Back in the 18th 100 a humble Page visits a jewelry maker's shop.


"So lets get this straightaway. You say Prince Charming wants a gilded dildo, 10 centimeter in girth and 40 cm in length and encrusted with diamond ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jeweler and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"Well we're compensate out of breed at confront squire,"the jeweller admitted,"We got ivory and glass, bronze even, but atomic number 79 with infield, well sorry squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"Fair enough, how does Thursday vocalize ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to earn a moulding squire, can't just rain buckets molten gold down some pitiable Slovack ‘ s ass kettle of fish anymore, wellness and safety see ?"the jewelry maker complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the village idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, last twelvemonth I come third in the village retard contest, but I'm preparation hard for succeeding year."

The jeweller knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime model. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the Lady loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I anticipate your overlord to come so I can lay down a mildew ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a charwoman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good glass one for twenty five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The slipper we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The meth slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second hand, was the wife's mothers, bitch like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the crank was actually made as an prentice piece and twice the sizing of any other.

================================================

Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as page but he was not too keen on people thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a talent for saying the wrong thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too activated and came in his gasp. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad motility for the Royal class PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this meter ? Invade Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, dispatch a tartar ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"postponement a ball !"

"Baseball, Tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a terpsichore, a big dance, a masked ball, tempt all the eligible wenches,"Buttoni suggested.

"Mother tried that,"Charming think back,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this clock time we say you met your straight love and she left a sexual love token and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of souvenir ?"Charming asked.

"Her drinking glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"smell !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a with child bottleful of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the ogre,"Wow, can you opine those spoilt pamper simpering frigid bitches Mother attempt to handle me off with with that ogre inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to aline his pants as his cock swelled at the thought of it."And struggling to get the monster inside their tight garden pink hairless snatch !"Buttoni suggested.

"And haired ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"Glass carpet slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the proper PR we can forget about having a ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked ball !"

"And you'll marry the girl it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my true erotic love at the masked ball and she lost her shabu Slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"Martin Luther King Harald suggested.

"It is bag money begetter not capital account,"Charming lied.

"Capital, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of multitude thinking there's something wrong with you."

===================================================

They put a pocket-sized ad in the Bayerisch bugle the local spare ads news program sheet and opened a humble workshop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a kiosk with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's gaberdine, though the thigh length black leather iron heel with gold buckle variety of gave the secret plan away.

"hullo, I think I might be the daughter he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's constitution stated boldly.

"Indeed, come through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in camouflage.

"Is this yours my dear ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you meant a shoe !"and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should have slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the untimely tacking ?"

Just then a beautiful young daughter stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the carpet slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did enquire where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my unspoiled Quaker Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last wintertime at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your expert champion ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at schoolhouse, and a bed on cold nights."the miss explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his human foot, a lineage vessel in his frontal bone pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the girl asked.

"He has just cum in his pants,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't thing I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a dazed disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't take to men, he doesn't image women, sounds perfect !"the missy explained,"And with a nice big dildo to roleplay with even better."

"Well then,"Butoni produced the chalk dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you remember of that ?"

"My god !"the young lady agreed,"It's huge !"

Her eyes were wide with avarice as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo often nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and tranquil !"

She looked unit of ammunition,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at to the lowest degree lock the door first."

And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her voluminous chick and petticoat and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to watch ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the young woman tried to get a finger up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you suck my titties ?"she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to divulge her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent to the chore,"And you, I do deliver two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the daughter and began to lactate her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo near !"she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her dampening cunt.

"That's three fingerbreadth,"she said,"support on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger slipped inside her, then the whole of her tiny hand as she fisted herself.

The little girl gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a great hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her twat but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her snatch was dilated enough to accept her fist the dildo was much too wide to go more than 3 cm inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help oneself ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his knickerbockers."Help yourself."

The daughter looked at Charming's long pink pole. A little pearl of pre cum glistened on his putz end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The fille smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, adulterate your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay favorite, everyone knows that !"the missy explained.

"Damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, wait I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the daughter forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a fille,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His prick slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the girl complained,"Shoot your load and let your page have a go !"

"Be calm down I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to enjoy it,"the girl complained,"Another ten instant then all rightfield ?"

Charming was not too sure he could adjudge on for ten arcminute. The plenty of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an Eagle soaring above the roof tiptop. He was in heaven with the angels. He was swimming in the Rhine. He was cumming. A splendiferous downpour of cum burst from his stopcock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of course it wont fit you moron,"the lady friend explained,"spirit I'm gay. I lost my virtue to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in figurehead of attestant, I'm dwelling free."

"What ? you wanted me to fuck you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the missy replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your cunt if you can't take the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no subject what spot she tried it in she could not force it more than than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no full. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The fille quickly rearranged her wear and went to the room access.

"Where does that jeweller work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot dilutant, get the idea ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of cunt to adulterate ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is unintelligent enough to arrive back.

"Errr,"the female child said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the girl out and slammed the doorway quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take turns to take my topographic point !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you bump these citizenry ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for luncheon sign up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few pint of schnaps for Prussian courageousness and headed for the sentry go Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal stag trunk guard for only a months pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal governing body fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a money box on the shop retort and a list of the graduated table of billing, including try twice get a third try detached !

Within the 60 minutes Buttoni sneaked back in the support way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the inflammation of watching Cy Young lady trying to overindulge a 400 millimetre dildo up their cunts pales after a while and within the calendar month virtually of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as lady friend after girlfriend ruined their virtuousness trying to fuck a lout of glass.

Sweet hairless pink cunts, big hairy cunts, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown bush, some with snick from shaving. Shy young young woman, raddled old hagfish, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the freak even half way up.

Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money.

The Rex was delighted, the queen exasperated and so living returned to formula with Prince Charming sneaking down the bagnio every Tuesday Thursday and Saturday and poking the cook most mornings.

The fag despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Lord's Day there was a commotion at the castle logic gate. The pikesmen on precaution duty were barring ledger entry to an irate young woman."Let me in !"a lady friend screamed."That Prince Charming prick got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the logic gate."That's him !"the missy howled.

"You're the girl from the store !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned multiplication I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got significant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's immaculate design, of line it is !"she snapped.

"Fair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the young woman to his mother's sitting elbow room,"Ah female parent I am afraid I have made this little girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her figure ?"the queen asked.

"No theme,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my ally call me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a gay woman !"the fag gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's firmly to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the female monarch asked.

"wellspring lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the child comes out there is little doubt the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the queen asked.

"Its this big troll,"the girl said as she described the sizing with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slut !"the fag asked.

"She is awless, self-willed, the likes of woman so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's ideal queen material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and unlikely to chase footmen do you ?"the queen enquired.

"well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ piece of ass'in the castle dear,"the tabby explained,"We say ‘ Make love'much less messy don't you think ? So, clinker, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the girl insisted,"I just want small fry support."

"wellspring I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and cadence you and starve you until you're not pregnant any more. ``

"Oh well in that typesetter's case,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to pass on it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my night for the brothel, how about we get a takings away Knackwurst and persist in and catch the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes affectionately fantabulous melodic theme !"the pansy agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"clinker asked.

The queen looked askance at the young woman,"We will get the take away and ascertain the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a time ?"

"Men or girls ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"goodness god girl half the girls in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny business,"the girl agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the lady friend insisted.

"Not fucking lamb, making love, it sounds so very much nicer,"the nance insisted.

"You liked it lastly metre,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a missy,"she explained.

"Very exacting my Charming, a tub every Friday and clean underpants every week,"the pouf confirmed,"Anyway where is this famous dildo, it does voice rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

well the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some angel to put up 1000 guilders for the first gear unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent patronage out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch over. The jewelry maker never did get paid and the modest dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married clinker's friend Charlotte after he had a Bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one dark. The queen had a replica field glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his clock time talking to his plants in the garden and meddling in politics like kings do.

And therein lies the moral of this tarradiddle, if you want to rip, have a Bath and wear clean underpants