Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze clitoris on my dismay clock. He was so tired because he had been doing XXX hours a hebdomad at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home life. Add in schooltime and the preparation that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the time he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his brother and sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to brush his teeth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"skillful morning"to her before leaving for school. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so upstage, there was no real connectedness left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his mother goodbye and then left with his buddy for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't spill much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Luke had very little in park these day. They had unlike friends, Luke being more of a social butterfly ; different tastes in music, Jess listened to more heavy metal and rock-and-roll, while Luke was more into the pop euphony scene ; etc ... Once they got to school, that was it. The car ride there was the most clip they spent with each former in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their earphone the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. High shoal had never been"as promote"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a handful of admirer, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more deject, his thoughts sometimes turning to suicide. base life was ... well it was n't a home anymore ...

"Good morning time Mr. Knight ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."forenoon ”, Jess replied back. He took his bottom and started on the homework he did n't finish last Nox. mathematics was a particularly hard subject field for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject area for the semester, but at this dot that was the last thing on his mind. Staring at the dummy sheet of paper in front of him, his judgment started to weave."What am I even doing here ? I have no role, no desire, no happiness. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone care ? testament my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The bell for the end of home room rang, jolting him back into consciousness."darn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a I problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from school ( his crony was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activities ), his foot to the floor and the radio blare. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his biography and he was retreating into it more and more, barely paying attention to anything else. music made him feel hefty, made him feel like he had a understanding to live. It seemed that the lyrics of the song on the radio set spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him feel well-chosen that somebody, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his study uniform, he took a feeling at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, sinister brown hair, electric blue heart, was about six substructure tall, and had slim consistence. The person staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The eyes of the somebody in the mirror looked so desolate and empty it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the illumination and headed to work.

At body of work that night, he just floated aimlessly through the eventide, barely engaging the customer, just wanting the Nox to end so that he could go home base and sopor. Sleep, the one thing and one meter of the day when he did n't palpate hollow out, lifeless. When did n't feel anything but repose. The next day was Saturday and he did n't have to go to puzzle out or school so he could sleep all through the dark and well into the break of day.

Opening the room access to his home after workplace, Jess got a lukewarm"Hi"from his parents. The kind of"hi"that you say out of politeness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that night, and then went to his room. Turning on his reckoner, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a bunch of spam, but then Jess saw the e-mail. Charles Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the email, then shut off his reckoner and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small sense of hope.


critique welcome. Like I said, let me recognize if I should stay .