Back in the 18th century a humble varlet visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a aureate dildo, 10 centimeters in girth and 40 centimeter in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's pageboy looked at the jewelry maker and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"Well we're correct out of stock at nowadays squire,"the jeweller admitted,"We got ivory and glass, tan even, but Au with diamonds, well bad squire, but there's no demand."

"His Highness says he will feature you killed if you will not ply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"Fair enough, how does Thursday voice ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a moulding squire, can't just pour molten gold down some misfortunate Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, wellness and safety see ?"the jeweler complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the village idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, last year I come 3rd in the village idiot competition, but I'm education hard for next year."

The jeweller knew a sentence waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a meridian good example. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's have a go at it bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a Inachis io, hang as a bottle screw. Everyone knew. All the noblewoman loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your passe-partout to come so I can make a stamp ?"the jeweler asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a salutary crank one for 20 five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The slipper we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The meth slipper."

"Why so gimcrack ?"Buttoni asked.

"second hand, was the married woman's mother, cunt like a pail, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the methamphetamine hydrochloride was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the castle. He liked his job as page but he was not too keen on citizenry thinking he was Charming's buff. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with daughter with a talent for saying the wrong thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too wind up and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad motility for the royal stag Family PR wise.

"Your loftiness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this metre ? Invade Russia, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, slay a dragon ?"

"A clump !"Buttoni cried,"detainment a ball !"

"Baseball, tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dance, a masked musket ball, take in all the eligible dame,"Buttoni suggested.

"Mother tried that,"Charming remembered,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this meter we say you met your true passion and she left a lovemaking token and you have to witness her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what kind of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her meth dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"Look !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a large nursing bottle of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the monster,"Wow, can you envisage those rape featherbed simpering cold squawk Mother tries to handle me off with with that demon inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his pant as his cock swelled at the thought of it."And struggling to get the monster inside their squiffy garden pink hairless slit !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"Glass Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can bury about having a musket ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked ball !"

"And you'll marry the girl it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"senior high school five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my genuine love at the masked ball and she lost her Glass skidder,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money father not capital accounting,"Charming lied.

"uppercase, I mean splendid !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a little ad in the Bayerisch bugleweed the local free ads news sheet and opened a small shop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a cell with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's gaberdine, though the second joint length black leather rush with gold warp sort of gave the biz away.

"how-do-you-do, I think I might be the girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the lady of pleasure from Madame L'Oiseaux's establishment stated boldly.

"Indeed, come through. I am Buttoni valet de chambre to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my dear ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you have in mind a shoe !"and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should sustain slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the amiss sheet ?"

Just then a beautiful young girl stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did wonder where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your effective protagonist ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed on common cold nights."the girl explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his foot, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the girl asked.

"He has just cum in his drawers,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't affair I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the young woman declared."Why are you wearing such a stupid person disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't visualize men, he doesn't figure women, sounds perfect !"the girl explained,"And with a nice big dildo to run with even better."

"Well then,"Butoni produced the chalk dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you recall of that ?"

"My god !"the girlfriend agreed,"It's huge !"

Her eyes were spacious with greed as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo much nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth out !"

She looked round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least lock the room access first."

And with that she sat down on the story, pulled up her voluminous skirts and petticoat and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to watch ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the daughter tried to get a fingerbreadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you absorb my titty ?"she asked as she undid the thrashing on her bodice to disclose her telling boobies.

Buttoni knack to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the girl and began to suck her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo good !"she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three fingerbreadth,"she said,"living on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four fingers slipped inside her, then the whole of her tiny hired hand as she fisted herself.

The girl gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a freehanded hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to take her fist the dildo was much too wide to go Thomas More than 3 centimeters inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."Help yourself."

The fille looked at Charming's long rap pole. A pocket-size bead of pre cum glistened on his rooster end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The girl smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your incumbrance over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lube you, stretch your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay favorite, everyone knows that !"the fille explained.

"damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, look I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His prick slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to view the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the girl complained,"Shoot your freight and let your Page have a go !"

"Be muted I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to enjoy it,"the missy complained,"Another ten second then all right ?"

Charming was not too surely he could nurse on for ten minutes. The mountains of Bavaria swept through his thinker. He was an Eagle soaring above the cap tops. He was in heaven with the angels. He was swimming in the J. B. Rhine. He was cumming. A splendiferous flood of cum fusillade from his cock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of line it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"spirit I'm gay. I lost my sexual morality to a young lady. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of looker, I'm menage free."

"What ? you wanted me to sleep with you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an orchard apple tree, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your cunt if you can't take the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no matter what view she tried it in she could not force it more than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no respectable. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The young lady quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweller oeuvre ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One ice dildo, a lot thinner, get the estimate ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still circumstances of cunts to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid person enough to come back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the room access, he let the young woman out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the township square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take number to get my place !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you find these multitude ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an 60 minutes, put the closed for lunch foretoken up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few dry pint of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the mickle and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a all over royal body guard for only a calendar month pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal brass fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop counter and a leaning of the scale of guardianship, including try twice get a third try loose !

Within the 60 minutes Buttoni sneaked back in the back way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the excitation of watching new lady trying to stuff a 400 millimeter dildo up their puss pale after a while and within the month most of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after fille ruined their moral excellence trying to fuck a ball of glass.

Sweet hairless pink cunt, big hairy pussy, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy grow over bushes, some with nicks from shaving. Shy young girls, raddled old hagfish, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.

Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money.

The business leader was delighted, the queen exasperated and so life returned to convention with Prince Charming sneaking down the bagnio every Tuesday Thursday and Sat and poking the Cook most mornings.

The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a commotion at the palace gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring entry to an irate untested woman."Let me in !"a girl screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me meaning !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the lady friend howled.

"You're the girl from the workshop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned time I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got meaning !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's spic-and-span conception, of course it is !"she snapped.

"fair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had amend meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met female parent,"he explained

He took the girl to his mother's sitting elbow room,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the tabby asked.

"No thought,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the young lady sighed,"It's Ella, my champion call me clinker because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's hard to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queen asked.

"Well lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the nestling comes out there is piddling doubt the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the queen asked.

"Its this big round,"the girl said as she described the sizing with her deal,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slovenly woman !"the pouf asked.

"She is disrespectful, headstrong, likes cleaning lady so she's unbelievable to get off with a footman, she's ideal queer material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, awless and unlikely to track footmen do you ?"the fag enquired.

"Well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."mum said I should collapse it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ shag'in the palace dear,"the poove explained,"We say ‘ Make love'much less messy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you cogitate of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the miss insisted,"I just want child support."

"Well I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the donjon and meter you and starve you until you're not pregnant any more. ``

"Oh well in that eccentric,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to give it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my dark for the house of prostitution, how about we get a take away Knackwurst and appease in and ascertain the servant fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes honey excellent melodic theme !"the queen mole rat agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The fagot looked askance at the girl,"We will get the take away and catch the handmaid fornicating you, two, maybe three at a clip ?"

"Men or girlfriend ?"she asked.

"Men, fille, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the pouf explained,"good god girl half the girl in the land want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny occupation,"the lady friend agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missioner would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the missy insisted.

"Not fucking dear, making love, it sounds so a good deal nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it last time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a girl,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a bath every Fri and sporting underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this illustrious dildo, it does sound rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

well the missy wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 guilders for the first single miss to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweler never did get paid and the diminished dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married Cinder's admirer Queen City after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one Night. The queen had a reproduction drinking glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his time talking to his plants in the garden and tampering in politics like kings do.

And therein lies the moral of this narration, if you want to pull, have a bath and wear make clean underpants