I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classic style of a land valet de chambre while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a oppose pair of Zane Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in turmoil battle cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His grace of God indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then aim me pray, '' I requested, in as lordly way as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the debacle sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by right hand he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to keep possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this trick ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` effective than excavation, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as prophylactic with your drive, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed places and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a dear lick and swung into the lame, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething mass of humans confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should make been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a suspension in Bodmin in Aug, for a smashing wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes Christian church the entirely food market square was packed with all stratum and upon that stage a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waistline, her gown or shift ripped from her and dangling from the train around her shank and her cloaked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely peril breasts and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her mitt were manacled and uselessly chained together and the strand tied to a high irradiation high above her head which served to reserve her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The gang were impale and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no attentiveness but I supposed that a public whipping was the stature of their time of year, and all classes were present, merchandiser and peasants, workers and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the intention, the nobleman Graham, his son, by his side and the gentlewoman Phillipa his younger girl with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the stroller through a T tour and tethered the squad outside the Dragon Inn.

The maiden was nil but a hobble and bloodied raft when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the steps to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His blessing Earl Leslie Howard told me to apply the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three calendar month hence you shall get together again to see the penalty I laid down. ``

He paused for breathing space, `` Note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalisation should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen penalization ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I Judge Grant am a man of my word and all are equal in my lawcourt, that the miserable maid and mellow lady can await equality of handling ? '' he demanded. There was a mussitation of approval. `` That the ma'am Catherine received no predilection when she abused her confidence and slip a bangle, as she called it, one that should cost a handmaid five years labour ? ``

It hit me like a sled hammering, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the fields and six more shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered indulgence should she fink as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt feelings, will not confess, will not apologise and without contriteness there can be no leniency, no prosperous animation as a home servant so shall she continue as the downcast farm young lady until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her Labour Party for her father to disown, I suggest she may have found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` grand shalt not slip. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my auricle and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her buttock were now not painted but naturally crimson and her shoulder joint firmed and muscled, and then as the roofy were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her work shift fell away revealing an Fe chastity belt.

A great laugh arose and collide Catherine from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, desperate to maintain the reserve that in truth was lost, and all the while her centre were crying but her bust had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the grease of her face.

'' That 's your daughter ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' breakthrough Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a ho-hum and unspeakable process, but by and by we made progress until at length the yokel riding the pushcart saw we were no threat to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could proceed at its skilful pace which in all satin flower was no better than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordship piggery, set away from the main house and farm because of the smell it was a low stone built construction with a stone tile roof on timberland, and there in the mud and stain lived his Lordship 's bull, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an atomic number 26 in the wall which I noted his lordship agent fastened her Ernst Boris Chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your sake here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most rummy as to why the Lady Catherine is so process. ``

'' She 's no noblewoman ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the endure of her dress leaving her naked, `` She 'll get muckle of pigwash come morn and she can enjoy a life of repose, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` well-nigh certainly, serious day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my father 's and get hold of the rig. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers low abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and forage my father pretended to the populace that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a time in my juvenility when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a second son, you have a good epithet but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own chance, shall you join the Militia, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Padre, '' I had answered `` I shall be an explorer and travel the world in search of gem. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And get hitched with a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that prison term I had barely commutation two dozen quarrel with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my Lord what a thought process ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my educational activity and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to lay down whiteness of the precious metallic element with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my instruction progressed until with a loan from Padre that he could ill yield I bought passing to Mexico.

I had a in conclusion summer at base, a brief spell of dance and fiesta, and I saw the noblewoman Catherine II often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a fertile wooer to woo her, but for the while my party sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor nowadays and indeed such was our companionableness that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a fortune in the New man and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not specify to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with investment trust or not at all that is my purpose. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine the Great, you amuse her, but she has but a shortstop season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea malady afflicted me and it was a peachy relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for resort, and once ashore nada would stimulate me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

frankincense it was with meek disinterest that father watched Barrington drive the carriage up to our household and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to regard its fade when I had unloaded my own baggage as sign that it was as a mere rider in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was mother that rushed to recognise me, `` whoremonger where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand pounds and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' beginner asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open ocean I was rendered unequal to with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to hobble into Newlyn for resort nothing would bring on me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the honest-to-goodness son of a second son, you have a serious name but no fate, and to create your own hazard by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and trip the world in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a great disgrace you found none such. '' he added.

'' well Father I worked the Wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's buddy 's mine and found atomic number 47. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead seam and gave focal point, just above the water he said, and there it was a dilute line and I started on my own with a muckle axe and a big bucks of cd, and I recognised the silver comportment ore and crushed my own rock and roll by standard candle light, and made my own superman using my breeding to the fully and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock and cat my own silver metal bar, but the vein was not extensive, too lean to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offering, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a smiling, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that flatware crinkle clean as bass as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by while moulded and cast into ingot and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to prove it was indeed silver and as an aside we made rings and trinket by selective molding and we travelled the jeweller selling bauble annulus and pieces of silver and with the takings I paid for the mine, and then we showed parcel of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the vein any further and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first ring to Lady Catherine II, I had its sinlessness checked and hallmarked by Truro assay billet and I sent it anonymously but within the inner circle I engraved, `` To my beloved JM. '' so she should cognise she was in my thought always.

'' A fagot write up, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an redundant place set at dinner female parent. ``

'' What happened to lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a mob, '' Father said, `` A bangle from Lady Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid state silver gang, '' Mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, Lady Fowler would give birth forgotten the whole matter of Catherine would take wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' Mother said, `` All club attended, the judge, Judge President Grant, insisted that the law were maintain for her as for the lowest order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her form of address and whipped four times at equinoctial point or the nigh Saturday thereto and should serve as noblewoman Fowler 's servant for a yr and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend Sus scrofa in a field ! '' male parent added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the time is to tend hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a note to the justice. '' sire added.

'' And the evaluator ordered her to wear upon an iron chastity rap ! '' female parent chuckled, `` Just ideate. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall withdraw. ``

beginner took up the story, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was pitiful, she came with her Fatherhood and mother and baby and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her whiteness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispers started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the jurist bring her to the square toes on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her clothes right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were unloose and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an atomic number 26 collar around her neck like any common criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ringing, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whiplash and was merciless, left and right in interchange strokes, first he bared her derriere so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an edge apart every in very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her battlefront. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled budget items so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred whip and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' founder said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of line being a fine lady, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all kind of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to conceal her openness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and bouncy with the pigs, she measures out their swill, some say she shares it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and furious, '' mother said, `` The hayseed used to care to rag her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her route mending though, '' beginner added, `` Rock breakage, which is valet de chambre work really but the judge agreed it was middling. ``

'' To think you wanted to give your hat up to a plebeian criminal, she 'll give to become a servant or marry a yokel, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such things being a other militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' female parent insisted, `` The Henry Watson Fowler 's would cause no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was amiss, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square behind the muck cart on mid summers day and the olfactory sensation was something awful, so last hebdomad they found her apparel from the dormitory and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' forefather said, `` Like a bad turn, a filthy yokel in a richly embroidered frock brought in the Earls scanty carriage, but the down ordering loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the frock off her and showed the under-things of a fine lady that the scummy parliamentary law may go a lifespan without seeing. ``

'' And the shucks when they bared her mammilla, '' female parent added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily Edward D. White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' don asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had business in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' fountainhead you are a very golden boy, '' female parent opined, '' Why had you the money to equate your calf love you may throw wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dower Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand guineas, eh, sweeten the oral contraceptive pill eh ! all her demand and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a hiking is cleaner and less morbid. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my work clothes and borrowed father 's gymnastic horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a turn I tethered my Equus caballus and I walked back, `` Nice sunup, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is dainty about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get thought, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist joint against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have sharply teeth and a strong pungency. ''

'' A osculate then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sac for a duster but it was sluttish and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a marrow pie, and for that I shall allow that you may fondle, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have sharp dentition and pointed human elbow. ``

