Anxiety To Triumph To Heartbreak : My First
Erotica, First-Time, MasturbationChapter One
My gens is Jason. I 'm a 22 year old senior at a DoS university located way up in the mountains. My freshman year I joined a fraternity because I was an exceptional toper. I was far from a distinctive frat boy, but the musical theme of having a core group of acquaintance to party with was very appealing to an 18 twelvemonth old me. My social life story was fairly strong during my first three days of college. I had a lot of friends and was well known around campus.
My senior year I was elected president of my fraternity. I ran on the chopine of governing through due date. There were a lot of detrimental things that my brotherhood got into and I wanted to curtail that. I wanted my fraternity to be more than community oriented and less degenerate oriented. Some people liked my approach, some people saw me as a control stick in the mud. I did not care. It was the visual sensation I had since I saw the debasement my freshman twelvemonth. Becoming such a polarize figure in the Hellene residential district garnered me a lot of newfound stake from some of the sorority girls. For three class sorority miss were a age group that I greatly failed to understand. They 're all around lack of shame perplexed me and I often found them to be much too forward for me.
Since I can remember interacting with female child was a painful experience. I never had a lady friend in senior high school school. I was just getting to the point where I could casually socialize with them toward the end of my high school day vocation. My difficulty with the opposite sex continued when I got to college. I thought for surely joining a fraternity would be the magic fix to my women job, but that fix never came.
Freshman class came and went and I had no genuine prospects. When I was sober I was refining my social skill with womanhood, when I was wasted, I was making a fool of myself. By sophomore yr my mixer accomplishment were well refined and I was set to finally break through. That never happened. When I would watch my Quaker seal the deal I would take mental notes. Some of the things they would say though ... never in a million age would I have the self-assurance to emulate. So I remained stagnant because I did n't have a shred of game.
By Jnr yr I had lost a fair amount of exercising weight and developed some close friendly relationship with a few girls that dated friends of mine. I think they saw through me and knew I needed aid. Through them I gained confidence that I could converse in a sexual way with women ... even if they saw it as drunken banter. But for me it was invaluable praxis. By the end of my junior year I had managed to fasten a few day of the month.
They were n't with the Best looking girls but I thought that would work to my advantage. I was hoping for a female child with lower self esteem than I had. Turns out that girls that were more shy and awkward than me did n't acquaint many opportunities for me to `` cash the v card '' as my frat boy booster would say. That 's right ... I was still a virgin by 20 yr old. By the end of junior year I had my kickoff kiss. It sucked and I found the miss to be abhorrent albeit not bad looking. beggar can be choosers I guess.
Everything changed my senior year. I came back to school only slightly overweight whereas I was very overweight my low few geezerhood of college. I got two tattoos over summer break and drastically improved my wardrobe. I just moved into our new fraternity menage about a quarter mile from campus. As president I had the start choice of elbow room so I got the biggest with a balcony. matter were looking up for me. This had to be it. I always thought `` no way I could go to college a virgin. '' Now my mindset is `` no way can I leave college a virgin. '' I was determined this was n't going to happen.
Move in day came and went. Lots of John Barleycorn, slews of drugs, flock of slutty girls walking around my home. The next break of the day I was away chipping golf balls in the battlefront yard when I saw a very forgetful, very tan missy coming down the outside stairs.
`` Hi Sydney '' I hollered. I recognized her as a genus Beta girl. She is quite attractive but it was well known that she made her way through our social rank with relative ease.
`` holy place shit, Jason, you look ... well, you look quite different. '' I could recite she was n't about to jump my bones but her stare lingered longer than I am accustomed.
`` Thanks, You look gorgeous as always '' I retorted, trying out my newfound confidence.
`` I do n't feel very gorgeous, I was so fucked up last night and I literally just rolled off of Paul 's pecker. '' I cringed. How could this incredibly cute and unacquainted looking girl be so shameless ? I could n't mean of anything to say to that so I put my head down and went back to chipping balls.
Sydney broke the silence `` I do n't have anywhere I need to be, I just kinda figured Paul did n't need me to loiter. Wan na hang out ? ``
`` Sure '' I said, not entirely for certain what that entailed. `` We can string up in the rec room or walk downtown and get breakfast. ``
`` Fuck that '' she said. `` I 'm pulsate, let 's go hang out in your room. '' At this stop I had a serious case of butterfly stroke. I 've had daughter in my elbow room mass of times but they were almost always accompanied by their boyfriends. Leading the way, we walked back up the stair and down the residence to my room. I immediately put on medicine and packed a bowl in an attempt to spread out my social ineptitude. Sydney, at this percentage point, has her shoes off and was sitting on my bed.
'' Hey Jason, it 's too early to listen to medicine. Let 's look out a movie. I just wan na relax. '' I took a yearn pull off the bowl and passed it to her. As she took her own sizable drag I cued up one of the American Pie movies.
I took a seat in a chair opposite the bed, careful to throw Sydney her blank. She gave me a far-out look then motioned to the bed. She pulled her sweatshirt off and threw unfold the blankets. Sep mornings in the mountains can bring forth an unseasonable iciness, so I was n't storm when I noticed the rock hard excrescence from her dilute tee shirt. Either she did n't mark my gaze or could care less. At this point I was in uncharted territory. I never had a little girl in my bed let alone a girl that had a preclusion to sleep with any guy that gave her the attention she so desperately desired.
I awkwardly climbed into the bed staying on top of the blankets on the very bound of the queen mole rat bed. Sydney was under the cover enjoying the movie as well as the agio kush. I could n't concentrate on the movie. I wanted to be active closer and get under the mantle but I was so petrified of the potentiality results. So I did what I always do, I played the double-dyed gentleman and when the moving picture was over I handed Sydney her sweatshirt and escorted her out. She gave me a hug and thanked me for a nice morning and was on her way.
For the next respective time of day I analyzed the encounter over and over and over. I was upset at myself for not making a motion, but at the same time I was convincing myself that this was a strictly Platonic encounter. Nevertheless I could n't help but feel relieved. If by chance I did stumble my way into Sydney 's pants I know my confidential would be exposed. Noone knows I 'm a Virgo. I have always lied to my acquaintance. Either they believed me and just assume I do n't get laid a lot, or they just go along with it ... I do n't have the answer to that. Had I had sex with Sydney she surely would have been able to secernate I was a virgin and share that fact with her friends. By the end of the day all of the Greek community would induce been privy to my secret. Anyway, better matter were on the horizon.
About 4:00 I heard garish music coming from the private road. I headed out to investigate the source of the tumult. When I got outside I saw two of my roommates snick and Ryan throwing the football the length of the driveway. I decided a little recreation would be a good tension rest so I joined them. After about half an hour nick 's phone started ringing. He answered and held a brief conversation. After he tucked away his cadre headphone he took the clod and fired a optical maser right hand at me.
`` Let 's end on a good musical note, Claude Elwood Shannon and Allie are on their way over. They want to give ear out ''
`` Ok '' I said. Having lived in a fraternity house for two old age now I was used to multiple solidification of little girl spending clip at our home daily. Claude Elwood Shannon and Allie are Sigma girls that I 'm not very conversant with. I know they are a family below me but that 's about it. I went inside to freshen up a bit and grab a 12 camp of beer. By the time I got back outside Ryan had taken off for the dark and Nick was greeting the two young woman. I knew Claude Shannon, she was tacky and a tad obnoxious ... typical sorority miss. She sported a Nice tan, with tenacious black fuzz. She was absolutely beautiful but truth be told, she was a bitch. I quickly turned my attention to her booster. I recognized her. I vaguely remember her from go year 's saltation formal. She went with a friend of mine. She was n't a 10, she was n't a gage show, she was n't a bombshell, but she was the most beautiful girl I 've ever laid my eyes on. She flashed me a hypnotic smile.
`` Hey, I 'm Allie. '' I was speechless. After that perfective tense smile all but melted me I gathered myself to acquire in her appearance in slap-up detail. She is n't the sorority type by any means. She wore tight gym short and a baggy t-shirt. She is about 5'6. Not skinny but far from overweight. She had recollective shiny brown fuzz that went half way down her rachis. While she wore no makeup her boldness was flawless with a near perfect complexion. Her peel was a beautiful shade of emollient. Not pale but far from tan. The gym shorts she was wearing strained by an ass that was nothing short of perfection. It was firm and round of golf and did n't show a suggestion of sag. This missy was blessed. The jersey offered no meter reading of what may be beneath it until a strong twist blew her shirt, right-hand across her breast. She had diminished breasts, probably an A cup. But they stood at aid like the rest of her perfectly portioned body.
I extended my hand to shake hers.
`` Hi, I 'm Jason. '' I did n't stutter, I did n't stammer. Even I could tell that my tone exuded confidence. Allie grasped my hand. I made sure my bag was firm but not too firm. I wanted to give the impression that I 'm strong but know when to channel my enduringness. I could narrate it worked as Allie 's creamy complexion flushed cryptical red.
Allie 's center fell to my Obama-Biden 2012 shirt and I could see her middle short up.
