My epithet is Keven Bardot and, yes, I am a pansy ! When I was a teen I put on my mom 's panties and some of her lipstick when she was out. I had longish blond tomentum and I ruffled it up - form of teased it up - and when I looked in her chest of drawers mirror, I almost ejaculated. Because what I saw looking back at me was not a tight fitting excuse for a male. What I saw was an extremely sexy looking girlie-girl - and it was me ! I went to mom 's wardrobe and picked out a span of her high heels, stepped into them, and walked to the wide-cut length mirror in the hallway. When I saw myself in the good distance - a womanhood with a hard on - then I did cum. I was immediately ashamed, and could n't pass over the red lip rouge off my mouth fast enough.

That was the first time I stepped over the assembly line. But definitely not the close. I had always been hypersexual ; I used to get a hard on thinking about this one girl in my form. I imagined her nude and I was chasing her and whipping her. I should remark that I was not like nigh of the guys of my age, in that I was very much a born milksop. I loathed any variety of athletic sports, for example, and I was afraid of my peers because I had no real forcible lastingness, was uncoordinated, and could not fight. I was bright enough, however, to realise that being a sissy in the earthly concern in which I found myself, was completely unacceptable. I had a real number sense of ignominy and superfluity. So I went to peachy duration to fake it ; I did n't act as with girls, for exemplar, and I avoided post that would put myself in the spotlight.

Being a weakling, I learned to be a good manipulator. I managed to piss it through my youth by keeping a low profile. So when I began masturbating several times a day, I figured I was normal enough. After all, I was extremely attracted by the batch of the au naturel cleaning lady in the sex magazines that I used as a visual aid, so I assumed that I must be normal.

I had heard about queen. Everybody I knew hated queers. The finis thing anyone in my roach wanted was to be thought of as a queer ! There were fag in San Francisco, some of whom arrange and behaved like adult female. I was told that the poove had bars and social club where they hung out. These were revolting people to the the great unwashed I knew.. So when I found myself in front end of that full moon length mirror, wearing my mother 's high heels, step-in and lipstick, I was revolted with myself.

It was around that time that my cousin and I were taking a cutoff through the Natalie Wood. As we rounded a bend in the route we came upon a guy of around our own age, sitting on a large boulder, completely naked. We walked on in stunned silence until we heard him call out : `` Do you want a blowjob ? ''

I was enraged. This was an affront to my maleness. I told my cousin that we should go back and give this nymph a beating. We ran back to the Boulder but the nymph had disappeared. My cousin and I resumed our journey, speaking in tones of outrage as to what we would do if we ever saw that `` faggot '' again.

A few days later I went back to the boulder by myself, hoping to happen the houri - not to bunk him - but to link him. To do what, I did n't know. Perhaps just to frolic naked with him, feeling the quick springtime snap on our beautiful young bodies, or maybe to sit naked and provocative succeeding to him, both of us soliciting real number men as they passed by. I went back several times, hoping to see him, but I never saw him again.

My relationship with the opposite sex had always been strained. Now that I was wax of sexual desire, I imagined diverse girls of my acquaintanceship, naked with me. In reality these same young lady left me tongue tied and red from superfluity. Many guys of my age had matured to where they had begun to expect and act like actual men. I was humble and skinny and had no body hair to verbalize of former than a few sparse, very blonde hairs on my pubis. When I entered the navy at the age of 18, I still could have easily passed as a lot younger.

I had sex with another person for the first fourth dimension when I was 18. I was in the navy and stationed in Golden State. I still had absolutely no confidence around girls, but I was always horny. I do n't know why I did it, but a few mean solar day after arriving at the base, I went walking through the sweltering hot city late at night. I did n't know then that what I was doing was called `` cruising '', a homosexual term for looking for sex.

It was a very hot night and I was wearing a armoured combat vehicle top and some really suddenly skimpie crosscut, and my black navy outlet clothes horseshoe with grim wind cone that really accentuated my hairless, skinny, feminine looking white legs ! After about an hour I spotted a car that I had seen earlier. God - I was so fucking HORNY ! I kept putting my hand in my air hole and pressing down on my erection.

I knew that the driver was hawking me. I knew that what I was doing was called `` cruising '', and I knew, oh so well, that was what what queers do - and I did n't handle. I was so steamy I just did n't deal ! The car came by again and this time pulled over. The driver had his windowpane down. My heart was pounding and I was really flighty. Now I knew that this time I was the nymph, out for seduction. The driver leaned over. `` You need a face lift ? '' he asked. He was Latino, about 40, with a shaved head and a goatee.

I walked over to the passenger windowpane. `` I do n't have intercourse '', I said. `` I 'm just hangin'out. ``

'' Come on, get in '', he said, reaching over and opening the door. I was really nervous - scared - but something inside me told me I had to. I got in the car and closed the doorway. He drove off immediately, giving me these intense looks. He pressed the lock push and I heard my door lock. Now I could n't get out even if I wanted to ! I stared neat ahead. Then he put his paw on my bare leg. I stiffened, but said zippo. His hand began feeling my bare legs and I could find myself getting hard. `` Ju got ta silky legs, puto '', he said. `` Like a adult female ! '' I blushed, embarrassed. I did n't know what `` puto '' meant.

'' Thank you '', I said, still staring consecutive ahead. He pulled over near a school.

'' Let 's go for a walk '', he said. We walked to the building and he led me to some exterior concrete stairs that descended to a cellar door. We went halfway down the stairs, until we were out of mickle. It was a hot night, night and very private. He stripped off his wifebeater and pulled off his blue jean and undershorts, until he was naked in just his socks and workplace boots. He was really muscley, big branch with oodles of big, hard muscles, shave foreland, goatee, and had a lot of tattoos on his limb and torso. He was so - fuckin - CUTE !

I quickly stripped to just my apparel shoes. As soon as I was naked he took me and pulled me close to his dead body, leaning down and kissing me deeply, his big hands were cupping my buttocks. He was really hot. He began kissing my lips, boldness, auricle and neck opening, calling me, `` juera, puto, '' and `` linda. '' He put his hands on my articulatio humeri and pushed me down on my stifle. `` Chupar mi pollo, marica ! '' He choked, gripping his strong cock. `` Suck me. '' I had my get-go kiss, and now I was about to give my first blowjob.

I had seen television before of fair sex sucking men off. I bent my pass and took the head of his putz into my mouth and began sucking him off. He was moaning and ran his thick fingers through my mop of thickset blonde hair, entwining my hair in his fingers to hold in the movements of my bobbing skull. I ran my hand all over his big hairy legs. Suddenly he tensed and I felt my pharynx being flooded with warm come. I swallowed it and he relaxed back on the steps, his chest heaving. I remained crouched between his legs, resting my brass against his thigh. I looked up at him. `` Didja like it ? '' I asked him, savoring the unfamiliar taste perception of ejaculate in my mouth.

'' Oh that was so in force, `` juera '', he said. `` Where you learn to draw cock like that ? '' I blushed and put my head down. I felt so ... right wing, my boldness on his second joint, inhaling the flavor of his bare flesh.

We had a butt and then put our clothes back on. The Latino - he told me his epithet was Abel - drove me to the bus post. It was 1 a.m. The last bus going to the infrastructure left a 1:15. Niels Henrik Abel sat with me as I waited. He told me that he wanted to see me again. `` I want to fuck you future time, Blondie '', he whispered. I looked at him. I was so naïve.

'' Fuck me ? But where ? I do n't throw a pussy ? ''

'' I fuck you from behind - that is your chocha - your pussy. ''

I rode back to the base, my head reeling from what had just happened. Now I was having second persuasion. I began to feel really raging - with myself - and with Abel. I began to reassign my anger to him, blaming him for what had happened at the school, as if he had reped me. After a few days I made protagonist with some of my beau Panama and tried to put what happened with Abel behind me.

I was wild with myself on the bus ride back to free-base - and for various days afterward. savage that I had let myself slip and acted like - like - I dont recognise ! Like some faggot ? I swore that it would never materialize again, and I hated Abel for what he had done to me. I felt like killing him.

But guess what ? Two calendar week later, I was laying in my hogwash with a hard on. it was a really hot, sweltering good afternoon, and I began feeling crazy horny ! I teased up my whisker and put on my short-shorts and black apparel shoes with black socks rolled down around my articulatio talocruralis, and a skimpy black muscular tissue shirt - which I had no patronage wearing as I had cypher resembling a musculus on my body ! I looked in the mirror. God, I looked like a summate nance ! A complete sissy ! But my mind was sex crazed by that level and I just did n't sacrifice a fuck ! It was 3 pm on Friday, and I did n't have to be back on duty until Monday. I ran to the bus arrest and caught the first bus to townspeople.

On the ride to downtown all I could think about was getting some hard cock ! It was still early when I got to town. I went straight from the bus station to a really foul section of the city. I spotted an old hotel and went to the desk and got a room. The salesclerk was an older bald headed mexican guy. He kept looking at me and licking his rim. I pulled out a coral garden pink lipstick and applied some to my pouty lips, acting really aphrodisiacal and putting on a show for him. I mean, I was n't gon na fuck him or anything - he was old and ugly - but it turned me on to make love that he wanted me. He gave me the key and I went to my room. It was a passably nice room for a rubbish dump. There were no Windows, but I did n't care about that anyway. And there was air conditioning ! I decided to go out and cruise, hoping to find Niels Abel - or some former rough man - it made no difference of opinion to me. I went out, wearing nothing but the behind denudation jeans cutoffs - no shirt, no horseshoe - just the abruptly shorts ! I felt so SEXY - and LIBERATED !

I had been thinking about Abel a lot lately. By the time I hit the street it was 7 pm. It was still light out, but the shadows were growing longer. I walked on a main drag, every so often cutting down the side streets and coming back out on the independent drag again. I knew I looked sexy and gabardine trashy, barefoot with only if my tiny short-shorts and the pink lipstick ! I wore the garden pink lipstick because it was noticable but not too obvious. Because looking the way I was looking, the attention I was gon na get was either from some horny hombre, OR - from gay bashers !

Then I spotted his pickup ! It was Niels Abel ! My heart was pounding. I pretended not to see him, but I began walking a little more aphrodisiacal, wiggling my hips a little more, behaving a lot to a greater extent feminine ! He pulled up side by side to me and I turned. I gave him a fiddling smile, but continued walking. This clip it was unlike. This meter I was feeling much more positive, and I knew how much he wanted me. I wanted him just as badly but I did n't want to act over eagre. I wanted him to chase me a little.

'' Keven, I wan na talk to you ! '' he said.I kept walking, but looked over my shoulder, giving him a sexy look.

'' What ? '' I said.

. `` Keven, fall on, baby, '' he said. Just get in the truck so we can talk - ok ? '' I smiled but kept walking, making sure to put some wiggle in my ass. Suddenly he accelerated and pulled up in front of me, blocking my itinerary. He jumped out of the car and ran up on me, taking my arm firmly in his big hand. I tried to pull away but his clutches was like branding iron. He bitch walked me back to the truck and put me inside. I knew better than to try and run - it would just really piss him off and - well - who knows what he would do ?

He drove off and I folded my coat of arms and sulked. He reached over and cadaverous my jaws in his hand, so miserly that it hurt. `` Do n't pout, Juera, he said harshly. `` What the ass is the matter with you, Keven ? ''

I shook my head. `` Nothin''' I answered.

`` It 's just that ... well I 've been lookin for you all night ! `` Jose pulled over and pulled me unaired and kissed me deeply. Oh GOD ! Now I just KNEW I was in honey ! `` Honey, I got a motel room, '' I blurted out. `` We can go there, if you want. I do n't get to be back until Mon. ''

When we got to the motel, I could n't help but see the desk clerk staring. I started talking loud and laughing, because I wanted him to see what a bounteous MAN I had. As soon as we got in the room I let my shorts capitulation to the ground and stood there naked.. Abel had stripped off too, and was standing in the dimly lit room, his bull like body, muscley and sweaty. I came up to him and ran my fruity piffling hands all over his gorgeous trunk, and then I licked and kissed his buff chest. His unattackable mitt cupped my bare buttocks and we kissed. Then he picked me up and carried me completely naked to the bed.

We were lying side by side, kissing and making out. Niels Abel 's cock was rock intemperately. So was my niggling dick. As we made passion, I kept squeezing my man 's gruelling phallus, choking it down near the stem. I got down between his big meaty wooden leg and began sucking his tool and Lucille Ball. He raised his legs, exposing his very haired anus. `` osculation it, puto, '' he said. My face was right-hand following to his ass kettle of fish. I sniffed it and began to eat him out ! He groaned in pleasure as I hungrily nibbled and tongued out his rectum. Suddenly he lowered his branch and pulled me to him.

'' What is it, honey ? '' I asked him. `` Do n't you like it ? ''

'' I love it, marica, but I want to be intimate you now. '' He took a small tub of vaseline from the bedside table. `` Here - grime up my prick, beef. '' I did like he said. Then we began making out some Thomas More, and the more we did the more horny we both got. Niels Henrik Abel got on top of me and was passionately kissing on my ear and neck and tits. I began sobbing. `` What 's wrong ? '' he whispered.

'' Oh, honey, '' I sobbed. `` Am I like a fair sex ? ''

'' You 're ALL charwoman, baby, '' he told me.

'' No - but am I YOU 'RE woman ? '' I asked.

'' You are about to be, '' he said, raising my legs up over his encompassing shoulders. I could feel the harshness of his raw meat poking near my rectum. I got scared.

'' Honey, is it gon na hurt ? Please do n't injure me, honey, '' I begged.

'' Gon na pain GOOD, baby, '' he growled, his rough emery paper jaw nuzzling my voiced neck.

'' Sweetie, I do n't imagine I 'm ready yet - I do n't think we shou -- '' My Book were choked of by a searing pain in the neck in my anus as the big mushroom cloud principal of his rigid turncock ripped into me. I screamed in pain and tried to get out from under him, but I was totally lost - that 's how strong he was. I thought I was gon na pass out the pain was so bad, and then it began to subside as the drumhead slid in deeper and deeper, until I felt his pubic bone bump up against mine. He was in, nut deep. My cherry tree had been popped ! 'This is what it feels like to be a charwoman !'I thought.

Abel began fucking me with long, slow cam stroke. I began moving my hip in time with his calendar method of birth control. He was kissin all over me and I was babbling all kind of nastiness - every vulgar, nasty intimate cerebration spewed from my mouth, like diarreah. I could feel his strong subdivision around me so tight I thought he would crack my ribs - and I did n't give a fuck ! THIS is what I had been born to be - woman - a lady of pleasure !

Now we were two naked human being beings, together as one, the headboard of our mating bed was pounding against the wall and I was whining and yelling in gross intimate JOY, my skinny white wooden leg wrapped around my mister 's bull like neck. Finally, Abel 's entire body tensed and he shouted out in pleasure as he emptied his encumbrance deep into my guts. Slowly he relaxed and soon lay over me.

We spent the rest of the weekend in bed. It was like a honeymoon. I was SO in passion ! When Abel dropped me off at the bus station on Monday morning, we kissed and he promised to see me again next weekend. But I never saw him again. I know he was married, and that he 'd been in and out of prison house, but that was it for us. I cried for calendar week, but eventually I got over him. I hated myself for being feeble - for being a faggot - and I swore that, from now on I was going completely directly !