For as hanker as I can commend, I have always wanted to be a advantageously version of myself. A hero to somebody, but every fourth dimension I see danger or difficulty, I end up ... freeze. I guess the grinder life is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I diary ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing stuff and nonsense at you like this, I 'm lamentable. My figure is Leon, Leon Jimmy Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a high freshman. I love games, comic, dancing, chocolate and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into cartoon champion at all ... but I just love it. The level, the Super family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So lovely ! Not many the great unwashed like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this launching tonight is not for me to verbalize about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't call back when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and severalise me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even imagine I felt anything actually ... I got numb and just ... kept on aliveness. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents love me so much and that I do n't recognise anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything disconfirming towards them ... anyway, I go to school, I have a best protagonist and fortune of supporter that take care of me because they say I 'm lovely. I guess that 's cool actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One affair about me that I find ... well, Weird is ... well ... I do n't even lie with why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't feel confortable in relationships.

I love how my friends like me and concern about me, I love my parents, but the simple cerebration of having mortal actually have intercourse me to the power point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... unquiet. I 've had two girlfriends before, sooo let 's talk of the town about that.

My firstly girlfriend 's name was Eva. She was angelic, she was beautiful ... had these brownish-yellow eyes and black hair ... She would always stay put around me, said she 's protect me and my smile, and I said I 'd do the Saame for her ... turns out ... early people feeling the same as you can stimulate sight of trouble. The fact that my protagonist all like me just as a lot made her feel ... unsung ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My second girlfriend was called Lola, and she was awesome. Tough young woman, foresighted Negroid whisker and blue air eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really tough ... stuffy to a real life heroine I could satisfy. One day, we were coming out of the movies when we were jumped by this guy with a knife cook to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of paper, dunno if it was shock or fear but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm grateful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a couple. Similar taste sensation, music and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reasonableness right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 mean solar day ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face slaps and I 'm prepare to talk about the next person ... the one I let loose all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small. We always had fun together ... he is so cultured and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't occupy, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the same classes, we like the same stuff and he 's really brave ... bravest guy I 've ever known. He is my one on-key torpedo, and I ca n't avail but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a musical rhythm. I get nervous, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to finger this way and have no mind what to do with this feeling ...

Ian is my best friend, always was. I feel ... Weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always felicitous with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this time he got here, my parents were out and we played games all day, danced around like a caboodle of kids, American ginseng together and even had pizza for dinner. It was one of the glad mean solar day of my animation. So chill, so effective ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the Same to him. He was the reason I even changed my way !

I used to have a messy fatal haircloth, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your hair ? blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his finger on my hair on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe lower it on the sides a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never look as cool as Ian though. His fuzz is spiky brown, his eyes are the most beautiful sunglasses of green ... unlike shades. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... read it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolest matter ever !

Which brings me to the ... reason I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a heartbeat ... more like ... I want to be so much tight to him, not seeing him suffering ... and my friends seem to notice that I 'm anxious when he is not around. They poke fun, good natured of track, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the only when one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the same way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going crazy ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll bid him over tomorrow ... try to talk about it ... I 'll be home alone, great opportunity. What could go incorrectly ?