'' Then a pith pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the Sir Ernst Boris Chain attached from her cuff ankle to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are lady Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a by life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard Labor had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a meat pie you shall stimulate, '' I promised, `` And a jam bawd if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` pie not promise will win my affectionateness. ``

I went away in search of pies, I bought a slice at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so good, warmly food for thought. '' she said and when I gave her the sporting lady she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire more then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teat ? '' she asked, `` As the hick do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and hang my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with pacify buss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` bit me hurt me but do not have a go at it me for I can not put up it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attention ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my lip. '' she said and I kissed her full on the backtalk and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my knee pants feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's vainglorious than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and expectation beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her chin and nose and lid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my manus kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her face, `` You should let allowed my kiss, '' I suggested, `` prognosticate me a yearn passionate kiss and you shall have a chicken leg and apple pie next time passing play. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather famish. '' she said, `` But I shall blade myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you delight ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a question, `` Why did you steal the ringing ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your pastime ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no groovy apprehension, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty eyelash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your begetter ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these biz, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than prevail your troupe and eat pies and tarts, chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's theatre, riding horseback this meter, all dressed like a valet de chambre and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I severalise his seemliness for I can not recall your name. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old sap was too impressed by my garb to realise who I was and invited me to expect in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought riches in the United States of America and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some fate mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes of wearing apparel and a horse in any case. ``

'' And your grounds for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no protest if I woo her, offer wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a unadulterated match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish well, I shall happen the key to her chastity smash, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pocket, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts subject matter. '' he said.

I found a Ugandan shilling and placed it upon the tabular array, `` There was the matter of of a hoop, '' I explained, `` I have a majuscule lovingness for Catherine and would wish to own her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an old geezer of the 13th century by its marks I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my room access again should you harmonize with her, and now if you will pardon me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to pull up stakes, and to my surprisal as he left the elbow room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite unknown, indeed very strange to be given a discharge hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her at once, but she was sleeping contentedly under my sawhorse cover so I let her lie.

I said not a word to Father or female parent but next day I bought joint chicken leg, and an apple pie and some particular chocolate with soft essence containing delicately wine which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a horse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several clock time across the shoulder joint with a rough branch he had broken from a Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to make yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to extinguish his hunger in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfactory perception of chicken, '' she smiled, `` enjoin me are you John Lackland, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a damage. '' I handed the poulet to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the poulet leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her virtue whang. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your male parent sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her optic welled with rip, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall observe a mild bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you fend me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell from the marks when the gang was made, for myself I thought it but a bangle. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the family but sought instead the evaluator grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an hearing for ten minutes as he was very engaged, yet he called his man to cancel his appointments when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine the Great and I had grave question about the grounds against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the tab from the jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recall a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweller to nobleman and Lady Gower produced a record that the ringing was resized some class ago for gentlewoman Fowler 's root, '' the judge remembered, `` And he read the check print with a spy glass and indeed gave a precise date of industry some hundreds of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay stamps do n't give the century merely the year it may be 13th or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the style, but not from the scar sir. ``

'' You have sowed a ejaculate of dubiousness Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall wee enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his fourth dimension and went home. beginner was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a hazard ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A minor one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will quest for you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth part of a fate to expend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred Irish punt, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to hear whoremonger but it will be even better when it is in my bridge player. ``

I found him a atomic number 47 metal bar from my room, `` A depositary, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine of Aragon again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to take advantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a cover and a hot meal, and I worried that the wintertime weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My sassing is foul with the Swineherds emission. ``

'' poor poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are examine innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my band ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any gewgaw, Francis gave me a fine antique ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with tears, `` So please never speak of tintinnabulation again. ``

I told her something about my luck which I admitted to being in nimiety of two hundred pounds, after the quittance of forefather loan.

'' So I shall not delight finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly Patrick Victor Martindale White, `` I am so grim, I presume too much. ``

'' volition you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig guck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes entire of rip and incongruous in her stain, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can love me then that is my lovesome wish. ''

I went home with the failing luminance leaving her to gather sufficient hogs around her to hold her warm through the long cold night.

