`` What flooring ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding high above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The sofa storey, '' a woman with a plummy dialect insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not well enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' Well it 's not proficient enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the name and address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a wispy hope, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall expect you at seven this evening, that should give you time for shower and a high mallow Warren Earl Burger. ``

'' That 's rush hr ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving Greater London favorite, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't have much choice really, so I thew my cock in the old transit at knocking off time and headed stave mum for a bite to eat and a shower bath before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her home around ten to seven, an old fashioned town theater with a few steps up to the front threshold and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath stone faced to first floor level then render, a red brick structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're betimes, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front end door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' Well improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to allow me into the hallway. She looked late 30 acted like XC, bigheaded bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a girl 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But schoolma'am, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a amah getup about four sizing too pocket-sized, her titty swelled over the top and it barely reached below her umbilicus which must have been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the threshold, and put your eyeball back in, they 're on shuck ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh rouse up and smell the coffee, '' she insisted, `` Really the diminished mindedness of the distinctive Brits worker never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't push it. '' she said as she locked the outside door behind me, `` But we are not here to discuss my sexual preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the base was as I left it, sealed tongue and groove clean pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The storey, '' she said, `` passing water, you were instructed to seal off it. ``

'' Not against water leaks, '' I explained, `` But the episodic spillage should be fine. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of germicide ? ``

'' You had better see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the memory way formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The roof was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my digit against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the filthy drainage, naught to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me attest. ``

She went back to the waiting area, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our guest the problem. ``

'' Mistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man schoolmistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My judgement boggled, she had done her best but her tits still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the fundament couple of column inch of her puss were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you unintelligent child, '' she insisted.

I had no idea what was about to bechance when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No curse wonder it outflow and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Seth Thomas commode, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your little minded cosmos have you no noesis of water sports ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, urine skiing, but not pissing on the living room flooring. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to lifetime quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some space,

'' Come Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erecting which would n't disgrace a full acquire rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you mean Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a skillful rigid forearm to the transitory stiffness of the male person phallus, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the story is a bit of a gob tang if I 'm dependable. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a short rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like stopcock, '' the kept woman said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your erection offspring man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my fellow traveler. ``

'' Of course I got a intemperate on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' ninety seven percent of the adult universe, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a nonage voodoo Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would favour the old Thomas commode urinal to the living room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her backtalk, my oral cavity, in my hair, in her whisker, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a thought, '' I admitted.

'' The freedom to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to keep sleeping accommodation sens under the bed when my distinguished dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't answer, does n't the thought of your piss arcing through the air to soak my dress, my brassiere, my boob, does that not excite you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your lips are silent yet your putz speaks volumes, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like shaft, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor girl she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a short three, from her revealing clothing to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all intent and intention, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walks in the park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop scoop shovel. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the john, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a kick. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my bridge player down my jeans, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' Look, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather laissez-faire bodily process not readily slip for any early. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' smell, '' I said, `` You need coats and coats of varnish, yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in mind when you had the place done, I just subbed on the level. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract, strictly Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a triviality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you unresistant. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not heal the problem ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How practically ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its farcical ! ``

'' I 'll pay for fabric, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for gasolene, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's lip, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, speed middle course of study bitch, who would n't want to make in her face ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining cock deep in her sweetened pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for eld have you sweetie ? ``

'' No mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like cock do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you finger and my toys Mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a cushy spot for it but as I mentioned a inflexible forearm beats a flexible cock on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the unharmed room bare, no furniture, it will be about a calendar week after the last coat before you can risk using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the cellar, tile the floor like a shower, tile the walls a bit too, not snowy but maybe slate grayness or something, then you can bring there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary measurement and for those awful wet nighttime, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to take a job we really require to assume out the existing, stick in a membrane. ``

'' How much ? '' she demanded. I gave her a testis park, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two days, then you 'll involve a plumber to do the shower principal or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday hebdomad if I can get the roofing tile, if you 're not fussed colour wise it should be soft enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` Email me the final quotation and I am certainly we have a deal. Can I get you a glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed twat while she looked longingly at the prominence in my jeans.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' Good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` Goodbye Pippa, skillful to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hall and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the straw man room access, `` The Tradesman 's entree is down the whole step to the right hand, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' unspoilt night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big smile on my facial expression, I just turned a ailment into two days paid work.

Now that 's a outcome,

Oh you wanted to hear about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a bloody degenerate !

To be continued