I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the Greco-Roman vogue of a set ashore gentleman's gentleman while riding in a tolerably hurt carriage pulled by a matched twain of Second Earl Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devon who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His saving grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His free grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then take aim me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty manner as I could muster.

'' In the townspeople sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the trouncing sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by right field he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to keep on possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this King John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that bit we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` practiced than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as prophylactic with your driving, you better let me push ! ``

We changed places and also changed coat and hat and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a near lick and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething hoi polloi of humanness confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should cause been carnage for we should never possess stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a wall hanging in Bodmin in August, for a heavy wooden stage had been set up against the Red lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the whole grocery second power was packed with all stratum and upon that microscope stage a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or break ripped from her and dangling from the bowed stringed instrument around her shank and her masked leather clad tormenter, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to deflect his blows by turning away he struck her shapely give away bosom and the nipple thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the range tied to a gamy beam high above her head which served to curb her so she could do nix but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a track of rip seeped already.

The crowd were spellbind and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public whipping was the height of their season, and all social class were present, merchants and tyke, prole and magnanimousness indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the purpose, the Lord Graham, his son, by his side and the dame Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the lady Catherine II.

'' We 'll tether the Equus caballus and take the air back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the equipage through a T bit and tethered the team outside the flying dragon Inn.

The maid was nothing but a hitch and bloodied mess when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Grant the judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the steps to the leg, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled multitude, `` His Grace Earl Howard told me to apply the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three calendar month hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` Federal Reserve note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalisation should never the to a lesser extent be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a grumble, `` Have you seen that I Judge Grant am a man of my parole and all are rival in my Court, that the lowest maid and eminent lady can expect equivalence of intervention ? '' he demanded. There was a murmuring of approval. `` That the Lady Catherine of Aragon received no preference when she abused her trustingness and slip a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five age toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge pound, the serving bird was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the theatre and six more shall she labor, '' he shouted, `` I offered lenience should she concede as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt, will not confess, will not justify and without contrition there can be no leniency, no wanton life history as a house handmaiden so shall she go forward as the lowest farm girlfriend until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labour for her father to renounce, I suggest she may have found the antipode preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` chiliad shalt not slip. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The daughter you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine of Aragon was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce think it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my heart beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her brass were now not painted but naturally reddish and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the grunge so her teddy fell away revealing an smoothing iron virtue belt.

A large laugh arose and clash Catherine from her out stationariness and she grabbed her torn gabardine around her, dire to save the modestness that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her teardrop had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the soil of her face.

'' That 's your little girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a sweetheart ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really courteous. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a droppings cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine II, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful appendage, but by and by we made progress until at duration the rube riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could proceed at its undecomposed stride which in all honestness was no in effect than when Catherine II had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordships piggery, set away from the independent house and farm because of the olfactory modality it was a low gem built building with a stone tile ceiling on timbers, and there in the mud and crud lived his Lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an atomic number 26 in the wall which I noted his lordship agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your stake here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most singular as to why the ma'am Catherine is so process. ``

'' She 's no gentlewoman ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the relaxation, '' he said and he tore away the lowest of her wearing apparel leaving her raw, `` She 'll get plenty of swill come morning and she can bask a life of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, right day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` strike down me at my father 's and acquire the posture. ''

I directed him the way to my Fatherhood modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and pasture my Father pretended to the reality that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a fourth dimension in my youth when my don spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the former son of a mo son, you have a good name but no fortune, so my son it is for you to produce your own fortune, shall you join the Militia, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No beginner, '' I had answered `` I shall be an explorer and trip the human beings in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the peeress Catherine the Great. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that time I had barely exchange two 12 actor's line with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my Department of Education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemical science and the way to establish purity of the wanted metals with an eye to seeking amber prospecting and so by degrees my teaching progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill yield I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at plate, a brief spell of terpsichore and fetes, and I saw the lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not entertainment but a rich suitor to woo her, but for the piece my company sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to realise a destiny in the New reality and wed Catherine the Great sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to bring back penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my intent. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London time of year starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea nausea afflicted me and it was a great succour when we hit a gale off the Longships Rand and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore nada would hasten me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

olibanum it was with soft disinterest that father watched Barrington push the passenger car up to our firm and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to look at its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as foretoken that it was as a simple rider in a hire conveyance rather than the man of sum as I appeared.

It was mother that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your hazard ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand pound sterling and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the U.S. 's ? '' Fatherhood asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passing to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timbre off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs cypher would induce me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha distinctive ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not secernate you that as the oldest son of a arcsecond son, you have a good name but no circumstances, and to create your own chance by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and travel the human race in search of hoarded wealth. ``

'' Then it 's a dandy shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father I worked the wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's crony 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead crinkle and gave counseling, just above the urine he said, and there it was a thin seam and I started on my own with a mickle axe and a package of cd, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and demolish my own rock by candle light, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock music and cast my own silver ingots, but the nervure was not broad, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the stone and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old grimace turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver seam clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our gem to Truro firearm by man moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's honour confirmed and marked to turn up it was indeed argent and as an aside we made closed chain and novelty by selective casting and we travelled the jeweller selling trinkets rings and spell of silver and with the yield I paid for the mine, and then we showed percentage of it to selected men of wealth saying there was paring there and machinery was needed to mine the mineral vein any encourage and I sold contribution until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't credit I sent my commencement ring to Lady Catherine, I had its sinlessness checked and hallmarked by Truro check office and I sent it anonymously but within the inner circle I engraved, `` To my love life JM. '' so she should know she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy story, '' Church Father averred, `` but come in and have an extra place set at dinner female parent. ``

'' What happened to peeress Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner party,

'' She stole a halo, '' Father said, `` A trinket from peeress fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid silver medal closed chain, '' female parent said, '' From peeress Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to intend you thought to marry her ! '' Father-God joked, `` There was something, Lady Fowler would have forgotten the whole matter of Catherine the Great would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the tintinnabulation, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' female parent said, `` All company attended, the evaluator, justice President Grant, insisted that the law were continue for her as for the depleted order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinoxes or the penny-pinching Saturday thereto and should serve as lady Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hogs in a athletic field ! '' founding father added, `` So the jurist he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to run hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his blessing passed a note to the jurist. '' Fatherhood added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to wear an iron chastity rap ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just envisage. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

don took up the tarradiddle, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was lamentable, she came with her Father and female parent and babe and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her ingenuousness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispers started that she would n't be flogged at all his state of grace paid for a point to be built beside the Red Panthera leo and promised fee ale and had the jurist bring her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were relinquish and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron collar around her cervix like any common criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred whip !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ring, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right in take turns strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed line into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front. ``

'' Her boob ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her tit, criss interbreeding hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred thong and all she could say was'I 'm ingenuous .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' don said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's droppings spreading hale up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a study from a shooting iron, of course of study being a fine madam, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she kind of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all sorts of filth at her. ``

'' They put a hammock around her to conceal her nakedness, '' founding father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her kip and live with the pig, she measures out their swill, some say she shares it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' female parent said, `` The yokels used to like to torture her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' Father added, `` Rock break, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was funfair. ``

'' To think you wanted to deem your hat up to a vernacular felon, she 'll have to become a handmaid or wed a rube, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such affair being a sometime Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine II refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Henry Watson Fowler 's would feature no motivation of her dowry. ``

I knew something was ill-timed, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the public square behind the dung handcart on mid summer day and the olfactory property was something nasty, so finish week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' father said, `` Like a bad maneuver, a dirty yokel in a richly embroidered attire brought in the Earls spare carriage, but the lour Holy Order loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the apparel off her and showed the under-things of a exquisitely ma'am that the lower lodge may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the razz when they bared her mamilla, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' founder asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had business in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' fountainhead you are a very lucky boy, '' mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your calf love you may suffer wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Fatherhood explained, `` A thousand guineas, eh, dulcify the pill eh ! all her demand and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her natal day and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less diseased. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my wreak wearing apparel and borrowed father 's sawbuck for a drive to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a crook I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice morning time, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty missy, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get theme, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist joint against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have sharp dentition and a impregnable bite. ''

'' A osculate then, a soft caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sack for a smock but it was loose and her knocker were clearly displayed.

