master Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm police captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't founder a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody mouth as I bloody retrieve.

We had a bloody bad trip back from US on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me plaque were safe and went to see fucking agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a sporting lady boudoir with furnishings to match. Agent were a Slimy SOB with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over refine bloody oakwood bloody desk about the sizing of a fucking cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"commodity day maitre d', I am delighted to meet you at utmost,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me memorial tablet,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bally judgement,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a pitch-black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"face, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever cunt eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking damage,"the slimy love child said rooking me,"The cheque please misfire Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in straightaway. Daft mongrel on comeback near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a fairish few quid and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, bally steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass instrument in camber and could amount home instead of scratting round down S United States of America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour lord what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave securities industry, I fancies a nice plump invigorated Brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a nice plump Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody golden to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to conjoin a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or conjoin a nob. Marrying a nob seemed topper idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at female monarch Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner Menu outside. and it were just after noonday so I thought I would give birth a pungency to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make headspring or quarter o carte du jour so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner party at tea time and noontide clock time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be double-dyed mind."

He got untimely end of reefer and suggested a couple of whore house.

"Nay I want a fair sex for living see, If I pay out a reasonable bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not hold open forking out for tarts trough I gets bloody bang and me cock bunk off."

"You can't keep on hard worker anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his dorsum to us over there's got more daughter than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of Fish and driblet o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church building mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a duo of daughters to unload like ?"I says neat out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to present me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's blooming decorum,"I says,"I ent no house cougar I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob checkmate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar sign, long as she's Virgo the Virgin, two pegleg, two limb, couple of bloody tits, her own dentition, sense of hearing and seeing would be a incentive but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say Saint George,"one of his mates, a simpering bottom dressed like a properly ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody circuit board,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George VI, think, he'll pay,"this blighter said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and contact my daughters ?"

His poncy spouse warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His home needed a lick of blusher and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, man, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and utter me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me damn belt hybrid thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody charwoman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife police captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No umbrage like,"I says as she belts me labialise the chop shot, we her twee hand and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty opus ent she ?"

"maitre d' Beckinthwaite wish to court one of our daughters dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead dead body,"dame Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"ejaculate now we are all friends here,"Jehovah Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe risky venture in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"Storms, tempest, bloody tip water pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"ma'am Mc insisted.

"I had a blinking gut full on't it, blinking Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, heights bloody time to bloody settle down down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more crashing like,"I said,"Don't judgment bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her wish thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'spine 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit crashing nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Godhead Mc were in on't as well.

dame Mc knew when to continue stum so she showed us into parlor."Girls,"she says,"Come and fill Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blonde hair on her berm, naughty eye, square rigged garb showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in indigence of a bloody piece of ass,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a looker and no mistake."

"I speak my idea too sir and you sir are entirely obscene,"she explained.

Another visual modality of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody sin, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her curtly pilus and scowling look if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your flaming stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"madam Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a flaming bloke or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accordance Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody soil,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest group in such topic,"she said.

I thought a bit crashing promptly, good chance her were a blooming virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody facial expression looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bally end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody Virgin I ‘ ll screw thee and and wed thee and I can't say mediocre than that."

"senior pilot !"nobleman Mc protested.

"basketball team hundred,"I offered,"guinea, to take her off thi bloody bridge player and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really postulate the money,"noblewoman Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a fucking wife lassie, not just a bloody tart to shag, mortal to bet after me blooming theater, cook, clean face after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretending of passion or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a all-fired shag, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer maitre d'hotel is no, never."She stormed away in a all-fired strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee opinion I were blinking messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full-of-the-moon of gold.

"demand a chicken feed of wine captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a mo,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a overnice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and kind Francis out.

I heard a ruckus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, hold back it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the young lady went, following the audio up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on invigorated urbane oak floors, money box I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two chamber maidservant and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a dead haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her girdle and knee length stockings, no knee breeches or nothing but showing her private and gracious creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs encompassing,"Take a feeling Captain,"ma'am Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, sodomist off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the likes of of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the spark of light off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to slay me maitre d' ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd drink down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to hale a bloody wench to do it me in me bally life."

She sat on the bound of the bed and covered her genitals as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thigh and then I started to character her snatch lips with me fingers. It weren't the first clip. Her cunt was well used.

"expression like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody fellow I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody wax light then has tha ? Like I caught me crashing sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Army of the Righteous call it our piffling bloody secret shall us ?

"feel police chief,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no all-fired strangers to a doll's slit and wi me thumb on her small nub her teat were getting dainty and pointy.

She started breathing impenetrable

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shtup,"I explained,"Can't expect me to hold back now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But sea captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her hill. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh public treasury I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a damn Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like dish aerial, she said nowt but grasped me thickening and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody pommel end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody snatch like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in trough me glob were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody taper youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh sea captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being damn roll in the hay ent so flaming bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candela, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me blooming onus in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't tummy it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no Sir Thomas More about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty dollar bill guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me damn burden over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly police captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind warmheartedness under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a social disease of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me peter was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for blinking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant police chief,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me crashing hammer concentrated I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her girdle and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly dresser against mine."

"You ent got a manly breast,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and robe off and held her close. Our mouths met, our natural language entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me rooster reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an minute or so before we went back downstairs. Divine and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, extolment,"master Mc chorted,"Let us have the troth announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a crashing sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do crashing wedlock, no bloody need to rot bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church building so we're getting wed official like, and do you bonk after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her spirit quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bally day its what they fucks like what matters and she's flaming sensation and no bloody mistake even if she is from bloody Lancashire .