Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm master Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody verbalize as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad slip back from US on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass were safe and went to see blooming Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with trappings to fit. Agent were a slimy mongrel with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bally desk about the size of a blinking cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"commodity day captain, I am delighted to fill you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody judgement,"I explained to the unlettered Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the face,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, slice of eight, that sorting of brass."

"We thought you have in mind Brass,"his help chipped in. She was like a short-circuit haired gorilla in a Black apparel with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody mere enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"face is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever cunt eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a fucking fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in agile. Daft dickhead on return near fainted at sizing of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody Day voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass section in cant and could come in home instead of scratting bout down Dixieland USA way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour passe-partout what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a Nice plump fresh brownness one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let virtually of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hellhole do I determine a squeamish plump Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be damn golden to happen one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or get married a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party menu exterior. and it were just after noonday so I thought I would have a chomp to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or quarter o carte du jour so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and noon metre was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

director come up to me and asked me clientele,"looking at for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of whore houses.

"Nay I want a woman for support see, If I pay out a reasonable bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an plus see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets damn gonorrhoea and me cock bunk off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing ambit of virtue whack,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that master wi his back to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a stick at, why not relieve oneself him an whirl ?"

I looked, some poncy old old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and free fall o wine that woudn't sustain a blooming church mouse.

"That's William Christopher Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a twosome of girl to offload like ?"I says square out.

"And who the infernal region are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's crashing decorum,"I says,"I ent no mansion painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me blooming mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgo, two legs, two arms, brace of bloody tits, own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can do in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George V,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your visiting card right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard immediate payment, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his Ilex paraguariensis grabbed his arm.

"George III, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowery he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy partner warned him not to appear too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a land mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His piazza needed a poke of paint and the pantryman's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servants one-quarter,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"senior pilot Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and address me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody spot or thee'll experience me blinking belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your amnesty,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody char turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Leslie Townes Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No criminal offense like,"I says as she belts me round off the chops, we her squeamish hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty patch ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wishing to court one of our daughters dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was lord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"noblewoman Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all booster here,"master Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly Elwyn Brooks White,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe dangerous undertaking in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"tempest, Tempest, bloody feed water heart bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a fucking shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"gentlewoman Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut to the full on't it, bloody shipping lark."I said,"brass is in bloody minelaying that's what I reckon, mellow bloody time to bloody square up down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more crashing like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no nasty bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit crashing nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Almighty Mc were in on't as well.

ma'am Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into front room."Girls,"she says,"Come and foregather skipper er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The for the first time fille were knockout, blonde fuzz on her shoulders, blue eyes, lame rigged attire showcasing her nipple, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the servants, any route her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second firstborn,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me bally judgment and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my thinker too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the elbow room,"Queen Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody nether region, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a crashing kid wi a all-fired hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody chap

"Reet Francis, hedging your all-fired wager were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody fella or a fucking bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"trade good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nest in your whiskers ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no involvement in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit damn quick, good chance her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"wellspring I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blooming end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blooming Virgo the Virgin I ‘ ll screwing thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"Little Phoebe hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a mob on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this fiend for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife young girl, not just a all-fired bawd to shag, someone to face after me damn house, cook, sporting look after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or heart then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a bloody roll in the hay, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a damn gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty small-arm ent her ?"I queried,"I got the Cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were all-fired messing."

overlord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"learn a glass of wine senior pilot,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the former daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and variety Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the little girl dissent,"Stop it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that awe-inspiring man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a evenhandedly flaming toll, what's improper wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the auditory sensation up the stair me hobnail boot clattering on sassy polish oak base, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her attire off and looked like she been whacked across case with a suddenly Melanogrammus aeglefinus. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee duration stockings, no knickers or cipher but showing her private parts and prissy creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her ramification wide,"Take a looking master,"ma'am Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blinking bullies, sodomist off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of ignitor off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody tune,"farewell them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to mangle me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the room access shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pop your bloody female parent if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't eat into lass, I never had to pressure a flaming wench to have it off me in me flaming life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hired hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to voice her pussy brim with me digit. It weren't the start meter. Her cunt was well used.

"flavor like you been blooming shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you get laid ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big sea robber belt and let me trews fall,"LET call up it our short bloody unavowed shall us ?

"Look police captain,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no damn strangers to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her slight nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a roll in the hay,"I explained,"Can't await me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But maitre d'hotel,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no practiced ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck opening, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh public treasury I got me natural language in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee damn remove me ?"I asked me knob straining like a fucking Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were similar saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. right field in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell sizing bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bally fucked ent so flaming bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek nerve for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me all-fired load in thee its for bloody spirit like, if thee can't belly it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me crashing load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly sea captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not throttle yourself and I believe you have a variety heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot down a social disease of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bally crinkling and me pecker was fucking throbbing and suddenly it were too late for fucking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next prison term perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a dotty boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock heavily I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teats if it helps to agitate you."And with that she pulled her bosom right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to sense your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite word,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her closing. Our mouths met, our glossa entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your spit in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old cranny, congratulations,"Almighty Mc chortled,"Let us consume the engagement announced in Lancashire even post.

"sodomist that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody married couple, no bloody want to waste bloody governing body on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed prescribed like, and do you jazz after we fucked a time or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lightness behind her. But at end of flaming day its what they fucks like what matters and she's bloody hotshot and no error, even if she do come from crashing Lancashire .