Let me start by saying that I have never been raped nor have I raped anyone.

All my experience is strictly sec script, however it is extremely sexual.

binding in the mid 90s if you looked at my life on newspaper you might reasonably ask dubiousness like, `` What do you eat ? Where do you sleep ? How do you survive ? ! ``

Let 's just say that you 'd be surprise how long one can come through on cypher more than charm and good looks.

Now if I were to say that back then I was an carry through tongue wagger that would most certainly be a double entendre.

Not that I was n't also a brilliant conversationist, the perfect company guest really, but I traced the tarradiddle of love in the wall of Thomas More than one strumpet chamber if you follow me.

And if you do n't follow me then it 's twat, I 'm talking about eating pussy.

I would n't say that I was known for it, but the women that knew, knew the shtup out of it.n

Once, when I started dating this girl who happened to be acquaintance with one of my X she asked her, `` Is there anything I need to bonk about this Eric guy ? ``

And my ex says, `` I 'm not gon na let you piece my brain but I will tell you this, he eats pussy better than any womanhood I 've ever been with. ``

Now I 'm not saying this to vaunt, but rather to let you know who it was that met this girl out drink that night.

backrest then I was quite the bar fly with strangers buying me drinks all the time, and even bartenders would buy me drinks when they were busy because I helped entertain their guests and kept 'em there drinking.

I even had some buy me drinks when they were slow just because they themselves enjoyed talking to me.

Anyway, one Nox at an underground watering hole that I frequently visited she came up to me.

I 'll call her Lori, since that was her epithet, and she was a little spitfire.

She was not at all like the woman I had mostly dated before.

Most of my erstwhile devotee had been entire bodied charwoman with big tits.

Not because of any preference of mine necessarily but rather those were the fille that nigh often hit on me.

My thinking back then was do n't hit on adult female, but flirt mercilessly, and the little girl strong-growing enough to hit on you are not only totally down to sleep with, but probably fast-growing in the bedroom too.

By that I do n't mean violent or anything but you know, like the sort of girls who are more likely to suck cock.

I love eating kitty but sex is about might substitution so I also love getting my cock sucked by a lady friend who at least likes to do it.

See, I do n't bonk, I make love.

Even if I barely know you, even if it 's a one night stand.

I never do it with anything to a lesser extent than my solid nub because I know that every meter could be my last, and I do n't require to go out like no halfassed niggling bitch.

But back to the bar ;

low gear of all she was small in height, which I did n't notice at first sitting next to her at the bar.

However I did notice her curly black hair and the lentigo across her clit nose.

It also did n't hold a hell of a long time for me to cipher out that she wanted my attention and did n't mind buying me drinking to get it, which was my jam back then.

I only had to advise once that I might have to go soon because I was out of money and she immediately volunteered, `` I 'll buy your boozing man, halt here and pay heed out with me ! ``

Now let me stimulate it clear that I am not a over whore.

If she had n't been pleasant company I would n't induce stayed.

I mean I totally would 've downed a duad of free beverage but then I would bear split instead of drinking with her until last call and going back to her place.

Most cleaning lady in that billet take you home and fuck you stupid, at least in my experience, but not Lori.

I mean we kissed, we cuddled, it was nice, but she would n't go past a certain point.

But I did n't retrieve anything of it really.

The way I saw it, and the way I still see it is, I was, ultimately, a unknown guy, inebriate, twice her size and weight unit, and in her distance, whatever she did or did n't want to do, that was a okay with me because I ai n't trying to make nobody uncomfortable.

The next morning after we got cleaned up I said I had to pull up stakes to try solid food and she was immediately like, `` Oh, are you hungry ? Let me get you something to eat. ``



That 's pretty a great deal how it went from there.

Whenever I expressed a demand she offered to fulfill it, no enquiry asked.

I never had to ask her to political party, and she could go shot for shot with me, which for a missy her sizing was goddamn impressive.

Do think that I was kind of a professional wino at this point.

When I did mold it was in the eating house business which in capital of Tennessee meant the bar business.

I was a Captain Cook and my joke about that is, `` My first chef was an alcoholic. In early watchword, a chef. ``

When it 's your job to make other hoi polloi 's fun you need to possess fun doing it so to facilitate that alcoholic drink and various other drugs were used quite liberally when I worked in the business.

cordial reception was our business, and being in the south we always strived to be spare hospitable.

Just as a picayune aside, there are many matter about the south that are uncanny, fucked up, and need to vary, but the mind of being a courteous host, and a maintaining a certain story of civility and good manners, even between foe ?

We need to cling on to that jack like grim end because that 's a ethnic norm worth preserving.

If you can contend with your foeman with a modicum of respect you may discover a way to make them your friends, but if not at the very least you can hate each other in ataraxis.

So Lori basically kept me, and since she paid the piper she called the melodic phrase.

We met on a Fri, spent the weekend together, and when Mon rolled around she was tangible insouciant about leaving me at her place when she went to work.

