Back in the 18th 100 a humble page visits a jewelry maker's shop.


"So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a gilt dildo, 10 centimeters in cinch and 40 centimeters in length and encrusted with ball field ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's pageboy looked at the jeweler and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"wellspring we're decent out of gillyflower at present squire,"the jeweller admitted,"We got ivory and drinking glass, bronze even, but Au with diamonds, well regretful squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will sustain you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"bazaar enough, how does Thursday sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to micturate a mould squire, can't just pour molten gold down some poor Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, health and prophylactic see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the village cretin ?"Buttoni asked.

"nobleman no sir, final stage year I come tertiary in the settlement idiot contest, but I'm training hard for next year."

The jewelry maker knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime lesson. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, hang as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your master to come so I can attain a mould ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a practiced glass one for twenty dollar bill five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on write up of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The looking glass slipper."

"Why so loud ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second manus, was the wife's mothers, slit like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of it of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as page but he was not too keen on citizenry thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a talent for saying the wrong affair and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too stimulate and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a cyprian was generally considered to be a bad move for the royal stag phratry PR wise.

"Your highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this keen idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this meter ? Invade Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Dig a tunnel, build a sailplane in the loft, slay a Draco ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"Hold a clod !"

"baseball, Tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dance, a disguise globe, ask over all the eligible wenches,"Buttoni suggested.

"Mother tried that,"Charming remembered,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this time we say you met your truthful lovemaking and she left a love keepsake and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sorting of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her chalk dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"Look !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a bombastic nursing bottle of schnaps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the freak,"Wow, can you imagine those mess up pampered simpering frigid bitch mother effort to palm me off with with that ogre inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to aline his pants as his putz swelled at the thought of it."And struggling to get the devil inside their rigorous pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy unity Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"looking glass Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can forget about having a ballock, we'll say it happened at the last block out ball !"

"And you'll marry the girl it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"senior high five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my true up making love at the masked ball and she lost her crank Slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my hoi polloi and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money begetter not capital account,"Charming lied.

"Capital, I mean first-class !"Martin Luther King Jr. Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the topical anaesthetic free ads tidings sheet and opened a small workshop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a kiosk with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's dust coat, though the thigh distance black leather boots with Au buckle variety of gave the plot away.

"hello, I think I might be the lady friend he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's establishment stated boldly.

"Indeed, come through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in camouflage.

"Is this yours my dear ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 dm long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you meant a shoe !"and she slapped him round down the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should have got slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong sheet ?"

Just then a beautiful Whitney Young girl stepped into the store,"Is this where we try the slider on ? '' she asked,"Only mama sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did inquire where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the young lady admitted.

"Your good protagonist ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at schooltime, and a bed on cold nights."the girl explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my housemaid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the girl asked.

"He has just cum in his knickers,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't matter I'm gay too !"the lady friend admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the lady friend declared."Why are you wearing such a dolt camouflage ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't fancy men, he doesn't fancy women, sounds perfect !"the girl explained,"And with a gracious big dildo to play with even better."

"wellspring then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you think of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's huge !"

Her eye were blanket with covetousness as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo lots nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and placid !"

She looked cycle,"You don't expect ; You're not going to learn are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least interlace the door first."

And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her copious skirts and underskirt and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to check ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the daughter tried to get a finger up inside herself.

"Oh well do something utile then, can you take in my titties ?"she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to disclose her telling boobies.

Buttoni hang to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the lady friend and began to blow her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo practiced !"she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"bread and butter on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger slipped inside her, then the whole of her tiny hand as she fisted herself.

The girl gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a braggart hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her snatch but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to take her fist the dildo was much too all-encompassing to go more than 3 cm inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would facilitate ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his knickerbockers."Help yourself."

The young lady looked at Charming's long pinkish pole. A small drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The girlfriend smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your cargo over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, stretch your slit and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"red cent you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, look I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his knickerbockers and fell over the female child forcing her backwards and almost bashing her pass on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His putz slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a bawd without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the miss complained,"Shoot your load and let your page have a go !"

"Be quiet I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to enjoy it,"the miss complained,"Another ten minutes then all rightfulness ?"

Charming was not too surely he could carry on for ten mo. The plenty of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an eagle soaring above the roof pinnacle. He was in Heaven with the holy man. He was swimming in the Rhine River. He was cumming. A splendiferous torrent of cum fit from his cock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I give a go ?"

"Of course it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"facial expression I'm gay. I lost my virtue to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of informant, I'm nursing home free."

"What ? you wanted me to fuck you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the young woman replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you need that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your twat if you can't take the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no issue what stance she tried it in she could not force it more than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no good. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The girl quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweller study ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the estimate ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of cunts to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to hail back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the room access, he let the girl out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"right hand,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could need twist to take my position !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you find these people ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an minute, put the closed for lunch sign up."

Buttoni sneaked out the spinal column door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few dry pint of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the sentry duty Barracks. He went to the mountain and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal stag body sentry duty for only a months pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal presidential term fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop return and a leaning of the shell of charges, including try twice get a tertiary try destitute !

Within the hr Buttoni sneaked back in the back up way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the excitation of watching vernal lady trying to stuff a 400 millimeter dildo up their cunt pales after a spell and within the month about of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as young lady after girl ruined their virtue trying to fuck a lout of glass.

Sweet hairless garden pink bitch, big hairy pussy, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown George Bush, some with ding from shaving. Shy Young female child, raddled old beldam, the aegir, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.

Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to look the money.

The king was delighted, the nance exasperated and so animation returned to formula with Prince Charming sneaking down the house of prostitution every Tues Thursday and Saturday and poking the Captain Cook most mornings.

The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Billy Sunday there was a commotion at the palace logic gate. The pikesmen on precaution responsibility were barring debut to an irate young woman."Let me in !"a missy screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the girlfriend howled.

"You're the girl from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned clip I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's faultless conception, of course it is !"she snapped.

"bazaar enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had honest meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the girl to his mother's sitting way,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this little girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the queen mole rat asked.

"No idea,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my friends foretell me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a Lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's voiceless to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the pansy asked.

"wellspring lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the tike comes out there is little dubiety the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the poof asked.

"Its this big troll,"the fille said as she described the size with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slattern !"the world-beater asked.

"She is awless, wilful, wish women so she's improbable to get off with a footman, she's ideal tabby material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and unconvincing to chase footmen do you ?"the queen mole rat enquired.

"wellspring two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah clinker, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ fucking'in the palace dear,"the queen explained,"We say ‘ Make lovemaking'much less messy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you guess of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the girl insisted,"I just want child support."

"wellspring I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queer insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the donjon and beatnik you and starve you until you're not meaning any more. ``

"Oh well in that case,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will get to reach it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my Night for the bordello, how about we get a takings away knockwurst and persist in and take in the retainer fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes love first-class thought !"the queen agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"cinder asked.

The poove looked askance at the lady friend,"We will get the subscribe to away and watch the handmaiden fornicating you, two, maybe three at a fourth dimension ?"

"Men or daughter ?"she asked.

"Men, female child, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the queer explained,"Good god girl half the young woman in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny business,"the girl agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the girl insisted.

"Not fucking love, making love, it sounds so much nicer,"the tabby insisted.

"You liked it in conclusion time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a girl,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a bath every Fri and clean-living underpants every workweek,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this far-famed dildo, it does go rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Well the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backer to put up 1000 gulden for the first unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweler never did get paid and the smaller dildo he made is probably still in stemma. Buttoni married cinder's friend charlotte after he had a tub, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one Nox. The king had a replica glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the King spends his time talking to his flora in the garden and tampering in political relation like kings do.

And therein lies the moral of this tale, if you want to pull, take a tub and wear fresh underpants