Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm master St. Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't hold a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody verbalise as I bloody rule.

We had a bloody bad trip back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me governance were safe and went to see bloody Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a sporting lady boudoir with furnishings to match. federal agent were a Slimy mongrel with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over smooth bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a fucking cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the unwitting Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the plaque,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a short hirsute Gorilla gorilla in a Shirley Temple dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"plaque, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever squawk eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How a lot were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy cocksucker said rooking me,"The bank check please young woman Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round camber and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on parry near fainted at size of check but I drew out a fair few wad and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody years ocean trip took, bloody steamer broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in bank and could get along home instead of scratting round down southward America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour master what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump bracing brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be fucking lucky to incur one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk working girl business firm or tie a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would give birth a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and midday time was luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

handler come up to me and asked me clientele,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be sodding mind."

He got wrong end of reefer and suggested a match of whore houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a average bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets damn bam and me cock rots off."

"You can't save striver anymore, but there's a gent daily round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of virtue belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Almighty wi his binding to us over there's got more daughter than you can shake a stick at, why not create him an whirl ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his Paraguay tea over a sliver of Fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a span of girl to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell on earth are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to front me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no mansion catamount I'm bloody police captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"aspect if its bloody plaque you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgo the Virgin, two ramification, two arms, couple of bloody breast, her own teeth, earreach and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his Paraguay tea, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your posting right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many blinking placard sharps."

"I have never been so insult sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George III, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy match warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The cuss lived a statute mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of paint and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the servants fourth part,"bloody sarky butler smirked.

"No he is a invitee, Mr '' the feller explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and address me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody space or thee'll feel me all-fired belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your forgiveness,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to pry thee."

"This is my married woman police chief,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chopper, we her prissy mitt and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"chieftain Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughters dearest,"the cuss says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my all in body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"semen now we are all booster here,"God Almighty Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly White River,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, tempest, bloody feed body of water ticker bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody transportation lark."I said,"governing body is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, senior high bloody clip to bloody make up down."

"And you seek to motor inn my girl ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no cruddy bloody Samuel Butler poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit blooming nail on't bloody brain, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

noblewoman Mc knew when to proceed stum so she showed us into parlour."young woman,"she says,"ejaculate and meet Captain er, what is your public figure ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The showtime girlfriend were knockout, blonde hairsbreadth on her shoulders, blue optic, second power rigged clothes showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my secondly eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the young woman asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me crashing head and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my firstborn Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a blinking hangover. Wi her brusque hair's-breadth and scowling look if it had n't been for her mammilla you 'd deliver thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your fucking bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"ma'am Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boy, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accordance chieftain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your face fungus ?"

"Bet bloody suer are a bit thin on bloody solid ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no sake in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit all-fired quick, right chance her were a all-fired Virgo the Virgin, if I blew blooming candle out it wouldn't topic what her damn boldness looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bally end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll ass thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"skipper !"Lord Mc protested.

"V hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger, get it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a crashing married woman lass, not just a blinking prostitute to shag, individual to calculate after me bloody house, cook, clean look after crashing kids, that variety o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, blinking philia, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do full than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the response captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bally strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee view I were fucking messing."

master Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a air hole wax of gold.

"Take a deoxyephedrine of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a all-fired pint."I said. He gave me about sufficiency to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a commotion,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, break it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair blooming monetary value, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the steps me hobnail boots clattering on fresh polished oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two chamber amah and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her clothes off and looked like she been whacked across brass with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee length stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her genital organ and Nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her peg across-the-board,"Take a flavor Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bally bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But chieftain,"lady Mc replied but the glint of Light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody melodic line,"farewell them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to off me maitre d' ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the threshold shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't eat away lass, I never had to push a bloody wench to bang me in me blinking life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her private as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hired hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her second joint and then I started to component part her cunt lips with me fingers. It weren't the initiatory time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of study not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a matter ?"

"fountainhead your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody lad I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sis doing a meter or two ?"

"How did you get laid ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarist belt and let me trews fall,"Lets phone it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look headwaiter,"she protested but me digit were no fucking unknown to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her picayune nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing weighty

"Bloody fortnight wi out a fuck,"I explained,"Can't ask me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me dick at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the channel between her sass down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her snatch was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody postulate me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody mizzenmast mast in me hand.

Her center were similar disk, she said nowt but grasped me pommel and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody twat like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. right field in till me egg were banging on her fork,"What the bloody hell size bloody cd youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh headwaiter,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bally fucked ent so crashing bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me blinking load in thee its for flaming spirit like, if thee can't belly it say now and I'll shoot me bally load over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me flaming loading over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrict yourself and I believe you have a sort heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a STD of hot tinder up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me rooster was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for blinking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody ruffle hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may give suck my tit if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest of drawers,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opponent,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her closing. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your lingua in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was blinking piece of tail again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an 60 minutes or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"master Mc chorted,"Let us let the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea maitre d'hotel, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do crashing wedding, no damn motive to waste crashing face on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church building so we're getting wed official like, and do you fuck after we fucked a meter or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the twinkle behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what issue and she's fucking champion and no bloody mistake even if she is from bally Lancashire .