She was just like, `` You can hang out here, eat, watch TV, or whatever. If you leave just lock the door, and if you want you can promise me later and I 'll pick you up. ``

It was just so cool how she let me know she wanted me there but I could walk right out and she would n't be mad or anything.

At least that 's the way it came off to me.

By then I had met her roomy, this redheaded woman who was just as wild as Lori, and totally nice.

In fact, yeah, we all three went back to their lieu that first night.

At first I thought maybe it was a threesome situation but as soon as we got there it was more than authorize that she 'd been there as Lori 's fold wingman.

She seemed really glad to see Lori cuddling up with me, and I did n't intend anything of it.

I just figured that she was a skilful friend, and she was, but of form there was more going on.

My make out sessions with Lori were getting pretty fucking hot and heavy, and I kind of felt something was up because sometimes when she stopped matter from going further she seemed a little ill at ease.

We had n't fucked yet, or even gotten oral, but she was paying for me and could do what she liked as far as I was concerned.

I think because of my easy going attitude and her power to adjudicate character reference it did n't take long before she trusted me enough to open up and tell me what the deal was.

Apparently she had been raped a few age earlier and it had really fucked with her foreland in regard to sex.

She had n't been with anyone since then because of the trauma, and although I did n't think of it in these terms at the fourth dimension I 'm sure that she had some PTSD.

She asked if I could be patient with her and of class I was more then glad to comply.

The shocking division about this, besides the obvious, was that Lori was a powerful, confident woman, and she had grit as they used to say.

I mean she was a real pistol.

Clever, funny remark, and strong willed as she was it was hard for me to imagine her being anyone 's victim.

I mean if it could happen to her, damn !

Not to vocalise too ghetto about it, but if she could get got what chance does the intermediate gripe have ?

She was so dessert and kind that the musical theme of anybody hurting her really made me angry and sad, but the idea that they could spoil something as wonderful as sex for her was just so awry to me.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

It was like a asshole sandwich and the shekels is made of SOB.

At that item it became kind of a holy commission for me.

Sex is one of the gracious things we humans do with each other so if I could help her to savor it again then by God I was gon na do everything I could.

So we carried on and now that I was armed with more knowledge of the situation I was able to see that I had been playing it right, but I refined my technique.

For illustration, before when she 'd put the breaks on things I 'd back off as far as I felt I needed to in ordering to make her well-heeled without being low temperature or remote.

Sometimes continuing to hold her, but even if she needed me to plump for way off, to where I was lying succeeding to her, I 'd still hold her hand, or allude my foot to hers, or something to let her screw that I was staying with her, and it was all cool.

I still did those affair but I was more cognisant of how she felt, and responded accordingly.

Like one time I was on top of her.

We had been kissing and kind of dry humping when she suddenly stopped me, and she really seemed kind of scared.

So I flipped us over so that she was on top of me, and then I laid my arms back in a slavish posture, speaking softly, reassuringly.

Saying thing like, `` It 's okay baby, I 'm not gon na do anything you do n't want me to. '' and just reinforcing the thought that this was her party, and she was in charge.

There 's something that 's so gratifying about being able to fulfill someone 's emotional penury, and although I may not be a licensed sex therapist I did some work with Lori that I 'm really gallant of.

Eventually she was able-bodied to relax enough to live my oral examination skills, and we did ingest penetrating sex as well.

The first off time was on the sofa in the living room.

We were making out, kissing caressing, kissing, and petting, our usual stuff, when she suddenly just said, `` I want to do it ? ``

'' Are you sure ? '' I asked.

'' Yeah, I 'm trusted. '' she assured me, pushing on my chest for me to get up.

She was wearing a doll so she just slipped out of her panties.

I took my pants down, and was gon na take them off entirely, but she pulled me back down on top of her.

With my trouser down around my ankles I got into perspective as she reached in between us, grasping my cock and guiding it into her little beloved hole.

I do n't jazz how to adequately explain the mightily mix of emotions on my side of the equation, but since I fancy myself as some kind of author I shall endeavor to cause the attempt.

First of all I had n't been made to expect for sex by either lot or the girl herself since I was in high school, and even back then I had n't waited this long.

I honestly have to say that what intrigued me from the start was that she would n't or could n't consummate, and so I wanted to push the boundary of that, or rather see how far that extended, if that makes good sense.

Do n't get it distorted though, I 'm not saying that every woman wanted to do it me or anything insanely conceited like that.

I ca n't even lay claim a statistically significant percentage, but the fair sex that did want to fuck me did n't muck about is what I 'm saying.

They 'd dive straight the shtup in.

Besides, realistically, what was I doing with my life that was so pressing ?

I just felt that if she really wanted me then I 'd carry on to make myself available for whatever she did or did n't want to do.

After all she was commodity companionship in every single way, up to and including snuggle sidekick.

