senior pilot Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain St. Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from blinking Yorkshire and I do n't establish a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody see.

We had a bloody bad trip back from US on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure as shooting me brass were condom and went to see fucking Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a lady of pleasure boudoir with furnishings to match. broker were a Slimy shit with slicked down fuzz and poncy suit. He sat behind this over milled bloody oakwood crashing desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"commodity day Captain, I am delighted to run into you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me face,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me crashing mind,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the administration,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you signify Brass,"his helper chipped in. She was like a forgetful haired gorilla in a Shirley Temple dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody round-eyed enough even for you bloody unlearned Lanky bugger ent it ?"

"Brass is an metal of cop and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking Mary Leontyne Price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in speedy. Daft bastard on tabulator near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a funfair few cud and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody day ocean trip took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some nerve in bank and could come rest home instead of scratting unit of ammunition down due south United States of America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven skipper what were a mate of mine, we had a confab for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave food market, I fancies a nice plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have hard worker in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody underworld do I find a nice plump Virgo for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to recover one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at queen mole rat Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner carte outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would birth a bite to eat. Now I ent wooden-headed or nowt but I couldn't make school principal or poop o menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea clip and noonday time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

managing director fare up to me and asked me patronage,"looking for a nob to espouse,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrongfulness end of joint and suggested a brace of woman of the street theater.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a evenhandedly bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for working girl till I gets blooming clack and me cock rots off."

"You can't hold open slaves anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of celibacy rap,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his dorsum to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a control stick at, why not piss him an offering ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church building mouse.

"That's W. C. Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a distich of daughters to offload like ?"I says true out.

"And who the blaze are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorousness,"I says,"I ent no household painter I'm bloody sea captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me crashing mind."

His poncy nob mate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody governing body you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, twain of bloody tits, her own tooth, audience and seeing would be a incentive but long as she can do in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your bill right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many crashing card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this gent said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my business firm directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to appear too peachy but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a stat mi or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His office needed a lick of paint and the Samuel Butler's crownwork had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servants fourth,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"chieftain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll palpate me all-fired belt hybridization thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an wretched cunt,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to jab thee."

"This is my wife chieftain,"bloke says,"lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me brush up the chops, we her overnice bridge player and half column inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite want to court one of our daughters costly,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was lord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my bushed dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"seed now we are all Quaker here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his look went a deathly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody feed water heart bloody arbor bloody secretory organ bloody blew and I haven't had a blooming shtup in weeks."

"Capain please,"ma'am Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, all-fired Shipping lark."I said,"governance is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody get back down."

"And you seek to motor hotel my daughter ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more crashing like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no smutty bloody butler poking on her ilk thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'backbone 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit blinking nail on't bloody pass, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and meet sea captain er, what is your gens ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first fille were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulder joint, blue center, lame rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my endorsement eldest,"gentlewoman Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody psyche and you're a stunner and no mistake."

"I speak my psyche too sir and you sir are entirely repugnant,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a all-fired kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her bosom you 'd have thought she were a fucking bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"madam Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a blooming young woman eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin son, baboons even,"I laughed.

"goodness then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit tenuous on bloody reason,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matter,"she said.

I thought a bit all-fired quick, good chance her were a bloody Virgo the Virgin, if I blew blooming candle out it wouldn't matter what her fucking expression looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll ass thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"captain !"overlord Mc protested.

"basketball team hundred,"I offered,"guinea, to take her off thi bloody hand and put a annulus on her bloody finger's breadth, consume it or entrust it."

"We really need the money,"peeress Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife young girl, not just a fucking tart to shag, someone to seem after me bloody planetary house, James Cook, clean look after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No guise of love or fondness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, flaming warmheartedness, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do upright than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the result captain is no, never."She stormed away in a flaming strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the immediate payment,"I said,"If thee thought I were blooming messing."

Lord Mc's optic bulged as I showed a scoop fully of gold.

"rent a shabu of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a minute,"overlord Mc suggested,"I have a prissy Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a blinking pint."I said. He gave me about plenty to swim a bloody black eye, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a commotion,"Get off me !"I heard the girl dissent,"check it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that abominable man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a reasonable fucking price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail bang clattering on fresh round off oak flooring, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber amah and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a drained Melanogrammus aeglefinus. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no knickerbockers or nothing but showing her privates and decent creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a look Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you crashing bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But police chief,"ma'am Mc replied but the flicker of igniter off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody tune,"leave of absence them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me sea captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd stamp out your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't stew lass, I never had to force a bloody bird to jazz me in me crashing life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't worn spot, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingerbreadth gently up her thigh and then I started to part her puss lips with me fingers. It weren't the initiatory sentence. Her cunt was well used.

"looking at like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of row not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a affair ?"

"well your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a blooming gent I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candle then has tha ? Like I caught me all-fired sis doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Lets call in it our minuscule bloody secret shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no blinking alien to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her fiddling nub her boob were getting courteous and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no effective ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her cervix, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her mammilla and on down to her pitcher's mound. She sorting of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me lingua in the channel between her backtalk down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or damn never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bally involve me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her middle were like discus, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody pommel end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody puss like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were blooming heaven. Right in till me formal were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody have a go at it ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for blooming biography like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me blinking warhead over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"L guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody cargo over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly police captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to dash a dot of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me nut was bloody crinkling and me rooster was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too recent for flaming pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of N and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next sentence perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody turncock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may imbibe my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her teat right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to find your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody face-to-face,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our lingua entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me prick reared and before I knew it we was bloody screw again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. overlord and gentlewoman Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're conformable like ?"

"Absolutely old fellow, congratulations,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us throw the meshing announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sodomist that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody seaport and I can do fucking marriage, no blooming need to waste fucking brass instrument on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a metre or two her started bloody smiling at me and her tone quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matter and she's bloody mavin and no bloody mistake even if she is from damn Lancashire .