Anxiety To Triumph To Heartbreak : My Low
Erotica, First-Time, MasturbationChapter One
My name is Jason. I 'm a 22 year old senior at a United States Department of State university located way up in the mountains. My starter twelvemonth I joined a fraternity because I was an olympian drinker. I was far from a typical frat boy, but the idea of having a core group of friends to party with was very appealing to an 18 year old me. My sociable life was fairly strong during my first three days of college. I had a lot of friends and was well known around campus.
My aged year I was elected president of my fraternity. I ran on the platform of governing through maturity. There were a lot of detrimental matter that my sodality got into and I wanted to cut short that. I wanted my frat to be more than community oriented and less degenerate oriented. Some hoi polloi liked my approach, some people saw me as a stick in the mud. I did not worry. It was the imagination I had since I saw the degradation my freshman yr. Becoming such a polarize figure in the Hellene residential district garnered me a lot of newfound interest from some of the sorority girls. For three years sorority female child were a cohort that I greatly failed to sympathize. They 're all around lack of disgrace perplexed me and I often found them to be much too forward for me.
Since I can call up interacting with fille was a abominable experience. I never had a lady friend in high gear schoolhouse. I was just getting to the point where I could casually socialize with them toward the end of my gamy schoolhouse life history. My difficulties with the opposite sex continued when I got to college. I thought for sure joining a fraternity would be the magic fix to my fair sex problems, but that fix never came.
starter year came and went and I had no genuine prospects. When I was sober I was refining my social accomplishment with women, when I was wasted, I was making a jester of myself. By sophomore class my social accomplishment were well refined and I was ready to finally break through. That never happened. When I would keep an eye on my Friend seal the mountain I would require genial notes. Some of the things they would say though ... never in a million year would I have the confidence to emulate. So I remained stagnant because I did n't have got a shred of game.
By next-to-last class I had lost a bonnie amount of weight and developed some close-fitting friendship with a few girls that dated friends of mine. I think they saw through me and knew I needed help. Through them I gained trust that I could discourse in a sexual manner with women ... even if they saw it as sottish banter. But for me it was invaluable practice. By the end of my junior twelvemonth I had managed to batten down a few date.
They were n't with the estimable looking girls but I thought that would work to my advantage. I was hoping for a missy with take down self esteem than I had. Turns out that girls that were Thomas More shy and awkward than me did n't present many opportunities for me to `` hard cash the v card '' as my frat boy ally would say. That 's right ... I was still a virgin by 20 years old. By the end of junior yr I had my first kiss. It sucked and I found the little girl to be detestable albeit not bad looking. Beggars can be picker I guess.
Everything changed my senior yr. I came back to school only slightly heavy whereas I was very overweight my first few yr of college. I got two tattoos over summer break and drastically improved my wardrobe. I just moved into our new sodality house about a tail mi from campus. As president I had the beginning alternative of rooms so I got the braggy with a balcony. Things were looking up for me. This had to be it. I always thought `` no way I could go to college a Virgo the Virgin. '' Now my mindset is `` no way can I leave college a virgin. '' I was determined this was n't going to happen.
move in day came and went. mint of booze, lots of drugs, lashings of slutty miss walking around my house. The following morning I was outside chipping golf clod in the forepart thousand when I saw a very unawares, very tan girl coming down the remote stairs.
`` Hi Sydney '' I hollered. I recognized her as a Beta girl. She is quite attractive but it was well known that she made her way through our ranks with relative ease.
`` Holy squat, Jason, you look ... well, you look quite different. '' I could tell she was n't about to startle my os but her stare lingered foresightful than I am accustomed.
`` Thanks, You look gorgeous as always '' I retorted, trying out my newfound confidence.
`` I do n't feel very gorgeous, I was so fucked up last night and I literally just rolled off of Saul 's cock. '' I cringed. How could this incredibly cute and inexperienced person looking female child be so shameless ? I could n't recall of anything to say to that so I put my point down and went back to chipping balls.
Sydney broke the secretiveness `` I do n't sustain anywhere I need to be, I just kinda figured Apostle Paul did n't desire me to linger. Wan na give ear out ? ``
`` Sure '' I said, not entirely sure what that entailed. `` We can hang in the rec way or walk downtown and get breakfast. ``
`` Fuck that '' she said. `` I 'm tucker, let 's go knack out in your room. '' At this point I had a unplayful case of butterflies. I 've had girls in my room plenitude of multiplication but they were almost always accompanied by their boyfriends. Leading the way, we walked back up the stairs and down the hall to my elbow room. I immediately put on medicine and packed a bowl in an attempt to diffuse my social ineptitude. Sydney, at this point, has her place off and was sitting on my bed.
'' Hey Jason, it 's too former to listen to music. Let 's see a picture show. I just wan na decompress. '' I took a longsighted puff off the bowl and passed it to her. As she took her own sizable drag I cued up one of the American Pie movies.
I took a seat in a hot seat opposite the bed, careful to give Sydney her space. She gave me a quirky look then motioned to the bed. She pulled her sweatshirt off and threw out-of-doors the blankets. September cockcrow in the mountains can produce an unseasonable chill, so I was n't surprise when I noticed the careen hard swelling from her slim tee shirt. Either she did n't find my gaze or could handle less. At this point I was in uncharted territorial dominion. I never had a girl in my bed let alone a young lady that had a obviation to sleep with any guy that gave her the attention she so desperately desired.
I awkwardly climbed into the bed staying on top of the blanket on the very edge of the queen bed. Sydney was under the blankets enjoying the movie as well as the premium kush. I could n't focalise on the moving-picture show. I wanted to move finisher and get under the cover but I was so petrified of the potential difference consequence. So I did what I always do, I played the perfect gentleman and when the pic was over I handed Sydney her sweatshirt and escorted her out. She gave me a hug and thanked me for a prissy good morning and was on her way.
For the next several hours I analyzed the skirmish over and over and over. I was upset at myself for not making a move, but at the same clock time I was convincing myself that this was a strictly platonic encounter. Nevertheless I could n't help but feel relieved. If by chance I did slip up my way into Sydney 's pants I know my secret would be exposed. Noone knows I 'm a virgin. I have always lied to my friends. Either they believed me and just assume I do n't get laid a lot, or they just go along with it ... I do n't have the answer to that. Had I had sex with Sydney she surely would have been able to secernate I was a virgin and portion that fact with her ally. By the end of the day all of the Hellene community would let been privy to my secret. Anyway, bettor things were on the horizon.
About 4:00 I heard loud music coming from the driveway. I headed out to investigate the germ of the din. When I got outside I saw two of my roommates Nick and Ryan throwing the football game the distance of the driveway. I decided a little recreation would be a good stress relief so I joined them. After about half an hour gouge 's earpiece started ringing. He answered and held a brief conversation. After he tucked away his electric cell phone he took the musket ball and fired a laser right wing at me.
`` Let 's end on a good greenback, Shannon and Allie are on their way over. They want to hang out ''
`` Ok '' I said. Having lived in a brotherhood house for two years now I was used to multiple exercise set of fille spending time at our house daily. Shannon and Allie are Sigma female child that I 'm not very familiar spirit with. I know they are a course of study below me but that 's about it. I went inside to refresh up a bit and grab a 12 plurality of beer. By the time I got back outside Ryan had taken off for the night and Nick was greeting the two girls. I knew Shannon, she was loud and a tad objectionable ... typical sorority girl. She sported a decent tan, with foresightful black hair. She was absolutely beautiful but truth be told, she was a beef. I quickly turned my attending to her admirer. I recognized her. I vaguely remember her from close year 's natural spring dinner gown. She went with a ally of mine. She was n't a 10, she was n't a smoke display, she was n't a bombshell, but she was the most beautiful girlfriend I 've ever laid my eyes on. She flashed me a hypnotic smile.
`` Hey, I 'm Allie. '' I was speechless. After that perfect smile all but melted me I gathered myself to take in her appearance in smashing point. She is n't the sorority type by any means. She wore tight gym shorts and a baggy T-shirt. She is about 5'6. Not near but far from overweight. She had long shiny brown whisker that went half way down her rachis. While she wore no make-up her face was flawless with a good utter complexion. Her hide was a beautiful shade of emollient. Not sick but far from tan. The gym shorts she was wearing strained by an ass that was nothing unawares of perfection. It was business firm and rhythm and did n't usher a trace of sag. This girl was blessed. The T-shirt offered no denotation of what may be beneath it until a warm malarky blew her shirt, right across her chest. She had belittled breasts, probably an A cup. But they stood at attention like the rest of her perfectly portioned body.
I extended my hired man to sway hers.
`` Hi, I 'm Jason. '' I did n't stammer, I did n't stutter. Even I could tell that my tone exuded trust. Allie grasped my hand. I made indisputable my grip was firm but not too steadfast. I wanted to give the impression that I 'm strong but know when to channel my military strength. I could tell it worked as Allie 's creamy complexion flushed rich red.
Allie 's middle fell to my Obama-Biden 2012 shirt and I could see her heart scant up.
`` I have to acknowledge it 's nice to cope with a progressive guy on this campus. '' She nervously stammered awaiting my chemical reaction. I knew this was my in and I could n't pine away this opportunity. `` He 's a closet liberal '' notch interjected as he slapped my ass on the way by. He and Claude Elwood Shannon announced that they were heading up to his way for `` a minute. '' Allie and I looked at each other smiling knowing they would be more than than a minute.
`` Enjoy ... Jason and I will be out here discussing the socialist takeover of US '' Allie chirped. I almost spewed out my beer at this overt exercise of caustic remark. Right then and there I knew this girlfriend was my counterpart. We made our may over to the picnic table where I took a seat. She did not sit across from me but rather directly next to me. She was so faithful our branch were almost touching.
`` How bout a beer ? '' I said hoping to not be the only one drinking.
`` How bout two '' Allie replied much to my delight. I fished into the cardboard box and grabbed her two beers. Without hesitating Allie cracked open a can and chugged it in two gulps.
`` holy place shit '' I said, thoroughly impressed.
`` I 'm just showing off, I do n't actually drink like that '' Allie replied, cracking another beer. I chugged my beer and cracked another beer. At this pointedness I was very curious to see where this conversation would occupy us. This girl is unbelievably cool and unbelievably hot. By now my selection inherent aptitude are kicking in and they are begging the dubiousness ... what 's the haul ?
We both nursed our second beers, not wanting to impede conversation. Conversation with Allie was easy. It was n't forced. It had a fluidity and a purpose that so many of my conversations with the opposite word sex lacked.
She first wanted to know my political feeling and I was happy to share them with her. It turns out that we were n't quite as aligned as I thought. Me being a moderate democrat and her being a very freehanded continuous tense. This led to various moment of game debate and a piffling playful banter. government aside, the dubiousness turned to a more personal nature. Turns out we are from townsfolk only about 45 transactions apart. We talked about mellow schooltime experiences, our friends, our mutual love of play and fauna. We talked about our kinfolk, our life end and finally we moved to our with child commonalty ; Greek life.
Allie, I learned, was a Jnr that lived in an off campus apartment by herself with her cat. She transferred last year from a private schooling that she hated.
`` To be fair, I joined a sorority because I did n't stimulate many friends at my last school and I thought this was my Best barb at the normal college experience. '' All the patch I 'm thinking to myself `` how the hell could this girl not make Friend. '' As if she was reading my creative thinker she continued `` I do n't exactly have a lot of confidence in myself. I do n't think I 'm very sympathetic. I do n't like the girly female child stuff and I do n't think I 'm very pretty. '' She finished abruptly as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders revealing this to me. She took another swig of beer and looked to me for my reaction to her revelation. It was my number to redden red.
`` I think you are good looking '' is all I could muster. Telling a loose woman like Sydney she was hot was easy but telling Allie she was pretty was so unmanageable for me. My fear of rejection was showing itself. Allie did n't say anything, instead she took one Sir Thomas More generous swig of beer and laid her head on my shoulder. No words were needed. She was so close now that our legs were touching. My bare leg was resting against her smooth fragile peel. This was the closest contact I have ever had with a young woman and my biological routine were not letting me block it. I could find my erection growing in my gym drawers. This presented a very inapt possibility. Fortunately snick and Shannon came barreling down the steps and jolted Allie 's head word straight up.
`` What 's up love birds '' dent hollered as Shannon smacked his arm.
`` Grow up gouge '' Allie snapped as she quickly rose from the picnic board. She glanced at her telephone set presumably to correspond the time. As Claude Elwood Shannon and Nick walked to the car, Allie bent down to where I 'm sitting and rested her mitt on mine. `` It was a pleasure to get to know you Jason, I 'll see you around. '' And with that she was off. I watched her walk the short distance to the car in double-dyed unbelief. Those were the most excite hours I 've ever spent with a woman.
Resigned to the fact that she was gone, I gathered my beers and headed for my room. With the slender buzz going on I stripped down to my boxers and got in bed. I pulled out my laptop and went to my darling porn website. Thinking about Allie I slipped my hands in my pants and started playing with myself. I was determined to realize this a marathon dork session. I scoured the porn star page until I settled on one that confining resembled the newest object of my fondness. Riley Reid. She had the same yearn brown hair, the same fat ass, the Lapp bantam tits and very similar facial features. She did n't face as aphrodisiac as James Whitcomb Riley but I thought she was utter. I watched a video of Riley masturbating with just her digit. I did n't want to guess about Allie having sex, I just wanted to fantasy about the purity of her body. Thinking about her the integral time I was stroking my dick, I came very quickly. wellspring after I finished masturbating, I found myself dwelling on the few hours we spent together. It wasn't lustfulness or sexual. I wanted to know her in every way. I desperately wanted to see her again. Turns out I would n't have to expect long .