'' I can not run away you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a substance pie, and for that I shall permit that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have tart tooth and pointed elbow joint. ``

'' Then a inwardness pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the mountain range attached from her handcuff ankle to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are Lady Catherine of Aragon, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a by life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my grueling labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a sum pie you shall experience, '' I promised, `` And a jam sporting lady if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for PIE ? '' she asked, `` pie not promises will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of pie, I bought a slash at the Red Panthera leo and a jam cyprian and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the gist pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so good, warm food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you hope Thomas More then tempt me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and bent my head.

Her pap stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not excruciate me with gentle kiss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me pain me but do not have it away me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my tending ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me assuage you swiftly I shall not seize with teeth I promise, you may use my mouth. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my rear of barrel feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Kuki and nose and lid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` let me. '' I took my deal kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her face, `` You should let allowed my candy kiss, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a farseeing passionate candy kiss and you shall consume a crybaby leg and orchard apple tree pie adjacent clip pass. ``

'' And pull up stakes me all wanting, I think not, I should rather thirst. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to nurse you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a question, `` Why did you slip the closed chain ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your pursuit ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great collar, '' I said, `` But I own I should care to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your don ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these secret plan, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than stick out your company and eat Proto-Indo European and sporting lady, chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my knockout, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my Equus caballus blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's firm, riding horseback this sentence, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your free pardon sir but whom should I tell his gracility for I can not recall your public figure. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too impressed by my garb to realise who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a bomb adventurer who sought riches in the Americas and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck excavation in Cornwall, enough for a lawsuit of wearing apparel and a horse in any case. ``

'' And your reason for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine of Aragon, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no dissent if I woo her, fling wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a Equus caballus and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect lucifer, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall get the key to her chastity belt, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your mettle content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the matter of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great heart for Catherine and would wish to have her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruination, an old geezer of the 13th one C by its gull I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you assort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to go forth, and to my surprise as he left the elbow room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite unusual, indeed very strange to be given a free hand with the gentlewoman Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my buck blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Holy Scripture to Church Father or Mother but next day I bought joint chicken leg, and an apple pie and some limited umber with mild essence containing fine wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a sawhorse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her various times across the shoulder with a rough branch he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to stool yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to snuff out his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfactory modality of chicken, '' she smiled, `` narrate me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the volaille to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity swath. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her heart welled with rent, she sobbed softly, `` I shall exact you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall find a mild bed and then I shall take you. ``

'' Do you not want me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can look, '' I admitted, `` But can you stand firm me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ringing, `` It was ex, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell from the Deutsche Mark when the hoop was made, for myself I thought it but a bangle. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten instant as he was very busy, yet he called his man to cancel his assignment when I explained the berth and that I was enamoured of Catherine II and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the chit from the jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweler to Lord and peeress Gower produced a record that the doughnut was resized some old age ago for Lady Fowler 's ancestor, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy deoxyephedrine and indeed gave a precise escort of industry some hundreds of age prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay stamps do n't kick in the century merely the year it may be 13th or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the vogue, but not from the Marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a come of doubtfulness Mr Matson, '' The jurist agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall make enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went abode. Fatherhood was in an excitable mood, and after dinner party he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A low one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will pursue you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a portion to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but prevent it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to hear bathroom but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my way, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine II again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to take reward and her cover was stolen so I found her a cover and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to osculate her, `` My sass is foul with the pigman expelling. ``

'' poor poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' take on away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tarradiddle of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first base to you by messenger, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple gaud. ``

'' No, I never received any novelty, Francis gave me a fine antique mob and then denied the giving which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with bout, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my portion which I admitted to being in surplus of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of Father-God loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so no-count, I presume too a lot. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig goo but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes wide-cut of tears and incongruous in her vulgarism, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can bonk me then that is my fondest indirect request. ''

I went home with the failing light leaving her to gather sufficient hog around her to keep her warm through the hanker cold night.

'' His Honour Judge grant wishes to see you King John, '' founding father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the swell urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the greatest speed and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The tintinnabulation, I do think unseasoned Henry Watson Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey comrade, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchandiser do you cognize. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my decisions are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall charge for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall adjoin at Mr George III Ratner 's emporium, a unretentive base on balls away, '' he ordered, `` Ten abrupt mind. ``

I went directly to the St. George Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a marvellous breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a fuss of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the evaluator greeted me, `` In the rearwards room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss boyfriend was a prominent offspring woman, she strode into the shop class on Haven Street accompanied by her maid and her Mother, `` How daring you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mom has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` oldtimer atomic number 47, very uncommon, ''

'' A present from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester duomo. '' the judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may give been but Mr Henry Watson Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss young man the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand lbf. or in that realm, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by play they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the Lapp but this was fiddling unlike to those Barrington and I had cast at wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the meth and I also examined the pack, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very comrade, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of diamonds but this was simply plainly, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own annulus,

'' Ah, First Marquess Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester tintinnabulation. '' before I could accumulate my thoughts.

The judge gave miss Fellows a receipt for the band and asked that he might interview Mr Henry Watson Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the bearing of the Judge he said, `` I would say this one C. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the seat dividing line, I have stared at that adequate times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what mental ability ? ``

'' Miner, extractor, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their al-Qur'an and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two rings could give come from the same mold ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The cuss one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a item. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servant quarters at the Emporium, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jeweler, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the Judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall audience her, come. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went place and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad troupe and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw second power where a healthy number of people were already there and I became mindful that the motor hotel was rapidly filling, the sr. Mr fowler father of Francis Henry Watson Fowler was in the backside behind me looking grim and at once angry and disquieted, and then when I was seated for a half hour the evaluator clerk ordered `` All acclivity, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first compositor's case is Rex versus fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little attorney announced.

'' No it does n't delight me bring Franics John Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when fowler appeared from the cells escorted by militia the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you incur this gang ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon young woman gent to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must dissent, '' the lawyer complained.

'' secretiveness ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting way, `` So where did you hold this oldtimer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk appearance her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave devout Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the lady Catherine stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four assay Deutschmark. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Godhead, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an antediluvian Assay office and one can not tell in which century a piece was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The evaluator replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to boss with the Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no melodic theme, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you illuminate us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique gang and lied also that ma'am Catherine of Aragon stole the ringing '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona George Herman Ruth Henry Watson Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly madam Catherine II Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on explosive charge of theft also on Friday, I shall receive lotion for bail for both matters in my bedroom after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the commercial enterprise of the trial of Manningham, Almighty grayness 's gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mr. john for the thievery of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you offer up ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty Guinea here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall ship Son, but she will need article of clothing so spend your ten Numida meleagris wisely. ``

I had little time so I a few retainer smock were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the militia brought Catherine the Great back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunica, `` I have come to digest bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the safeguard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' rest home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then contain me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwished in any shop class so I purchased such for her and a haircloth comb and indulgent leather slider then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on legion small-scale low arches and after tethering the knight she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the breast deep watch glass clear water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulders soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood proud and firm bodied with not an ounce of supernumerary fat, her udder sweeping from her boob like as verbalize perfection, just the mark of the whip trails to plague her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the spate of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her long yellow straw like haircloth like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the soap slowly did her tomentum regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the span parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her virtue belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an time of day and more of splash and frolicking before she felt clean and donned a new gaberdine and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall drive you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' liar, he sold me for a British shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodge house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and handmaiden, and as was the recitation I paid for two elbow room and used but one.

She ate heartily with the retainer that evening and when I retired following a convivial but sober eventide with some travelling salesmen and merchandiser I found her prepare in my bed, fast gone, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her external respiration and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her lovingness aroused me and I explored her entirely with my finger and with special charge I explored where the sexual abstention knock had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her legs all-encompassing and after exploring her softness with my fingerbreadth eased the gentle flock asunder and eased the violet head of my manhood into her easy wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degree and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter inch by twenty-five percent column inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warmly and wet and tight, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with love until my potentiality returned and I entreated her to allow me to delight her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a Ugandan shilling, and many more shillings for soap, I do conceive you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few more times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authority that the pain subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should bear a commodity few intromission before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was futile and pressed place my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her flabby flexure enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a gamy sheet of Shangri-la entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not anguish, `` I do believe you may be right, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your beloved and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passion and in a while her passion overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted rich amounts seminal fluid within her to quench her internal fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you bask being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any subject you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the hope of two hundred pounds changed his nous, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our consultation and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's clothes for the sum of xv bob !

The Reverent Pearl Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham Assizes in the Court house.

Catherine of Aragon chose to wear her red velvet dress with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should feature been, to the shock and consternation of the yokels clustered around the court who expected her to be draw near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the world seats and not taken to the prison cell until called to the dock.

The proceeding were over in the wink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine the Great, formerly Lady Catherine Howarth. '' the shop assistant announced.

'' Is there a face for the prosecution. '' the justice demanded of a humble lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the jail cell, '' the jurist remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall verbalize up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the attorney, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simpleton fault, and I 'm certain Mre Fellows and Mr Francis colleague would magnanimously forgive the girl and release her from her prison term. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the attestator box as Mrs fowler stepped down.

'' Your annulus, Mr Matson, please differentiate the court where you obtained it. '' The evaluator asked, once I had sworn the truth to tell, `` The one on your finger. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' Show me, '' The evaluator insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Fowler one, did you ca-ca that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for noblewoman Catherine of Aragon, it was engraved `` With my sexual love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the justice insisted, `` It is pass the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the courtroom Catherine, gentlewoman Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the judicature with no mark upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic style of a landed Gentleman with my beloved in a new apparel and shawl procured from Mrs damage -Wright and we rode in my tolerably impertinent baby buggy pulled by a matched pair of Greys,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation battle cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' Look just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her Church Father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never utter again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a Somalian shilling, a sightly price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her fount like stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made probationary enquiries and when Catherine II approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a veritable birdcall as it was in an unfashionable elan, and the legal guardian of the deep Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the play along Friday trial, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the evaluator so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the sentence which their perjurious financial statement brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred thong and be transported and Mrs Henry Watson Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinoctial point and shall serve Lady Catherine the Great who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine the Great looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and escort were set, snow fuss set the food market berth white like fairyland and made the point slippery and the hangman stood as whip man again.

They led the Mother in maiden, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy wintertime robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hands above her principal, and tore her ness off her.

'' That was the worst bit John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no melodic theme at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when noblewoman Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he snap away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under affair covered her and then with rendings and watering her tore her to nakedness. not even a sexual abstention belt protected her modesty, as the paradiddle of fat and lushness were laid bare.

She stood in blind panic and all was not well with the whipping as her soft flesh rip almost the initiative blow.

There was consternation, and the Judge Grant ordered legal proceeding halted, and he came up to Catherine the Great, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your gist to convert the condemnation ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suited charge per unit nightly whilst the madam fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A Wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassionateness noblewoman Catherine of Aragon has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her domicile and in accession has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to dish the slob. ``

The female parent was thus cut down and the Fowler son in play brought up, the yahoo lost interest but the maids became interested in their turn as his crownwork and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a R-2 round his manacle hands, and then his breeches were hauled down and the starting time blow was administered across his pull up stakes shoulder joint and then a second across his right berm, and he bore it stoically while ten or more blows were landed and then in the way of such people he began to damp down, but it was not until after the first 20 blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maid had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the blows landed so his manhood found the gap in his under knee breeches and reared through the gap though by many measure it was both myopic and fat it caused immense gaiety, indeed Catherine the Great turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the reverse continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' looking at, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked good sense of devilment the whips-man flashed the whip between Fowlers legs and deep into his loins and all at once his manhood became animise and spewed Forth River such a disgusting greyish substance, like three day old milk, that stout women fainted.

'' To cerebrate I might have married that ? '' Catherine the Great gasped, `` I own six month in a pig sty was in all ways preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling stifle and with half the reversal unadministered he was carried away wasted to the clink to recover before a farther session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first and we travelled home by go-cart driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find permanent employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine was heartsick although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Father and mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver