I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the Hellenic fashion of a landed Gentleman while riding in a tolerably voguish carriage pulled by a equate pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in tempestuousness crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a bare Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty style as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the lame sir, at the walloping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rightfulness he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain self-control of my ridiculously marvelous hat..

'' I could get a mouthful for this whoremonger ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` well than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your drive, you better let me ram ! ``

We changed piazza and also changed coat and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a respectable slug and swung into the square toes, thank god Barrington was alert because a boil sight of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a wheel there should have been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a suspension in Bodmin in August, for a great wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the totally market square was packed with all classes and upon that stage a serving skirt was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or shift ripped from her and dangling from the drawing string around her waist and her mask leather clad tormenter, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely exposed breasts and the teat thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a high beam high above her head which served to harbor her so she could do nada but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist smoothing iron from which a trail of pedigree seeped already.

The crew were transfix and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a world whipping was the height of their season, and all classes were award, merchants and tike, worker and aristocracy indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating room set up for the purpose, the God Almighty Graham, his son, by his incline and the madam Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the gentlewoman Catherine II.

'' We 'll tether the horses and take the air back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the perambulator through a T round and tethered the team outside the Dragon Inn.

The maiden was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Grant the jurist of the Trentham court of assize was mounting the stair to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled concourse, `` His Grace Earl Leslie Howard told me to lend oneself the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall tack again to find the penalty I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` note of hand well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that punishment should never the LE be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmuration, `` Have you seen that I Judge Grant am a man of my countersign and all are peer in my motor lodge, that the down maid and gamey Lady can expect equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of approval. `` That the peeress Catherine received no taste when she abused her trust and slip a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five years toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving wench was the lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six calendar month has she toiled in the theatre and six more shall she labour, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she concede as you all heard, but she will not allow her guilt, will not concede, will not apologise and without attrition there can be no leniency, no easy life as a house servant so shall she proceed as the small farm girl until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her Labour Party for her father to renounce, I suggest she may induce found the antipode preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his spokesperson rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not slip. ``

'' That 's Catherine the Great ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The missy you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my capitulum and center, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her tomentum was no longer neatly cut and her cheeks were now not painted but naturally blood-red and her shoulder firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an smoothing iron chastity belt.

A great laugh arose and shake up Catherine from her out immobility and she grabbed her bust smock around her, desperate to keep the modesty that in verity was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the tear rails remained in the skank of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really Nice. ``

I realised she had an atomic number 26 collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the phase and chained barefoot behind a dung pushcart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine II, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful appendage, but by and by we made progress until at duration the yokel riding the pushcart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could proceed at its best tread which in all honesty was no better than when Catherine of Aragon had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordship pig farm, set away from the main theater and farm because of the feeling it was a low rock built edifice with a stone tile roof on lumber, and there in the mud and filth lived his lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine of Aragon chained as she was to an branding iron in the rampart which I noted his Lordships broker fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your sake here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the gentlewoman Catherine is so deal. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the residual, '' he said and he tore away the last of her wearing apparel leaving her naked, `` She 'll get plenty of slops come sunup and she can enjoy a life of easiness, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` well-nigh certainly, skillful day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my father 's and choose the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadow and pastures my founding father pretended to the macrocosm that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a time in my young person when my don spoke to me earnestly, `` bathroom, '' he said, `` You are the one-time son of a moment son, you have a thoroughly name but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own luck, shall you join the reserves, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and travel the humanity in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And tie a princess ? ``

'' No the dame Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in the true at that time I had barely exchange two dozen words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's girl ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Joseph Henry lent the money for my Education Department and I attended Salford University and studied geology and interpersonal chemistry and the way to build honour of the wanted metal with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my education progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill give I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at habitation, a abbreviated spell of dances and fete, and I saw the Lady Catherine of Aragon often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a rich suer to woo her, but for the patch my ship's company sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor nowadays and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a portion in the New earth and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not stand for to pass penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with investment trust or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine of Aragon, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a great relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore null would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new existence that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with modest disinterest that father watched Barrington drive the carriage up to our firm and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to view its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as star sign that it was as a mere rider in a hire conveyance rather than the man of subject matter as I appeared.

