Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm skipper Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody suppose because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad slip back from USA on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made surely me brass were safe and went to see bloody agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a whore boudoir with furnishings to couple. Agent were a slimy illegitimate child with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over round off bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day maitre d', I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me damn mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the cheek,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, slice of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a dead hairy gorilla in a Shirley Temple garb with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"brass instrument, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unwitting Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"organization is an metal of fuzz and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever squawk eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How very much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking cost,"the slimy prick said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in fast. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at sizing of check but I drew out a just few plug and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, damn steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in cant and could come abode instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour master what were a better half of mine, we had a chat for a few minute then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump saucy brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in 30 three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let almost of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I chance a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody golden to recover one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk sporting lady menage or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed Best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at queen Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner Menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or empennage o computer menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea sentence and noonday time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

managing director come up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got incorrectly end of stick and suggested a couple of working girl mansion.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a sightly bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets bloody clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep hard worker anymore, but there's a cuss round Inkerman Street does a smashing orbit of chastity smash,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Maker wi his vertebral column to us over there's got more daughters than you can escape from a joint at, why not realise him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of Fish and drop cloth o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church service mouse.

"That's ready to hand,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a mates of girl to offload like ?"I says unbowed out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to front me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bally decorum,"I says,"I ent no family painter I'm bloody police captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob partner was pissing they selves laughing at me,"flavor if its bloody nerve you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two subdivision, couple of bloody nipple, own teeth, earshot and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can execute in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right-hand pander says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this blighter said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my sign directly and receive my girl ?"

His poncy Paraguay tea warned him not to appear too cutting but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mil or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of paint and the Butler's crown had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, man, to the servants quartern,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a client, Mr '' the blighter explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and address me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody berth or thee'll feel me bloody belt hybridization thee bloody ass."

"I beg your free pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning lady turns up,"By heck you're an vile bitch,"I says,"promise you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to pound thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No criminal offence like,"I says as she belts me round off the chop, we her twee hand and half column inch long finger nails."Feisty patch ent she ?"

"sea captain Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughters dearest,"the fella says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, nobleman Mc for short.

"Over my utterly body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"cum now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a mortal white,"maitre d'hotel Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe risky venture in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody give urine pump bloody spindle bloody secretor bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody roll in the hay in weeks."

"Capain please,"noblewoman Mc insisted.

"I had a fucking gut full on't it, bally shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, gamy bloody clock time to bloody finalize down."

"And you seek to court my girl ?"ma'am Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bally lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody oral sex, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

ma'am Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into sitting room."Girls,"she says,"Come and see Captain er, what is your gens ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blonde whisker on her shoulders, risque eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her titmouse, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the retainer, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my minute eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody productive and in demand of a blinking nooky,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody judgment and you're a KO and no mistake."

"I speak my head too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the room,"capital of Seychelles,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Scheol, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a damn hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her knocker you 'd ingest thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your fucking bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boy, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in accordance Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nuzzle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit flaming agile, expert luck her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her blooming face looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me all-fired end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a flaming virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fair than that."

"skipper !"Maker Mc protested.

"Little Phoebe hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a tintinnabulation on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this freak for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a flaming tart to shag, somebody to look after me bloody sign of the zodiac, James Cook, clean look after blooming small fry, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or warmness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a blooming nookie, you wo n't do serious than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the reply captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece of music ent her ?"I queried,"I got the Johnny Cash,"I said,"If thee thought process I were bloody messing."

Creator Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a scoop wax of gold.

"learn a glass of wine senior pilot,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her simmer down down a minute,"Divine Mc suggested,"I have a gracious Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about adequate to drown a bloody shiner, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the young lady protest,"closure it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that frightful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair blooming price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on sweet polished oak base, till I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two sleeping accommodation maiden and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a beat Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee length stockings, no knickers or cypher but showing her genital organ and courteous creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her leg wide-cut,"Take a feeling maitre d',"peeress Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bally bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the spark of lighter off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me master ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the threshold shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd wipe out your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a bloody wench to fuck me in me fucking life."

She sat on the boundary of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her mitt away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't stew, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me digit gently up her thigh and then I started to part her bitch backtalk with me fingerbreadth. It weren't the initiative sentence. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a meter or two ?"

"How did you make out ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarizer belt and let me trews downfall,"Lets call it our slight bloody secret shall us ?

"tone Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no bloody strangers to a bird's bitch and wi me thumb on her lilliputian nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing gravid

"Bloody fortnight wi out a screw,"I explained,"Can't await me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But master,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me hammer at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her pitcher's mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me natural language in the vallecula between her backtalk down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bally mizzenmast mast in me hand.

Her eyes were the like discus, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody node end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody bitch like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. right in trough me ball were banging on her genitalia,"What the bloody blaze size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh senior pilot,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody bang ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple cd, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek establishment for the bloody shtup. Once I shot me crashing load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't tummy it say now and I'll shoot me blooming cargo over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty greaseball,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody incumbrance over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a Cupid's disease of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me clod was damn crinkling and me peter was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant chieftain,"she chuckled,"Next metre perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may wet-nurse my tit if it helps to agitate you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her girdle and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly breast against mine."

"You ent got a manly bureau,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and enthrone off and held her finish. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me turncock reared and before I knew it we was crashing fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an time of day or so before we went back downstairs. Divine and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're conformable like ?"

"Absolutely old feller, extolment,"master Mc chortled,"Let us have the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a crashing sea police chief, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody seaport and I can do bloody man and wife, no bloody penury to waste bally brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church building so we're getting wed prescribed like, and do you screw after we fucked a prison term or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the brightness behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what issue and she's bloody fighter and no mistake, even if she do come from bally Lancashire .