Sometimes low gear appointment go well and sometimes first dates go poorly.

There really isn't a black or blank way to classify a engagement that ends with you stranded in the Cretaceous Period [ 1 ] with a laptop computer, a solar cellular telephone, four condoms, a bottle of lube, 40 human foot of mellow quality bondage roach, a pair of mamilla clamps, and a half XII cliff bars.

I also had the company of Opal G. Wetzel, my date for the night.

You see, Opal was a physicist. We met on OkCupid, the best station for shut-in nerds to meet other shut-in nerds who are looking for romance. I'm sure there are early use-cases, but they're beyond my experience.

We had a very pleasant date at a burnt umber shop, the measure date of people who are scared of rejection and don't want pressure throwing off their"game ”. Or of hoi polloi who realize that their best probability at romanticism comes if they can talk for a few hours. I can't really do the creature magnetism thing [ 2 ].

I thought I had done a rather estimable job on the particular date and was proved correct when Opal invited me back to her place for the night. She told me there was something there I just had to see at her place.

I thought that this was just a convenient way of inviting me back for a spot of bumping ugli. Little did I know that she had a time machine.

flavor, it's not like anyone is going to read this. I'm 65 million years before humans begin to take form societies, let alone interpret how to use laptops. The worst case scenario is some poor fucker finding the fossilise remains of this laptop, believing the carbon dating, and losing their job. The hard driving force isn't going to hold out. This record book is for me, not anyone else. I don't have to try and win over myself that I'm sane.

Maybe I took bad acid [ 3 ]. But barring that, I'm actually stuck here.

So, fourth dimension simple machine.

She grabbed my hand as we climbed the porch of her planetary house.

"I can't wait to see your expression when you see it !"

She had a pleasant lilting voice, expressive and take in. It did much to quench any concern I had about that statement. I mean think about it. commencement dates where that were said often ended in gory newspaper articles.

She led me into a anteroom pleasantly painted in pastel gloss, with a lovely antique checkerboard floor [ 4 ]. She paused to render me a quick peck on the lips, before half-dragging me down the staircase to her basement.

She flipped on a light switch and revealed the laboratory of a mad scientist ; or perhaps a mad electrician. She didn't, for example, have a board with straps and a set of flensing knives.

Instead, tesla coils perched on their poles with a menacing quiescence. wire joined and parted, connecting a get array of gimmick. A control condition jury was set up in the corner. There was an cathode-ray oscilloscope on top of it and the eery trace of the electron ray of light across its sieve belied the quiet state of the equipment. The ghost said it was n't completely shut down ; it was drawing a current.

I walked over to the oscilloscope, dodging the clutter and the grasping cable television. I glanced at the readout. Then did a double-take. Then a triple-take.

"Is your oscilloscope broken ?"

Opal walked over to bear beside me.

"No, it's working fine. What makes you think it's broken ?"

"It's reading 20,000 volts !"

"kilovolt,"she corrected me idly.

"TWENTY one thousand thousand VOLTS ARE release THROUGH THESE wire ?"My vocalisation doubled in volume and skipped up various octaves.

She giggled. Her giggle was a study in mischievous trust. I felt like I was being drawn into a put-on that only she understood.

"You're cute when you shriek."

"Ah, thanks…"

I didn't know what to say, but I backed up as far as possible from the tesla curlicue and loose wires.

I finally noticed what was in the centre of the room. It looked like a alloy doorframe without any threshold in it.

I pointed at it."What's that ?"

"That's the gateway."

"The gateway ?"

"Maybe you can come in up with a serious name for it. This,"her arm swept an arc, taking in the equipment scattered around the base,"picks the time. The flow tears a rift in the time stream. Then we step though."

I took several more footfall backwards.

"You're saying that you've made a time machine."

"Not quite a time motorcar. More like a time portal. As long as it's running, we can travel back and Forth between here and any period in history."

"Would you be offended if I thought you were playing a put-on on me ?"

"I'd be offended if you believed me right off the bat. Your profile said you were an empiricist."

"I am."

"So advise a test."

"65 million geezerhood ago. Cretaceous period period."

"Oh ! Good examination !"

"I know enough about what animate being to expect that I think I could confirm it pretty quickly."

"goodness reasoning too."

Opal flitted around the lab, flicking switching, checking gauges, and making connections. The air became charged. Her bob began to uprise, as the atmospheric static made it hazardous. I felt the electricity dancing along my skin.

The tesla coils powered up, ionizing the air. purple lightning began to dance between them and the gate. There were no stray arcs, to my immense relief.

I could smack ozone on the tip of my clapper. The doorcase became opaque, then black. It slowly lightened, to the people of color you see when your eyes are closed.

Opal had to hollo to be heard over the crackleware of the lightning, even though she'd moved to suffer succeeding to me.

"It will only be a bit now."

The tesla coils synchronized, pounding the gate with stave after round of lightning. The door began to glow.

"Can it address that ?"

"Tungsten."She explained. I nodded in understanding.

With the sound of cracking methamphetamine, the logic gate resolved itself to demo a clearing in a timberland of dense ferns and trees unlike any that still existed.

"I'll be damned…"

Opal grabbed my script again and led me towards the door.

It took all my will power ( and curiosity for what lay beyond the gate ) to step between the Tesla coils with her.

She preceded me through the logic gate. She passed though it without incident and dragged me along with her.

The smell was overpowering. Sickly sweet and unlike anything I'd ever smelt before. It was primaeval air, with olfactory property molecules that predated my nuzzle by eons.

After a few breath of the air, I also realized that I felt more awake ; more active. Even in the sweltering heat, I found a spring in my step.

"The atomic number 8 capacity really is higher !"

Opal laughed, a pleasant tinkling sound.

I found myself hugging her and then our lips were meeting. The charge that passed between us was no to a lesser extent intense than that coursing through the Tesla scroll. The kiss lasted for several minutes and our handwriting explored each early more than was strictly decorous.

I glanced behind us, just to check, and sure enough there was a window suspended in the eye of the clearing. Looking back through it, I could see her lab.

I found myself laughing freely in this place that had never heard a human laugh nor felt a human tread.

"You actually did it !"

My grin proved infective and within mo we were kissing again. This time, it went on rather longer. Our clothes ended up even more ruffled.

Opal looked at me shyly through her lashes.

"How about I grab a collapsible shelter and some provision ? Then we can spend the Night here."

Had I been thinking, I would experience pointed out the risk. But I was exhilarated by the new breakthrough. Plus, I was doing my thinking with the untimely head. It is an unfortunate person quirk of my biota that I only have enough rake provision for one head at a time. And right now I wasn't thinking with one on top of my shoulders.

XV min later saw us back through the portal. We were even more dishevelled. If we'd been less distractible, we'd have made it back in five minutes, not XV.

Her cupboard of supply had been most distract though. And we'd had too a lot fun going through it for ideas. And then pausing to snog for a piece.

Like I said. Blood supplying for only one head.

The clearing was even more wizard the second time around. The sun was just kissing the horizon, its orange glow hinting at the coming dusk.

"How does the time differential work ?"

"The lab is a desexualize point in metre. We can spend as much time as we want here and emerge back into the present but a mo after we left it."

"You mean we can get up to quite a lot here and no clock time ever passes out there ?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

"That's incredibly useful for first dates."

Opal grinned."I though it might be. Although I was saving it for a particular date that I actually enjoyed."

I couldn't avail grinning back. And then I was falling into her optic and kissing her again. This clock time we found ourselves sitting down by the time we remembered to come up for air.

"Do you desire to set up the collapsible shelter ?"

She smiled at me."You 're the life scientist. Do you intend it's safe to get up to, um, thing without a tent ?"

"Hmmm. Most things here probably don't know how to attack mammal our sizing. And our resistant system of rules are 65 million old age ahead in the evolutionary arms race."

"Then let's do it in the clearing. I've always wanted to have sex in the open. But I was always worried about hoi polloi seeing. I don't think we have to worry about that right now."

"Not practically risk of that, no."

We kissed again, and by some magic her shirt managed to evaporate in the middle of it. I found my pants unbuckled.

He bra was sonant, lacy and white, but it didn't stay on very much longer. I struggled for a few seconds with the clutches, but necessary made my paw clever and I soon had her knocker bared to the humid air.

As I worked on her bra, she got my pant past my hip. I shimmied out of them and guided her to the ground.

"My pant next."

It took us some effort, but we soon had her out of them. My shirt was the side by side casualty of our fumbling hands. I relished the feel of air that no other human had ever breathed on my naked dresser.

I fell down on top of her, kissing her with abandon. I felt my erection stirring as I ground my coxa against hers. She ground hers back in revenge. I could feel her moans, but my oral fissure stifled them.

I took a breakout from kissing her oral fissure to kiss down her chest, where her erect nipples and magnanimous areolae waited invitingly. Her hired man found my dick and began to stroke it gently. I whimpered when she stopped, but it was only a temporary recess for her to grab some spittle to make the detrition smoother.

I focused on what I was doing, sucking her nipples into my mouth and covering them with assuage piquance. She squirmed and groaned deeply in reaction. I gently stroked the other white meat and then switched sides, giving both of her tit the same attentions.

"Are you going to need off my underwear, or are you going to make me do it ?"

I sat up enough to sketch a bow, before slowly bringing my helping hand down her stomach and to her pelvic arch. I stroked between her branch, pushing her underclothing into her. I felt her wetness soaking into the flimsy framework of her briefs.

She reached a hand threateningly towards her waistcloth, so I hurried myself up. One smooth out motion and she was naked for all of the world ( i.e. me ) to see.

"Hurry up and get inside of me !"

Not one to say no to this, I hurried up and got inside of her - well, there was a slight wait for the condom, but after that affair moved quickly.

Both of us let out a foresighted sigh as I buried myself up to the hilt in her welcoming sheath [ 5 ]. Her script dug into my shoulder blades.

"You feel so estimable inside of me !"

My answer was an eloquent incoherent moan. I felt I'd managed good information compactness in that one, drawn-out syllable.

That was when the dinosaur roared.

It took me a indorse to realise. I was a little lost in the wizard, having just began to thrust into Opal.

It took a second thunder for me to realize what was happening.

Opal's eyes had become big. Like really big. It 's the variety of aspect you see on a soul who realizes they left the oven on as they see their firm on fervency on TV.

"Umm ?"

"SHHHH !"

I didn't motion. I froze completely, clutching her desperately.

I heard a clangour, saw her centre widen even further. Then there were lumbering footsteps moving away from us and finally, after another minute, silence.

"How did we lose it coming towards us ?"

"SHHHH !"

Opal looked like she was about to cry.

"What's ill-timed ?"

"It destroyed the gate. We're trapped here."

"Um. This is where you tell me it's Apr first and you're actually Ashton Kutcher ?"

She laughed. It sounded a bit hysterical. I joined in. My jape was horribly reduce and definitely More than a bit hysterical.



What would you do if you found yourself stranded in the cretaceous era ?

In our case what we did was pitch the tent, huddle inside it clutching each other for a few hours, and then range off to sleep with the noises of a unknown time providing the menacing sound track.



It took us a workweek to finger up to having sex again. By which I mean, we spent a week scrambling to survive, and then as soon as something went right, we celebrated with sex.

By which I actually mean, Opal managed to catch a lowly Bagaceratops ( unless I missed my guess ) in a pit snare and one thing led to another.

Her catching it was a big deal ! It would signify center for us for quite a patch. We were pretty certainly we 'd be able to eat the meat ( and hopeful it would taste like volaille ). We 'd had mixed luck with berries and some of our ahead of time attack had led to explosive bust of diarrhoea.

The Bagaceratops was about thirty centimetre high at the shoulder and half a cadence long. It was bright super C in semblance, with feather that reminded me strongly of a parrot. It had the classic herbivorous dinosaur headland - it looked like a triceratops without a gimcrack or French horn. Completing the resemblance to a parrot was the beak, which to my eyes made the connection between it and later birds incredibly obvious.

Anyway, after jumping up and down and hugging each other, Opal 's sass found mine. We had n't kissed since the first nighttime, but I was surprised to retrieve my desire for her was still there and secure. Like a fountainhead banked fire, it was merely waiting to bounce back up into the flaming of Passion.

Her hands roamed over my body, farther enflaming my desire. I could feel myself becoming hard and after a moment, her questing hands could feel my rigour as well. Taking this as all the permission I needed, I retaliated by grinding my palm into her groin where her legs met. She ground hard into it and moaned deeply.

'' clothes. Off. Now. '' She sounded desperate. There was a legal brief separate scurry, interrupted a few times for quick kiss, before we found ourselves naked again. I dropped to the ground in straw man of her and she pulled her my forefront into her. I eagerly lapped up the gentle coating of fluid that gathered on her folds like the break of day dew on tulips.

She moaned and pushed me even harder against her. I could n't see anything, so I went by feeling, searching with my tongue until I found the nub of her clit. Then her moan became rather loud and her grip even tighter.

I felt her legs begin to buckle, but I somehow managed to observe my oral fissure on mark as she collapsed to the soil.

I lapped at her a bit more, until she pushed my head away. I looked up at her worried, but she was smiling. `` You 're going to make me arrive too quickly like that. I want you inside of me when I come. ``

'' I, ah, I did n't fetch a safety. ``

'' I have an IUD. ``

'' Oh. ``

'' Hurry up and get interior of me ! ``

I 'm a horrible flirt, so I did nothing of the sort. Instead, I slowly made my way up her body, trailing kisses the unanimous way and stopping to sop up on each of her tit. I looked up and saw her about to growl something at me, so I stopped her rima oris with a kiss.

I was n't quite set up to chip in her what she wanted, but I was desperate for some stimulation myself, so I thrust between her lips, gliding across her vulva and rubbing against her clitoris. Despite her bucking hip, I managed to keep myself from slipping inside of her. She moaned into me the first few times. After the fourth, she dug her hands into my back.

Before I could realize what had happened, she flipped me, so that she was on top. With a wicked grin, she ground against me a few Sir Thomas More times, before finally pushing me inside of her.

We sighed again, just like the first gear sentence, but we did n't rest on our laurel wreath. She began rocking back and Forth and I started rising to fulfill her. Both of us were moaning loudly, yelling meaninglessness syllables. I had my eyes squeezed tightly shut, focusing on the feelings, not on what I could see.

Opal 's moan became suddenly even louder. `` Oh fuck me ! Fuck me ! That feels so good ! ''

The eldritch part was that her exclamations were combined with something licking my eyeball.

Confused, I opened my optic. Then I screamed. Not a expert screaming, a terrified scream.

'' DO N'T STOP ! '' Opal 's yell was even louder than mine and her heart were wild with joy.

Looking right at me, its tongue now curling over one of Opal 's ears, was a creature out of my grim nightmares. Its pass was covered in spikes and it had a viciously pinch neb studded with teeth. It looked like a dragon - and had been named for one too. Dracorex Hogwartsia [ 6 ].

But Opal was thrusting onto me and it did feel effective and the dinosaur did n't appear to be hurting her, so I listened to her and I did n't stop. I was n't thinking square, I was so ruttish and getting fairly close and I needed to keep thrusting.

The dinosaur 's tongue wrapped around her throat and she moaned even more loudly, before yelling `` I 'm going to hail ! I 'm going to come with a dinosaur up my ass ! ``

I blanched. The dinosaur was up her ass ? What the hell !

I suppose it beats being eaten though. Lots of things beat being eaten. Like being inside of mortal as they come and their vag clasp down on your gumshoe, bringing you so close to coming.

'' I'm… almost… there… '' I panted in between heaving breaths. But I was looking right into the dinosaur 's eyes and I was too mazed and weirded out to draw that final leap.

'' This will help ! ``

Opal twisted me over again, so that I was on top. I do n't know how she managed it, but my dick did n't even pop out.

'' What are you… EEP ''

Something pushed hard against my bunghole, and then was inside of me, ignoring the resistance. It hurt for a split second, but then it found my prostate gland.

My prostate 's been hit only once before and the tone is plain. It shakes my whole pelvis, overwhelming me with uncontainable pleasure. The dinosaur was doing this every second, as it thrust quickly in and out of my ass.

I timed my thrusts with it, pushing back into it and then forward into Opal. I was phrenetic and wild eyed, and suddenly I was coming. wave of pleasure were crashing around me and overwhelming me, dragging me out into the undertow of post-orgasmic seventh heaven ( and incoherent yelling about the fact that I was coming ).

I collapsed on top of Opal, but the dinosaur kept on going, eliciting weak groan from me. It felt good, but it was almost too a good deal. Each jab was pleasance beyond what I could train. And it was getting quicker. I could feel in the dinosaur echoes of my own desperation.

Sure enough, after one last particularly thick thrust, I felt something filling up my bowels. The dinosaur must bear been pumping me wide-cut of its cum. I fought back revulsion ( which was well-situated to do in my current blissed out res publica ) and focused on the ace. Opal was laughing in joy and stroking the dinosaur 's cheek. Given that she was n't screaming or waving around a stump, it seemed like the dinosaur was down to tolerate this sort of treatment.

After one or two live on desultory thrust, the dinosaur pulled out of me. Even with the lubrication of its jizz, my ass was reluctant to give up its cargo deck on the reptile peter.

Opal sighed in disappointment as the dinosaur lumbered away. I sighed in something a bit more complicated [ 7 ].

'' Did we… just get fucked in the ass by a dinosaur ? ``

She kissed my nose and giggled.

'' Maybe being trapped back here wo n't be so bad after all. ``


FOOTNOTES :
[ 1 ] I know ; the title is misleading.
[ 2 ] I mean I can, but I need a warm electromagnet and a small animal. You see, water is diamagnet, and by magnetised theory… okey, okay, I 'll skitter the speech and get to the fucking.
[ 3 ] Yes, I 'm cognizant bad dose ca n't do that.
[ 4 ] Opal wants me to save down that it is n't lovely, it 's a beef to clean and she now hates opprobrious and E. B. White tile with a burning passion.
[ 5 ] Remember tyke, there 's nothing sexy than sword metaphors !
[ 6 ] Dragon King of Hogwarts
[ 7 ] The suspiration was precisely 37 % disappointment, 33 % alleviation, 12 % conflicted feelings about my sex, 10 % pure blissfulness, and 8 % longing ,