`` Good morning peeress and valet de chambre, I am Ian Henderson of Hirondell Akamura associate and I am here to talk about efficiency. ``

It was Monday morning, around ten, the staff coming together, boring stuff.

'' Now I did some preliminaries finish calendar week and I found that your availability ratio only rose to seventy eight percent on Thursday, and that excludes yearbook leave, ghastly leave and other licit absence seizure, and actually fell below 50 percent on Tuesday and Friday. ``

Boring, Karenic mentally switched off and began to day ambition of fucking Barry her political boss.

Muscular well built rugged Barry in his smart whippersnapper suit started to dream of Saturday 's match against Blaenavon, survive fourth dimension they lost 13-12 after the reviewer missed an illegal forward pass that let them hit a try and changeover in the final stage two minutes.

'' From putting down the phone until the next call the average pot breakage is actually nineteen minutes, the median ladies and gentleman's gentleman, two or three prison term a day, an hour lost, calls diverted for an minute a day per receptionist, that is where you keep on falling down. ``

mike Summerbee the office manager raised his script, `` Mike ? '' Ian queried.

'' So what do you suggest ? '' he asked.

'' Well on the addition side of meat you do have a luxuriously customer atonement ratio, far amend than Mumbai for instance so really it is about efficency. ``

Mike raised his hand again, `` Right we know this, '' he said, `` What do you suggest ? ``

Ian smiled, `` Hirondell Akamura are specialists in this field of study, in fact we are the human race leadership in our field of force and our type 43 place chairperson is another significant footfall towards driving efficiency ratio towards an achievable end of up to ninety eight percent, based on seven working hours per day. ''

'' So new chair boost efficiency by 20 per cent ? '' Mike asked incredulously.

'' Up to, for madam, '' he explained, `` Gentlemen are a larger trouble. ``

'' So how in gods name does a different president gain efficiency, '' Mike asked again.

'' The Type 43 has a completely separate back balance, you know how your crownwork tail end loses its'anatomy when you sit on it, well on the character 43 the jacket rear can hang down to within one fifty dollar bill millimeters thats six old fashioned in of the land whie the backrest still supports the pep pill and lower back.

'' For gods sake the staff are eighty per cent dame, '' microphone protested.

'' Who sit on their skirts, '' Ian pointed out, `` Creasing them, so with the type 43 the doll falls naturally wish sitting on a stool yet with a backwards eternal sleep. ``

mike frowned, `` Are you seriously trying to severalize me that creased jackets and skirts equate to a loss of twenty percentage efficiency ? ``

'' No, '' Ian replied, `` I mean yes, no, I mean it 's not furrow, its the improved efficiency in time management terms. ``

'' right field anyone really consider a fancy chair is the solvent to our problems ? '' Mike asked, `` Right thanks very much for that Ian, but some of us have work to do. ``

'' The eccentric 43 LE has a leather bottom, '' Ian explained, `` The LA Latex, and the 43 A polish Aluminium. ``

'' Do we actually care, '' microphone asked. `` Does anyone actually give a fuck ? ``

Ian smiled, `` The 43 D range is also available with a pick of seats as above and either a secure dildo in the FD model, or the rearing Rabbit in the RR or the fully computerised. ``

'' What ? '' microphone demanded, `` Do you entail Dildo ? ``

Ian continued, `` Absolutely, it provides hands unloose masturbation for female staff member, which our written report have shown is itself responsible for for notable efficiency improvement. ``

Karen suddenly took notice, `` What wanking while we work ? ``

'' Absolutely, '' Ian agreed, `` Why not ? ``

'' It 's disgusting ! '' Karen said awkwardly.

'' As is standing on one leg using the loo skirmish, '' Ian countered.

'' Have you been spying on me ? '' Karenic demanded.

'' Absolutely, '' Ian agreed, `` A full-of-the-moon clock time and motion survey was carried out and ninety percent plus of the time wasted was in the ladies loo which is why we suggest adopting the Hirondell Akamura concept for your office needs. ``

'' Look, Ian, '' Mike said angrily, `` I do n't want to voice rude but what the fucking has chairs and dildoes got to do with loo open frame or efficiency ? ``

'' The unparalleled conception of the type 43 allows the discreet, '' Ian continued.

'' For piece of tail sake ! '' microphone exploded, `` I have an agency to run, anything else ? ``

'' No, '' Karen said, `` Lets see, discerning wanking, is that it, does the intellection of cleaning woman wanking all day, frigging themselves endlessly on a lubber of plastic get you off or something ? ``

'' No ! '' said Mike blushing furiously.

'' I meant Ian, '' Karenic corrected.

'' No, not any more, '' Ian admitted.

'' So how the Inferno does char frigging themselves all day improve efficiency ? '' mike demanded.

'' By reducing head trip to the washroom, '' Ian explained, `` A 43D can reduce times to under seven second from 19 and a one-half, remember, while a 43C or DC or DCL can eradicate washroom visits almost entirely. ``

'' What the nooky is a 43 DC ? '' mike demanded.

Ian smiled, `` C is for chiffonier, with the separate backrest. ``

'' A fucking what ! '' mike exploded.

'' Commode, '' Ian explained.

'' Oh my god, you expect us to pee at out desks ! '' Karen gasped.

'' Yes, did n't I explain ? '' Ian said apologetically, `` I 'm new to this I 'm afraid, I usually sell used cars. ``

'' No, '' microphone said, `` Fucking hell. ``

'' We would require more money, '' Karen said.

'' But a 43 DC would open more job gratification, '' Ian offered.

'' I suppose, '' Karen agreed, `` We would need to try it. ``

'' Yeah, '' Maggie Karen 's co-worker agreed, `` Need to try it first. ``

'' Absolutely, '' Ian agreed, `` Would you like one to try here or would you like to come to our showroom ? ``

'' Here, '' Maggie said.

'' okeh dokey, '' Ian said, `` They come in Elwyn Brooks White, off Andrew Dickson White, melanize and atomic number 13, leather latex or aluminium seat, fixed dildo, rampant coney or fully computerised, and standard, stool or commode latrine model ? ``

'' We 'll have the GTX with alloy thingies, I do n't recognise ! '' Maggie chipped in.

'' Whats the difference of opinion ? '' microphone asked.

Ian looked at his booklet, `` Just over two thousand pound, the L has an cartridge remover fan over the C and. ''

'' Anything, '' Mike agreed, `` Lets get some work done OK ? ``

Ian continued, `` The early product you may like is the Hirondell Akamura type 12 office desk, with a unique sculpted edge and senior high school back to the working sphere and positive keyboard and handset localization combined with an ability to angle to 45 degrees. ''

'' Why the nooky would you want to tip a screen background to 45 degrees ? '' microphone asked.

'' Ah, it might be gentle to watch the picture, '' Ian suggested, `` Can I use your PC ? ``

'' Fucking hell, '' microphone snorted, `` Ok throw it snappy ! ``

Ian slipped his memory joint into Mike 's big combined tower and server and fiddled with the keyboard, an image flashed across mike 42 in monitor, a smartly dressed Japanese woman in a knee length skirt and jacket arriving at piece of work played twenty dollar bill times faster than real life.

She whizzed and twirled her way through reception and up the elevator to her office as subtitles flashed across the screen, hung her jacket crown up, and just as she slipped off her panty Ian slowed the film to designate the eccentric 43 with the backrest folded across the seat.

She lifted the backrest revealing the oval leather seat and the ceramic bowl below, she pulled the dildo up to the vertical berth, operated the flushing mechanics and gently eased herself down onto the dildo ensuring her chick fell into the gap between the back and the seat.

'' Stockings recommended, '' Ian explained as the subtitle flashed across in Korean or Chinese.

'' Bloody hell, '' Frank spoke for the first-class honours degree time as he watched her piano rap pussycat sass engulfing the slightly pliable white plastic dildo.

'' Jeee sus ! '' Charlie added as the sudden glimpse of the womanhood 's stocking tops, brace, inner thigh and shaved kitty-cat disappeared hidden by her skirt.

She put on her earpiece, started her computer and pressed a switch which moved the chair forward towards the high backed desk.

'' I 'll purr through the next bit, '' Ian explained as the cleaning woman smiled and then gyrated at what the speeded up tape made appear to be a frantic speed.

'' Damn ! '' Ian swore as a man quite suddenly entered the Japanese woman 's spot and pushed her over the desk, `` Back a bit, that is a type 12 desk, '' he explained, `` Watch how she smiles at her gaffer, see the electric chair is powering back, she stands, he drops his trousers, she bends and the desk careen 45 degrees until the tramp desk boundary supports her tummy. ``

'' Blimy look at his Charlie ! '' Maggie said, `` I mean his dong ! ``

The Japanese man stood suddenly freeze frame his tool rearing 250mm or Sir Thomas More as he stood behind the adult female, his trouser around his ankles while she continued to typewrite and talk to a customer on the phone.

They watched as he lifted her wench, the camera panned to the sopping wet dildo still spearing up from the ceramic pan below the chair posterior and back to her as she bent over the raised desk top, her shaved cunt glistening in anticipation.

caption flashed as he grabbed at his straining dick and eased it between her easy pink pussy lips, she gasped briefly and continued talking, her paw flying over the keyboard as he began to ream her, `` See she barely missed a min, '' he explained.

'' What she 's still taking the call ? '' Karen asked.

'' Oh yes, yes they have a bonus scheme, '' Ian said, `` He 's finished, '' he said as the Japanese man 's case contorted and a big beaming grinning lit the woman 's face.

The man wasted no clock time in grabbing a tissue from the dispenser built into the eccentric 43 back and wiping the girls cunt clean and dry, next he flipped the dildo to the down position and pushed the chair forward so the girl could sit down, and pulled the desk back to the horizontal.

She kept working, but a big smile crossed her expression, Ian rewound the video, `` There, she 's having a pee, see she 'll wipe herself, see there, and now, seem she 's re setting the dildo and she 's wanking herself again. ''

'' Bloody hell, you could get done for tapes like that ! '' Charlie exclaimed.

'' It 's a promotional video not pornographic fabric, '' Ian explained, `` Different regulations. ``

'' Is that a real federal agency ? '' Maggie asked.

'' Absolutely, '' Ian confirmed, `` Hirondell Akamura have sold thousands of these specializer products all over the pacific rim and of course the Chinese have a 'Forward borderland ,'written matter which has an unfortunate tendency to leak all over the floor, but they ca n't betray them here, but no, it 's a typical Japanese office and the Hirondell Akamura 12 and 43 are tried and tested kit. ``

'' What do they do there ? '' Karen asked, `` In that office as a matter of interest ? ``

'' Porno confabulation telephone circuit, lonely marrow, femdom, bondage, CBT, pissing, all the usual stuff, basically the same as you do here, '' Ian explained.

'' We sell lifetime Insurance, '' Frank explained laconically, `` You want next room access. ``

'' How about you let us have some for a trial, some 43s and a match of 12s, '' Mike suggested,

'' Then we can use the ma'am bog for a snooker room, '' Frank added, confirming what they already knew, he was quite quite mad.


To be continued ?

excuse if Hirondell Akamura actually exist