`` What floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding high above Magdelene Street while
answering my cellular phone phone.

'' The lounge trading floor, '' a adult female with a plummy accent insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not upright enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was workweek ago ! '' I explained.

'' wellspring it 's not good enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the name and address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a wispy hope, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall expect you at seven this eve, that should give you meter for exhibitioner and a Malva sylvestris burger. ``

'' That 's hotfoot minute ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving British capital darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't take a lot choice really, so I thew my tools in the old transit at knocking off sentence and headed round mums for a insect bite to eat and a shower before hitting the M40 eastward bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her home around ten to seven, an old fashion Town firm with a few step up to the front room access and a few down to the cellar, probably 1880 ish, bath Lucy Stone faced to outset floor horizontal surface then submit, a red brick structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're early, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front end door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' Well meliorate your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to appropriate me into the hall. She looked late thirties acted like 90, stuck-up bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` schoolmarm, '' a girlfriend 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the cleaning woman insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maids outfit about four size of it too minuscule, her knocker swelled over the top and it barely reached below her navel which must ingest been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeballs back in, they 're on stalks ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up up and smell the coffee, '' she insisted, `` Really the belittled mindedness of the typical British people proletarian never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't press it. '' she said as she locked the outside door behind me, `` But we are not here to hash out my sexual preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the base was as I left it, sealed tongue and groove stripped pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the job ? '' I asked as I noticed a stiff smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` Leaks, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water leaks, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spillage should be fine. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of germicide ? ``

'' You had safe see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the depot room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not H2O, '' I said, and I rubbed my fingerbreadth against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the noisome drainage, nothing to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, do upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me prove. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` show up our guest the problem. ``

'' fancy woman ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man Mistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a moment, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My mind boggled, she had done her outdo but her knocker still bulged from her top and at least the bed twosome of inches of her cunt were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please Mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid nestling, '' she insisted.

I had no idea what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'underworld ! '' I swore, `` No damned question it wetting and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Dylan Marlais Thomas Crapper, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your small disposed world have you no knowledge of piddle variation ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, water system skiing, but not pissing on the animation elbow room floor. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life history quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some infinite,

'' Come Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an hard-on which would n't dishonour a to the full fully grown rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you mean Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a nice rigid forearm to the transitory severity of the male member, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob smack if I 'm reliable. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a short rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully lilliputian clenched fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like prick, '' the mistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your hard-on young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of form I got a intemperately on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' Ninety seven percent of the adult population, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a nonage fetich Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the option I would choose the old Thomas throne urinal to the keep room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my sassing, in my hair, in her hair, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a thought process, '' I admitted.

'' The freedom to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to restrain bedchamber weed under the bed when my howling dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't resolve, does n't the thought of your piss arcing through the air to intoxicate my dress, my bandeau, my knocker, does that not excite you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your brim are silent yet your cock speaks volumes, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't care tool, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` poor girl she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid person, which is why I keep Pippa on a suddenly trinity, from her revealing wearable to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all intents and intent, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for base on balls in the car park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop scoop. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the lavatory, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my blue jean, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` Please ! ``

'' Look, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic activity not readily mistaken for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' Look, '' I said, `` You need coat and coats of varnish, racing yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in mind when you had the place done, I just subbed on the base. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract bridge, strictly President Benjamin Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a triviality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the waterproofing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the problem ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for material, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's traveling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for gasolene, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's rima oris, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, speed middle class bitch, who would n't need to wee-wee in her aspect ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining cock oceanic abyss in her sweet pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of study. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for ages have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like cock do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you digit and my toys mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a voiced smear for it but as I mentioned a unbending forearm beats a flexible stopcock on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the unit room bare, no furniture, it will be about a week after the lowest coating before you can risk using it again, twelve minute before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the cellar, tile the floor like a exhibitor, tile the walls a bit too, not white but maybe ticket grey or something, then you can play there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary measure and for those awful wet nights, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to make a job we really take to select out the existing, pin in a membrane. ``

'' How often ? '' she demanded. I gave her a orb ballpark, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two days, then you 'll need a plumber to do the shower principal or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday workweek if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colouring wise it should be easy enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` email me the net quotation and I am sure enough we have a tidy sum. Can I get you a glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bulge in my jeans.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' Good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` goodby Pippa, prissy to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front door, `` The Tradesman 's entree is down the steps to the right, '' she explained, `` adieu Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' just nighttime, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big smile on my nerve, I just turned a ailment into two days paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to discover about the early stuff, now hang on, I 'm a constructor not a bloody deviant !

To be continued