Back in the eighteenth century a humble Sir Frederick Handley Page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a golden dildo, 10 centimeters in girth and 40 centimeters in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's Sir Frederick Handley Page looked at the jeweler and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"well we're right field out of stock at present gallant,"the jewelry maker admitted,"We got ivory and drinking glass, bronze even, but gold with rhomb, well sorry squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"carnival enough, how does Th sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a mould squire, can't just teem molten gold down some wretched Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, wellness and guard see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweler and not the settlement idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, last year I come tierce in the village idiot contest, but I'm grooming hard for next year."

The jewelry maker knew a clock time undoer when he saw one and Buttoni was a peak example. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent-grass as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your passkey to come up so I can make a mould ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good methamphetamine one for XX five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on account statement of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The glass slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second hand, was the wife's mothers, pussy like a bucketful, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of any other.

================================================

Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as varlet but he was not too lament on people thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with young lady with a talent for saying the untimely thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too arouse and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad motion for the Royal kinsperson PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this fourth dimension ? Invade USSR, Dig a tunnel, construct a glider in the attic, slay a dragon ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"wait a bollock !"

"baseball, lawn tennis ballock ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dance, a cloak ball, invite all the eligible doll,"Buttoni suggested.

"Mother tried that,"Charming remember,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this time we say you met your true love and she left a love token and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"looking !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a with child bottle of schnaps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the monster,"Wow, can you think those spoilt mollycoddle simpering frozen bitches mother endeavor to palm me off with with that goliath inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his pant as his cock swelled at the sentiment of it."And struggling to get the demon inside their tight pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"Glass slider !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can bury about having a bollock, we'll say it happened at the last block out glob !"

"And you'll marry the fille it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my straight love at the masked ball and she lost her Glass slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and sire over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"Riley B King Harald suggested.

"It is scoop money father not capital explanation,"Charming lied.

"Das Kapital, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

===================================================

They put a small ad in the Bayerisch bugle the local exempt ads news sheet and opened a low shop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a stall with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a barbarian's smock, though the thigh length black leather bang with atomic number 79 warp form of gave the game away.

"Hello, I think I might be the female child he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's organisation stated boldly.

"Indeed, total through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my adjunct Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my honey ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you have in mind a shoe !"and she slapped him fill out the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should have slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong shroud ?"

Just then a beautiful young young lady stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only ma sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did wonder where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my salutary friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your expert friend ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a elbow room at school, and a bed on cold nights."the female child explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vas in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the young lady asked.

"He has just cum in his pants,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't matter I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the lady friend declared."Why are you wearing such a stupid disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't see men, he doesn't fancy women, sounds complete !"the girl explained,"And with a nice big dildo to dally with even better."

"wellspring then,"Butoni produced the meth dildo from a liberation and suggested,"What do you remember of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's huge !"

Her oculus were wide with rapacity as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo much nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth !"

She looked round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to find out are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least put away the threshold first."

And with that she sat down on the story, pulled up her voluminous dame and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to watch ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the young lady tried to get a fingerbreadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you draw my titties ?"she asked as she undid the whacking on her bodice to reveal her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent to the task,"And you, I do let two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the fille and began to suck her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo good !"she cooed as number one one then two fingerbreadth slipped inside her dampening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"bread and butter on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger's breadth slipped inside her, then the whole of her lilliputian handwriting as she fisted herself.

The girl gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a self-aggrandising hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her slit but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her slit was dilated enough to withdraw her fist the dildo was much too wide to go Sir Thomas More than 3 cm inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you accept any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help oneself ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."avail yourself."

The girl looked at Charming's long pink pole. A small drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The lady friend smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your lading over the dildo to really lube it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, adulterate your twat and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"Damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, look I'll display you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a little girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His tool slipped easily into her velvety bit. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to learn the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the girl complained,"Shoot your burden and let your Sir Frederick Handley Page have a go !"

"Be quieten I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to enjoy it,"the girl complained,"Another ten minute of arc then all right ?"

Charming was not too sure he could hold on for ten instant. The mountains of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an bird of Jove soaring above the ceiling tops. He was in nirvana with the angels. He was swimming in the J. B. Rhine. He was cumming. A magnificent torrent of cum explosion from his peter and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I birth a go ?"

"Of row it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my chastity to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of witnesses, I'm home free."

"What ? you wanted me to sleep with you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"springiness the boy an Malus pumila, got it in one.,"the missy replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the young woman asked.

"Why to expatiate your snatch if you can't take the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no matter what post she tried it in she could not push it more than 5 centimetre inside her.

It was no undecomposed. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your nightlong bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The little girl quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweller workplace ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the idea ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still scads of twat to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid person enough to amount back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the doorway, he let the young woman out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"right wing,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take tour to take my position !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you see these people ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for lunch signboard up."

Buttoni sneaked out the game doorway and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few pints of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four rack ins for the prince but a sodding royal soundbox safety device for only a calendar month pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a tokenish administration fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop counter and a lean of the graduated table of burster, including try twice get a third try free !

Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the plunk for way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the agitation of watching young ma'am trying to scarf out a 400 millimetre dildo up their cunts pale after a while and within the month almost of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after miss ruined their virtue trying to bang a oaf of glass.

Sweet hairless garden pink cunts, big hairy twat, neatly trimmed loins, untidy overgrown bushes, some with nicks from shaving. Shy young female child, raddled old hags, the tidal bore, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.

Finally the waiting line dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to matter the money.

The mogul was delighted, the queen exasperated and so liveliness returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tuesday Thursday and Saturday and poking the cook most mornings.

The fairy despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one William Ashley Sunday there was a kerfuffle at the palace gate. The pikesmen on precaution duty were barring ingress to an irate youth woman."Let me in !"a girl screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the girl howled.

"You're the young woman from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned sentence I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's spick invention, of row it is !"she snapped.

"Fair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better sports meeting mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the girl to his mother's sitting room,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the poove asked.

"No idea,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girlfriend sighed,"It's Ella, my Quaker predict me clinker because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a Lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's concentrated to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queen asked.

"well lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the youngster comes out there is footling incertitude the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the poof asked.

"Its this big turn,"the girlfriend said as she described the size with her hired man,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slut !"the queen asked.

"She is awless, headstrong, likes women so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's ideal queen material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and improbable to chase footmen do you ?"the queen enquired.

"well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."mammy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ Fuck'in the palace dear,"the queen explained,"We say ‘ Make love life'much less messy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the young lady insisted,"I just want child support."

"Well I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and starve you until you're not pregnant any More. ``

"Oh well in that case,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will get to break it some good thought."

"Actually it's my Nox for the brothel, how about we get a takings away knackwurst and persist in and watch the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes dear excellent idea !"the queen agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The queen looked askance at the girl,"We will get the train away and watch out the handmaiden fornicating you, two, maybe three at a time ?"

"Men or young lady ?"she asked.

"Men, girl, horses, Canis familiaris, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"Good god girl half the girls in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny stage business,"the daughter agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the girl insisted.

"Not fucking lamb, making love, it sounds so much nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it last time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a missy,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a bath every Fri and plum underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this famous dildo, it does voice rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

fountainhead the young woman wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 florin for the showtime unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweller never did get paid and the littler dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married clinker's Friend Charlotte after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one Night. The queen had a replica chalk dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the big businessman spends his metre talking to his plants in the garden and meddling in political science like power do.

And therein lies the moral of this tale, if you want to pull, experience a bath and bust clean underpants