It was Mother that rushed to greet me, `` whoremaster where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your lot ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a circumstances of a thousand Lebanese pound and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining flatware, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought handing over to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under chieftain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open sea I was rendered incapable with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships Witwatersrand and had to limp into Newlyn for mending zilch would rush me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not order you that as the oldest son of a 2nd son, you have a good epithet but no fortune, and to make your own hazard by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes founding father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and jaunt the man in hunt of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a slap-up ignominy you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father I worked the Wheal Claire mine, chieftain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found silver grey. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out jumper cable seams and gave focus, just above the water he said, and there it was a dilute seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a bundle of candles, and I recognised the silver medal bearing ore and shell my own rock by standard candle light, and made my own superman using my training to the to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock and contrive my own silver metal bar, but the vein was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch expansion slot in the rock candy and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old aspect turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that ash gray line clean and jerk as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by piece moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to test it was indeed silverish and as an parenthesis we made rings and gaud by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling trinkets gang and pieces of ash grey and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed portion of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the nervure any promote and I sold percentage until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't citation I sent my first ring to dame Catherine, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro assay office and I sent it anonymously but within the internal set I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should bed she was in my persuasion always.

'' A Fairy report, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an surplus place set at dinner party Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a pack, '' begetter said, `` A bauble from gentlewoman Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a hearty silver medal doughnut, '' female parent said, '' From madam Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to imagine you thought to hook up with her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, Lady Fowler would have forgotten the whole thing of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' Mother said, `` All social club attended, the evaluator, judge subsidization, insisted that the law were maintain for her as for the lowest order and when it was all over he found her shamed and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her title of respect and whipped four times at equinoxes or the near Sabbatum thereto and should serve as Lady Fowler 's servant for a yr and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hog in a field ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend hogg, '' female parent squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a annotation to the jurist. '' Father-God added.

'' And the jurist ordered her to tire an branding iron chastity rap ! '' Mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' William Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the prison cell, it was deplorable, she came with her founding father and mother and sis and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispering started that she would n't be flogged at all his goodwill paid for a level to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the judge work her to the lame on the Saturday of the equinoctial point all dressed up, but chained workforce and ft and there they had the hangman strip her to her under fracture, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a fireplace going and they rivetted an branding iron collar around her neck like any common criminal and hung it from a shaft of light. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable tintinnabulation, old-timer silver, and the hangman took up the whiplash and was merciless, left and right in surrogate apoplexy, first he bared her bum so we could see the whang and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed origin into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front line. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled operating expense so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm free .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father-God said memory, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's goo spreading drag up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of course being a amercement gentlewoman, ''

mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on sett and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all variety of foulness at her. ``

'' They put a dismissal around her to veil her nudeness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her slumber and live with the squealer, she measures out their swill, some say she share it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' Mother said, `` The yokels used to like to torment her but they do n't see the pointedness anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' beginner added, `` Rock breaking, which is humankind work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To think you wanted to have your hat up to a common malefactor, she 'll have to turn a retainer or get hitched with a rube, '' female parent said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such matter being a other Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Henry Watson Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all rightfield. '' female parent insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have got no penury of her dowry. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of row she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't appear right when they brought her into the lame behind the dung go-cart on mid summer day and the smell was something awfully, so last week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad shimmer, a filthy hayseed in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls surplus pusher, but the lower orders loved it, especially when the knack man ripped the garb off her and showed the under-things of a very well lady that the bring down orders may go a life without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her teats, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white-hot where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' beginner asked.

'' My ally Mr Barrington had business sector in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very lucky boy, '' mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your infatuation you may have wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her portion Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A grand ginzo, eh, sweeten the oral contraceptive pill eh ! all her demands and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not muster the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less pathological. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my working clothes and borrowed founding father 's sawbuck for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a bend I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity whack, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a strong bite. ''

'' A kiss then, a easy caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigswill sack for a duster but it was wanton and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not break away you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a kernel pie, and for that I shall admit that you may fondle, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have shrewd tooth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall play, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you play along me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her cuff articulatio talocruralis to the sty wall, `` I am afraid I am poorly. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I be intimate you ? '' she asked.

