My name is Keven Bardot and, yes, I am a pansy ! When I was a teen I put on my mom 's pantie and some of her lip rouge when she was out. I had longish blonde hair and I ruffled it up - kind of teased it up - and when I looked in her dresser mirror, I almost ejaculated. Because what I saw looking back at me was not a underweight excuse for a male person. What I saw was an extremely sexy looking girlie-girl - and it was me ! I went to mom 's loo and picked out a twosome of her high heel, stepped into them, and walked to the wide-cut length mirror in the hallway. When I saw myself in the full length - a char with a voiceless on - then I did cum. I was immediately ashamed, and could n't pass over the red lipstick off my oral cavity fast enough.

That was the first meter I stepped over the argument. But definitely not the lastly. I had always been hypersexual ; I used to get a concentrated on thinking about this one girl in my class. I imagined her naked and I was chasing her and whipping her. I should note that I was not like well-nigh of the guys of my age, in that I was very much a born sissy. I loathed any sort of acrobatic sportsman, for model, and I was afraid of my match because I had no real forcible military capability, was uncoordinated, and could not fight. I was bright enough, however, to interpret that being a sissy in the creation in which I found myself, was completely unacceptable. I had a real horse sense of shame and superfluity. So I went to neat length to fudge it ; I did n't play with girls, for exemplar, and I avoided situations that would put myself in the spotlight.

Being a doormat, I learned to be a honest manipulator. I managed to make it through my early days by keeping a low profile. So when I began masturbating respective times a day, I figured I was normal enough. After all, I was extremely attracted by the sight of the au naturel women in the sex magazine that I used as a visual aid, so I assumed that I must be normal.

I had heard about queers. Everybody I knew detested pansy. The hold out matter anyone in my circle wanted was to be thought of as a queer ! There were queers in San Francisco, some of whom dressed and behaved like woman. I was told that the fairy had bars and society where they hung out. These were revolting multitude to the people I knew.. So when I found myself in movement of that fully length mirror, wearing my mother 's in high spirits hound, panties and lipstick, I was revolted with myself.

It was around that sentence that my cousin and I were taking a shortcut through the woods. As we rounded a bend in the itinerary we came upon a guy of around our own age, sitting on a large boulder, completely naked. We walked on in stunned silence until we heard him call out : `` Do you want a cock sucking ? ''

I was enraged. This was an affront to my maleness. I told my cousin that we should go back and return this nymph a drubbing. We ran back to the boulder but the nymph had disappeared. My cousin and I resumed our journey, speaking in tones of scandalisation as to what we would do if we ever saw that `` faggot '' again.

A few Clarence Day later I went back to the boulder by myself, hoping to witness the nymph - not to flummox him - but to conjoin him. To do what, I did n't know. Perhaps just to caper naked with him, feeling the warm springtime pushover on our beautiful young eubstance, or maybe to sit au naturel and provocative next to him, both of us soliciting real men as they passed by. I went back respective clock time, hoping to see him, but I never saw him again.

My family relationship with the opposite sex had always been strained. Now that I was full of sexual desire, I imagined various girls of my acquaintance, naked with me. In world these same girls left me tongue tied and red from embarrassment. Many guys of my age had matured to where they had begun to look and act like literal men. I was small and skinny and had no dead body hair to speak of former than a few sparse, very blonde whisker on my pubis. When I entered the navy at the age of 18, I still could have got easily passed as much vernal.

I had sex with another soul for the first time when I was 18. I was in the USN and stationed in California. I still had absolutely no confidence around girlfriend, but I was always horny. I do n't eff why I did it, but a few day after arriving at the radix, I went walking through the sweltry hot city late at nighttime. I did n't know then that what I was doing was called `` cruising '', a gay full term for looking for sex.

It was a very hot night and I was wearing a armored combat vehicle top and some really short skimpie shortcut, and my black navy military issue dress shoe with bleak windsock that really accentuated my hairless, skinny, feminine looking Patrick Victor Martindale White legs ! After about an hour I spotted a car that I had seen earlier. God - I was so fucking HORNY ! I kept putting my hand in my air pocket and pressing down on my erection.

I knew that the driver was hawking me. I knew that what I was doing was called `` cruising '', and I knew, oh so well, that was what what queers do - and I did n't care. I was so horny I just did n't care ! The car came by again and this sentence pulled over. The driver had his window down. My heart was pounding and I was really skittish. Now I knew that this time I was the nymph, out for seduction. The driver leaned over. `` You need a rhytidoplasty ? '' he asked. He was Latin American, about 40, with a shaved promontory and a goatee.

I walked over to the rider window. `` I do n't know '', I said. `` I 'm just hangin'out. ``

'' seminal fluid on, get in '', he said, reaching over and opening the threshold. I was really nervous - dash - but something inside me told me I had to. I got in the car and closed the door. He drove off immediately, giving me these intense spirit. He pressed the lock release and I heard my door lock. Now I could n't get out even if I wanted to ! I stared straight ahead. Then he put his hand on my bare leg. I stiffened, but said zero. His handwriting began feeling my bare peg and I could find myself getting hard. `` Ju got ta silky legs, puto '', he said. `` Like a woman ! '' I blushed, embarrassed. I did n't bonk what `` puto '' meant.

'' Thank you '', I said, still staring unbowed ahead. He pulled over near a school.

'' Let 's go for a walk '', he said. We walked to the construction and he led me to some exterior concrete stone's throw that descended to a cellar door. We went halfway down the step, until we were out of sight. It was a hot night, dark and very secret. He stripped off his wifebeater and pulled off his jean and undershorts, until he was naked in just his socks and work boot. He was really muscley, big implements of war with piles of big, surd muscles, shave point, goatee, and had a lot of tattoos on his blazonry and torso. He was so - fuckin - CUTE !

I quickly stripped to just my garb shoes. As soon as I was naked he took me and pulled me conclude to his body, leaning down and kissing me deeply, his big hands were cupping my buttocks. He was really hot. He began kissing my lips, face, ears and neck, calling me, `` juera, puto, '' and `` linda. '' He put his helping hand on my berm and pushed me down on my knees. `` Chupar mi pollo, marica ! '' He choked, gripping his grueling shaft. `` suction me. '' I had my first kiss, and now I was about to founder my first blowjob.

I had seen videos before of women sucking men off. I bent my straits and took the head of his pecker into my mouth and began sucking him off. He was moaning and ran his thick fingerbreadth through my mop of thick blonde hair, entwining my hair in his finger to control the drift of my bobbing skull. I ran my manus all over his big hairy legs. Suddenly he tensed and I felt my throat being flooded with quick semen. I swallowed it and he relaxed back on the tone, his chest heaving. I remained crouched between his legs, resting my face against his second joint. I looked up at him. `` Didja like it ? '' I asked him, savoring the unfamiliar taste sensation of semen in my mouth.

'' Oh that was so good, `` juera '', he said. `` Where you learn to suck cock like that ? '' I blushed and put my head down. I felt so ... right, my buttock on his thigh, inhaling the olfactory perception of his bare flesh.

We had a cigarette and then put our dress back on. The Latino - he told me his name was Abel - push me to the bus station. It was 1 a.m. The finally bus going to the foot left a 1:15. Abel sat with me as I waited. He told me that he wanted to see me again. `` I want to fuck you next meter, Blondie '', he whispered. I looked at him. I was so naïve.

'' piece of ass me ? But where ? I do n't stimulate a pussy ? ''

'' I fuck you from behind - that is your chocha - your puss. ''

I rode back to the base, my head reeling from what had just happened. Now I was having back thoughts. I began to feel really raging - with myself - and with Abel. I began to transfer my wrath to him, blaming him for what had happened at the school, as if he had reped me. After a few days I made acquaintance with some of my fellow sailor and tried to put what happened with Abel behind me.

I was furious with myself on the bus rally back to base - and for several days afterward. Furious that I had let myself slip and acted like - like - I dont know ! Like some poof ? I swore that it would never happen again, and I hated Abel for what he had done to me. I felt like killing him.

But guess what ? Two week later, I was laying in my bunk with a hard on. it was a really hot, sweltering afternoon, and I began feeling unbalanced horny ! I teased up my hair and put on my short-shorts and pitch-black clothes shoes with black socks rolled down around my mortise joint, and a skimpy shameful brawn shirt - which I had no business wearing as I had nothing resembling a muscle on my torso ! I looked in the mirror. God, I looked like a tot up poove ! A complete sissy ! But my judgment was sex crazed by that point and I just did n't give a fuck ! It was 3 pm on Fri, and I did n't feature to be back on obligation until Mon. I ran to the bus stop and caught the offset bus to town.

On the drive to downtown all I could guess about was getting some hard prick ! It was still former when I got to town. I went straight from the bus station to a really dirty section of the metropolis. I spotted an old hotel and went to the desk and got a way. The clerk was an quondam bald headed mexican guy. He kept looking at me and licking his sass. I pulled out a coral pink lipstick and applied some to my pouty rim, acting really sexy and putting on a display for him. I mean, I was n't gon na do it him or anything - he was old and ugly - but it turned me on to know that he wanted me. He gave me the key and I went to my room. It was a pretty courteous room for a dump. There were no windows, but I did n't wish about that anyway. And there was air conditioning ! I decided to go out and cruise, hoping to witness Niels Henrik Abel - or some other rough man - it made no divergence to me. I went out, wearing zilch but the butt husking jeans cutoffs - no shirt, no shoes - just the short shorts ! I felt so SEXY - and LIBERATED !

I had been thinking about Niels Henrik Abel a lot lately. By the prison term I hit the street it was 7 pm. It was still light out, but the shadows were growing longer. I walked on a main drag, every so often cutting down the side streets and coming back out on the main drag again. I knew I looked aphrodisiacal and white trashy, barefoot with only if my tiny short-shorts and the pink lipstick ! I wore the pink lipstick because it was noticable but not too obvious. Because looking the way I was looking, the aid I was gon na get was either from some horny cat, OR - from gay bashers !

Then I spotted his pickup ! It was Abel ! My heart was pounding. I pretended not to see him, but I began walking a little more sexy, wiggling my hip a little more, behaving a lot more feminine ! He pulled up side by side to me and I turned. I gave him a little grin, but continued walking. This time it was unlike. This time I was feeling much more surefooted, and I knew how much he wanted me. I wanted him just as badly but I did n't require to act over eager. I wanted him to chase me a little.

'' Keven, I wan na talk of the town to you ! '' he said.I kept walking, but looked over my shoulder, giving him a sexy look.

'' What ? '' I said.

. `` Keven, come on, child, '' he said. Just get in the hand truck so we can talk - ok ? '' I smiled but kept walk, making sure enough to put some squirm in my ass. Suddenly he accelerated and pulled up in battlefront of me, blocking my track. He jumped out of the car and ran up on me, taking my arm firmly in his big hand. I tried to attract away but his grip was like iron. He bitch walked me back to the truck and put me inside. I knew better than to try and run - it would just really take a leak him off and - well - who knows what he would do ?

He drove off and I folded my arms and sulked. He reached over and abstract my jaws in his deal, so soaked that it hurt. `` Do n't sulk, Juera, he said harshly. `` What the piece of tail is the affair with you, Keven ? ''

I shook my head. `` Nothin''' I answered.

`` It 's just that ... well I 've been lookin for you all night ! `` Jose pulled over and pulled me stuffy and kissed me deeply. Oh GOD ! Now I just KNEW I was in love ! `` beloved, I got a motel elbow room, '' I blurted out. `` We can go there, if you want. I do n't have to be back until Monday. ''

When we got to the motel, I could n't facilitate but see the desk clerk staring. I started talking loud and laughing, because I wanted him to see what a fine-looking MAN I had. As soon as we got in the room I let my shorts pin to the ground and stood there naked.. Abel had stripped off too, and was standing in the dimly lit room, his cop like body, muscley and sweaty. I came up to him and ran my fruity small hands all over his gorgeous consistence, and then I licked and kissed his fan chest. His solid workforce cupped my bare prat and we kissed. Then he picked me up and carried me completely naked to the bed.

We were lying slope by position, kissing and making out. Niels Abel 's cock was rock hard. So was my small dick. As we made love, I kept squeezing my man 's severely penis, choking it down near the base. I got down between his big meaty legs and began sucking his putz and chunk. He raised his legs, exposing his very hairy anus. `` kiss it, puto, '' he said. My typeface was properly next to his ass hole. I sniffed it and began to eat him out ! He groaned in pleasure as I hungrily nibbled and tongued out his rectum. Suddenly he lowered his leg and pulled me to him.

'' What is it, dear ? '' I asked him. `` Do n't you like it ? ''

'' I love it, marica, but I want to bang you now. '' He took a small tub of vaseline from the bedside table. `` Here - grease up my dick, bitch. '' I did like he said. Then we began making out some more, and the more we did the more horny we both got. Niels Henrik Abel got on top of me and was passionately kissing on my ears and neck and nipple. I began sobbing. `` What 's wrong ? '' he whispered.

'' Oh, love, '' I sobbed. `` Am I like a woman ? ''

'' You 're ALL woman, baby, '' he told me.

'' No - but am I YOU 'RE woman ? '' I asked.

'' You are about to be, '' he said, raising my legs up over his broad shoulder. I could feel the hardness of his raw essence poking near my rectum. I got scared.

'' Honey, is it gon na hurt ? Please do n't suffer me, honey, '' I begged.

'' Gon na pain good, babe, '' he growled, his rough emery paper jaw nuzzling my lenient neck.

'' sweetie, I do n't think I 'm make yet - I do n't remember we shou -- '' My word of honor were choked of by a searing infliction in my anus as the big mushroom promontory of his rigid cock ripped into me. I screamed in painfulness and tried to get out from under him, but I was totally helpless - that 's how strong he was. I thought I was gon na communicate out the pain was so bad, and then it began to subside as the top dog slid in deeper and deeper, until I felt his pubic bone bump up against mine. He was in, balls deep. My cherry had been popped ! 'This is what it feels like to be a womanhood !'I thought.

Abel began fucking me with long, irksome stroke. I began moving my hips in clock time with his rhythm. He was kissin all over me and I was babbling all sorting of filth - every vulgar, filthy sexual thought spewed from my mouth, like diarreah. I could feel his potent blazon around me so tight I thought he would break up my ribs - and I did n't open a fuck ! THIS is what I had been born to be - woman - a harlot !

Now we were two naked man beings, together as one, the headboard of our coupling bed was pounding against the rampart and I was whining and yelling in double-dyed sexual JOY, my skinny flannel legs wrapped around my Mr 's bull like neck. Finally, Niels Henrik Abel 's stallion organic structure tensed and he shouted out in pleasance as he emptied his load deep into my guts. Slowly he relaxed and soon lay over me.

We spent the rest of the weekend in bed. It was like a honeymoon. I was SO in love ! When Abel dropped me off at the bus post on Monday dayspring, we kissed and he promised to see me again future weekend. But I never saw him again. I know he was married, and that he 'd been in and out of prison, but that was it for us. I cried for weeks, but eventually I got over him. I hated myself for being weak - for being a faggot - and I swore that, from now on I was going completely straight !