`` What floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding high above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The lounge flooring, '' a char with a plummy speech pattern insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was workweek ago ! '' I explained.

'' Well it 's not well enough, either you rectify it at no monetary value or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather Sir Thomas More than a vague promise, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall expect you at seven this evening, that should give you time for shower and a cheese Warren E. Burger. ``

'' That 's rush 60 minutes ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving Jack London dearie, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't have practically choice really, so I thew my dick in the old passage at knocking off clip and headed round mums for a morsel to eat and a cascade before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car green but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old fashioned townspeople planetary house with a few footprint up to the look door and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath Harlan Stone faced to outset floor level then turn in, a red brick anatomical structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're early, '' she said censoriously as she opened the movement door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' Well improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to let me into the hallway. She looked late thirties acted like ninety, snotty bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` schoolmistress, '' a girlfriend 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a amah getup about four sizes too belittled, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her omphalos which must have been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeballs back in, they 're on still hunt ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh ignite up and smell the umber, '' she insisted, `` Really the small mindedness of the typical British people proletarian never fails to amaze me. ``

'' None of my business Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that schoolma'am. ``

'' Do n't push it. '' she said as she locked the outside room access behind me, `` But we are not here to discuss my sexual preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed tongue and groove stripped true pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong olfactory modality of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement cap. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` making water, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water supply passing water, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spill should be OK. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had considerably see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the storehouse room formerly servants student residence beneath the lounge.

The roof was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my fingerbreadth against the low roof and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing system go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the foul drain, cypher to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me evidence. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our invitee the problem. ``

'' Mistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man Mistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My intellect boggled, she had done her best but her titty still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the posterior couple of inches of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please Mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid tike, '' she insisted.

I had no mind what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No blame enquire it leaks and foetor, have n't you ever heard of can, Thomas Crapper, Armitage ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your small take care world have you no knowledge of water athletics ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, H2O skiing, but not pissing on the living room floor. ``

'' And it had no upshot on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to biography quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some quad,

'' Come Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erecting which would n't disgrace a full grown lapin. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you entail hare ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a nice rigid forearm to the transitory clumsiness of the manful member, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob smack if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a brusque rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like turncock, '' the schoolmarm said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your hard-on Danton True Young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of track I got a severely on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' Ninety seven percent of the grownup population, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a minority fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would favor the old Thomas pot urinal to the living elbow room flooring any day. ``

'' But, given the option of her mouthpiece, my back talk, in my hair, in her hair, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a view, '' I admitted.

'' The exemption to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to hold on chamber mass under the bed when my expansive dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't reply, does n't the sentiment of your urine arcing through the air to imbue my dress, my brassiere, my breasts, does that not shake you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your backtalk are silent yet your stopcock speaks loudness, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like cocks, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor girl she is so delicious yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I pudden-head, which is why I keep Pippa on a shortstop leash, from her revealing vesture to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all intents and use, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walks in the green, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop Georgia home boy. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the can, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a kick. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my jeans, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' looking, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic activity not readily mistaken for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' flavor, '' I said, `` You need coats and coats of seal, yacht varnish or something seriously raincoat, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should experience explained what you had in idea when you had the plaza done, I just subbed on the flooring. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract, strictly Harrisons are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a technicality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you nonresistant. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the trouble ? '' she said.

'' No it needs right waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coating, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its nonsensical ! ``

'' I 'll pay for textile, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for gasolene, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's rima oris, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper berth mediate class bitch, who would n't require to piss in her side ? but Pippa, well, to be reliable I just wanted to ram my straining pecker deep in her sweet pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for years have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like cock do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you fingerbreadth and my toy Mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers rooster, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft place for it but as I mentioned a rigid forearm beats a flexible shaft on every I level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole room bare, no article of furniture, it will be about a week after the last pelage before you can run a risk using it again, twelve minute before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the basement, tile the floor like a exhibitioner, tile the walls a bit too, not white but maybe slate grey or something, then you can play there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary cadence and for those frightfully wet Night, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of genial, `` Well to make a job we really need to take out the existing, marijuana cigarette in a membrane. ``

'' How lots ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball park, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two days, then you 'll need a pipe fitter to do the shower heads or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday hebdomad if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colour wise it should be gentle enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` Email me the final quotation and I am sure we have a plenty. Can I get you a glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the excrescence in my jeans.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` Goodbye Pippa, nice to see you, '' I said and she blushed deep red, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front door, `` The tradesman 's entering is down the pace to the right, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' near nighttime, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big smile on my aspect, I just turned a complaint into two days paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to hear about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a constructor not a bloody pervert !

To be continued