ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a shadow November night in Yorkshire. XIX Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. brightness level of Grisegarth sign box on t'London and North Eastern railroad line could be seen for miles.

rider train get along past, headed for Grimsby, engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire Railway. Four big driving wheels as big as a man and four footling 'uns out front. Over thirty yr old, losing time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham trade good. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were engine cleanser, but he's done exams for fireman and it were his first time out firing engine on retentive trip, He had been on shunting railway locomotive many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were improbable, too damn fat to get under locomotive engine to oil unit of ammunition proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 class loco, built by George Sugar Ray Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a smaller cheaper engine built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened power train to 40 waggon, 600 tons.

It were maximum burden for J39 and Tommy had to work like a Trojan, shovelling ember trying to restrain up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled ember inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator half open and the valves in full gear to make Tommy sweat. He could have saved half the ember if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past tense Moresby top to breast box, all signals off and only two minutes down with water system bobbing in the bum nut of gauge glass, Ted shut governor and shouted for Tommy to put hold up steam injector on to take boiler.

Engine began to pick up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing plate for a brew.

"Plenty of time for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee bloomers down I wan't to sodomize thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody hell, sodomist me, I mean not bugger me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate device driver's in commission and I'm number one wood reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nada, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend Cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a bird let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an club from thee device driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for signal, told I to get gourmandize and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a awful bugger,"says Tommy as caravan picked up speed down bank,"But I ‘ ant no alternative ‘ as I."

well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fire doors to cool.

"seminal fluid on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his belt and slipped his trouser down.

Ted smirked"dyad thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's bloody red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"Hang on to bloody pee scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his mortise joint gripping on to water soap roulette wheel while Ted eased hs duad off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to unveil a short fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs cock at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen times when suddely wallop.

Ted dick pressed an inch into Tommy's smashed ass hole as the locomotive engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a awful crashing of busted wood and metallic element locomotive engine reared up at rearwards end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock of his ass trap busting but then Ted was screaming and there was ember off the tender and busted wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pant back up and staggered around trying to establish horse sense of it.

There were fail moment of carriages all round.

"bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire room access lever tumbler to afford ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the overt position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the pee gauge lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt sick and wanted to laugh at the same time.

"I go to signal box for formula 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of railway locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out expressage engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, emptiness brake had stopped it and goods had run through five sign before hitting express up the ass.

Ted were probably numb afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the off-white and he pillow of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky bloke,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'clangoring,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a incision,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is rule 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a ok trainman, have a brewage and go back and if he's dead nick his watch before some other bugger does."

"Tha's a callous bugger,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No bugger liked him, tight fisted fat lazy motherfucker,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

poor Tommy never seen a lad porter in a consistent jacket crown and nowt else except for stockings and suspender afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting way at the station when he woke up. Stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a smash,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"Well go and let off passenger fireman, he banged his head teacher, they're going on wi one-half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to bugger I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ cashbox lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no bother wi engine and Sid took him to accommodate,"We usually shares two-fold bed dryer and reliever together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a cocotte,"he laughed.

Poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe forty year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for whole Nox ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"feel why be a gooseberry, sod off and hold on our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the seams on her cardigan, her backtalk were like rubies, her eyes were like, well eyes, one were grim and the former weren't, her hair was arrant atomic number 79 wi blackened tooth root, her second joint were summat else and her face, had all the correct fleck and well thee don't have to search at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm Dolly,"says Dolores.

"Hello dolly,"says Tommy.

"Comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay fire-eater,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"commodity, I'm doing Hospitality arcdegree,"says doll,"Maybe you can aid me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got exams on calendar week after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to need to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final condition,"doll explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me dick for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no matter how big it is,"she admitted.

"Belt up and enfold thee laughing tackle stave it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be rude,"dolly says as she grasped his putz firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're fucking useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to account to shedmaster to explicate why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't sort of lad to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a shit on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to sodomise thee more like,"Inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any time soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all devoid like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass yap, fact is he got two ass holes now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"shtup surgeon at railway Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new vocation in Circus as the man we two asses !"

"Bloody hell on earth,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather suffer two stopcock ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"Inspector added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster study, he saw engine with omnibus connecter on attendant,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"examiner told him.

As salt lick would give birth it Ted got septicemia and died, pitiable bugger ‘ adn't no one, no family or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the union paid for funeral director and for the proficient second hand coffin cat's-paw brokers had in pedigree out of members subs.

Funeral day and four blighter took some fuck and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when service started. non-Christian priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's last mate.

"I couldn't stick Ted. Ted were an ugly fat lazy sodomite, a bloody prevaricator and a turd mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ movement he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trouser down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A great belly jest came from the half twelve or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amon !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a hush word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honest,"Vicar said,"But in twenty twelvemonth I never heard such an honest eulogium spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest melodic theme what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one affair, when it comes to buggery its better to give than receive.

And dolly ? She failed the examination and had to proceed to London as they has lower standards for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .