As I visited with my cousin, a man as perverted as myself, he asked me,"What's the weirdest matter you ever had your dick stuck in ?"
Immediately, I remembered the incest with my sister ; jacking off with a diversity of things wrapped around my shaft ; a couple of laughingstock, which fit my cock about the Saame as my stringent pussy sister-in-law ; and…. The cantaloupe.

Leo already knew about the incest with Mae and Jody ... he was the one who started it all. We took turns with Mae many times, but I don't she ever let Leo get into her panties. I got there… but that 's not what this report is about.

As we grew up, Leo and I often compared the sizing of our growing turncock, and would own a race to see who could cum first when we 'd scramble our meat. We'd try out jacking our rod with rolls of toilet paper ; with the cardboard kernel pulled out. charge plate pocketbook with lotion in them, then wrapped by a washcloth worked great. There's no telling how many of our daddy'condoms we slipped on to jack off ; and we always compared the results… but that 's not what this story is about.

I did n't fuck the goats until after I was married, and tried it just for the hell of it. I'd catch an opportunity when the Bridget would be gone shopping or to one of the kid's house and read/write head for the goat shed. It did n't consume long to train Pearl and Polly to stand and eat from the feed bucket while I used their small kitty for my pleasure. I don't proceed my sexual experiences a hugger-mugger from Leo, so he knows about the nurse, too… but that 's not what this story is about.

Leo knows I 'm still pounding my sister-in-law 's snatch every hazard I get. She 's had all three of her Thomas Kid by C-section ; so her pelvis has never been forced by delivering a baby. Plus, she can knead her wild cunt muscles like nearly men have never experienced. She 14years younger than me and her husband is a rotten son-of-a-bitch. I really think she's in love with me and would leave his deplorable ass in a second, if I was complimentary and available… but that 's not what this report is about, so ... ....

I began by telling Leo about my buddy, Paul….
We started the first form together and graduated side by side. We both had older brothers, so we weren't too storm when we discovered how nifty it felt to jack off, and we did that ( side by side ) for years. Who really knows ; if Apostle Paul was still alive, we may still be doing it together.
Paul's dick was slimmer than mine and had a slight, upwards curved shape. Mine was fatter, but about the same duration.

Somewhere along the line, after Leo had explained the birds and bees to Mae and me, Paul and I made her niggling pussy the object of our pleasure. Eventually, big sis joined in, too.

During high schoolhouse, both of us snagged girlfriends that didn't hesitate to fuck ; quite often we would fill both seats in Saint Paul's old Ford with au naturel bodies, but they wouldn't work a swap with their trade good. My Sharon was great, but I always wanted to plow Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie's kitty-cat, too.

My car was too small for the four of us, but Sharon learned how to fold up her skinny, little rump and give me a terrific blow job, when it was just the two of us.

Paul's mom moved to another town when we were in our senior class. His older sidekick, Kraut, had already played out time in the Army and had his own apartment, so Paul moved in with him to finish his elder twelvemonth. He remained there after commencement exercise, until he and Christie got married.
Anyway, moving in with Hun had another definite advantage…It didn't take long to convince the girl that a bed worked ripe than a car seat.

So it happened that our gals got summer business as counsel at a church building camp about forty international nautical mile away from home. They were capable to come family on weekends, but Hun and his girlfriend had the apartment, so St. Paul and I were banished on Saturday and Lord's Day. Those bottom in the old Ford got a good workout on Saturday Nox and Sunday afternoons.

Now, I'm not gon na say that we were entirely celibate while the little girl were gone, but sometimes, good kitty with a trustworthy mouth was intemperately to bump.
One eve during the week, Alice Paul made a comment,"I'm so Goddamn horny I could fuck a watermelon."
I laughed, but got to thinking… all we had done for the last several months was fuck some tangible pussies,"You're one crazy mother fucker, Alice Paul. But let's go for a ride."

I knew of a large, commercial garden just outside of town. I stopped my VW mallet just long enough for us to jump out and grab three cantaloupes, each. Paul wanted to know why we were stealing the melons and I told him,"We got ta nookie something tonight."

We only took the two ripest I ino the flat. It would still be three or four 60 minutes before Krauthead would get off work, so I took a tongue and barely cut through the outer rind. When the 3inch circle came off, I plunged the knife into the center and twisted it around, making a maw about a half inch across. It was easily reamed out with my thumb, to the size mess my unvoiced prick would fit through.

Apostle Paul laughed as he watched, but when I pushed ol'Fat Boy through, and down into the quick seed cavum, he started working on the early cantaloupe. Before long, both of us were acting like those two elementary school male child who used to blot out behind the dumpster ; and see who could dissipate our wad the highest.

It was overemotional and made a hole, but I finally emptied my load inside. Paul got so tickled that he couldn't plunge his sperm in his melon, so he pulled his slimy rod out and finished by hand.
We were cleaning up the kitchen floor and about to lave our cocks and balls, when Paul flare-up with laugh,"I'm gon na disrobe this fucking cantaloup, cut it up in chunks, and put it in the fridge. Krauthead's been a son-of-a-bitch lately and he's gon na love eating what I just fucked."

fountainhead, we cleaned both of the fruit, put them in to cool, and left.
Sure enough, after we had our sonic hamburger and tiddler, we went back to the flat to retrieve Jerry & his asshole pal, Charles, watching TV and eating chilled cantaloupe.
We quickly said,"Hi,"and excused ourselves back outside… God it was funny.

To this day, anytime Paul the Apostle and I get together, we have a big chuckle about fucking cantaloupes and feeding them to his brother.
He'll kill us if he ever finds out .