ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a sullen November night in Yorkshire. 19 Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Lights of Grisegarth signaling box on t'British capital and North Eastern railroad line could be seen for miles.

Passenger train come past times, headed for Grimsby, engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire Railway. Four big driving cycle as big as a man and four little 'uns out front. Over thirty year old, mislay time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham commodity. On footplate were Whitney Moore Young Jr. Tommy Aisgarth. He were actual excited, officially like as he were engine dry cleaner, but he's done test for fireman and it were his inaugural time out firing engine on long trip, He had been on shunting engines many time after having reached eighteen the age for working on locomotive footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied chap, near as fat as he were tall, too bloody fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 social class loco, built by George III Robinson in 1922 but today he had a well-nigh new J39, a modest flashy railway locomotive built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened power train to 40 beach waggon, 600 tons.

It were maximum warhead for J39 and Tommy had to work like a trojan, shovelling coal trying to keep up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator one-half open and the valves in total gear to make Tommy sweat. He could have saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past tense Moresby top to summit box, all sign off and only two minutes down with water bobbing in the merchant ship nut of gauge glassful, Ted shut governor and shouted for Tommy to put experience steam injector on to fulfil boiler.

railway locomotive began to blame up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing plate for a brew.

"Plenty of sentence for that lad,"Ted says,"meter for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody hell, sodomise me, I mean not bugger me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"look lad, on footplate Driver's in cathexis and I'm device driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nothing, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend hard cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a doll let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an purchase order from thee number one wood ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offence is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for sign, told I to get overeat and made I shovel ember as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a nasty sodomist,"says Tommy as geartrain picked up speed down money box,"But I ‘ ant no choice ‘ as I."

Well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in drinking glass so Tommy opened ardor doors to cool.

"Come on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his bang and slipped his bloomers down.

Ted smirked"duad thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's damn red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"knack on to bloody water supply scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankles gripping on to H2O scoop cycle while Ted eased hs braces off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to reveal a short-circuit fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs cock at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen clock time when suddely wallop.

Teddy boy cock pressed an inch into Tommy's tight ass hole as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a awful crashing of busted wood and alloy engine reared up at book binding end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock absorber of his ass hole busting but then Ted was screaming and there was ember off the tender and busted wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were pause bit of bearing all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the flame threshold lever tumbler to spread out ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever tumbler was jammed but ith the open position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water system caliber lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the visible radiation. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt vomit up and wanted to laugh at the Saame time.

"I go to sign box for rule 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of engine and headed for box.

Turned out press out engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed legal tender, Vacuum pasture brake had stopped it and goods had run through five signals before hitting express up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he relaxation of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and air hole watch.

"By eck tha's a favorable chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean value ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'crash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, precedence is principle 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a hunky-dory railroader, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his watch before some other bugger does."

"Tha's a cauterize sod,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his firefighter, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No bugger liked him, tight fisted fat work-shy asshole,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad Katherine Anne Porter in a uniform jacket and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting way at the station when he woke up. stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a bang,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from recreation room ?"inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"wellspring go and relieve passenger fire-eater, he banged his head word, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to bugger I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ boulder clay lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no trouble wi engine and Sid took him to lodge,"We usually part double bed drier and stoker together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a tart,"he laughed.

poor Tommy, he had to kip on story. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe forty yr old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for unit night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"looking why be a gooseberry bush, sod off and keep our Dolores caller why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the seams on her cardigan, her mouth were like deep red, her eyes were like, well oculus, one were blue and the former weren't, her hair was consummate gold wi black roots, her thighs were summat else and her face, had all the right chip and well thee don't have to depend at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"hello Dolly,"says Tommy.

"comic eh ?"she says.

"Nay fireman,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"goodness, I'm doing Hospitality grade,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got examination on calendar week after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a blighter off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final examination term,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me shaft for blast job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"dolly says."They told me to say that no matter how big it is,"she admitted.

"Belt up and enwrap thee laughing fishing gear bout it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be raw,"doll says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his lode, luckily it missed her dress and Cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're screwing useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to cover to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a proper aspect out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't form of fella to dob any sodomist in so he says,"Having a shit on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"Inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any metre soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass hole, fact is he got two ass fix now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"nooky surgeon at railway system Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass maw,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new career in circus as the man we two asses !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather birth two cocks ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster whole kit and boodle, he saw engine with coach association on Tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"inspector told him.

As biff would have it Ted got septicaemia and died, poor bugger ‘ adn't no one, no family or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the trades union paid for funeral undertaker and for the best arcsecond hand casket instrument agent had in stock out of penis subs.

Funeral day and four cuss took some shag and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any prison term soon before they carried it in to church building and set the coffin down, then when service started. priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's last mate.

"I couldn't pin Ted. Ted were an ugly fat lazy bugger, a bloody liar and a shit mate. He neber oiled his railway locomotive proper nor nothin'He died ‘ lawsuit he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trousers down and his ass jammed on firehole room access lever knob."A great belly laugh came from the half dozen or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amon, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a quiet news wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be reliable,"Vicar said,"But in twenty years I never heard such an fair eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest idea what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its better to give than receive.

And Dolly ? She failed the examination and had to be active to London as they has turn down banner for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .