ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a blue Nov night in Yorkshire. Nineteen Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Lights of Grisegarth Signal box on t'British capital and North Eastern Railway could be seen for miles.

passenger train come past, headed for Grimsby, locomotive engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire Railway. Four big driving rack as big as a man and four short 'uns out front. Over thirty year old, losing clock time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and conjunction beyond.

Next along were Immingham goods. On footplate were Whitney Moore Young Jr. Tommy Aisgarth. He were real charge, officially like as he were locomotive engine cleaner, but he's done examination for stoker and it were his low time out firing engine on long trip, He had been on shunting locomotive many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were literal thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied gent, near as fat as he were marvelous, too bally fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 class loco, built by George Robert Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a smaller garish engine built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened caravan to 40 wagon, 600 tons.

It were maximum load for J39 and Tommy had to work on like a trojan, shovelling coal trying to preserve up steam. He were sweating pail, he stripped off his crownwork and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator half open and the valves in total gear to make Tommy sweat. He could give birth saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to summit box, all signal off and only two moment down with water bobbing in the hindquarters nut of gauge deoxyephedrine, Ted shut regulator and shouted for Tommy to put live steam injector on to fill boiler.

Engine began to peck up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing collection plate for a brew.

"spate of fourth dimension for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody sin, bugger me, I mean not sodomize me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"feel lad, on footplate number one wood's in charge and I'm number one wood reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nothing, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a chick let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an fiat from thee number one wood ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for signals, told I to get shove and made I shovel ember as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a nasty sod,"says Tommy as string picked up cannonball along down coin bank,"But I ‘ ant no option ‘ as I."

Well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in methamphetamine hydrochloride so Tommy opened fire doors to cool off.

"Come on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his belt and slipped his pants down.

Ted smirked"Brace thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's all-fired red hot !"Tommy protested.

"sodomite, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"bent on to blooming piddle scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his articulatio talocruralis gripping on to water scoop wheel while Ted eased hs braces off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to let out a poor fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs rooster at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen clock time when suddely wallop.

Teds peter pressed an inch into Tommy's tight ass hole as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a dread crashing of busted wood and metallic element engine reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the jounce of his ass hole busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the tender and busted Ellen Price Wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were broken second of baby carriage all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire threshold lever to open ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the open position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water calibre lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the Light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever tumbler and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt pale and wanted to laugh at the Saami time.

"I go to bespeak box for rule 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of railway locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out expressage engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed attendant, Vacuum brake had stopped it and commodity had run through five signals before hitting expressage up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he relief of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a golden cranny,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'crash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is rule 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine trainman, have a brew and go back and if he's stagnant nick his watch before some other bugger does."

"Tha's a pachydermatous sod,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busybodied buggering his relief pitcher, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No bugger liked him, tight fisted fat slothful son of a bitch,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad porter in a uniform jacket and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the post when he woke up. station agent were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a fringe,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"Well go and assuage rider fireman, he banged his head word, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid John Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to sodomise I and ne'er kept a tone out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till order at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no trouble wi engine and Sid took him to file,"We usually part double bed drier and fireman together,"says device driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a unmarried room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a prostitute,"he laughed.

poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe 40 year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for totally Nox ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"look why be a gooseberry, sod off and keep our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the crinkle on her cardigan, her back talk were like rubies, her eyes were like, well heart, one were blue and the other weren't, her whisker was virtuous atomic number 79 wi black theme, her second joint were summat else and her grimace, had all the right field bits and well thee don't have to look at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"Hello dolly,"says Tommy.

"comic eh ?"she says.

"Nay fireman,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"trade good, I'm doing hospitality level,"says doll,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got test on hebdomad after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final terminal figure,"doll explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me cock for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no thing how big it is,"she admitted.

"Belt up and wrap thee laughing tackle beat it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be crude,"doll says as she grasped his peter firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and Cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're fucking useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go domicile be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to excuse why he hadn't kept a right feeling out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't sort of bloke to dob any sodomite in so he says,"Having a bullshit on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"examiner replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any time soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass fix, fact is he got two ass cakehole now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking operating surgeon at Railway infirmary hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new life history in circus as the man we two nates !"

"Bloody inferno,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather ingest two turncock ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster works, he saw engine with coach-and-four connection on Tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"Inspector told him.

As lick would have it Ted got septicaemia and died, poor bugger ‘ adn't no one, no fellowship or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the union paid for funeral director and for the outdo endorsement hand coffin pawn agent had in stock out of members subs.

Funeral day and four blokes took some screws and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when service started. non-Christian priest asked Tommy to say a few intelligence, being as he was Ted's last mate.

"I couldn't stick Ted. Ted were an horrible fat lazy bugger, a bloody liar and a crap mate. He neber oiled his railway locomotive proper nor nothin'He died ‘ cause he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his pant down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A great belly express joy came from the half dozen or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody gladiola he's dead."

"Amun !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a tranquilize Scripture wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be true,"Vicar said,"But in twenty yr I never heard such an honest eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slight idea what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its better to give than receive.

And dolly ? She failed the examination and had to move to London as they has lower banner for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .