`` What storey ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding high above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The couch level, '' a woman with a plummy idiom insisted, `` It 's staining the cap downstairs it really is not good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' British capital ! '' she said.

'' That was week ago ! '' I explained.

'' Well it 's not just enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a vague hope, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall anticipate you at seven this evening, that should give you time for exhibitioner and a cheeseflower burger. ``

'' That 's rush along hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving London Darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't have much choice really, so I thew my tool in the old transit at knocking off fourth dimension and headed round momma for a bit to eat and a exhibitioner before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her station around ten to seven, an old forge townspeople theater with a few footfall up to the nominal head room access and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath Harlan Stone faced to showtime trading floor level then render, a red brick complex body part basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're early, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' Well improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to allow me into the hallway. She looked late thirties acted like ninety, bigheaded bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a little girl 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the char insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maids outfit about four sizes too small, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her omphalos which must have got been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your orb back in, they 're on still hunt ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the faculty. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh waken up and smell the deep brown, '' she insisted, `` Really the belittled mindedness of the distinctive British actor never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my concern Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that kept woman. ``

'' Do n't promote it. '' she said as she locked the outside door behind me, `` But we are not here to talk over my sexual preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed glossa and groove strip down pine tree, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a stiff smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement roof. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` wetting, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water passing water, '' I explained, `` But the periodic release should be amercement. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coating, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had better see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the step from the spacious modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the entrepot room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water supply, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger's breadth against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing system go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the foul drain, nothing to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me demonstrate. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our invitee the job. ``

'' schoolmistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man schoolmistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a moment, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My thinker boggled, she had done her just but her tits still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the bottom couple of inches of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please fancy woman, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid nipper, '' she insisted.

I had no idea what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No damned wonder it leakage and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Thomas pot, Armitage ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your minuscule bear in mind globe have you no knowledge of water mutation ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, H2O skiing, but not pissing on the living elbow room flooring. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some space,

'' cum Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't disgrace a wax grown lapin. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you intend Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a nice strict forearm to the transitory stiffness of the male person appendage, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob flavour if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a curtly rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like hammer, '' the Mistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floor ? '' I asked.

'' Your erecting young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of course of action I got a hard on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' 90 seven percent of the adult population, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a minority fetich Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would prefer the old Norman Mattoon Thomas stool urinal to the living way story any day. ``

'' But, given the pick of her mouth, my mouth, in my hair's-breadth, in her hair, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a idea, '' I admitted.

'' The exemption to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to keep bedchamber heap under the bed when my G dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't serve, does n't the thought of your urine arcing through the air to hook my dress, my bra, my chest, does that not charge up you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your lips are silent yet your rooster speaks volumes, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like pecker, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` poor fille she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a short lead, from her revealing clothing to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all purport and purposes, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walk in the park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop liquid ecstasy. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the lavatory, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a cunt. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my jeans, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' feel, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic activity not readily mistake for any former. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' flavour, '' I said, `` You need coats and coating of varnish, yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in thinker when you had the place done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract bridge, strictly President Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a technicality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not bring around the trouble ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How a great deal ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coating, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for materials, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's mouthpiece, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper middle class squawk, who would n't want to puddle in her face ? but Pippa, well, to be true I just wanted to ram my straining cock oceanic abyss in her sweet pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for age have you sweetie ? ``

'' No fancy woman, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like shaft do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you fingerbreadth and my toys schoolma'am, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft smirch for it but as I mentioned a rigid forearm beats a flexible cock on every exclusive level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole way bare, no furniture, it will be about a workweek after the last pelage before you can risk using it again, twelve hr before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet elbow room in the basement, tile the flooring like a exhibitioner, tile the walls a bit too, not white but maybe slate Grey or something, then you can play there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a impermanent measure and for those atrocious wet nighttime, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to make a job we really need to take out the existing, stick in a membrane. ``

'' How a great deal ? '' she demanded. I gave her a testis parking lot, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two days, then you 'll require a plumber to do the exhibitioner top dog or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you originate. '' she asked.

'' Monday week if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colour Isaac Mayer Wise it should be easy enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` netmail me the net quotation and I am for certain we have a deal. Can I get you a methamphetamine of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bulge in my dungaree.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' goodness, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` bye-bye Pippa, nice to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front door, `` The market keeper 's entering is down the dance step to the right field, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' commodity nighttime, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the theodolite with a big smile on my face, I just turned a complaint into two days paid work.

Now that 's a event,

Oh you wanted to hear about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a bloody pervert !

To be continued