Mr D'arcy has but recently taken up temporary lodging near the white avens residence for the shooting season and ventures forth to meet his new neighbours.

History Humour.

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"Mr D'arcy how delightful !"Mrs white avens simpered as her new neighbor arrived on horseback quite unheralded one natural spring morning.

"Indeed brothel keeper the pleasure is all mine !"Mr D'arcy replied airily,"Tis a pleasant sufficiency minuscule topographic point you have here, quite like my lodging at Manderly but somewhat modest I fear."

"Oh Mr D'arcy you are too kind,"Mrs Bennet smiled through gritted dentition,"come you must meet my girls,"she added, seeing an opportunity to espouse one off, and called upon them to issue forth through.

"This is Jayne my eldest,"Mrs Bennet declared.

"Ah plain Jayne, how appropriate,"Mr D'arcy greeted her.

"And Eliza,"Mrs Bennet indicated her indorse eldest.

"I don't think I've had the pleasure,"Mr Darcy smarmed.

"Oh Mr D'arcy"Miss Eliza replied,"I can control you that you would surely ingest remembered if you had had the pleasure of spearing my lovesome wet womb with your rampant extremity and touch my well muscled thighs gripping and squeezing you, my rearing breasts and irreverent nipples spearing into your manlike chest."

"Ah, I meant of confluence you,"Mr D'arcy explained,"I should of track have remembered every particular had we conjoined for I do declare you are the most candid and ahead young woman I have ever encountered."

"Not to care Mr D'arcy,"misfire Bennet explained,"I changed the bed linen not three days ago should you wish to mistreat upstairs."

"I merely wish to build your acquaintance,"Mr D'arcy explained in exasperation.

"Why ? do you not trust to compare me carnally to a wide variety show of other young ladies before making your pick of Saint Bridget ?"fille Eliza enquired.

"Indeed not madam,"Mr D'arcy explained somewhat painfully,"I merely wished to enquire if I might shoot a few of your pheasants as I fear I have slaughtered the vast majority of those at Manderley and the season has hardly begun."

"Indeed shoot away for we have provincial far in excess of our penury,"Mrs white avens simpered,"nurseryman, ostlers, idlers, why we have a complete superfluity of peasants..

"Pheasants mother, not Peasants."Eliza cautioned."One can not shoot Peasants."

"In the Creator's name why not ?"Mrs Bennet exclaimed,"If one might not shoot them how is study to be maintained ?"

"young lady Eliza, I have done you a dis-service,"Mr D'arcy exclaimed,"I had thought you the most crackbrained and completely deluded woman I had ever met but I own you are indeed quite sane compared to your mother."

"How are we to impose check Mr D'arcy if we can not tear the miscreant ?"Mrs Bennet demanded."One can not carry a wrack around with one and whipping is no substitute."

"dearest master mother he wants to shoot a few birds,"Miss Eliza sighed,"And yet you suggest he shoots our servants and takes your girl to his bed."

"To be honest she only suggested I take you to bed fille Eliza,"Mr D'arcy argued.

"And shall you ?"Eliza enquired.

"Alas no, the intellection of my issue having your countenance and wit entirely repulses me,"Mr D'arcy replied.

Mrs Bennet recoiled at the persuasion,"So have them sent to the orphanhood as Mr Bennet and I should take done when we failed to batten a son and heir.

"An excellent proffer, as ever mother,"Eiza sighed,"No thought for my sentiments."

Mr Geum canadense staggered drunkenly into the breakfast room after a gap fasting of Rum and Porter in roughly compeer proportion."Oh don't be so reticent dear, One can not have sentiments where marriage is concerned, let the Gentleman sample the merchandise."

Eliza fumed,"He desires to sample me not wed me."

"Indeed I do not,"Mr D'arcy sighed,"I merely wish to shoot your Peasants, I mean Pheasants."

"Then why have you a trouser excrescence Mr D'arcy ?"Mr Geum virginianum observed.

"Fatherhood !"girl Eliza declared,"Do you really expect me to espouse with Mr D'arcy without a promise ?"

"Oh really Mr Geum virginianum,"Mrs Bennet declaimed,"Would you let just any Gentleman try your girl without a promise."

"Actually,"Eliza observed,"Now you mention it his pant bulge looks most promising."

"ejaculate on man, make a promise,"Mr Bennet ordered.

"Very well, ten Numida meleagris and ten to a greater extent if she pleases me,"Mr D'arcy offered.

"Done,"Mr Bennet agreed delightedly,"anchor ring my bookmaker forthwith."

"Father the Telephonograph has yet to be invented,"Jayne reminded him.

"Oh yes damnit, get my thrill !"he retorted.

Mr D'arcy duly handed over the ten guineas.

"Up the stair, first on the left wing,"Mrs Bennet directed.

"Miss Bennet ?"Mr D'arcy graciously invited Eliza to take his arm and she led him to the stairs.

"Do you advise to seduce me Mr D'arcy ?"Eliza enquired.

"Lord no,"D'arcy replied,"No metre for that, If you get your kit off I'll shove it up you right away, let us get on with it."

Eliza opened the bed chamber door and led Mr D'arcy in.

She sat on the bed edge and pulled her garb up revealing her Split fork leggings which with a complete want of pantaloons gave entirely untied admittance to her mellisonant unsullied vagina

"No need for undressing on my part Mr D'arcy,"she explained as she spread her legs.

A speedy increase in the swelling in Mr D'arcy's knee breeches forced him to discard the said breeches over which he promptly fell as they bunched around his ankles. The fall buried his human face in Eliza's generous segmentation. She helped him up and guided his rampant phallus towards her waiting wanting moistened womb lips.

He thrust mightily,"Bleedin'hell are you a blinking virgin ?"he gasped,"Er I mean gosh are you virgo intacto ?"

"Not any more with your cock up me,"Eliza replied.

"Damnit, I hate Virgin,"he explained,"Such hard work for so fiddling reward."

"I might well express the Lapp sentiments about your member,"Eliza opined as the aforesaid appendage slowly eased within her moist vagina and opened up the cavern leading to her womb.

"Though,"he continued,"Perhaps when your leg are wrapped around me and your naked breasts press."

"For ten French Guinea ?, in your dreams."Eliza opined.

"twenty then, a Hundred !"D'arcy offered.

Eliza felt herself melting as his seductive give-and-take washed over her.

"Very well, rip my bodice open and feel my bosoms,"Eliza replied as D'arcy's member sank ever deeper within her.

He did as she asked opening his shirt as he did so until their naked pectus entwined as their lips entwined and he shot his cargo, rather prematurely, deep inside her.

"Is that it ?"Eliza enquired.

"Afraid so old little girl,"D'arcy apologised as he slid his shrinking penis from her.

"Er about the rest of the century French Guinea ?"Eliza queried.

"In your dreams,"he retorted.

"Bastard !"she replied.

"You're beautiful when you're angry,"D'arcy reassured her. His appendage swelled again and before they knew it she was once again firmly screwed to the bed by his pulsing cock.

"Are you insatiable ?"Eliza asked.

"Not usually, one shot wonder who comes too soon generally,"he apologised,"Er don't fancy moving in with me do you ?"

"How big is your house in Derbyshire ?"she asked.

"LXX three sleeping accommodation,"he replied.

"I'll think about it,"she said as t she felt the first stirring of an climax deep in her uterus,"might as well,"she thought,"It'll get me away from my mad female parent and alcoholic father,"

"Yes !"she agreed.

D'arcy breathed a suspiration of ease, she might be a well lay but never a hundred guineas Charles Frederick Worth and based on past experience she would dump him within weeks.

So they conjoined delightedly for very different intellect. Who would possess the salutary of the deal.

Their concurrence completed they returned to the sitting room.

"Mama Mr D'arcy has asked me to move in with him,"Eliza simpered.

"Excellent,"Mr Geum virginianum declared,"Your dish are over there if you wish to pass on now."

Mr D'arcy recoiled at the thought of what he had done, of a life ruined, perchance forced to marry Eliza, to have to sleep and lie with her every night, to suck her bang-up bosom and spear her juicy cleaning woman's parts each and every Night. His fellow member swelled at the thought."Fancy a quickie before we go ?"

"Yes why not,"Mrs Bennet agreed.

"Not you mother, me !"Eliza exclaimed.

Mrs Geum canadense was furious, Jayne looked disappointed.

Eliza continued,"Perhaps we could do it if I bent over the table in the billiard room ?"

"An excellent proposition,"Mr Bennet agreed,"I shall bring the handmaiden, they don't get much entertainment."

"Fetch away father, it will all be over by the prison term they stir themselves,"Eliza prophesied and indeed in this she was correct. However a well timed purchase of a cock ring and her pleasure was to be brought to new heights especially when they repaired to his mansion in Derbyshire and she became queen of all she surveyed.

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