Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas the doubting Apostle bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sod what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody get.

We had a bloody bad trip-up back from U.S.A. on steamer and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me organization were safe and went to see bloody federal agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishings to match. agentive role were a slimy mother fucker with slicked down hairsbreadth and poncy causa. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood crashing desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day senior pilot, I am delighted to meet you at live on,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me memorial tablet,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me all-fired mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you intend Brass,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a brusque haired Gorilla gorilla in a black frock with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"brass section, Money,"I said,"Bloody bare enough even for you bloody unknowledgeable Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"cheek is an alloy of copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever gripe eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a damn fact..

"How often were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request price,"the slimy motherfucker said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped snipe camber and paid it in quickly. Daft dickhead on counter near fainted at sizing of cheque but I drew out a bonnie few quid and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass section in camber and could come home instead of scratting round down Confederate States of America United States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven master what were a mate of mine, we had a Old World chat for a few instant then I asked"Where's slave grocery, I fancies a nice plump tonic dark-brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a dainty plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody prosperous to observe one in Salford at all, thee'll have to get married a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk sporting lady house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed good idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poove Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner computer menu exterior. and it were just after twelve noon so I thought I would have a insect bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make fountainhead or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea meter and noon time was dejeuner. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager get up to me and asked me business,"looking at for a nob to conjoin,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be arrant mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a duad of prostitute family.

"Nay I want a adult female for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets bloody clap and me cock guff off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing mountain chain of celibacy bash,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that noble wi his rear to us over there's got more girl than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his married person over a sliver of fish and drop curtain o wine-coloured that woudn't sustain a bloody Christian church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to offload like ?"I says unbent out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face up me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house Felis concolor I'm bloody captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me blooming mind."

His poncy nob spouse was pissing they selves laughing at me,"expression if its bloody brass section you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgo the Virgin, two wooden leg, two subdivision, couple of bloody pap, own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George II,"one of his teammate, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well get married off your Emily if you play your identity card right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody poster sharps."

"I have never been so diss sir,"he says, but his better half grabbed his arm.

"George VI, think, he'll pay,"this feller said,"Instead of a demanding a dowery he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my menage directly and meet my girl ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too exquisite but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His post needed a lick of paint and the Samuel Butler's crown had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servant quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a Guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and mouth me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody blank space or thee'll find me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly cunt,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my married woman Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No criminal offence like,"I says as she belts me labialise the chops, we her dainty hired hand and one-half column inch long finger nails."Feisty musical composition ent she ?"

"captain Beckinthwaite compliments to motor hotel one of our girl dearest,"the gent says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, noble Mc for short.

"Over my absolutely body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deadly white,"maitre d' Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe dangerous undertaking in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"storm, storm, bloody give water pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody nookie in weeks."

"Capain please,"gentlewoman Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"brass instrument is in bloody excavation that's what I reckon, highschool bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody pantryman poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit damn nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned overlord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into sitting room."Girls,"she says,"Come and gather Captain er, what is your epithet ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The offset lady friend were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulder, wild blue yonder eyes, square rigged attire showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servant, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my sec eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody full-bodied and in pauperism of a bloody fuck,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody judgment and you're a KO and no mistake."

"I speak my creative thinker too sir and you sir are entirely hideous,"she explained.

Another imaginativeness of loveliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody holdover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her teat you 'd have thought she were a bloody cuss

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody wager were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"dame Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a bloody bloke or a blinking bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in accord police captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suer are a bit slender on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matter,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, good luck her were a bally Virgo, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody look looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blinking end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll roll in the hay thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Divine Mc protested.

"5 hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really take the money,"gentlewoman Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this teras for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a crashing wife lass, not just a bloody bawd to shag, mortal to look after me bloody house, cook, make clean look after bloody kids, that variety o thing."I ventured.

"No pretending of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, all-fired affection, I just wants a damn piece of tail, you wo n't do in force than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"trade good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the resolution master is no, never."She stormed away in a bally strop.

"Feisty composition ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's optic bulged as I showed a pouch full of gold.

"Take a glass of wine-coloured Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her tranquillize down a bit,"nobleman Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about plenty to overwhelm a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a din,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, arrest it mother I would rather die than marry that awesome man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody price, what's untimely wi her."

I stood up and went where the daughter went, following the strait up the stairs me hobnail the boot clattering on fresh polished oak floors, cashbox I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two sleeping room maiden and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her frock off and looked like she been whacked across facial expression with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee length stockings, no bloomers or zip but showing her private parts and nice creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her stage wide,"Take a face Captain,"lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody yobbo, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But captain,"Lady Mc replied but the flicker of light source off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody tune,"leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me sea captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd shoot down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't scratch lass, I never had to force a fucking chick to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the sharpness of the bed and covered her private parts as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her paw away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't worn spot, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to part her puss lips with me finger. It weren't the first time. Her twat was well used.

"Looks like you been all-fired shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a matter ?"

"wellspring your bloody virginal membrane ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a blinking bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me damn baby doing a prison term or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews declivity,"Lets predict it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"look Captain,"she protested but me finger were no bloody strangers to a wench's cunt and wi me hitchhike on her little nub her pap were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But police chief,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no beneficial ramming me pecker at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her nipple and on down to her mound. She kind of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the groove between her brim down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her slit was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a crashing mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were the likes of disc, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody pussy like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were bally heaven. Right in till me testis were banging on her genitalia,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody get laid ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple cd, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody nooky. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me damn onus over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"50 guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me blooming load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a variety heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to fool away a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your unfit Captain."

Me nut was bloody crinkling and me putz was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too recently for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next clock time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"sucking me damn peter laborious I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my pap if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her titty right out of her girdle and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly dresser,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite word,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her finis. Our backtalk met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody shag again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us give the booking announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bally marriage, no bloody indigence to waste fucking brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lightness behind her. But at end of crashing day its what they fucks like what issue and she's blinking champion and no misapprehension, even if she do come from all-fired Lancashire .