An old story reprised.

Note All characters are entirely ficticious and my apology of any family or company names have inadvertently been used


My noblewoman 's blood line, the Samuel Butler Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the draft room windows. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a gardener snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary bicycle summers day.

Mr William Henry Harrison my Creator 's pedigree broker and adviser arrived just after luncheon, he asked no exact to see my gentlewoman with the utmost urgency.

'' But sir, my lady is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most probable with one lieutenant Carruthers her in vogue dalliance.

I went to assay her, I went upstairs to her room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo good, do n't kibosh. ``

'' There 's someone knocking, '' a man 's voice hissed.

'' Mr Harrison wishes an consultation my lady, '' I explained through the closed door.

'' Then have him wear a mirthful wig and appear at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny, '' my lady whispered, `` seem its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a moment ! ''

Amazingly quickly my noblewoman appeared at the threshold, a vision of golden coil and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lipstick.

'' My gentlewoman, '' I explained, `` Your lip joystick ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so damned impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the damage with a napkin.

'' Good cranny, mums the word ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his pocketbook from his Caucasian cricket trouser he tucked a ten shilling promissory note in my top air pocket, `` See myself out, backward way. '' and he slipped away, the very epitome of a waiting room lizard, or should that be lounge snake.

I left him to his deceit and deception, no doubt the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to spare half an minute for cuckolding but perhaps his enormous ego would not grant him to appear less than a superman at the crease but he was certainly most unworthy of my gentlewoman 's heart.

My lady swept downstairs, `` Mister Harrison, what a pleasant surprise ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not noblewoman Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we speak privately ? ``

'' The study is available my Lady, '' I suggested.

'' He means sodomise off Holdford ! '' my noblewoman hissed.

'' Alford my ma'am, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my lady. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my ordure, Mrs nosepiece the cook stood at the sink, `` disquiet Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, ponderous breasted, round shouldered and old before her time, `` None of our business Mrs Bridges, '' I said using the courtesy rubric of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a Virgo, with little outlook of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my lady shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the written report and fling the door wide. My lady was aghast, but stood one thousand from Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My peeress is distraught ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no blame. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' God Almighty Saltcoats has been declared bankrupt, '' Harrison explained, `` Receivers have been appointed, my Lord has seven calendar mean solar day to countermand these premises, meanwhile all banking company accounts are frigid. ``

'' What do you mean ? '' I demanded.

'' Household accounts, all that kind of thing, '' he explained, `` It 's the stock market, and reinsurance, high finance, you would n't empathize. ``

I should have hit him for his insult, but how was he to know my true graphic symbol ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the fabric of the country house.

'' There will be some balance surely, the London mansion house ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liabilities vastly exceed the assets. ``

'' Then why let this happen ! '' I queried.

'' None of your clientele, '' he said, `` But I had no estimate, none at all, I merely manage his lordship 's investment funds portfolio, of class we made backbreaking losses, but no more than anyone else, less than many, it 's not my fault he started meddling in insurance, none at all ! ``

'' What does it entail, where will we go ! '' my lady demanded.

The telephone rang, in an automatic pistol innate reflex I went to the entrance hall to answer it.

'' Rainsford family, God Almighty Saltcoats residence, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' somebody demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' right field look its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's London chauffeur, I got some bad news. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' Look tell Mrs bridge that lord Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone bankrupt. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at Victoria around ten o'clock this sunrise and they said to go household when I got back, I reckon he legged it to France on the Flesh de Whore, '' he meant the Golden Arrow string, `` What do you signify bankrupt ? '' he demanded, `` Oh damn, I ai n't got no more penny tell Mrs Harry Bridges, '' he said after the telephone pinged and suddenly it went drained Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only decent matter, '' President Benjamin Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The gear ferrying to France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the total shit ! '' my lady cried.

'' Indeed my lady, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally common soldier use of his Lordship 's telephony was footing for instant dismissal but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the wind I booked a birdsong to my cant in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` kin Silver, '' in their rubber deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my lady protested when she saw me at the telephone when I should have shown Mr President Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How dare you ! '' she said, `` Collect your things you are dismissed forthwith ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can dismiss you with zippo ! '' she said, `` No requital, no reference, no character ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! ingest your things and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay deputy Carruthers and a few more than I might mention ! '' I suggested.

'' No, ravishment ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the doorway and pushed her inside pausing only to bolt the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at to the lowest degree let me undo the hook shot, this cost an absolute fortune. ``
'' Of course, '' I said, `` give up me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her dress, `` Be careful, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded bosom bulged over her red corset, her red pants enclosed by the brace straps, and she stood up and laid the dress carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's better, '' she said and she screamed, `` ravishment, '' again several times.

'' Ot would appear the US cavalry is otherwise engaged my lady, '' I observed as I removed my highly polished blackened shoe to uncover well worn nigrify socks with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Energy police lieutenant Carruthers remove his shirt and under shirt brothel keeper ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your business concern, '' she declared, `` Rape ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my jacket and shirt front man, slipped the cardboard collar off and removed my undershirt.

'' Good Godhead, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my fly and removed pant and underpants in a unmarried motion.

'' God, you are pleased to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my manhood as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her suspenders away from her stockings and pushed her knee pants down before kicking them off her feet.

'' Rape, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't hurt me will you, and there are some johnny 's in the binding table.

'' They spoil the minute my lady, '' I explained, `` I shall bestride you as the expert God Almighty intended. ``

It was nearly a calendar week since my stopping point night off, spent with two buxom whores in the townsfolk a tedious ten long naut mi away by bicycle, and my need was great, and her protestation were niggling but tokens.

'' Do n't wound me, '' she asked again as I gripped her waist as I planted my knees firmly between hers and blindly aimed my manhood at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining humanness between her unseen cunt mouth and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the spirit of her moist pussy gripping me.

'' I do n't bonk, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` practiced ? '' I asked.

'' Much ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's best, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` Fuck me, you 're going to prison house for this so revel yourself ! ``

I started to think of her as a woman of the street, a beautiful golden haired high socio-economic class whore, and then I remembered the smeared lipstick and I determined to taste her backtalk as well and I dipped my back talk to caress hers.

Her tongue emerged instantly, running around my teeth, my mind exploded and so did my cock jolt and pumping and flooding her portion, and as our mouths parted she was gasping and muttering, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're belly-up '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, rapine or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My lady. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't face ruin, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing Lieutenant ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me experience expert, '' she said, `` But then to be fair, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a courteous frigidity cell or me ? ``

'' What a pick, may I have a moment to reckon my madam ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearances to wield, '' she insisted and she went to coiffure again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a katzenjammer of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My Maker. '' Binks the oral sex gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his lordship 's bankrupt, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs Bridges asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to stand behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no purpose of leaving so soon yet there was minuscule pointedness in remaining, `` We need to speak, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you drive ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll take the Rolls, '' she insisted, `` The shooting brake ! ``

We left that same evening, her luggage stowed in every spare quad it that huge crudely overbodied travesty of a luxury car so wide-cut that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you propose ? '' she replied.

'' wellspring I doubt cooking or cleanup is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, tart, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' Separate seam ? '' she asked, `` I 'll visit you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for work ! '' I joked.

I could n't trust her, I never really intended for her to become a cyprian but could not run a risk telling her the true statement, maybe I should have, but I didn't.

You see three years before my father had made arrangements for me to work in the United DoS of America, to learn about the American language system of rules of banking which seemed so greatly superior to ours, and while there the great crash of 1929 erupted through the whole economic system.
I was working at a metier size city bank as a sorting of assistant manager, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to chance all at once.

ordinary bicycle mass, fixture kinfolk waited in a line right down the street and you did n't need to be a wiz to work out we had not even a tenth of the money those hoi polloi thought they had in their accounts to pay them. We started paying out in the dawning and by noon the bank vault was abandon, except that is an unobjectionable cardboard box of big value bills which somehow found their way in my locker, for safe keeping you understand.

Ted Adams chieftain cashier and Jim McFadden the coach came down the bank hall all glum faced, `` Shut the doorway Jim, '' McFadden said to the guard, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a near riot, I slipped out the dorsum way with my box and in all the confusion I swapped my xx seven Buick for the janitor 's cycle and coat and I rode off down the street on that bicycle with about a half million one dollar bill in that cardboard box balanced on the hybrid bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north West towards New York City on the even train.

So what do you do when you have half a million dollars of somebody else 's cash ? Why get a job of course.

Except the world and his brother was looking for a job, so I bought some furniture, put my box in a buffet, had it crated and arranged shipment to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed domicile 2nd class.
I had my crate put in storage and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the states, changed my name to Alford and forged some reference work and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some nation air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my references were forged, she thought she could plunder me any sentence and that would keep me in telephone circuit and blockade me telling her husband about her lovers.

But now I had half a million dollar bill to pass, without being noticed.

We found a prissy small apartment, it was over a betting workshop in the Harrow Road, the landed estate agent had hundreds of evacuate properties, we could claim our pick.

She had savings, we pawned some of her jewellery, we painted the apartment, bought beds furniture, I had my stuff from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a real team.

Then when we were all ready to open I told her my programme, `` see, '' I said one evening after a particularly farseeing and gruelling session in bed.

'' I know, Mister flopsy is tired, he needs a buss, '' she said as she bent to kiss my soften penis.

'' My dame, you do n't need to sleep with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollars to launder, you just say an eccentric American paid you in dollars. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the work, we were going to get a amah, set off little, establish up, two or three gentleman a night to get down with. ``

'' We can just use it as a book binding, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't desire ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously guess you live up to me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr Floppy always needing a suck to kick kickoff him, for welkin sake ! ``

'' You want to be a woman of the street ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a valet in XL minutes and a handmaid in ten. ``

'' At the Sami time ? '' I queried, `` One up the back passageway ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the heart and soul, even with a few days a month when we need a stand in we will pee a violent death ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your turn, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need more. ``

We heard zip of Maker Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The Lady 's Boudoir '' one evening in September 1932.

The public figure was stencilled on the doorway beside the betting shop class an inside the door we had a booth where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the rear of the stairs and then I would greet the gentlemen, take their chapeau and gloves and stand in attendance in casing they needed assistance with fertilization and always uphold circumspection and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid aurora trough after midnight while a succession of men used her, `` in effect day sir may I demand your hat ? '' I would ask and get a scornful glare in return as boxing glove were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached agreement for the betting shop to be our waiting elbow room, every day there was my noblewoman, answering to any name under the sun, gaming acting the sweet heart, legs astride, slit glistening. tit distended, bathed in sweat like as not and then dragging some one-half naked gentleman subtraction trouser and underpants but like as not retaining wind sleeve and sock suspender to her as she grasped his rampant member to aim it within her or suck it to life-time or completion.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, fourth dimension after sentence, week after workweek, month after month until every apothecaries' ounce of compassion I had for her was ground to nothing by the friction of crotch upon crotch.

I rented a sign of the zodiac for us in Middlesborough patio so we could get away from her oeuvre, but she was always too hackneyed so I had the other bedroom converted to another workplace elbow room, unsheathed flooring and a simple-minded mattress.

They paid duplicate for the round-eyed mattress, the more than soiled it got the dependable they liked it because it stopped being gentlemen and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to have it off a fine lady on a colly mattress.

'' Maybe you would prefer standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a instant of reckless sarcasm.

'' And how a good deal supernumerary would that be ? '' the crack asked quite seriously.

'' look-alike, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll sustain that ! '' he agreed.

She used the court, the ginnel was too public and she wore a pair of sprocket and a servants duster, sometimes we had three men waiting while a fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the lady, if she remembered to continue her mouth shut, when not clamped around a customer 's extremity that is, she was hunky-dory, except it made too much work for me keeping an eye on two whores, taking money and everything.

One night a Irishman asked me to fuck him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an estimate, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an advert in the windowpane and got ten query in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked nothing better than wearing a skirt with nothing under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie idiom betrayed him and he relished the estimation of ramming his meat up valet 's butt while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely equal to so I left him to it, and gradually did to a lesser extent and less time at the Boudoir and he became more or less the coach while I planned my next move.

I went to London and became delayed with my affairs and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` valet want variety sir, I got some new girls in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the entirely understanding ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a lady of pleasure, sir. I never thought she was your special whore. ``

I went out to attempt her, I asked around until I heard of soul living in a hut by the railroad line and earning a crust from home level and the like.

I had to find her and bought a bowler hat and smock coat like a railroad track official and marched down to the rail yards.

There was no polarity of her, but then a lucky stroke, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' someone asked a device driver as his faulting ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the lady, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the long aloofness men lodged before returning home plate, and there I found her raw but for a coat open at the front sitting on an engine man 's locker hearing to the taradiddle of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the house, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to charge more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to comfort, '' she said, `` They make me feel wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde hair seemed to be silvering, her hide once like onyx marble now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll proceed an story for your money, you know where to determine me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in four-card monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each former after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scotsman had her in his coal dusted arms and his sinister workforce ran through her whisker and his black-market lips brushed her ruby brim and it was more than I could digest to see.

I hid my snag and left her even as she gasped in commendation as her scots lover took her to heaven once more .