Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. He was so tired because he had been doing xxx hours a week at workplace lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home life. Add in shoal and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the clip he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his brother and sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to brush his dentition. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"skillful morning"to her before leaving for school. Why he still did, he was n't sure as shooting. He had become so distant, there was no real joining left."Probably just out of riding habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his female parent goodbye and then left with his brother for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't blab much. It was n't that they did n't like each early, but Jess and Luke had very niggling in common these sidereal day. They had different friends, Luke being more of a social butterfly ; different tastes in euphony, Jess listened to more gravid alloy and rock, while Gospel of Luke was more into the pop music scene ; etc ... Once they got to school, that was it. The car drive there was the most clip they spent with each early in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their sound the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school day. High school day had never been"as advertised"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a smattering of friends, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more dismay, his thoughts sometimes turning to suicide. habitation animation was ... well it was n't a home anymore ...

"Good sunrise Mr. knight ”, said his homeroom instructor, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his seat and started on the homework he did n't finish last night. math was a particularly hard matter for Jess. He was just one bad rate away from failing the bailiwick for the semester, but at this point that was the last thing on his psyche. Staring at the blank canvas of report in front of him, his mind started to wander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no happiness. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone fear ? Will my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The bell for the end of home room rang, jolting him back into consciousness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a unmarried problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from schoolhouse ( his pal was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activeness ), his foot to the floor and the radio blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his life story and he was retreating into it Thomas More and more, barely paying attention to anything else. medicine made him experience knock-down, made him feel like he had a reason to populate. It seemed that the lyric poem of the song on the radio spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him experience well-chosen that someone, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his work uniform, he took a spirit at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, darkness brown hair, electric profane eyes, was about six feet tall, and had slim body. The person staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The eyes of the person in the mirror looked so depopulate and vacuous it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the light and headed to work.

At workplace that night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the client, just wanting the night to end so that he could go home and eternal sleep. rest, the one affair and one prison term of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't experience anything but peace. The next day was Saturday and he did n't bear to go to operate or schooltime so he could sleep all through the night and well into the dawning.

Opening the door to his theater after workplace, Jess got a halfhearted"Hi"from his parents. The kind of"hi"that you say out of politeness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that Night, and then went to his elbow room. Turning on his computer, he checked his electronic mail. As common, it was just a lot of junk e-mail, but then Jess saw the electronic mail. Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the e-mail, then shut off his computer and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some minuscule sense of hope.


literary criticism welcome. Like I said, let me know if I should continue .