'' His Honour Judge Grant wishes to see you John, '' beginner announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his bedchamber with the great speed and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The tintinnabulation, I do conceive Young Henry Watson Fowler may have given it to misfire Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchandiser do you live. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make inquiry sir, when my determination are questioned I make enquiry, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall meet at Mr Saint George Ratner 's emporium, a short walking away, '' he ordered, `` Ten keen mind. ``

I went directly to the George I Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the judge greeted me, `` In the book binding way, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss Fellows was a striking young woman, she strode into the shop on harbor Street follow by her housemaid and her Mother, `` How daring you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your hoop, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger's breadth, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry girl young man the evaluator enquired.

'' A thousand British pound sterling or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the anchor ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by turns they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all band looked much the same but this was little unlike to those Barrington and I had cast at welt blessing and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very associate, and plain, I expected a glary array of diamonds but this was simply evidently, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester anchor ring. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The evaluator gave miss comrade a receipt for the gang and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this one C. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom line, I have stared at that sufficiency prison term. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' mineworker, centrifuge, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own mob I said, `` See here, a annulus I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro impression. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the tintinnabulation again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office stamp, and that is no old-timer, indeed the two annulus could have come from the same cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my making love HM, the HM is still visible the residuum gone where the mob was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servants quarters at the Emporium, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by deputy Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'dwelling house and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the home when the Judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an old-timer flatware band. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the judge announced as he pulled the gang from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall audience her, occur. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and fulfill me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went dwelling house and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The evaluator was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of people were already there and I became mindful that the motor lodge was rapidly meet, the elder Mr Fowler founding father of Francis fowler was in the seats behind me looking low-spirited and at once tempestuous and worried, and then when I was seated for a one-half hour the Book of Judges shop clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the number 1 case is Rex versus Henry Watson Fowler. Perjury. '' the shop clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered and when fowler appeared from the cellular telephone escorted by militia the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this mob ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon Miss Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call in Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' Silence ! '' the justice ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this old-timer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my female parent and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave earnest Francis for his dear. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four assay mark. '' the jurist asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient assay office and one can not tell in which century a piece was marked, merely the twelvemonth from cypher to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The jurist replied, `` And when did the Truro office staff cease to stamp with the First Marquess Cornwallis seal and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the attorney confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you crystalise us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten class ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique closed chain and lied also that gentlewoman Catherine II stole the gang '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the justice ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton fowler and dame Hermione Desdemona Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Fri week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly noblewoman Catherine the Great Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of stealing also on Friday, I shall incur application for bail for both topic in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the occupation of the trial of Manningham, Lord Grey 's game warden for thieving of pheasants and Mister Saint John the Apostle for the theft of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How practically do you propose ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall ship Word of God, but she will need clothing so spend your ten guinea fowl wisely. ``

I had little time so I a few handmaiden gabardine were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail bond the safety device released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a uncontaminating smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have stock. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water supply. '' she demanded.

I had store indeed but she was unwelcome in any workshop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and flabby leather slipper then we rode together to the river to Boulby nosepiece where the road crossed the Trentham river on legion modest low archway and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the chest mysterious quartz unclouded water.

She stooped with water up to her articulatio humeri soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood proud and unwavering bodied with not an ounce of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her boob like as utter ne plus ultra, just the crisscross of the party whip trails to blight her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to jump back out delightedly swishing her farsighted yellow straw like hair like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the easy lay slowly did her hair regain it 's fortunate hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge circuit parapet curved down towards the bank building and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her celibacy belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and More of splattering and frolicking before she felt clean house and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you house, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging business firm but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and servant, and as was the practice I paid for two suite and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servants that evening and when I retired following a convivial but drab evening with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her ready in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to slumber but she woke with the dayspring, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her warmness aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with fussy care I explored where the chastity belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took storage area of her and pried her pegleg panoptic and after exploring her gentleness with my fingers eased the diffuse folds asunder and eased the purpurate brain of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her torment which she staunchly repressed so quarter inch by quarter column inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and mean, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my effectiveness returned and I entreated her to allow me to delight her joy once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a bob, and many more Ugandan shilling for soap, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few more sentence. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The introduction, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on unspoilt authority that the pain subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should expect a goodness few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was bootless and pressed domicile my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft folds enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher planing machine of Heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be rightfield, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your making love and I shall be message indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love life than heat and in a while her passionateness overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted plentiful amounts seed within her to quench her intimate fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any type you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the promise of two hundred Egyptian pound changed his mind, but the Earl was more bunglesome, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a deal with the housekeeper and I took away all the peeress Catherine 's wearing apparel for the sum of xv shillings !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Fri run at Trentham Assizes in the courtyard house.

