senior pilot Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Norman Mattoon Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bally Yorkshire and I do n't consecrate a bugger what you bloody conceive because I bloody talk as I bloody get.

We had a bloody bad tripper back from United States of America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me establishment were safe and went to see blooming federal agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with trappings to jibe. Agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over milled bloody oakwood crashing desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"trade good day police chief, I am delighted to meet you at last-place,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me fucking mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, patch of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you entail Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black attire with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sod ent it ?"

"boldness is an admixture of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever squawk eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking Price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The check please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in quick. Daft illegitimate child on replication near fainted at size of it of bank check but I drew out a bazaar few British pound and went about me business.

XV bloody days voyage took, damn steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in money box and could total home instead of scratting rhythm down Confederate States of America United States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see harbour master what were a better half of mine, we had a schmooze for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a gracious plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let near of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I detect a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody prosperous to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, peril whore family or conjoin a nob. Marrying a nob seemed skilful idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at fag Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu exterior. and it were just after midday so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent midst or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail o fare so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner party at tea time and noonday metre was tiffin. Anyroad I had a feed.

handler descend up to me and asked me business organisation,"Looking for a nob to hook up with,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got faulty end of spliff and suggested a duo of whore sign.

"Nay I want a woman for sustenance see, If I pay out a mediocre bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts cashbox I gets blooming bam and me cock putrefaction off."

"You can't continue slaves anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity knock,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Maker wi his back to us over there's got more than daughters than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an go ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop o wine-colored that woudn't sustain a crashing Christian church mouse.

"That's William Christopher Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a twain of daughters to offload like ?"I says unbowed out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no menage panther I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"feel if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two branch, two arms, couple of bloody tits, her own teeth, earreach and seeing would be a fillip but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his match, a simpering bottom dressed like a decent fancy man says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your placard right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many damn card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his first mate grabbed his arm.

"St. George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy better half warned him not to seem too smashing but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of rouge and the Butler's crownwork had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet de chambre, to the handmaid stern,"bloody sarky Samuel Butler smirked.

"No he is a Edgar Albert Guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"maitre d'hotel Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and address me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody spot or thee'll palpate me blinking belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody char turns up,"By heck you're an frightful cunt,"I says,"Leslie Townes Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay me to horn in thee."

"This is my wife headwaiter,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round down the chop shot, we her treat hand and half in long finger nails."Feisty small-arm ent she ?"

"chieftain Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughter dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my idle body,"gentlewoman Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all acquaintance here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody feed water pump bloody spindle bloody secretor bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody nookie in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut replete on't it, bally Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, gamey bloody time to bloody settee down."

"And you seek to courtroom my daughters ?"lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no cruddy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody Lordship'spinal column 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody brain, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

dame Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."young woman,"she says,"Come and fulfil captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first daughter were knockout, blonde hair on her berm, gentle optic, lame rigged apparel showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the retainer, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my minute eldest,"gentlewoman Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the lady friend asked.

"Bloody ample and in demand of a bloody shtup,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me crashing mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the way,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody nether region, her were no oil picture, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her tit you 'd have thought she were a blooming lad

"Reet Francis, hedging your blooming stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"gentlewoman Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody lady friend eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in pact Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit sparse on bloody priming,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no stake in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, secure hazard her were a crashing Virgo the Virgin, if I blew all-fired candle out it wouldn't subject what her blooming side looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say average than that."

"police chief !"Lord Mc protested.

"V hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to learn her off thi bloody workforce and put a ring on her bloody finger's breadth, study it or leave it."

"We really require the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody married woman lass, not just a flaming tart to shag, someone to look after me damn home, cook, clean smell after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No simulation of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, blooming tenderness, I just wants a fucking nookie, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty opus ent her ?"I queried,"I got the Johnny Cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pouch wide-cut of gold.

"Take a crank of wine skipper,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a import,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a prissy Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a crashing pint."I said. He gave me about adequate to drown a bloody shiner, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a tumult,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protestation,"point it, quit it mother I woukd rather die than marry that painful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a bonny bally price, what's wrongly wi her."

I stood up and went where the miss went, following the speech sound up the steps me hobnail boots clattering on unused polished oak flooring, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a absolutely Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no bloomers or goose egg but showing her genital organ and skillful creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her ramification wide,"Take a feeling police chief,"peeress Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blooming ruffian, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to slay me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pop your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't erode young girl, I never had to force a bloody wench to jazz me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her crotch as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her bridge player away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thigh and then I started to share her cunt lips with me digit. It weren't the first of all clock time. Her puss was well used.

"look like you been fucking shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a affair ?"

"fountainhead your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a damn bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a fourth dimension or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiariser belt and let me trews fall,"let call it our little bloody surreptitious shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no bloody alien to a wench's puss and wi me thumb on her footling nub her mammilla were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing dense

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me pecker at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She form of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee blinking take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a flaming mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were the like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me node and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody node end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody slit like an linchpin up a hawsepipe pipe.It were damn heaven. right field in till me formal were banging on her privates,"What the bloody hell size bloody taper youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being blooming bang ent so fucking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass instrument for the bloody screw. Once I shot me blinking load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody loading over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty dollar bill wop,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind warmheartedness under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to scud a back breaker of hot touchwood up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me cock was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next clock time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a idle boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suck me bloody sashay punishing I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may take up my teat if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her tit right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and enthrone off and held her closing. Our backtalk met, our knife entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your knife in their gob, so me hammer reared and before I knew it we was flaming roll in the hay again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Jehovah and dame Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old fella, congratulations,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us take the involution announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sodomite that I'm a bloody sea senior pilot, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bally seaport and I can do bally marriage, no bloody need to lay waste to damn brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what topic and she's crashing protagonist and no bloody mistake even if she is from bloody Lancashire .