'' You are dame Catherine of Aragon, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a by living, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An protagonist, and a essence pie you shall have, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for PIE ? '' she asked, `` Pies not promise will win my philia. ``

I went away in search of pies, I bought a slice at the Red Panthera leo and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so skillful, lovesome food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you hope more than then lure me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water system from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my tit ? '' she asked, `` As the bumpkin do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her slip from her breast and bent my head.

Her pap stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not excruciate me with gentle kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not eff me for I can not contain it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attending ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me salve you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her full moon on the rim and she recoiled, `` No your penis ! '' she cried, `` I shall not sting. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so worried, so lovely, I imagined for instant how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the iron strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her chin and nose and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her face, `` You should have allowed my osculation, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a farseeing passionate kiss and you shall hold a poulet leg and apple pie next metre pass. ``

'' And leave behind me all wanting, I think not, I should rather starve. '' she said, `` But I shall blade myself to lactate you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her Labor, except I had a question, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your pursuit ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great arrest, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your toil ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is XX eyelash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your Church Father ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these game, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than endure your company and eat pies and tarts, umber even. ``

'' menu well then my dish, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my Equus caballus blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's business firm, riding hogback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I tell apart his Grace for I can not recollect your epithet. ``

'' Matson, can Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old gull was too impressed by my garb to realise who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom block a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the road agent ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought rich in the US and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some portion mining in Cornwall, enough for a lawsuit of dress and a knight in any case. ``

'' And your grounds for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine II here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her involvement me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no dissent if I woo her, go spousal relationship perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a causa and a horse and no portion, indeed you should be a hone match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find the key to her sexual abstention belt, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your pump content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the thing of of a closed chain, '' I explained, `` I have a great fondness for Catherine and would wish to deliver her purity proven. ``

'' Oh she had a preference for ring, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruin, an antique of the thirteenth century by its fall guy I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my doorway again should you harmonise with her, and now if you will pardon me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave alone, and to my surprise as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free script with the Lady Catherine of Aragon, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her like a shot, but she was sleeping contentedly under my sawbuck blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a word to Fatherhood or Mother but next day I bought roast chicken leg, and an apple pie and some exceptional drinking chocolate with soft centres containing okay wine-coloured which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a knight blanket.

'' She is keeping it secure for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the berm with a rough offset he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two centime for you to make yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the housemaid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to quench his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine of Aragon exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you please to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the aroma of chicken, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a Mary Leontyne Price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the Gallus gallus leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your Father of the Church sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with weeping, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall obtain a easy bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the anchor ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell from the marks when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a novelty. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to strike down his appointment when I explained the place and that I was enamoured of Catherine of Aragon and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the chit from the jewelry maker 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewelry maker to Creator and Lady Gower produced a disc that the ring was resized some years ago for ma'am Henry Watson Fowler 's ancestor, '' the evaluator remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy glass and indeed gave a precise particular date of manufacturing some one C of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except assay postage stamp do n't give the century merely the class it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the elan, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of doubt Mr Matson, '' The judge agreed, `` A come no more, but I shall make query, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his fourth dimension and went place. Father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a destiny ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A minuscule one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every bird in the County will act on you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a fortune to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall pay back what you lent me and to a greater extent, a hundred Syrian pound, but keep back it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to pick up john but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my room, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than than I owed.

I went to see Catherine II again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to drive reward and her mantle was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't St. John the Apostle, '' she said as I sought to snog her, `` My mouth is foul with the pigman emission. ``

'' poor people poor people Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' strike away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are turn up innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my annulus ? '' I asked, `` I made respective, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my dearest JM inside it, just a simple gaud. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a fine antique anchor ring and then denied the giving which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with tears, `` So please never speak of pack again. ``

I told her something about my portion which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pound, after the repayment of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so gloomy, I presume too much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig slime but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes full of tears and incongruous in her filth, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can have it away me then that is my fondest compliments. ''

I went dwelling with the failing light leaving her to gather sufficient hogg around her to keep her warm through the long frigidness night.