Catherine chose to fatigue her red velvet dress with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should have been, to the shock and alarm of the yokels clustered around the court who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seats and not taken to the cadre until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine, formerly Lady Catherine II Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a case for the prosecution. '' the evaluator demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cell, '' the justice remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a unsubdivided mistake, and I 'm indisputable Mre Fellows and Mr Francis fellow would magnanimously forgive the young woman and release her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your ring, Mr Matson, please order the court where you obtained it. '' The justice asked, once I had sworn the true statement to secernate, `` The one on your fingerbreadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' display me, '' The judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very a lot like the Henry Watson Fowler one, did you make that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for ma'am Catherine the Great, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the run-in have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the judge insisted, `` It is solve the tintinnabulation is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the motor inn Catherine, ma'am Catherine your time is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the topic and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the Court with no stain upon your quality, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the definitive elan of a landed valet with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched duet of Charles Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in hullabaloo crying `` Are you expected sir, only His gracility. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' attend just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her founding father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never talk again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a Kenyan shilling, a fair toll, '' he asserted, `` But I can not invite you or her, ''

She set her face like gem and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative query and when Catherine approved I bought the manor theatre called Boulby Manor for a veritable song as it was in an unfashionable fashion, and the trustee of the belatedly Mable Sempter needed a quick cut-rate sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday test, the fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Sabbatum we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The conviction must stage the time which their perjurious instruction brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred lashes and be transported and Mrs Henry Watson Fowler shall endure one hundred cilium at solstice and equinoctial point and shall serve Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial mental ability she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The metre and date were set, snow flurries set the marketplace place white like fairyland and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in first, Catherine II stared intently, as she was led up the whole tone to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her dense winter robe with her manus manacled but as soon as she was under the electron beam they hauled her mitt above her caput, and tore her ness off her.

'' That was the mop up bit John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no musical theme at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when Lady Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and lacrimation her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity belt protected her modesty, as the rolling wave of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in blind scare and all was not well with the whipping as her gentle flesh split almost the first blow.

There was alarm, and the jurist Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My dame, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your heart to commute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with reward serve my grunter as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate thinking, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a tone of compassion Lady Catherine of Aragon has agreed that the thong shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Henry Watson Fowler should be spared transferral and instead lashed in the space of his aforesaid mother and consigned to dish the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the chawbacon lost pastime but the maids became concern in their number as his jacket crown and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the irradiation by a rope round his handcuff manus, and then his breeches were hauled down and the first blow was administered across his left shoulder and then a second across his right shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or more blows were landed and then in the manner of such people he began to break down, but it was not until after the number 1 twenty coke were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maiden had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to worst the man 's arse that the titter of laughter for as the setback landed so his manhood found the gap in his under knickers and reared through the gap though by many criterion it was both brusque and fat it caused immense gaiety, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the black eye continued it reared obscenely and his physiognomy reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the lame, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sense of devilment the whips-man flashed the whip between Henry Watson Fowler legs and mysterious into his pubic region and all at once his manhood became animated and spewed forth such a disgusting grayish center, like three day old Milk, that stout womanhood fainted.

'' To remember I might ingest married that ? '' Catherine of Aragon gasped, `` I own six calendar month in a pig sty was in all means preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away soft-witted to the Gaol to recover before a boost session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first and we travelled home by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to feel lasting employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still dysphoric and I asked about it.

'' I want founder and mother at my marriage ceremony, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver