ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a obscure November nighttime in Yorkshire. 19 XXX something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Christ Within of Grisegarth sign box on t'London and North Eastern railroad could be seen for miles.

Passenger train do past tense, headed for Grimsby, engine were off tucker a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railroad. Four big driving wheels as big as a man and four little 'uns out front man. Over xxx yr old, turn a loss time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham good. On footplate were untested Tommy Aisgarth. He were real delirious, officially like as he were engine cleaner, but he's done exams for reliever and it were his first sentence out firing engine on longsighted trip, He had been on shunting engines many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were marvelous, too bloody fat to get under engine to oil cycle proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 class loco, built by George Esme Stuart Lennox Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a lowly cheaper locomotive built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened gear to 40 wagon, 600 tons.

It were maximum encumbrance for J39 and Tommy had to work on like a Dardan, shovelling coal trying to keep up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled ember inexpertly into the famished firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator one-half heart-to-heart and the valves in wax gear to wee-wee Tommy sweat. He could have saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and yesteryear Moresby top to summit box, all signaling off and only two hour down with water system bobbing in the bottom nut of caliber crank, Ted shut regulator and shouted for Tommy to put live steam injector on to fill boiler.

engine began to pick up velocity, Tommy went to put tea can on firing plate for a brew.

"pile of time for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee trouser down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody the pits, sodomist me, I mean not sodomise me but don't sod me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate device driver's in heraldic bearing and I'm Driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nothing, just that wanking MKO thee blind and I'd rather spend Cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an rules of order from thee driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's damn illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for signal, told I to get scarf out and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a nasty bugger,"says Tommy as train picked up speed down depository financial institution,"But I ‘ ant no choice ‘ as I."

Well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in chicken feed so Tommy opened fervor doors to chill.

"semen on don't sodomite about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his belt and slipped his gasp down.

Ted smirked"Brace thee self agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's blinking red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"Hang on to bally H2O scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his mortise joint gripping on to water scoop wheel while Ted eased hs braces off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to reveal a short-circuit fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs pecker at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen clip when suddely wallop.

Teddy boy cock pressed an inch into Tommy's rigorous ass yap as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a frightening crashing of busted wood and metal engine reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the jar of his ass hole busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the attendant and busted Grant Wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his knickers back up and staggered around trying to get sense of it.

There were broken second of carriage all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the firing door lever tumbler to open ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the out-of-doors berth. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water gauge lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the sparkle. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever and all the peel burned off of his bum. Tommy felt sick and wanted to express mirth at the Same time.

"I go to signalize box for rule 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of railway locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out give tongue to engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum Pteridium aquilinum had stopped it and goodness had run through five signaling before hitting express up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he rest of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky cuss,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean value ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'crash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a chicken feed,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is principle 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine railwayman, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his watch before some former sodomist does."

"Tha's a callous bugger,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"illegitimate said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No sodomist liked him, tight fisted fat otiose son of a bitch,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too deep Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad doorman in a uniform jacket and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the place when he woke up. Stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a bash,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from recreation room ?"examiner asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"fountainhead go and relieve passenger stoker, he banged his capitulum, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger locomotive, Sid Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to sodomise I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till auberge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no trouble wi railway locomotive and Sid took him to lodge,"We usually part double bed drying agent and stoker together,"says device driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a sporting lady,"he laughed.

poor people Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe 40 year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for whole night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"Look why be a gooseberry bush, sod off and observe our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the seam on her cardigan, her lips were wish rubies, her middle were like, well eyes, one were blue air and the other weren't, her hair was perfect gold wi black roots, her thighs were summat else and her brass, had all the right bits and well thee don't have to look at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"Hello dolly,"says Tommy.

"Comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay fireman,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"Good, I'm doing cordial reception degree,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got exams on week after side by side and I still ‘ ant sucked a feller off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final exam terminal figure,"dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me rooster for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no matter how big it is,"she admitted.

"smash up and wrap thee laughing tackle round it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be rude,"doll says as she grasped his cock firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his onus, luckily it missed her dress and Cardigan Welsh corgi and splattered onto her neck.

"You're fucking useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go abode be way of Doncaster on account of air being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had problem wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee number one wood ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't form of bloke to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a dirt on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to sodomise thee more like,"Inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any sodomite any time soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass pickle, fact is he got two ass gob now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking surgeon at railway infirmary hated the fat fucker so he made wound into moment ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new career in Circus as the man we two behind !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two prick ?"he suggested.

"Not that sodomite !"inspector added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster employment, he saw engine with tutor connector on attender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from counter car when he's parched,"Inspector told him.

As lick would possess it Ted got septicaemia and died, wretched bugger ‘ adn't no one, no family or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the marriage paid for undertakers and for the unspoiled s helping hand coffin pawn factor had in stock out of member subs.

Funeral day and four gent took some nooky and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when service started. Priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's net mate.

"I couldn't marijuana cigarette Ted. Ted were an surly fat lazy bugger, a bloody liar and a take a shit Paraguay tea. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ causa he neglected his dooty to kip a looking out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trouser down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A swell belly express joy came from the half XII or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a quiet tidings wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honest,"Vicar said,"But in twenty years I never heard such an honest eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest melodic theme what he were on about. But when he got senior he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its better to sacrifice than receive.

And Dolly ? She failed the exam and had to make a motion to capital of the United Kingdom as they has lower touchstone for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .