ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a disconsolate November Nox in Yorkshire. XIX 30 something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Inner Light of Grisegarth sign box on t'London and magnetic north Eastern railroad track could be seen for miles.

rider train come past tense, headed for Grimsby, engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railroad line. Four big drive wheels as big as a man and four minuscule 'uns out front. Over XXX year old, miss clock time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham goods. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were engine cleaner, but he's done exams for fireman and it were his first prison term out firing engine on long trip, He had been on shunting engines many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were really thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were grandiloquent, too flaming fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 year loco, built by George Robinson in 1922 but today he had a close new J39, a small tatty engine built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened train to 40 wagon, 600 tons.

It were maximum load for J39 and Tommy had to play like a Dardan, shovelling coal trying to keep up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the sharp-set firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator half open and the valves in full gear to make Tommy swither. He could take saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to summit box, all sign off and only two arcminute down with water bobbing in the bottom nut of standard of measurement glass, Ted shut governor and shouted for Tommy to put last steam injector on to fill boiler.

Engine began to beak up pep pill, Tommy went to put tea can on firing plate for a brew.

"stack of time for that lad,"Ted says,"clip for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody hell, bugger me, I mean not bugger me but don't sod me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate Driver's in charge and I'm driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor zip, just that wanking People's Mujahidin of Iran thee blind and I'd rather spend immediate payment on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an monastic order from thee driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"anal sex's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for signals, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a nasty bugger,"says Tommy as train picked up speed down bank building,"But I ‘ ant no choice ‘ as I."

wellspring loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fervor doors to cool.

"semen on don't sod about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his rap and slipped his pants down.

Ted smirked"duet thee self agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's blooming red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"Hang on to blinking pee scoop shovel instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankle joint gripping on to piddle exclusive wheel while Ted eased hs twosome off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to divulge a short fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs cock at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen fourth dimension when suddely wallop.

Ted peter pressed an inch into Tommy's fuddled ass hole as the railway locomotive stopped pretty near dead.

There was a fearsome crashing of busted Sir Henry Wood and metal locomotive engine reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the impact of his ass kettle of fish busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the pinnace and busted forest all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to throw horse sense of it.

There were better bits of carriages all round.

"bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire door lever to open up ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the open position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water caliber lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever and all the cutis burned off of his bum. Tommy felt throw up and wanted to express joy at the like time.

"I go to signal box for dominion 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of engine and headed for box.

Turned out carry engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum bracken had stopped it and goods had run through five sign before hitting express up the ass.

Ted were probably drained afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he rest of him roasted though his boots were okay and his cap and pouch watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'smash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee number one wood ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is harness 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a delicately railwayman, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his sentry before some other bugger does."

"Tha's a callous bugger,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"whoreson said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No sodomite liked him, tight fisted fat lazy bastard,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too later Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad door guard in a uniform jacket and nowt else except for stockings and brace afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the station when he woke up. stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a eruption,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"fountainhead go and relieve passenger fire-eater, he banged his head, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger locomotive engine, Sid Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to sodomise I and ne'er kept a flavour out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no fuss wi engine and Sid took him to charge,"We usually shares two-fold bed drier and fireman together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a unity room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a whore,"he laughed.

poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe forty year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for whole night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"feel why be a Ribes grossularia, sod off and keep our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the seams on her cardigan, her lips were like deep red, her eyes were like, well eyes, one were blue air and the early weren't, her hair was pure Au wi black roots, her thigh were summat else and her typeface, had all the in good order second and well thee don't have to bet at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm Dolly,"says Dolores.

"howdy doll,"says Tommy.

"comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay stoker,"says Tommy.

"Got a lady friend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"Good, I'm doing hospitality degree,"says doll,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got examination on workweek after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's net term,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me cock for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no topic how big it is,"she admitted.

"belt ammunition up and enfold thee laughing fishing rig round it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be rude,"Dolly says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're screw useless,"she opined. poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of melody being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't kind of fella to dob any sodomite in so he says,"Having a diddley on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"Inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any time soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all barren like.

"Did it heck as like,"said examiner,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass maw, fact is he got two ass kettle of fish now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking sawbones at railway system infirmary hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new career in Circus as the man we two piece of tail !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two putz ?"he suggested.

"Not that sodomist !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster study, he saw engine with coach connection on Tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"inspector told him.

As lick would have it Ted got blood poisoning and died, poor sodomite ‘ adn't no one, no menage or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the conjugation paid for funeral undertaker and for the best minute hand coffin pawn broker had in stock out of members subs.

Funeral day and four bloke took some fuck and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any fourth dimension soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when Service started. priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's final stage mate.

"I couldn't joystick Ted. Ted were an atrocious fat lazy sodomite, a bloody liar and a shit mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ lawsuit he neglected his dooty to kip a flavour out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trousers down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever tumbler knob."A smashing belly laugh came from the half XII or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said individual,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a tranquillity word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be dependable,"Vicar said,"But in twenty years I never heard such an honest eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slight idea what he were on about. But when he got sometime he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its best to give than receive.

And doll ? She failed the exams and had to move to London as they has lower monetary standard for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .