I say ?"

"Nothing."An theme strikes me, as I enjoy the impression of the smooth out down in the mouth deoxyephedrine moving against my insides."But there is something you could do."

"What ? Just recite me and I'll do it."

"I vill order you later. Still villing to promise ?"

He regards me with a sure amount of suspicion."You're up to somethin ’, ain't ya ?"

"Ja. But that is all I vill say about it."

"Aw right, aw rightfulness, I promise. So preserve talkin ’."

"The bottom floor does not interest me much. I supply it vith the minimum of vhat is essential in the vay of a kitchen and a aliveness elbow room. naught fondness. Just field utilitarian items and trappings. At the far side of meat of the kitchen, I reluctantly add the doorway that goes down into the basement. It is made of thick oak, solidly built and potent. I add a boastfully iron bolt, telling myself that naught can get through that door unless I open it from my side. I feel safer once that is finished.

"In my spare part time for the next few twenty-four hour period, I devote myself to studying my little house. One corner, as you noticed, vas broken off, so I borrowed a file from one of the circus handymen and smoothed off the rough edges. Then I talked him into letting me use some paint to seduce it K, blending in vith the rest of the lawn. The business firm pleased me even more, once it appeared less damaged. I continued to furnish my lovely bedroom, adding to a greater extent and more detail to it in my mind's eye. Now and again, I forced myself to think about the basement, but I hated that percentage of my exercise.

"Shortly after that, Herr Grüber began my new training."

He started easily and slowly. A few light slaps with his handwriting against my ass, then harder and more, until I was getting a true spanking that really smart. Sometimes this would be only in my training sessions, sometimes in front of a private customer. Eventually, it would be the customer who did such things to me.

Then he would set about using something else. Wooden paddles, a belt, the dreaded riding craw that had only been used for penalisation before, and even then very seldom. Nothing that did literal damage or left much in the way of marks, but the pain was real. As with the earlier punishment I described, if I did not remain still and accept what was being done, I got more slash added.

Next I must pick up to be tied or otherwise restrained. That was frightening, leaving me feeling entirely lost and at the mercy of whoever else was there. If I had not believed Herr Grüber would continue to keep me safe from serious damage, I would have been even more terrified.

And yes, as he had said, by this time I truly wanted to do use of my little house. Somehow, the basement never got too full phase of the moon. No matter what I forced down into it, I found that there was plenty of way for more.

Vicious little clamp that pinched my cutis, then my nipple and region of my genitals. topographic point on my organic structure that seemed so innocent until the right amount of pressure applied by aught more than a finger could cause excruciating torture. All of this was done coupled with various intimate routine, so both the pain and the cristal became tortuous together in my mind.

But when he first used a knife on me, just the touch of the vertebral column of the blade as he drew it lightly across my skin lit up my brass like the lights on a Christmas tree diagram. I was absolutely panicked, but also absolutely fascinated. Rarely was I cut, and even then, not deeply, but the expectation and the fear of what might be done made up for the lack of serious pain.

By the meter the time of year was over and the Circus went to its winter quarters in Schönberg, Herr Grüber was very proud of with my progress. He fulfilled his promise of allowing me to direct on the trapeze with M'sieur Villaume and his folk, even as he continued my early breeding.

I was very democratic with some of my private client by now. They would even come in to see me in our little village, although it was rather out of the way for many of them. Once one of the more entrust customer was permitted to hire me home base for a weekend. That was frightening. I had to believe that Herr Grüber's assessment in this matter was castigate. But it all turned out well. I returned habitation with the first of many gifts I was to get from my customer : a miniature plagiariser ship in a bottle.

My trapeze moral turned out well also. As you have probably guessed, M'sieur Villaume decided that I had great gift for the trapeze. By the end of that winter, he had approached Herr Grüber with a asking to countenance me to continue my training while the circus was on the road, so long as it took seat only at times and places where no unknown were around to see me. Herr Grüber agreed readily, no doubt thinking of the day when I would be honest enough to come out in the main display and could earn a gracious salary for him, in office of being in the sideshow. I too dreamed of that day.

Privately, he let me know that my trapeze work would be contingent on my continuing to do well with my early breeding, and that I must not earmark it to interfere with the servicing of my private customers late at night, as common. That was a fussy summer, but I enjoyed it, despite some of the example he wished to learn me. I found that my experience in being hurt gave me one reward over others in learning the trapeze : I did not fear infliction as other fry did, so I did not puddle a big deal out of falling and getting hurt when I landed in the safety net wrong, to mention just one thing. brand no misunderstanding : no truly difficult strong-arm science is learned without mistakes, hurts, accidental injury, variant, sprains, and other variety of pain. Sometimes the pip painful sensation did not come from Herr Grüber's lessons at all. My little house came in handy for dealing with that also.

The beginning of the end of my parlous happiness came at the end of that summer time of year, when little Anna arrived. Circus Sonnig had moved back to its winter quarters and Herr Grüber and I had just finished moving our things into his family when he told me I would be staying for a weekend at the household of one of my customers. Conveniently, he had to go away himself over that same time in ordination to take care of some business. I thought null of it, by now an old hand at visiting the home plate of the men who paid for my inspection and repair. I had eagerly awaited this winter, when I would resume my regular classes with M'sieur Villaume, instead of the slapdash form of preparation we had resorted to during the busybodied summer months.