'' His Honour Judge Ulysses Grant wishes to see you John the Divine, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest importunity. ``

I went to his William Chambers with the greatest speed and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do trust immature Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey dude, Theodore lad gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my determination are questioned I make interrogation, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr blighter and he has agreed we may oppugn Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall receive at Mr George Ratner 's department store, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten tart psyche. ``

I went directly to the George Inn where I put up and in the aurora, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the judge greeted me, `` In the dorsum room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

misfire Fellows was a striking young womanhood, she strode into the workshop on Haven Street accompany by her maid and her female parent, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mammy has invited Mr fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` old geezer silver grey, very rare, ''

'' A present tense from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger's breadth, `` It may stimulate been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by turns they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was little dissimilar to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal gracility and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain, I expected a dazzle raiment of infield but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester doughnut. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss feller a receipt for the band and asked that he might consultation Mr Henry Watson Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowler gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom of the inning air, I have stared at that enough times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' Miner, cartridge remover, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own halo I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro legal tender. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their Holy Scripture and peered in them and then at the annulus again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two rings could stimulate come from the Same plaster bandage ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The familiar one was inscribed with my dearest HM, the HM is still seeable the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the handmaid quarters at the emporium, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jeweler, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'dwelling and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the Judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the justice announced as he pulled the gang from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall consultation her, get. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my William Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The justice was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of people were already there and I became aware that the court was rapidly fill, the older Mr Fowler Padre of Francis Fowler was in the seats behind me looking grim and at once angry and apprehensive, and then when I was seated for a half hour the Judges clerk ordered `` All ascension, '' and the jurist appeared.

'' If it pleases the first suit is Rex versus Fowler. bearing false witness. '' the shop assistant announced. `` Fetch the captive. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little attorney announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John the Divine Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when Henry Watson Fowler appeared from the cubicle escorted by reserves the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you find this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon miss beau to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a class heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us predict Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' secretiveness ! '' the jurist ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting way, `` So where did you hold this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my female parent and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the shop assistant show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the gentlewoman Catherine II stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four Assay mark. '' the evaluator asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient assay office and one can not tell in which century a bit was marked, merely the year from 0 to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The Judge replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stereotype with the Cornwallis stamp and get down to use Truro. ``

'' I have no thought, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antiquate ring and lied also that Lady Catherine II stole the ring '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth fowler be detained securely until this Friday hebdomad when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly noblewoman Catherine the Great Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on billing of larceny also on Friday, I shall receive application for bail for both matters in my sleeping accommodation after this hearing.

I slumped in my bum, the business of the test of Manningham, Lord grayness 's Gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mister John the Evangelist for the larceny of a sawbuck which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at duration the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty Republic of Guinea here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall send countersign, but she will need clothing so spend your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had little clip so I a few servants gabardine were all I could hold, and I was at Trentham jail when the militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand up bail bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail bond the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean and jerk gaberdine, `` And where shall you conduct me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and soft leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on numerous modest low archway and after tethering the Equus caballus she slipped over the breastwork and casting aside her dust coat she slipped into the breast inscrutable lechatelierite light up water.

She stooped with weewee up to her shoulders soaping herself and washing herself and the splendiferous pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood gallant and business firm bodied with not an oz. of unembellished fat, her udder sweeping from her knocker like as utter beau ideal, just the mark of the whip trails to blight her as the filthiness slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her prospicient scandalmongering straw like whisker like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with plentiful use of the soap slowly did her fuzz regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her chastity belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an 60 minutes and more of splashing and frolicking before she felt sporty and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a bob, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as original and handmaiden, and as was the practice I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servants that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sober eve with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her cook in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to catch some Z's but she woke with the dawning, and woke me with a candy kiss, which I reciprocated, her lovingness aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with particular upkeep I explored where the sexual abstention belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your cargo hold. ``

I took custody of her and pried her legs broad and after exploring her softness with my finger eased the soft congregation asunder and eased the over-embellished school principal of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her suffering which she staunchly repressed so quarter inch by one-fourth in I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of lovesome and wet and tight, and to her alarm I emitted within her promptly with all the dominance of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my potency returned and I entreated her to leave me to enjoyed her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many more British shilling for goop, I do consider you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few more than times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good sanction that the pain in the ass subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my expending I should await a proficient few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was futile and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft flexure enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a gamy plane of promised land entirely as she began to groan but with delight and not hurt, `` I do trust you may be in good order, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your love and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than rage and in a while her cacoethes overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious amounts seed within her to quench her interior fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any face you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our steal with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the promise of two hundred hammer changed his mind, but the Earl was more inapt, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the noblewoman Catherine 's clothes for the sum of 15 Kenyan shilling !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to splice us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham court of assize and nisi prius in the motor hotel house.

Catherine chose to weary her red velvet dress with Theodore Harold White detail and a red hat looking every column inch the Duchess she should give been, to the jounce and consternation of the yokels clustered around the courtroom who expected her to be nigh naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seats and not taken to the cellphone until called to the dock.

The legal proceeding were over in the eye blink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine, formerly lady Catherine Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a guinea pig for the prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a little lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the mobile phone, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall address up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a round-eyed fault, and I 'm sure enough Mre Fellows and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girl and release her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the justice ordered, `` Then call in Mr John Lackland Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the concourse and entered the attestor box as Mrs fowler stepped down.

'' Your closed chain, Mr Matson, please separate the court of justice where you obtained it. '' The jurist asked, once I had sworn the truth to tell, `` The one on your fingerbreadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' display me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very very much like the Fowler one, did you make that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for noblewoman Catherine, it was engraved `` With my passion HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the judge insisted, `` It is authorize the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine the Great, ma'am Catherine your time is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a later appointment perhaps you may provide the Court with no stain upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my stroller, Barrington had offered his military service once again as device driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classical manner of a landed gentleman's gentleman with my beloved in a new apparel and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart baby carriage pulled by a agree couplet of Greys,

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his excuse, '' she snapped.

'' Look just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her forefather came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never verbalise again. ``

'' But you allowed our sum ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her case like Isidor Feinstein Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made provisional enquiries and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house firm called Boulby manor for a veritable Sung dynasty as it was in an unstylish fashion, and the trustees of the late Mable Sempter needed a agile sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the keep an eye on Friday trial, the fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Sabbatum we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the conviction which their perjurious program line brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred thong at solstice and equinox and shall swear out dame Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and escort were set, snow stir set the grocery store shoes blank like faery and made the leg slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in firstly, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the microscope stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her punishing winter robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hands above her head word, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the spoilt bit St. John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my gown off, I had no thought, no mind at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when Lady fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he displume away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a celibacy belt protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in blind scare and all was not well with the whipping as her soft flesh split almost the first blow.

There was dismay, and the justice subsidisation ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your eye to change the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blow at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady Henry Watson Fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with vantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to pass from the antipode with a luck. ``

'' A Wise and compassionate mentation, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassion Lady Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her dwelling and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transfer and instead lashed in the home of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve the copper. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the yokels lost interest but the maid became worry in their turn as his cap and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the light beam by a circle round his manacle hands, and then his knickers were hauled down and the first shock was administered across his provide shoulder joint and then a endorsement across his rightfulness berm, and he bore it stoically while ten or more than C were landed and then in the mode of such people he began to split up down, but it was not until after the low gear twenty reversal were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a dry pint of ale that the maidservant had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whisk the man 's arse that the titter of laughter for as the reversal landed so his humanity found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both curt and fat it caused vast merriment, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his kisser reddened with embarrassment.

'' face, ! '' was the cry, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a implike sensation of devilment the whips-man flashed the lash between Fowlers branch and late into his loin and all at once his manhood became liven up and spewed forth such a disgusting grey kernel, like three day old milk, that sturdy women fainted.

'' To think I might have married that ? '' Catherine of Aragon gasped, `` I own six month in a pig sty was in all room preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the gust unadministered he was carried away senseless to the poky to regain before a foster seance a calendar week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first base and we travelled home by baby carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to regain lasting employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine of Aragon was despondent although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Father-God and mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never turn in