`` I have to intromit it 's nice to converge a reform-minded guy on this campus. '' She nervously stammered awaiting my reaction. I knew this was my in and I could n't neutralize this chance. `` He 's a closet liberal '' Nick interjected as he slapped my ass on the way by. He and Claude E. Shannon announced that they were heading up to his room for `` a hour. '' Allie and I looked at each other smiling knowing they would be more than a minute.
`` Enjoy ... Jason and I will be out here discussing the socialist takeover of America '' Allie chirped. I almost spewed out my beer at this overt exercise of irony. in good order then and there I knew this miss was my similitude. We made our may over to the walkover table where I took a seat. She did not sit across from me but rather directly next to me. She was so close our legs were almost touching.
`` How bout a beer ? '' I said hoping to not be the only one drinking.
`` How bout two '' Allie replied much to my delight. I fished into the cardboard box and grabbed her two beers. Without hesitating Allie cracked open a can and chugged it in two gulps.
`` Holy mother fucker '' I said, thoroughly impressed.
`` I 'm just showing off, I do n't actually drink like that '' Allie replied, cracking another beer. I chugged my beer and cracked another beer. At this point I was very curious to see where this conversation would lease us. This girl is unbelievably cool and unbelievably hot. By now my selection instincts are kicking in and they are begging the query ... what 's the catch ?
We both nursed our second base beers, not wanting to impede conversation. Conversation with Allie was easy. It was n't forced. It had a fluidity and a purpose that so many of my conversations with the opponent sex lacked.
She first wanted to know my political impression and I was felicitous to share them with her. It turns out that we were n't quite as aligned as I thought. Me being a hold in populist and her being a very liberal progressive. This led to several arcminute of spirited debate and a small playful banter. political science aside, the interrogative turned to a more personal nature. Turns out we are from towns only about 45 minutes apart. We talked about high schoolhouse experiences, our friends, our mutual passion of athletics and brute. We talked about our families, our living goals and finally we moved to our biggest commonality ; Greek life.
Allie, I learned, was a junior that lived in an off campus apartment by herself with her cat. She transferred last year from a individual school that she hated.
`` To be dependable, I joined a sorority because I did n't consume many champion at my last school and I thought this was my best shot at the formula college experience. '' All the while I 'm thinking to myself `` how the pit could this girl not make friends. '' As if she was reading my mind she continued `` I do n't exactly have a lot of confidence in myself. I do n't think I 'm very likable. I do n't like the girly young woman stuff and I do n't conceive I 'm very pretty. '' She finished abruptly as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders revealing this to me. She took another gulp of beer and looked to me for my response to her disclosure. It was my tour to flush red.
`` I think you are upright looking '' is all I could muster. Telling a slut like Sydney she was hot was easy but telling Allie she was pretty was so hard for me. My fear of rejection was showing itself. Allie did n't say anything, instead she took one Sir Thomas More generous swig of beer and laid her head on my shoulder. No words were needed. She was so close now that our ramification were touching. My bare leg was resting against her smooth finespun peel. This was the faithful contact I have ever had with a girl and my biological social function were not letting me forget it. I could feel my erecting growing in my gym shorts. This presented a very awkward possibility. Fortunately Nick and Shannon came barreling down the stairs and jolted Allie 's head straight up.
`` What 's up passion wench '' Nick hollered as Claude Elwood Shannon smacked his arm.
`` Grow up nick '' Allie snapped as she quickly rose from the picnic mesa. She glanced at her phone presumably to check the time. As Shannon and Nick walked to the car, Allie bent down to where I 'm sitting and rested her hired man on mine. `` It was a pleasure to get to know you Jason, I 'll see you around. '' And with that she was off. I watched her walk the dead distance to the car in gross disbelief. Those were the most stimulating hours I 've ever spent with a cleaning lady.
Resigned to the fact that she was gone, I gathered my beers and headed for my room. With the slender bombilation going on I stripped down to my shorts and got in bed. I pulled out my laptop computer and went to my best-loved porn site. Thinking about Allie I slipped my hands in my drawers and started playing with myself. I was determined to make this a marathon tug session. I scoured the pornography star pages until I settled on one that closest resembled the novel object of my affection. Riley Reid. She had the same long brown hair's-breadth, the Saami fat ass, the like midget pap and very standardised facial nerve features. She did n't present as aphrodisiacal as Riley but I thought she was arrant. I watched a video of Riley masturbating with just her fingerbreadth. I did n't want to suppose about Allie having sex, I just wanted to fantasize about the sinlessness of her consistency. Thinking about her the full time I was stroking my hammer, I came very quickly. wellspring after I finished masturbating, I found myself dwelling on the few hour we spent together. It wasn't lust or intimate. I wanted to know her in every way. I desperately wanted to see her again. Turns out I would n't have got to wait long .