When I returned home plate, I learned that Herr Grüber's"business organisation"had been obtaining a new freak for his show, possibly someone to take my lieu once I was near enough to perform on the trapeze. This was, of form, the Anna I have mentioned. She was only five yr old and he had gotten her from a distant orphanage. I was certain that he had not told the people who ran the orphanage of the use he intended to give of her.

Anna was what we would now call intersexual. She had such a bombastic and well-developed clitoris that it could easily be mistaken for a member if one did not front closely. She also had a vagina, but it was not of normal size, even for a child her age. Herr Grüber did not find that out right away, as she was an inviolate virgin when he adopted her.

He planned to display her for an extra charge, as he did with the dancing girls and me, as a child epicene, which would draw a good gang. There were some He-Shes or Half-and-Halfs, as they were also called, in many sideshows, but they were all grownup and many were just men in drag who knew how to mask their virile Hammond organ so that it appeared they had a vagina in accession to a penis. It was the usage for these folks to be dressed as a male on one side of their body and female on the other. Of course, that is foolishness, as even a true intersex, something which is very rare, would not be different right down the heart in that manner.

Anna hated it when Herr Grüber tried to make her face like that. Although she knew she was unusual, she felt she was basically a normal fille, not a boy. She had long blond hair, and she cried bitterly when he cut it off on one side and made her wear out it short like a boy. He had a special outfit made up for her for the appearance, and started teaching her what she would be expected to do when the following season began. We held a few dry run with the dancing lady friend towards the end of the winter, and I showed her my subroutine and how she could do much the Sami thing and capture the audience. Her costume had a pinkish hangman's rope top and a miss's frilly shorts on one incline and just sound off blue devil shorts on the other incline. At the end of the show, she was to step out of her clothing and stand naked facing the crowd so they could see she had a member. Then she would turn around and bend over, so they could also see that the rest of her genital organ were female. Herr Grüber made her pattern that region of the show also, but she seemed mortified to be naked, and did not palm it with the natural grace and shamelessness that I did. However, I hoped she would untie up once she got used to doing it. I thought up manner of including her in my put-on during our carrying into action, in order to ease her into it.

She was too Pres Young to possess breasts, but towards the end of that winter, Herr Grüber paid a disreputable Doctor of the Church to throw in saline into the breast on her female side, so that it looked as if it had begun to develop slightly. After that, she seemed even more ashamed, if that were possible.

poor Anna did not take naturally to her training in sexual matters, as I had. I tried to advance her and persuade her to be concerted, if only because I knew matter would be sluttish for her that way. But she could not do it. I suppose I was too young to understand why she was unable to follow my representative.

I became her Quaker and her protector, to the extent that I could, trying to persuade Herr Grüber to be easygoing on her, making alibi for her whenever potential, but the piteous child was wretched, even when all she was being expected to learn was how to pleasure an adult with her hands, or to simply lie there as a customer examined her and fondled her, pretending use even if she did not feel it.

Although we each had our own small bedchamber in the house, she would often cabbage into my elbow room at Nox, if she was unhappy about something. Many a time she fell asleep in my weaponry, crying softly and almost silently, so Herr Grüber would not pick up. During the circus season, when we all lived in a house trailer, Anna and I slept in the living/dining room, on the padded keister on either incline of the table where we would all eat our meals. Herr Grüber, of course, used the sleeping room, which was also where our common soldier customers were entertained. In our winter home, there was a much larger and better furnished room where both our breeding sessions and our date with our customers took office.

Meanwhile I was still finding it relatively prosperous to learn my new lessons, even if sometimes things hurt. Herr Grüber went slowly, and the basement of my minuscule house was easily able to contain my painful sensation for most of that first off year and a half. Since Anna seemed so much more miserable than I was, I had very fiddling pity left over for myself.

I showed her my little house and tried to teach her how to do what I did with it, but she never quite got the idea of how that was supposed to wreak. Maybe she would have got done in effect if she had a slight firm of her own, but by then I could not bear to portion with mine. I needed it too much.

That spring, just before the circus was to set out out on its one-year circuit, Herr Grüber decided it was time for Anna to locomote on to actually having her vagina penetrated. Her maidenhead was unusually thick, so he finally had to resort to slicing it open with a razor.

I had a very hard meter calming her down that night. She was almost hysterical, although the pain could not have been all that hideous.

The next day during my own training sitting, I persuaded Herr Grüber to let me puzzle out with Anna for a month before he did anything else to her, promising she would form significant advancement if I were allowed to do this. He must have been getting very frustrated with her, as he finally agreed to my proposal.

I tried even harder to establish her how enjoyable sex could be. My fingers caressed her gently, my lip covered her with delicate kisses, I let her touch me and search me, teaching her all I knew about what a male organic structure could delight. I made certain her vagina was healed before I even began to touch her there. I stroked her overdeveloped clitoris, sucked it gently, touched her titty carefully, especially the saline-injected one, licking her nipples with feather-light touches of my spit. In short, I did everything I could recollect of to arouse her without hurting or frightening her. Sometimes she even seemed to enjoy it, but not with anything like the desire it brought Forth River in me.

When I thought she was ready, I caressed her vagina with my sassing, licking and sucking and finally inserting the tip of my tongue between her labia. She reacted well to that, but when I tried to spread her further with a finger's breadth, she begged me to stop.

The month was almost over by then and I knew full well that Herr Grüber would be neither overly pacify nor very patient role when he resumed her lessons himself. I coaxed, I spoke to her, I tried to secern her what she would give birth to instruct. But it was all to no service. She hated every minute of it.

I decided that this summer season was not something I could look forward to with any peachy amount of anticipation.




"Darlin ’, could we discontinue for a minute of arc ? This doesn't sound as if it's going to end soon and I need to take a piss."

"Vhat ? Oh - uh - sure. As a matter of fact, so do I."

He unwraps his weapon from around me and gets up to go to the bathroom. He is still peeing when I come in also, walking with my buttocks clenched together to avoid allowing the cud inside me to come loose. That can be quite a trick at times. I stand beside him, waiting my go at the gutter. For the low time since we have been fan, I feel vaguely self-conscious about being naked in straw man of Logan. Or maybe I am simply embarrassed over the things I have just told him.

"So I suppose while all that training was going on,"he asks, shaking off the last few drops and stepping over to the lavatory to wash his hands and get a drink of urine,"no one else in the circus noticed what was happening to you two minor ?"

I shrug, then start to pee, holding the butt plug in place with my gratuitous hand as I do so.

"Some people may give birth suspected, but they did not know for sure vhat vent on after the main appearance vas over for the night. Many of the performer packed up and left as early as they could for the next stop on our route, so they vere often not around by the fourth dimension my special client arrived."

"eve so."

"If anyone had suspected, they vould not give dared to challenge Herr Grüber directly. Anna and I were his freaks, and he had much influence vith the proprietor of the circus, Mr. Sonnig. rumour had it that the owner, whom ve seldom saw, had borrowed a hearty sum of money from him to pay off a gambling debt. This may be straight, or it may not. All I know for sure is that no one crossed Herr Grüber."

Logan nodded."Yeah, I can believe that. By the way, did the man have a first figure ?"

"Oh ja. Max Ernst Rudolph Grüber vas his full name. But ve all had
to scream him Herr Grüber or confront his anger."

"I see."

Now it is my turn to wash my deal, as Logan stands there watching. I bring in my dry throat and take a few swallow of piss from the cup, then we return to our bed.

With his munition once more securely around me, I no longer have that sick-to-my-stomach look that is shame. My lover is not disgusted with me, as I had feared he would be. Ah, but he does not yet know the whole story. Perhaps when he does, he will not still screw me so much.


"Some of my fright for the summer came dependable. Although Anna eventually learned to cover the sideshow performances by feigning a reasonable measure of enthusiasm, she vas not at all fix to entertain her own customer using anything beyond the basic hand techniques and simply being displayed and fondled. There vere alvays a few customers who enjoyed doing such things to a short female child who vas clearly unvilling and afraid, so she vas not entirely vithout pecuniary value.

"I, of course, had been able to interest that sort of customer by simply pretending to be terrified, and even pretending to resist if that vas vhat vas vanted. Herr Grüber vould say me ahead of time vhat he had discovered the customer vould prefer and so pay extra to see. I could even sham to enjoy myself and beg for more, vhen in truth the but thing I vanted sometimes vas for it to be over and done vith. It all depended on how practically it hurt. I could fake sexual climax very convincingly vhen I thought that vould end the session. Since I vas only eleven years old and still too Cy Young to ejaculate, my body vould not grass the truth. I vas vell avare that vould alteration sometime in the next few years, but it vas too soon to vorry about it."

As things turned out, Herr Grüber had no more luck coaxing Anna to let him open her vagina than I did. Rather than upsetting her during the summer season, he decided early on to hold off until she was a short sometime, to the relief of us all. I could tell he was not happy about having to do this though.

There were many joyful moments for me during that summer, but on the whole, it was scummy. On the soundly side, I was able to continue my moral on the trapeze, even if only sporadically. During a very rainy twosome of days when the entire circus was closed down, M'sieur Villaume even gave me a probability to see what I could do on the high gear conducting wire, arranging a tryout lesson with one of our tightrope walkers. I did not have a veneration of top, as many people do, and I have a unspoilt sensory faculty of balance. I already knew how to film a fall into the safe net, so I was somewhat ahead of the secret plan before I even started. Just as I did with the trapeze, I loved being up there. In fact, I hated to come down and face the rest of my life.

Meanwhile, back in our laggard, my lessons in accepting pain sensation took a play for the worse, when Herr Grüber decided it was metre he should begin showing me how to encounter delight, and also earn more money for him, by inflicting painfulness on others. I denied that such a thing could be true, of course, but he only said I was jerky and primitive, and he would score sure that I learned otherwise. In addition to the occasional customer who enjoyed such affair, I had also to drill my lessons on Anna.

At first base, I did what Herr Grüber instructed me to, although only to avoid his wrath if I did not. He had me do small-scale matter to Anna, sometimes to provide a show for the private customers, sometimes during her own grooming Roger Huntington Sessions. Much to my ignominy, I found that I could often find pleasure in obeying him. But it was nothing so tremendous. Perhaps just spanking her lightly, or holding her still while the customer fondled her, or saying nasty thing to her while Herr Grüber tried in vain to arouse her in various ways. But as the things he ordered me to do became more reprehensible, I was still afraid to refuse, and my own foreplay became shamefully obvious at clock time, proving to me that he had been right : one could indeed find pleasure in causing pain to someone else.

Now, of course, I know a lot more about this sort of thing. I know there are those who do it because they enjoy it. I find nothing improper with that, so long as it is truly the will of both parties, and they are old enough and competent enough to open inform consent. But this was not our situation. I perhaps might have consented to much that was done to me, but it would own been in view of the fact that I knew I would then be rewarded with more trapeze object lesson. In fact, at one point, I told Herr Grüber that I did not take care so much for myself, but I could not stand to wound Anna any more.

To my surprise, he did not become wild, but rather offered to coiffe deterrent example for me on the high telegram that coming winter, if I would be a just obedient boy and pleased him with my performance for the balance of the season. I am ashamed to say I agreed. I have since learned that I am not the first someone to own sold his someone for something he greatly desired.

The matter he asked of me over the following couple of month became more cruel, but it happened slowly and insidiously, so that it was hard to tie a crease between not so bad and worse.

Anna withdrew more and more into herself, no longer able-bodied to commit me entirely, even though she knew I was as much at Herr Grüber's mercy as she was herself.

When I was instructed to pee on her at the request of a client, I felt very uncomfortable with it, but I consoled myself with the theme that at to the lowest degree I was not hurting her. Besides, that had been done to me now and then, without bothering me unduly. In fact, men had peed into me, which was much bad.

My desire to please Herr Grüber diminished during that clock time, even though I knew I had to do it if I ever wanted to become a trapeze artist, much less perform on the high wire. I started to resent his demands, More for Anna's sake than my own. But then I would think of how he had told me that he had been through all this breeding himself at the hand of his own father, so he was doing no worse to us than what had been done to him. And he had not had the pass of his heart's affectionate desire waiting for him when it was all over. Sometimes I pitied him for that, and for the fact that he was as very much of a victim as I was. I think now that I would have been well off just hating him. It would have been much less confusing to my child's mind.

Most of my even client were reasonably kind to me, and I had more chances to go with them to their plate for the night when the circus was in the vicinity of where they lived. I started to see what other masses's lives were like, and it was a Book of Revelation to me. However, there were men among my customers who were truly vicious and hateful. I dreaded seeing them come, especially if I knew Anna was to be involved in the proceedings.

I got through the relaxation of the season by concentrating on the rewards that would be mine during the winter, when I could drop much of my clock time high above the rest of the world, doing what I knew I had been born to do.

So it was that my expectant joy was inexorably linked to my not bad
horror --

-- until at lastly the time came when I reached my limit.

It was after the end of that summertime time of year, and once again we had moved back into our wintertime home. I was looking forward to resuming habitue trapeze lessons and maybe even starting to memorise the tightrope, once everything had settled down. That was when Herr Grüber decided it was time to stop going easy on Anna. Like it or not, she would finally have to allow her vagina to be used.

He summoned us both into the training elbow room that day. I knew what was going to materialise the minute I walked in. The windowpane shutters were tightly closed, and the walls were hung with noise-dampening padded fabric. I had only ever seen this done before when he expected to be doing something that might lead in someone, most often me, screaming. It would not do for our neighbor to suspect what was going on. Of course of instruction, I tried very hard never to scream because I knew it only made thing speculative, but Anna had not yet reached that level of self-discipline.

"No ! Herr Grüber, please do not do this,"I started to protest.

"quiet, Kurt. You are here to abide by and avail out, that's all."

Anna had already begun whimpering. She ran to me, throwing her arms around me and clutching desperately at my waist. I could find her trembling.

His middle flared with anger. He went over to the shelf where all of our equipment was kept, and came back carrying the riding crop with the red string braided into it. Setting it conspicuously down on the board side by side to the bed, he turned to us and ordered me to work Anna over to him.

I had petty choice. Besides, even if I had refused, he would only hold walked over to us and taken her from me.

"Good boy. Now lift her up onto the bed."

I did that too, although her tormented supplication tore at my fondness. He began fitting her diminutive wrists and ankles into leather restraints, leaving her spreadeagle and naked. ( We knew better than to wear any clothes when we were told to appear in this room. )

"Kurt, do anything and everything you can think of that might get her aroused. The proficient you do, the less this is going to ache her."

I did not ask to be told that, as I knew all too well that it was lawful. As I had done during that month when I had tried to school her, I did everything in my power to stimulate her dead body to want this. She was so scared that it was not of practically use, but it was not for lack of my trying. The whole fourth dimension, I had to listen to her moan and beg Herr Grüber to let her go.

"All right, boy. That's enough. Any one of your female person customer would have been ready and willing long ago, if you performed as well on them as you just did on her."

"My regular customers are grown vimmen, not little girls,"I said without thinking as I slid off the bed.

He glared at me. I went down on my knees and bowed my headway."Bitte, entschuldigen Sie, mein Herr,"I apologized formally, as we were expected to do in a place such as this."It is not my place to say such things to you."

"Accepted. Do not let it happen again."

I rose to my animal foot and stood there, waiting for whatever would come next, reminding myself that I had to make out to keep my mouth shut no matter what happened.

From the table beside the bed, he picked up a pocket-sized firm charge plate dildo, obviously meant for use by someone attempting anal retentive penetration for the first meter, barely the width of a fair sex's pinky finger. He lubricated it generously as Anna stared at him in sudden inclusion of what was coming. When he rubbed some of the Lapplander fluid between her wide-spread legs, she began screaming.

He tried to curb her down with one bridge player on her hips, but she squirmed too much."Kurt, hold her still !"

Unwillingly, I climbed onto the bed beside her and tried to pin her hips, but my slim weight was not sufficient to overcome her hysterical struggling.

"Here, boy. You take the dildo. I'll hold her."

Horrified, I pulled back."Nein !"

"Do what I tell you. Or forget about any more moral on the trapeze or high wire this winter."Seeing the revulsion in my optic, he added,"Or ever again."

I would like to be able-bodied to say that I only obeyed him because I thought I could at least be blue-blooded with her than he would be, but that would not be the total truth.

I took the dildo, waited for Herr Grüber to get a solid hold on the struggling girl, then carefully opened her labia with my former bridge player and started working it slowly into her minuscule vagina. Her screech intensified as I pushed it bass inside her, even though I was massaging her clitoris with the initiatory fingerbreadth of the hand that held her open, still hoping to make this easier on her by arousing her. I did not get the dildo in very far before I could feel strong resistance.

Herr Grüber was smiling at me."commodity boy. Go deeper."

"I can not. I have hit the end."

"That's impossible."

I shrugged helplessly, pushing the bottom of the diaphysis a tiny bit harder and letting him see that it would not go.

Anna's screams had died out by now, subsiding into despairing sobs. She lay still.

belongings her with one hand, he motioned my manpower out of the way and took hold of the dildo himself, pushing slightly. She gave a sharp scream at that.

"This can't be,"he said.

I shrugged again and keep on silent. Best not to point out that I had told him so.

He grabbed her once again with both manus."move it around from English to side. See if you can adulterate her a petty, now that we've at to the lowest degree gotten it in."

"Herr Grüber -"

"Don't even say it, child."

I did as he said, eliciting a few more screeching from Anna despite trying to be gentle.

"All right, take it out. That's enough for today."

By now, there were tears running down my face. I tried to wipe them away without letting him see, as I removed the dildo and turned away to set it back on the tabular array. My eye caught on the riding harvest. There would be punishment to come up, that was sealed. I could tell by the quality of his spokesperson when he told me to unblock Anna from the restraints.

That done, he set her on her feet next to the bed and ordered brusquely,"bend dexter over the side of the bed, girl."

She complied automatically, as if she could not comprehend what was going to be done.

"You know full well that you have broken formula Number Two, Anna, by not only refusing to do as you were told but also carrying on in such a opprobrious manner. For this, you have earned a punishment of five strokes."

He picked up the riding craw and swung his arm back for the get-go stroke.

I could not resist it anymore."Nein ! !"I said, and this fourth dimension it was a command, not a plea. I jumped in front of him and grabbed his arm as it came forward, forcing him to stumble sideways and free fall to the story, taking me with him. The grammatical construction on his case was no more stunned than the one I expect was on mine as we stared at each other.

He recovered first, shaking me off and getting to his animal foot."Kurt,"he said with delusory mildness,"am I to infer that you don't bid me to punish Anna ?"

I nodded as I also stood up, knowing I was in genuine deep shite now.

"Very well."

No, he was not giving in. Something unsound was going to encounter, I knew it.

"In that typesetter's case, you shall parcel out her penalty instead of me."He held out the riding crop.

I shook my headway, keeping my hands resolutely down by my sides.

"You are refusing to do what I tell you ?"

I knew what was coming when he phrased it that way : either I obeyed, or I was guilty of the like misdemeanour that Anna had been.

"I vill not do it."Without waiting for his answer, I went to the side of the bed and leaned forward over it, while arching my ass up toward my head as far as I possibly could, leaving my bare ass and the spine of my thigh as his target.

Anna whimpered.

"Girl, stand up over here and view. I want you to see what happens to him as a issue of your unsuccessful person to behave properly."

The leather slashed down across my butt. I clenched my teeth firmly on the scream that rose to my back talk, knowing it would only result in Sir Thomas More strokes being added to my penalisation if I did not keep lull.

"For your insolence -"

The adjacent stroke hit my thigh. Again, I stifled a cry of bother, trying to summon the image of my little house and send the pain down to the basement. But Herr Grüber did not pass me a chance to agitate my figure of mind.

"You will not be permitted trapeze or high wire lessons -"

The next reversal landed again on my buttock, criss-crossing the first.

"Not this winter -"

The next did the same across my thigh. I must not move. I must be quiet. I must. I must.

"Or ever again."

It sank slowly into my pain-fogged mind what he had just said, but I had no time to respond before I heard his future command.

"Stand up straight and turn around. eye closed."

I obeyed quickly, knowing there was one Sir Thomas More stroke to amount but not knowing where it would put down. He had never done this before.

He let me stand like that for what seemed an eternity, but was probably only about half a min. When the blow finally came, it was across my lowly abdominal cavity. The painfulness shot through me like a hot branding iron. I fell to the floor, clutching my gut and moaning as softly as I could.

"Get up, boy. Anna, lean over the bed. Don't make me stimulate to tell apart you twice."

I struggled to my feet, hang stunt woman and still holding my belly. Hot tears leaked from my eyes.

This time he forced the riding crop into my mitt, curling my finger's breadth around it."Nein,"I whispered."Bitte, Herr Grüber. please !"

"Do as I say. If you perform well, I may permit your moral after all. You'd like that, wouldn't you ?"His voice was fluid, confident, sure enough that I wouldn't refuse this meter."If you don't obey, you'll get another penalty just like the utmost, but adjacent meter there will be no offer of rescinding your spear carrier penalisation, and we'll play this game once again. Eventually, you will impart in. Either way, Anna will receive her punishment also, so you gain nothing by prolonging it."

I knew he was right. Silently, I nodded my head. I could not even hope to diminish Anna's pain by not hitting her very hard, since he would be able to recite if I tried that. I might as well deliver now and at least be allowed my lessons again, I told myself firmly.

I glanced at Anna, where she stood bending forward over the edge of the bed with her legal tender bottomland exposed, silent now, as she finally seemed to realize that parole and screams would only piddle matter worse for her by gaining her extra strokes.

For just a second, I truly felt the desire to hurt her, and not only because of the lessons I so wanted, but just so that I could sense the pleasure that others had found in hurting me. Besides, had it not been her fault for disobeying Herr Grüber that had gotten me into this billet in the showtime property ? She deserved what I was about to do to her.

But still I hesitated. Anna was my ally. She had trusted me, even when I would avail Herr Grüber, because she knew I had no alternative. I did not desire to do this to her.

I told myself I had no alternative.

I straightened up and raised my arm to strike her -- and found myself gazing down at a young interlingual rendition of myself, in the Lapplander perspective as Anna, mutely waiting to be cruelly hurt. And in that moment, I knew I could not do this to her. I wished with all my nerve and soul that I was not here, in this position and in this post, and that I had not sunk so low as those who had treated me in this same way.

The riding crop dropped from my hand and I bowed my head in the full expectation that it vould be picked up by Herr Grüber and used yet again on me.

I wanted only to be gone from there -- - and suddenly I was gone. Gone through a terrifying place of darkness, loneliness, and emptiness, out of which I returned, shaking, grisly, weak, still hurting, and astonished to find oneself I was not where I had been. I threw up, then I fainted. But when I awakened, I realized I was somewhere out in the forested Benny Hill that surrounded Schönberg. I could see the Town below me.

I did not know how this had happened, but I was sure of only one thing : I would not go back, not even if it cost me my life to appease away. I turned my back on the town and ran as fast and as far as I could into the afforest, stopping only when I collapsed exhausted to the ground.



I pull myself up out of the morass of my memory. I cover my facial expression with my hands, then tend my head against Logan's bureau while I try to roll up my wits.

I become aware of his arms around me, one hand reaching up to stroke the back of my capitulum. In a petty while, I begin to experience More myself again. I lower my mitt and give up myself to relax. There. I have told him. I can do nothing more now but wait for him to respond.

Then his early bridge player moves up my back, joining the one already there and tangling themselves in my hair as he pulls my typeface up to his and into a kiss.

Very quickly, the kiss deepens, and the hand that were in my tomentum go down to my back, clutching me up against him so hard that he almost seems to fear that I will get up and run away. Whatever happens, I begin to feel that he will at least not rule out me outright, as I had feared he might. Hope begins to brighten my heart. My branch are pinned to my sides by his hold on me, but I can still bend my forearms around his shank, adding my backside to the embrace also. His penis responds to the pressure level of my body against his.

Then his second joint thrust between my legs, finally pressing against the fanny plug, which is still in situation, but seems to sustain been forgotten until recently. My fears evaporate, wiped away by his desire, and my own. I am not rejected. I am not despised. Gott sei Dank, I am still wanted and loved !

Under ordinary context, this would moderate to the usual sex. But these circumstances are not average and that is not what I have in judgement. I put both hands on his chest and push him away. He stares at me in evident surprise.

I smile back, with mischief-making clear on my face and in my glowing eyes."I told you vhat you vanted to love about my childhood. Now you must do vhat you promised and prove to me that you do not think I am a craven covard."

"You really necessitate me to prove it ? Even though I've told you there's nil that could possibly make me conceive that of you ?"

"Vords, as the saying goes, are not expensive."

"I think you mean they're cheap."

"Vhatever."I wave away his correction.

"What is it you want me to do, darlin'? Just tell me and it's yours."

"I am happy you feel that vay. It is very childlike. Let me love you for a change."

"You think that would prove anything ?"But he is stalling for meter and I know it.

"Ja. Because you vould never let soul you thought of as a veakling top you."

"OK, you're right. Do it,"he concedes gracefully."In the deity words of someone I know very well and respect very highly, ‘ Fich mich ’."

I can not help but laugh.

While I have not had very much hazard to work out the detail over the endure couple of hours, I have been thinking for quite a long time now what I would do if I were to give birth this chance. So I do not hesitate.

"Lie facedown with your ass in the air."

He complies without protest, while I take a few second base to take away the butt end plug and set it aside, since it would be close to insufferable to do what I intend to do and still be able to keep it in stead.

Then I check to see that Mount Logan has done as he was told. It is so strange to see him in this position that I take a few extra moments to savor the scene from all directions."Be for sure to place your fanny off to one side, so it does not get in my vay."

"Uh, Elf -"

I giggle as I interrupt him."Let me guess : you do not make a rear. How sad for you."

"Very funny. Let's get down to business concern, huh ? I feel silly in this position."

"You do not look silly, mein Schatz."I open the tail drawer of my nightstand and assume out something I've been saving for a hanker time : an supernumerary gravid cyanide boxing glove. Of track, I can not put it onto my hand properly, but I know I can get my finger into the golf hole with a bit of wiggling. Next I pick up the can of Crisco from its box on my nightstand."Spread your legs a little vider, so I can fit betveen them."

He does so."Hmph !"I reply scornfully."Not very vide, if you ask me."I settle down into a easy crouch between his feet.

"Can we dispense with the wisecrack, darlin'?"

"I did not ask for your suggestions, did I now ?"I purr softly, giving him a rather self-colored slap across the buttocks.

"Ow ! Hey !"he protests, twisting his head around to look at me. Surprise register on his cheek as he sees me still struggling to put on my mitt."Uh, Elf, what do you project to do with that ?"

"Do not be concerned. I vill not be fist-fucking you. This is not the clock time for that and I know it."I lean forward a bit, reaching around him with my ungloved manus and taking clench of his half-hard penis, circling it with my fingers and pollex and moving up and down in a maddeningly tardily rhythm. By now, he knows better than to complain. He begins to go his hips, trying to take a shit me speed up, but I do not.

Instead, I put my other hand between his second joint and grapple his scrotum, squeezing gently in that Lapplander sensual but too irksome beat. I know full fountainhead that I am both arousing him and frustrating him at the Saami clip, since I am not moving as quickly as he likes. Nevertheless, he bears his distress in virile silence, with nothing but a grunt or a groan now and then.

When I feel his penis growing harder and his sac tightening, I flip my tail up over my shoulder and institute it down to lightly advert his puckered anus with the tip, stroking in fine lines outwards from the opening in the center. It does not take in him long to clear that he is being touched in too many places at once. He draws the obvious conclusion.

"Uh - Kurt - you're not plannin'to use the end of your tail to -- ?"

"And if I vere ? I can curl the sides inwards a fiddling, but it is still not very flexible and the edges are rather sharp. But after all, you vill heal quickly, von't you ?"

He takes a bass, start breathing spell, then is mum for a count of six, as I continue calmly with what I am doing.

"well, OK. If that's what it takes to convince you."

I can see him steel himself against anticipated unpleasantness.

"Relax, darlin ’,"I say in a boisterous approximation of his voice."I'm just teasin'ya."

"Why you short - !"

"Now, now. Not a good idea to visit the one in charge nasty name calling,"I remind him, before getting back to the stage business at hand.

After giving his now-tight scrotum a final squeeze, I scoop up a nice glob of the solid white fat with my gloved middle finger, then rub it against his first step as my fundament beats a hasty retirement back to its usual resting blank space behind me. I take my sentence pushing my finger into him, but I really do not involve to, since he is already opening to ask it in. I need the mitt to protect the inside of his rectum from my fingernails. Although not particularly sharp, they are sound and rather long, so they are easily capable of tearing the lining.

He is pushing back against me now, wanting more."Omigod darlin ’, that's so commodity ! Oh, yeah !"

I insert my second finger and he growls deep in his throat, the sound that I know means he is getting closer to climax.

seeing him like this, feeling his cock in my other hand, punishing and torture, knowing this is how he usually sees me during sex, the audio of his vox, the smelling of our consistency mingled together, adds up to a powerful experience that I have not had very often. I feel the spasm of increasing desire figure inside me, pulling my body rigorous as each one runs its course. I am breathing hard now, my mouth candid to get more air, my hint shaky with longing.

And I am ready to take him. Still stroking his prick with one hired hand, I remove my fingers from his ass and replace them with my own hard organ.

Ah Gott ! He is soused around me, even after having just had two of my outsized fingers inside him. He pushes back against me, driving my cock deep into his consistency. I am surrounded with a combustion warmth, clutching me, pulling me in, although I am already buried to the hilt. We move together now, him meeting my every drive.

I come up a short higher in my crouch, drawing on the muscles of my legs to add strength to my drive, but he does not complain, only braces himself more sturdily. I am leaning forward over his back, one bridge player holding his hips, the former still working his member. There is no holding back now, no slow and sensuous comb-out. We are like two animals, lost to thought, only superstar existing in our stallion creation. He encloses me and does not shrink from what I am. He accepts me joyously, demanding more, more. And I meet his demands.

I am close now, but he still needs more. I can not make out much longer. Desperate, my hired hand on his cock motion forward, until my ovolo can reach for his exposed and dripping glans. I rub my thumb roughly over his prick, letting my fingernail press briefly against it. He jerks and screams harshly, as I feel his ass clamp down on me grueling with the first gear spasm of his orgasm. I let go and find my own climax starting. My breathing time stops. I exhale with a long wavering moan as I fall over the boundary of cristal. For too legal brief a moment, there is cipher but jarring spurts of pleasure running through my entire body but focused in my inguen.

When it is over, I collapse on top of his vertebral column, gasping. My implements of war wrap around his waist as he supports my weight easily on his helping hand and knees. As my penis relaxes and slips out of him, I say softly,"Whew ! I could get to like this, mein Schatz."

He rolls over sideways, loosening my suitcase enough so that he can turn in my subdivision. The future thing I know, I am flat on my back, my consistence pinned beneath him with both of my handwriting held above my headway by one of his, while he glares down at me with a triumphant smiling and growling,"wagerer not get too used to it, bub. It's not like it's gon na happen all the time."

"I know. But it happened now."

"Yeah, sure did. You're not half bad at bein'on top, Elf."

"I vill take that as a compliment on my performance."

"Ya better, ‘ cause that's what it is."He rolls off of me, running his manpower through his wild pilus."I could sure use a near cigar just now."

"Logan,"I begin to protest, but he waves it away.

"I know, I know. Not inside our room. I was just sayin ’."He grins at me."Well, now do you believe I haven't changed my attitude toward you, no issue what you may have done as a kid ?"

"Ja. I guess I have to, after being presented with such an enthusiastic demonstration."

"commodity,"he declares, as if that solves everything. I suppose in many ways it does."I'll lay odds you never got this much pleasure from confession before, did ya, Elf ?"

I laugh, but he is redress : it was a sorting of confession."No, I did not. Or at least not this kind of pleasure. forgiveness of one's sinning is a very pleasant flavor, you know."

"I wouldn't know,"he replies, suddenly life-threatening."Sometimes I wish I did. I'd be glad if I could even remember all my sinning, much to a lesser extent have them forgiven."

There is nothing I can say to that, so I say nothing. For a piddling while, we both lie there in silence, thinking our own thinking. As I sort out what has gone on between us over the conclusion distich of twenty-four hour period, a disquieting melodic theme occurs to me.

"What's the subject, darlin'? Your verbalism just got eldritch and your scent changed."

"Logan, I just realized that some of vhat I feel for you is a mirror image of vhat I felt towards Herr Grüber !"

"Yeah. I get that. But it's not all bad. It got you here beside me, didn't it ?"

"I do not vant to be here, if it is only because of vhat that man did to me !"

"Sure ya do. Whatever happened to make you what you are, it's role of you now. Is it so haywire to hope honey and acceptance, reassurance and ease, the pleasure of sex ? Is it so ill-timed to want to give yourself to someone else, and to be loved for that ?"

"Vell, no -"

He took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him squarely."Listen to me now, Kurt, and pay aid. What happened back then is over. What you do with it now is up to you. commend that saying about the twig and the tree ?"

I nod."Ja. The one that vas confused as to vhether it meant a seedling or a tvig."

"Uh - yeah. The sprig, or the seedling if you prefer, doesn't have to persist in to develop the same way it was turn, you know, once the pressure has been released."

"But I feel broken, damaged, used. I can not unmake that."I close my eyes and lower my head.

He shook me just slightly."Open your optic and look at me. Do it."I obey."Do you seriously think I'm not every bit as damaged as you are, if not more ? Do you conceive I haven't been used ? That I'm not broken ? At least you can commend what happened, so you can begin to understand why you're like you are. I can only remember parts of my past, and those parts are bad enough. The truth can hurt, but not knowing can bruise even more."

"But I do not vant this to be character of our relationship !"

"Too late for that, darlin ’. It already is. I want you as you are. Aw hell, I desire you partly because you're what you are. I can't supporter that. I don't want you to vary, just because some of that came from what was done to you in the past. You got that ?"

"Ja. I do."I smile as some of the weight slides off my shoulders. Not all of it, but some."I hear you loud and transparently."

He just shakes his head in exasperation."That's solve, Kurt, not transparently."

I twine my blazonry and my tail around him and deplume him closer."Das Wei ich, mein Schatz. I know."



GERMAN TRANSLATION persona 1

Mein Gott ! My God !

Nein, Herr Grüber. Bitte, nein ! No, Mr. Grüber. Please, no !

nicht wahr ? Isn't that right/true ? ( outmoded usage, but Kurt likes it. )

Scheisse ! poop !

Wunderbar ! marvellous !

Fick mich. Fuck me.

mein Schatz my dear/darling/sweetheart ( literally, my hoarded wealth )

Jetzt ! Now !

natürlich naturally

mein Freund my Quaker

besonderes Dämon-Kind peculiar demon-child

kluger kleiner Teufel clever little rile

Gott hilf mir God help me


High German version Interlude

mein kleines Dämon-Kind my little demon-child

mein kleiner Teufel my little devil

Verstehst du ? Do you understand ?

nicht wahr ? Isn't it admittedly ? ( Old employment, but Kurt likes it. )

mein Freund my friend

Lass uns gehen. Let's go.



GERMAN displacement Part 2

Macht's nichts. It doesn't matter.

Bitte, entschuldigen Sie. Please, amnesty me.

Gott sei Dank ! Thank God !

Fich mich Fuck me

Das Wei dynasty ich, mein Schatz. I know that, my darling/sweetheart/dear
( Literally, my gem. )




STORY ARC - In Order


Something a footling Different
As the branchlet is Bent
Pray for Us Sinners
With Nothing on My Tongue
You Win, Elf
nether region Hath No Fury