So all the built up sexual tension, along with the fair heart and esteem I could n't help having for her just from getting to get laid her for this short meter was the base for this cocktail.

I also felt immensely proud of her for so actively taking part.

Not that she 'd ever been completely passive in our sessions or anything like that.

At metre she could even be pretty aggressive, but since the whole point of this exercise was to learn how to relax, and trust another person with her body again there were times when she would just lay back and let me gently explore her.

When she was done she 'd let me bonk and we 'd cuddle or just lie together.

We almost never spoke to convey this information, but rather used the touches and sounds that are the spoken language of erotic love, and all modestness aside, at this point in my life I was fluent in said linguistic communication.

Bottom rail line, the fact that she was not just passively accepting me, but was actively inviting me, both verbally and physically, into her most intimate space was clearly the culmination of a mental process that started long before she met me.

I was grateful to be there with her, and be a share of her healing process because all we have in this spirit is each early, and we so often carelessly cause each other annoyance that getting the opportunity to consciously do the opposite is a golden opportunity.

I never even imagined that I would get the chance to use my boozing and womanizing for unspoiled so how could I not hug this ?

I was also slightly apprehensive.

This was a pretty big stride after all and despite all the good work we 'd done together I did n't want her to push too far too fast before she was ready.

I certainly did n't desire her to feel that she needed to fill my desires since just being with her was a pleasure for me.

I just had to trust her judgment.

She knew beneficial than me where she was at and what she was quick for.

Besides it was n't as if I did n't require to sustain sex with her, in fact it was quite the opposite just in case I have n't made that sparkling clear.

I do n't want to vocalise too cheesy or anything, like those romance novels my grandmother used to take, but when I entered her for the first time, once I was fully ensconced, and we were holding each other, it was n't just beautiful, it was fucking wizardly.

Our human relationship went on for a while, but at a sealed dot I was tired of being a cheap whore, which is basically what I was, no subject how nicely I try to hush up it.

thing is that during that time I had some hot cleaning woman give me their routine but I just never called them.

One of them even did it rightfield in front of Lori, and when she walked away Lori just grinned at me with that cute, infectious exuberance.

Now that I think of it that grinning had a lot going on with it, like a multilayered cocktail of twinkling, nods and other signals communicating a lot of complex selective information simultaneously.

Maybe my experiences with her had just built up my self esteem to where I could n't subsist as a kept man anymore, or maybe it was just prison term to do something else, but that was the survive time I let a cleaning woman pay my bills.

A couple of years after I stopped seeing her we ran into each other and it was awesome.

She was glad to see me, she took me out to a glamorous pull show where she knew the director of the station, and we saw a deadened on Cher imitator.

The manager explained that their featured performer had actually gone on hitch with Cher.

Apparently she 'd come out doing her act, the crowd would be into it, and then Cher would enter from the other side of meat of the phase, blowing their minds.

Of course she plied me with deglutition, and we smoked some bud.

I miss her in my life but I know in my heart that she is out there somewhere being awesome, and I know that the the great unwashed around her have it away how lucky they are to be in her life because she chooses her associates carefully.

I honestly have n't thought about Lori in years, although now I 'm not entirely surely why.

I suppose I 'm not particularly proud of how I mostly wasted my life during this period, but as I come to write this story some questions occur to me that I had n't ever considered before.

I guess the principal one would be did Lori know who I was before we met ?

It 's a fair interrogative sentence really because as I said I was fairly well known around the hip taproom in Nashville, and having worked at a strip golf club and dated a stripper who was also late into the goth/punk/art tantrum I guess I had kind of a rep long before this.

Bartenders knew me, and they knew Lori.

As a heavy drinker and a big tipper she was beloved by many a bartender so if she saw me and asked it would n't acquire her farseeing to ascertain out about me.

It 's entirely possible that she just asked the barkeeper at Multi-Bob when I went to the lav or something that first Nox, but knowing Lori that seems unlikely.

Either we just met, she took a chance and trusted her own judgment, or she researched me pretty thoroughly.

I have seriously never even considered it until this moment but the More I think about it the more I lean towards the later.

It just makes too much sense based on everything I know about her, especially how much she loved a bargain.

I went with her once to buy a new futon frame and she was incredibly shrewd about negotiating price, and trying to get anything extra that she could.

She was like a steal shark.

After about the third thing she asked about the possibility of getting for free the sales representative said, `` No, but you 're sound. '' sounding genuinely impressed.

We did end up getting something spare too.

Now for what she needed a sex therapist, or hell even a jigalo would possess been pretty fucking expensive, but I was a comparative steal.

Not that I would take care if that is the case.

If anything I would be even more impressed, and quite frankly flattered that she chose me.

It takes a sure gift to see someone that others regard as useless, who may even see themselves as useless, and utilize their talent.

So that 's my taradiddle, and if I could have you take anything from it, that would be a new respect for the power of empathy, and a desire to praxis it .